Her lips quivered as she listened to him intently. Just hearing his voice was enough to make her cry. 

It has been too long. Too long. 

'I miss you..' She sobbed. She wiped the tears that were now clouding her vision, as she sit alone in the living room, illuminated by a faint light from the lamp. 

It was about six months now when the news about TVXQ's disbandment shocked the whole Korea and of the whole world, but more than that, it was an event that terribly broke her heart. How can fate be so cruel. Separating the two most important people in her life..

'Where are you now?'

There was silence at the other end of the line. BoA clutched her phone tightly as if holding on to him. Her thumping heart, audible in this chaos. She prayed so hard for him not to hang up. To talk to her. She needed to hear his voice. 

'I'm outside.'

As much as she was holding on to her phone was as easy for her to drop it and rush towards the door. She flung the door brusquely and saw Jaejoong standing before her, his sullen eyes meeting hers. She threw her arms around him and embraced him tightly. He returned the warmth, slightly lifting her from her feet. 

'I missed you.. I miss you BoA..' 

Tears were shed and an insurmountable gush of emotions followed. They sat on the couch never letting go of each other's hand. The silence must be overwhelming but this was enough. 

'You know, I might get you in a lot of trouble for meeting me.' He chuckled. 

BoA smiled thoughtfully. Aside from leaving the company, they even announced how SME put their artists under a slave contract. How they weren't compensated properly. BoA doesn't necessarily agree to some of their views but meddling won't make anything better. There was already a huge rift between them and the company. Instead of taking sides, she kept her piece. However, that would also mean cutting communication with him. 

'I know but I don't care right now.' She squeezed his hand letting him know about her sincerity. Jaejoong smiled, thankful for her kindness. 

'How's everyone? How's... Yunho?'

BoA bit her lip. She didn't look as confident as she was earlier.  More and more, reasons to avoid Yunho has been her only means of solace. 

'We're supposed to meet up in a few hours..' She trailed off. She couldn't lie, not to him. 

'Oh. I thought it has been.. difficult for you to face him since I left. I'm glad it isn't so..' Jaejoong rose from his seat and motioned for the door. 

BoA grabbed his hand in panic. 'Where are you going?' She choked. The momentary bliss was cut off too quick. 

Jaejoong looked at her thoughtfully before pulling her hand off of  him. 'BoA, you don't need to keep up with this charade anymore.. We both know your true feelings,' he paused.  It hurts him that he would have to tell her this. For her to acknowledge what was true from what she perceived as the truth. 'You don't love me.'

'But I do Jaejoong! I love you!' She protested holding his hands once more. Her grip was so strong. 

He sighed. 'I know you love me but we both know it isn't the type of love I was wishing for. And it's even more impossible now coz I can't constantly be by your side.'

Her heart was hurting but she still refused to acknowledge any of his words. 'We haven't even tried--'

Jaejoong shook his head. 'It wasn't meant to be, from the very beginning.. But I'm happy to hear you still wanted to try somehow..'

BoA kept quiet. What was there to say to him? To convince him? She cannot let go. She can't let go the stability Jaejoong gave her as she constantly fight her feelings for Yunho. 

Jaejoong cupped her cheeks and kissed her forehead. 'I don't mind being your convenient lover because I knew I love you. And you knew of that love.' He caressed her cheek, wiping her tears. 'I know you tried. You tried to reciprocate my feelings, even dared to surpass it. But the turmoil in your heart, as you try to evade your feelings for Yunho, wouldn't allow that wish.' He went on. He's determined to go all the way. If he couldn't be by her side forever, he would at least want to end BoA's suffering. 'Stop hurting yourself anymore. Stop pretending you love me when we both know who is the real keeper of your heart..'

'I'm.. I'm such a bad person..'

Jaejoong shook his head again. 'You're not a bad person BoA. You were just afraid to be hurt if you knew Yunho can't return your feelings that's why.. that's why you chose me.'

Tears welled at the corner of her eyes. She cried so hard.. She cried for the wickedness of her own heart. 

A wave of guilt washed over him as she watched this fragile girl drown in tears. 

BoA's not the bad one -- he was. 

He knew BoA loved Yunho and Yunho actually loved her, too. 

But Jaejoong knew her weakness and used it to gain his position at her side, dismissing the knowledge the two has been trying to conceal from one another. Jaejoong chose to be her lover, even if it's out of convenience. For that selfish desire, he had to betray these two people. 

It wasn't official but he knew the others were aware that BoA and himself shared more than just friendship. At least that's how Jaejoong has always wanted it to be. He didn't mind, because at least even if in lies, he could have her. And that's exactly what Yunho believed all this time. Yunho's love was so pure that he would rather hurt than hurt either both of them. 

Yet, the time came when Jaejoong had to let go. He embraced her, it would be the last time. They both knew what it would mean as soon as he leaves. But they have to and that was how it was supposed to be. 

The horrific truth she tried so hard to bury deep within her heart crawled it's way up as soon as he left. There was no other word to describe how cruel she was for using Jaejoong to avoid getting herself hurt. 

Despicable. 

She stayed paralyzed on her knees, crying for his name. It was all she could do not to hurt Jaejoong any longer. To call out his name but not ask him to stay.. 

She was so ashamed of herself. So vulnerable and weak. She needed to change if she wished Jaejoong to be free. If she wanted to pick up pieces of herself, she needed to do it herself. That's what he taught her. That was Jaejoong's last act of love. 

*

Author's Notes:

What is plot twist?

HAHA! This is long overdue and I know some people have forgotten about this story already but yeah... Finally an update! How was it? A lot of things were revealed in this particular chapter and it's quite heartbreaking writing it.. Still, this needed to happen. This is basically the . LOL.

Sorry for breaking the hearts of BoJoong shippers!!! Oh well, towel. The story is approaching it's ultimate end. Hope I'll still have you 'tl the very end!