Chapter 26: Asunder

The phone rang three times, then stopped. Baekhyun heard a shuffling sound over the line, like the rustling of sheets or a gust of wind whipping past. He held his breath, listening for a familiar voice or a telltale click. Nothing came.

"Jaehee?" he tried. The silence stretched, long and unnerving, until finally a soft sigh reached his ears.

"What do you want," JaeHee's voice was quiet, her tone resigned.

At the sound of her voice Baekhyun deflated with relief, though the knot of tension in his gut remained. The challenge loomed before him, the fearsome moment of truth. He was stranded upon a precipice he did not know how to scale. Leaning an elbow on the keyboard cover, he rested his forehead in his palm. "Can we talk?" he asked tentatively.

"What is there to say," she replied, clipped and reluctant.

"I... well..." There was so much to say that he simply didn't know where to begin. Pulled in opposite directions by want and need, desire and duty, freedom and captivity, he stalled. Chanyeol's arms slid around his waist, a jarring juxtaposition of warmth against the chill bearing down on him through the phone.

"Baek, there's only one thing to talk about." She sounded tired. It was a different sort of fatigue than that which slowed the voice after a long nap. Baekhyun remained at a loss for words. She filled in the blanks. "Are you cheating on me?"

Baekhyun slid his fingertips into his hair and tightened his grip. Chanyeol's hands were warm through the material of his shirt, a reminder, an anchor. His heart lurched and pounded deafeningly, and in that moment he knew that there was no way forward but the abject truth.

"Yes..." It came out as a whisper but could not have echoed louder had he shouted it. He heard a gasp over the line and saw Jaehee's face as clearly as if she were before him - a hand pressed over , deep brown eyes glittering with pain. It shouldn't have been so easy to conjure the image of his fiancée so aggrieved. It shouldn't have been accompanied with the sound of a muffled sob. None of this should have come to pass -- nor would it have if it weren't for his weakness.

"I'm sorry..." he said, his voice cracking as it struggled past the lump in his throat. "I'm so sorry."

"I-- I just-- no." Jaehee's breath hitched. Though her voice wavered with emotion, her next words were steady and certain. "Even if I forgive you for this someday... I will never forgive myself, Byun Baekhyun. If you want someone else... then-- then be with them! I don't want to live like that. Second place isn't a life."

"Jaehee--" Baekhyun's voice broke on her name. "Please-"

"No-- No. Even if-- even if I managed to forgive myself, one day, I don't know how I would live every day with that doubt. With you. Never knowing if every word from your mouth is a lie." She drew a deep, unsteady breath. "Baek. I may be simple, and I may not be so smart, but... I can't live like that."

"But, the wedding... what do we..." Baekhyun trailed off, pressing the heel of his hand to one eye. His head had begun to pound, unlike any hangover headache he'd ever suffered through. His palm came away wet.

"I'd rather my parents not know it was because of this," said Jaehee, audibly trying to maintain composure. "We can... we can say, I don't know. Anything, but this. Please."

Disapproving eyes and angry words whirled through Baekhyun's mind. His family would see this as yet another mark of failure. What kind of man was he if he couldn't even hold an engagement together long enough to be wed? Let alone the horror should they learn why it had fallen apart. He shuddered.

"I-- okay. Okay," he promised wholeheartedly in a rush. It was the one thing left that he could give her. "Whatever you want."

"We decided to do this, didn't we? We can decide to undo it." Jaehee's voice trembled and it pained Baekhyun to hear the uncertainty in it. The sound of fresh sobs came through the line, harrowing and sharp. "I'll say it-- it was because... we just. We couldn't--" Jaehee's voice broke and stuttered as she spoke, fraught with emotion. "Because I... I can't..." She dissolved into tears, sobbing openly.

"Jaeheeyah," Baekhyun gripped the phone tightly. "I'm so sorry... I'm-- You deserve so much better than me."

"You don't understand..." she cried.

"I do--I do. I-I'm no good, Jaehee." Baekhyun's voice trembled with bitter conviction.

"Baek...I don't know what to say," Jaehee's voice was watery as she spoke. "I want to tell you you are good, and that you deserve t