Chanyeol: Chapter 32
Cupid's MatchSince I’m still feeling down in the dumps, Bora takes me out to eat – her treat. We don’t go to a fancy restaurant. We’re too broke for that. But we do order whatever our stomachs desire, and since I’m a er for sweets, I order a large shake after consuming my sandwich.
“It’s me and you again,” she says as she dips her French fry into her shake. “No boys. No problems.”
It’s true that life seemed a lot easier back when boys didn’t concern me, but Chanyeol is a concern I want. I didn’t fawn over him from afar like I did with Lange. I didn’t turn out to be ‘obsessed’ or misunderstood. I was his friend, but maybe now, I can’t compute to that.
“You were my first boyfriend anyway,” I joke. Bora tosses me her French fry. It lands in my shake.
“There are a lot of people in this world. And more girls than guys. So some girls are bound to be single forever.”
“That’s depressing.”
Bora picks up the fry from my shake. “Kind of. I hope that isn’t me. There are people out there who have dated for four years, and they already look like they’re set for marriage. And me, I’m just drifting.”
Using my straw, I poke a tunnel through my shake and sip. “What do you like about Nam?”
Bora watches me eat while she organizes her thoughts. “Well,” she starts. “At first, it was because he reminded me of Kea. Not that I liked Kea, but that Kea was a really good friend of mine, and I felt natural with him. Kind of like with you, you know? As for Nam, I didn’t care who I was with him. I liked that I could be anybody, and he would still accept me. I liked that I knew that if I changed, he would still be my friend.” Bora breaks one of her French fries in half. “What about you? Why Chanyeol?”
Why Chanyeol? Truthfully, I’ve never asked myself that question. I don’t know why my heart beats for him when at the beginning it didn’t even jump. He’s good-looking, sure, and dresses well, all things I said I appreciated in a guy, but those qualities aren’t even the reason I’m attracted. I’m confident enough in my feelings to say that it isn’t solely attraction, but something stronger, more magnetic, and everlasting. I like that when he smiles, his eyes crinkle unevenly. I like the way his Adam’s apple bobs up and down when he talks. I like his reckless confidence when it comes to people. I even like his weakness when it comes to his personal life. And I like that he understands me without my having to say anything – which is both lovely and infuriating.
“I just do.”
“You guys still talk, don’t you? Does that ? Do you mind it?”
“I mean … the fact that he still treats me the same is nice, I guess. At least he doesn’t shun me. But I wish he’d act more awkward now that it’s out in the open.”
Bora nods in agreement. “So do you flirt with him openly?”
I snicker. “No. I can’t. I don’t know how. And he already knows I like him, what’s the point? I don’t want to do the chasing. I’m old-fashioned. That confession was a one-time event. I want the guy to want me. And I want a man. Not just a boy, or any guy, but a man. You know?”
Bora stirs her shake with a spoon. “They say guys mature slower.”
“It isn’t just that. You just have to go through certain things to finally get to a place where you feel you’ve grown out of yourself. I guess that’s a part of maturing. But he’s stuck,” I use Chanyeol’s words. “And I don’t even think it’s stuck, as in, he’s still in love with Seya, or his ex. I think he’s stuck, as in, he’s been in that place for so long that he doesn’t know how to get out.”
“Or maybe he does, but he doesn’t want to.”
“Exactly. He’s afraid,” I say.
“So make him not be.”
I give her a face that questions her intelligence. “Like how?”
“Didn’t you tell me about this quote that Suho guy showed you?”
“Yeah.”
“So give Chanyeol twenty seconds of bravery or whatever it was.”
I shake my head. “If he likes me, he’ll chase me.”
“You’re stubborn.”
I glare. “I feel I’ve done my part. What about you? You’re telling me all of this stuff, have you even
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