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Chasing Summer: Autumn

 

   “She’s pretty cute, isn’t she?” Woohyun remarked. “Jieun.”

   Sunggyu looked at his companion, who had his stare fixed on the road in front of him. “You think?” he asked back in reply.

   The younger of the two chuckled. “You’re quite a loyal guy, aren’t you? Not wavering all because you have your whole attention on a girl thousands of miles away from you.”

   “I don’t worry too much,” he said. “I know she’s in safe hands.”

   “You entrusted her to someone?”

   “You can say it that way.”

   Woohyun let out an amused chuckle. “You’ll take her back once you return?”

   Sunggyu his lower lip, before replying, “Why take back what isn’t mine in the first place?”

<:>

   Suzy gathered up everything she could find which reminded her of Sunggyu. The hoodie he gave her, the perfume she took from the bathroom, the pictures and the hairclip—everything. She tossed them on her bed, and organized everything in a box she found in their garage.

   “Noona!” Sang Moon cried, upon seeing his sister on the floor, placing in the last pieces of whatever she needed to forget in the box. “What’re you doing?”

   She looked up, and smiled.

   “A-Aren’t those the things hyung gave to you?” he spluttered, his eyes wide with surprise. He scoffed. “And to think you wouldn’t even let me touch these back then.”

   “Was that the case?” she asked.

   Sang Moon sighed, before sitting down in front of Suzy. The box occupied the space between them. “Noona, what are you doing?”

   “I’m making way for new memories.”

   He stared at his older sister, and then he scratched his head. “I’ll help you put it in the attic, then.”

   “No,” she cut in, while staring ahead. “Burn it.”

   “Noona!” Sang Moon exclaimed. “Don’t you think that’s too much?”

   Suzy shifted her gaze at her brother, and she shook her head no. “Burn it.”

   He glowered at her. In a blink of an eye, his hands were already on the box, as if doing that would help in protecting it. “Noona, you looked after these things for so long. These are the ones Sunggyu hyung gave you—”

   “Sang Moon,” Suzy interrupted once again. “I want to remember Sunggyu as a brother. Not as a man.”

   Sang Moon opened his mouth to complain, but stopped upon hearing their front door opening up, followed by the joyful chatter of their parents.

   “I’ll take this to the attic,” he said with finality, while picking up the box.

   “Sang Moon—”

   “We’ll burn it,” he blurted out. “We’ll burn it soon, so stay put.”

<:>

   “Sunggyu hyung,” Myungsoo said, while staring at his monitor. He stayed in the kitchen, then, in order to not disturb his younger brother. Upon hearing the older one’s name, Daehyun quickly stood in front of the laptop to wave at him.

   “I’m doing my homework,” he reported.

   “Then you better run along,” Sunggyu replied with a warm smile on his face. “And when you’re done and we’re still here, we can talk.”

   “Okay. I miss you, hyung!” Daehyun waved again, before retreating to the living room.

   “Bright as always,” Sunggyu remarked.

   “Of course,” Myungsoo said, with a resounding approval.

   “How are things with you?”

   “Things are pretty all right,” he answered. “How are you, hyung?”.

   “Homesick,” Sunggyu admitted. All of a sudden, there was a crash. The both of them jerked up, and Sunggyu seemed to glower at someone.

   “Hyung, my bad!” a voice in the background yelled. “I dropped the pan!”

   “Woohyun hyung?” Myungsoo suggested.

   “Bingo,” the older one replied. “He’s living with me at the moment due to some circumstances.”

   “It must be nice, then.”

   “He’s louder than Suzy and Sang Moon put together.”

   “I heard that!” Woohyun cried.

   A short laughter was exchanged between the two, and then Sunggyu asked, “Did anything else happen?”

   Myungsoo paused. When his muscles were finally relaxed, he asked, “How do you let go of a person, hyung?”

   Sunggyu leaned back on his seat, his smile showing a hint of interest. “Why ask this all of a sudden, Myungsoo?”

   “Just because.”

   The older one thought for a moment before focusing his gaze on Myungsoo once again. “I let go of a person by holding on to them.”

   Myungsoo furrowed his eyebrows, completely caught off guard by Sunggyu’s response.

   “I let go of a person by holding on to them,” he repeated.

   “How is that even possible?”

   Sunggyu gave him a quiet smile. “By holding on even more to that person, I realize their importance to me. I would be able to know just how much I love them, or how much I’m attracted to them. And once I’ve finally identified myself with that emotion, I’d be able to say, ‘Now I know what it feels like. It’s time to let go now.’”

   The younger one kept quiet to ponder on the things the other just told him. Finally, he whispered, “I see.”

   “How about you, Myungsoo? How do you let go of a person?”

   “Mine…” he began. “Is a very cowardly approach.”

   “Why do you say so?”

   “I push it down with new memories,” he answered. “But in the end, the old ones just rise up in the most unexpected moment, making me defenseless. It’s frustrating.”

   “I see.”

   “To be honest, hyung, Suzy and I…we sort of talked about it.”

   “And you mentioned your point of view?”

   Myungsoo nodded.

   “Ah,” Sunggyu breathed out. “I have a feeling that the things I gave her will be disposed soon. Maybe even burned to ashes.”

   “What makes you say that?”

   With this Sunggyu grinned. “She’s my sister.”

   And just like that, Myungsoo lost to him once again. He began to wonder just how Sunggyu could read Suzy’s moves so easily. But then again, he got reminded that people tend to notice the littlest details on the person they are interested in.

   “What will you do,” the older one said. “When you realize that you already fell for Suzy?”

   Myungsoo’s cheeks burned, and he looked away. “H-Hyung!”

   “It’s a serious question, though,” he pointed out. “What will you do by then?”

   “I haven’t really experienced anything like that,” Myungsoo admitted. “So I can never be too sure.”

   “Then can you do me a favor?”

   He looked at Sunggyu, straight in the eye.

   “Myungsoo, once you realize it, move quickly.”

   “What?”

   “When it’s the right time, and if you really do feel something for her, take her away.”

   “Hyung, what we’re talking about now is really uncomfortable.”

   “I’m just saying,” Sunggyu defended. “Because the two of you hold that kind of aura.”

   Myungsoo cocked his head.

   “Where the whole world knows that they like each other, aside from that idiotic couple,” he finished off. “That kind of aura.”

   “But why are you saying these things to me?”

   “Because the thought of not letting go completely brushed my mind earlier,” Sunggyu answered.

<:>

   “Noona, are you sure about this?” Sang Moon asked one cold afternoon. They were in their yard, staring at the box.

   Suzy bit her lower lip. She kneeled down, pulled the flaps open and took out the shirts she used to take from Sunggyu’s room without his knowledge, along with her hoodie. She also removed the books he gave her as a present.

   “These are going to charity,” she said. “And then we’ll burn the rest.”

   Sang Moon stared at the contents of the box, and pulled out the pink hairclip. “Then what about this, noona? This won’t be burned completely.”

   He handed it out to her.

   “I’ll think of something,” she said.

   After a while, the siblings stood up in front of the fire. They stared at the photographs getting by the fire, turning it into ash. The perfume bottle was already in the trashcan, along with the picture frames.

   “You can be cruel sometimes,” Sang Moon whispered.

   “I know,” she said.

   “What if Sunggyu hyung finds out?”

   “It doesn’t matter,” Suzy answered. “Because everything’s incinerated.”

   “But not the memories of him,” Sang Moon pointed out. With this, she looked at his brother. He sniffed, and added, “I think this is enough. I’ll get some water to extinguish the fire.”

<:>

   “Hyung, are you already asleep?”

   “No. What is it, Daehyun?”

   “I miss Mom and Dad.”

   Myungsoo paused, but he carried on caressing the top of his brother’s head nonetheless. “You can always call if you want to see them.”

   “Even if I call them, I won’t be able to see them together.”

   He kept silent.

   “Why do adults love each other and then ignore each other afterwards?”

   “Because,” Myungsoo began. “Even if they’re older, they are not perfect.”

   “It would be great if they apologize to each other. I’ve been telling it to God lately.”

   He sighed, and hugged Daehyun. “He hears you.”

   “I know,” he assured him. “But if it isn’t what God wants, then I’m praying that I will obey and not whine and not be angry. But if I ever become angry, then I’m praying that I won’t be angry for long.”

   Something seemed to squeeze Myungsoo’s heart, making it difficult for him to breathe. The next thing he knew, tears were threatening to fall from his eyes. Daehyun was right beside him, and at the age of seven, he was able to handle his burden quite well. Myungsoo, on the other hand, kept on dragging his mother’s corpse with a bitter heart.

   “Daehyun,” he said. “Are you not afraid?”

   “No, I’m not.”

   “Why?”

   Myungsoo felt his brother smile against his chest. He looked up at him, and said, “I have Jesus in my heart, hyung. Why should I be afraid?”


 

"Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven."
- Matthew 18:4

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gaksitalGaksital
#1
Chapter 17: This is such a beautiful story! However I feel like it's written for Christians? I'm not sure if you're intending to preach secretly in the story so I cant focus on the main plot. =/
anitaklr24
#2
Chapter 38: It is spring again, and I return to this story again too because It is a meaningful and so well written story.
anitaklr24
#3
Chapter 38: I always return to read it again.
Loveukworld
#4
Chapter 29: Its too warm
Loveukworld
#5
Chapter 13: Great writting.. great..!!!!
Loveukworld
#6
Chapter 12: Myungsoo was. For once happy... Its hurting...
Loveukworld
#7
Chapter 6: A thumbs up for ur innocence author nim
Loveukworld
#8
Chapter 3: Oh the entry of a mischievous boy there... Nam wohyun...
sanaonboard
#9
Chapter 38: I’m happy how things turn out at the end. Thank you for showing us how great God’s love for us is. I hope you’ll keep on writing! :)
sanaonboard
#10
Chapter 12: I’ve reread this every year around this time and I still cannot get over the fact that Daehyun dies.