SPOTTED: XIAO LU WANTING TO BECOME A MEMBER OF THE DERP SQUAD?

posted on december 26, 2012.  961 comments, 98424 views

HAY DERR EXOTICS, GOSHSHIP GURL HURR, UR ONE AND ONLY SOURCE INTO THE SCHANDALOUS LIVES OF THE TWELVE

HANDSOME MEN OF EXO. WHAT'S MAKING THE HEADLINES OF MY HOMEPAGE TODAY? CHINA'S PRECIOUS DEER, LU HAN.

ALL OF YOU KNOW HOW CLOSE I AM TO YOUR PRECIOUS BOYS, SEEING HOW I AM THE ONLY ONE ABLE TO DIG UP THE

BIGGEST DIAMONDS IN THE ROUGH , SO I'M HERE TO REPORT THAT YOUR PRECIOUS XIAO  LU HAS GONE OFF OF HIS

ROCKER  AND  IS OFFICIALLY LETTING GO OF HIS VERY WELL MAINTAINED BABY FACED IMAGE FOR THE LIFESTYLES

OF THE DERPS.

WATCH OUT CHANYEOL, D.O, AND SEHUN ; LUHAN IS PACKING A BIGGER PUNCH IN HIS DERPS THAN THE PACKAGE IN

KRIS' PANTS. MY SOURCES STATE THAT THIS LITTLE DEER IS TIRED OF LOOKING PERFECT  AND  ADORABLE AND IS

MORE THAN WILLING TO GIVE HIS SPOT AS THE GROUP'S VISUAL FOR A CHANCE AT DERP STARDOM.  AND THE PROOF

DEFINITELY LIES IN THE PUDDING [WHICH XIUMIN MAY OR MAY NOT BE EATING AT THIS MOMENT]:

EXOTICS [AND SEHUN] I DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW YOU COULD LOVE THIS BOY? THE ONCE BEAUTIFUL MAN DEFINITELY

IS LOSING HIS TOUCH. WHO IS GOING TO BE THE NEXT EXO MEMBER TO RUIN HIS IMAGE WITH THE INFORMATION I

HAVE IN MY WELL MANICURED HANDS? WAIT AND YOU'LL FIND OUT.

'TIL NEXT TIME, U-KNOW YOU LURVE ME,

EXO EXO, GOSSHIP GULL.

Jongdae stared at the homepage of 'gosship gull' with a huge smile plastered on his face. With almost 100,000 views on his most recent post on a website that he created only a week after viewing all 121 episodes of the television series he based it on, he laughed at all of the fangirls that have fallen in his trap of trolling.

Of course none of them knew that he was behind all the mallicious posts about his beloved bandmates and friends, no one did. They gobbled all of the secrets up as if they were eating a piece of Tao's birthday cake. Sure, he knew selling out his bandmates was wrong, but it was fun at the same and he had understood why Yixing ge loved doing it all the time on those chinese talk shows.

He silently wondered how long he would be able to continue this charade before all hell would break loose and he would have to pay for all the consequences for his actions.

But then he saw all the comments he was getting, the attention from all around the world, and that worry left his head as if it wasn't there in the first place.

And then Luhan ge screamed.