pa·na·ce·a

  [ˌpænəˈsɪə]

noun

A remedy for all diseases, evils, or difficulties; a cure-all.

There is this story I have once read. It was a short story.

A story about realization and truth.

In life, there are certain moments which will truly make you doubt what is actually happening around you. Most humans don’t easily stay sane when horrific and tragic things happen to them. Like, for instance, being tortured.

I have heard, from that story, that a man who’s been tortured will enter a state of mind where he is not being abused anymore. However, one day he has to wake up from that.

He has to wake up and remember.

The rumor, the story, tells us that when this is happening, this dream state, there will be a note somewhere which will remind you to wake up. It will repeatedly remind you to wake, to wake up from that state of mind.

Please, just wake up.

It’s a scary story, I know.

Not as scary has this one, though.

My heavy, painful arm rested on the table while my eyes were glued to the door. I was sitting in the chair again. Busby’s chair. A joke, a rumor, but actually truth based on the wrong parameters. People did die after they had sat on this chair. With a job like ours, we eventually would all. My time hadn’t come, I believed. I refused to.

So as time was passing by and all the clues were lying in front of me, on that table, I realized something very important. It was the first time  I finally started noticing how all these clues could indeed fit together as one.

I had to wait, though, because Hyoyeon entered her office with a furious, nervous look on her face. I’d figured she was still mad at me for disappearing two weeks, but then again, I was here to cooperate. This was the first time I ever allowed someone to check my blood. It had to be done, though. I needed to know what they had done to me.

“Have you found something?” I raised my eyebrows and waited for her to sit down on her own chair. My eyes were on the orbitoclast the entire time. I had to go back to that house and finish my job. I had a strange feeling in my gut that I would find out soon. The dark clouds were slowly fading away. These clues were enough to solve the mystery. I remembered getting something out of the pockets of Chaerin’s corpse. I was holding it in my hands right now.

Hyoyeon frowned and opened the file. “They weren’t quite talkative in the lab, especially Fei. I read it, though. I was surprised that you’re still alive at first, but now I understand.” she read it once more and looked me right in the eye. “Remember the new drug I asked to look for when I first gave you this job? I never told you what it was, but if you know what Flunitrazepam are, this drug is even worse.”

“Roofies? Have I been date r*ped?” I leaned back and didn’t understand where this was going.

“Could’ve been, but no.” she shook her head hearing that remark. “As I told you, these are worse than your roofies. If not used properly, you could’ve died or fallen into a coma. You didn’t. The amnesia you’re suffering from is its most common side-effect.”

“Oh, so is it possible for me to retrieve my memory?”

“That I don’t know. As I told you, this is a highly illegal, new drug. This is what we were after in the first place. However, I can’t close this house down because I found traces in your blood. I have to get them in quantities, large quantities.” Hyoyeon grabbed a pen and started writing something down.

“I can do that.” but I knew she wasn’t done yet.

“However,” see, I knew. “this is not the reason why Fei and all the others didn’t want to tell you this in person. They believe that it should be me, but…” she nodded slowly and bit on her lip. “I don’t know how you’re going to react.”

“Look, just tell me.” I grabbed the item and looked at it once more. This was the thing I had found when I first found Chaerin. I remember it feeling cold at the beginning, but it was exactly what I had expected it to be.

“I said I was surprised that Zico kept you alive,”

“I’m not even sure