Sungyeol stared at Jin Gook, his eyes filled with wonder. He silently watched as the young boy ate his cheese cake with gusto. It was his first time sitting down in front of a child, and inevitably, something inside him stirred. He began to think about his own baby, whom he never saw. Without even being conscious of it, the young man leaned forward, and began, "You said you have no Daddy."

  The boy nodded profusely. He clasped the paper cup with both of his hands and tipped it against his tiny mouth.

  "Do you know where he is?"

  Jin Gook scratched his head and looked up thoughtfully to calculate his thoughts. After exhaling a mouthful of air, he answered, "I kept on asking Mommy before, but I don't understand. And I saw her cry once. That's why I don't ask anymore."

  “Do you dislike your Dad, then?”

  “My Mommy said I shouldn’t dislike him, and I want to ask why, but...”

  "You're afraid your Mom would cry again?" he finished off for him.

  The boy simply wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

  "Aish, that's dirty," Sungyeol quickly took a paper napkin from the silver holder in front of him and gently patted it against Jin Gook's chin. "By the way, do you live around here?"

  "We live in Busan," he briefly explained. "But we just visited here—can’t you tell from the way I speak?"

  "You really have to travel far, then," Sungyeol remarked, with a chuckle.

  Jin Gook smiled brightly, which, for some unknown reason, caused Sungyeol's heart to flutter about.

  "Since you're a nice mister," Jin Gook pulled out a pencil from his blue rucksack, together with a sheet of paper. "You can visit me in Busan if you have the time. We can play, and you can carry me around again."

  The young man scoffed. "You like being carried that much?"

  He shook his head no. "But it's nice if it's with you."

  Jin Gook gave him the paper after writing the address, and Sungyeol, out of good intentions, folded the paper and neatly tucked it away in his wallet. They talked for a few more minutes when the front door swung open. The boy paused midway and tears began to well up from his eyes. "Mommy!"

  Instinctively, Sungyeol looked back, and his world froze over. The background music abruptly stopped, and the people around him vanished from his peripheral view. All he could see—all he wanted to see—was the very person he secretly missed.

  “Jin—” Hara trailed off, upon realizing the situation. She stopped halfway, and slowly, Sungyeol stood up. Jin Gook then ran towards his mother, his steps as huge as his tiny feet could muster. Hara automatically wrapped her arms around his back.

  “Mommy, I got lost,” Jin Gook began. “But the nice Mister helped me and gave me something to eat. I learned a new word today, too! It’s pray...pri...prioritize!”

  “R-Really?” she choked out, vision already blurred because of her tears.

  “Yes. It means making something more important than the other.”

  “Can we talk?” Sungyeol chimed in, his voice breaking. Without any warning, the man standing behind Hara smiled, and tapped Jin Gook’s shoulders.

  “Hello,” he greeted. “My name’s Woohyun, and I want to be your friend.”

  Jin Gook studied the stranger kneeling beside him. Woohyun subtly glanced at Hara, signaling that he’d look after her son. Gently, he led the boy away. They settled to sit at the farthest table. Woohyun quickly set his laptop up and plugged his headphones in, only to offer it to Jin Gook.

  Sungyeol walked over to Hara, and attempted to hold her hand. She roughly brushed his arm away and walked out of the cafe. He followed suit.

  “Was the mister kind to you?” Woohyun warmly asked.

  Jin Gook smiled, and nodded. “He was scary at first, but his heart,” the boy spanned his arms to form an imaginary circle. “Is really big.”

  Woohyun smiled, and searched for a flash game through his browser.

  “But Mister,” Jin Gook began. “How did you know my Mommy?”

  “She’s looking for you in the mall, and I figured she needed help.”

  With a frown, the boy asked, “Did Mommy cry again?”

  “She did, because she was so worried.”

  “I’ll say sorry to her when she comes back,” Jin Gook muttered. “But thank you for helping my Mommy.”

<:>

  Sungyeol and Hara both stood beneath the cold, their breaths visible. He couldn’t even face her. The Christmas jingles sounded so ironic because of the atmosphere surrounding them. The bright, neon lights flickered above them.

  “He grew up well,” he began. “Jin Gook.”

  She gave him a smug smirk. “He’s the same child you asked me to abort before.”

  Sungyeol flinched; her words cut through him. He his lower lip, and whispered, “I know. I’m...I’m sorry for that. For not being responsible enough, I’m sorry.”

  “That wouldn’t turn back time, would it?” Hara turned around, but Sungyeol grabbed her by the wrist.

  “Jin Gook said he doesn’t have a father,” he blurted out, his voice desperate for answers. His mind was quickly trying to conclude all possibilities that perhaps, perchance, hopefully, he still had a chance with her. “And he told me you didn’t want him to hate me.”

  “Don’t misunderstand,” she calmly said, and this made Sungyeol even more afraid. He’d prefer it if she thrashed about, crying her eyes out and blaming Sungyeol. What he disliked the most is apathy, because it indicated that the other person couldn’t care less about him whatsoever. “I don’t want him to get involved, and even if I want to hate you, I can’t bring myself to do just that.”

  Sungyeol held his breath.

  “It’s not worth it,” Hara finished off. She broke free from his grasp. “Investing any emotions I can think of on you...is just a waste of time.”

  She quickly entered the cafe again, only to leave with Jin Gook. The boy looked back, smiled and waved at Sungyeol. He gave him a pained smile, and waved back. As much as he wanted to approach them once again, there was a barrier he couldn’t seem to cross. It felt like he truly had no right to see his own son. Suddenly, several questions filled Sungyeol’s mind.

  How did Hara cope?

  Did she still go to school?

  What does she do for a living?

  Is she meeting someone?

  Sungyeol held back his tears, and after composing himself, he returned to the counter. That was when he realized that no matter what happened to him, the world wouldn’t stop spinning. He was already aware of it before, but the impact of that very thought finally hit him.

  “Oh, is Jin Gook away already?” Himchan asked, as he emerged from the kitchen after taking his break.

  “Yeah,” Sungyeol muttered. He checked the pastries in the glass case, and checked the coffee machine. He didn’t even have the opportunity to tell Hara the things he wanted to say. The man who took Jin Gook away earlier finally approached the counter. He looked at the menu for a moment, and placed his order.

  “Ten thousand won,” Sungyeol blankly said.

  “I’ll pay by card.”

  Sungyeol punched on some buttons on the monitor before gesturing towards the slot. “You can put your card in now.”

  “Thanks,” he did what he was told, and signed on the tablet in front of him. The receipt was printed off, and Sungyeol quickly prepared the beverage. By the time he was done, the customer grinned at him. “Jin Gook said he had fun, spending time with you.”

  “Do you know his mother?” he suddenly asked.

  “We only met at the mall, and I helped her find this cafe.”

  He quietly nodded, and apologized for being so assertive.

  “I think I’ll be a regular here, so you can call me Woohyun,” he cocked his head and read the barista’s tag. “I can call you by your first name, right?”

  “Ah, of course.”

  “Then, Sungyeol,” Woohyun lifted his cup. “Thanks for this. May I have a cinnamon roll, as well?”

  “A new batch is still being baked, I’ll give it to you once it’s done.”

  “Sure thing,” with languid strides, Woohyun returned to his table, his laptop open before him.

<:>

  Myungsoo’s phone started ringing. He was at home, then, his living room floor scattered with crumpled pieces of paper. He automatically answered it.

  “Sungyeol, shouldn’t you be sleeping by now? You’re—” Myungsoo paused. His friend was sobbing on the other end of the line. He regained his center, but he waited for Sungyeol to open up nonetheless.

  He had no idea how long he sat there in silence, listening to his friend cry. Myungsoo could only recite a prayer in his mind. Sungyeol was never the type of person to express his fragileness so openly like that.

  “I saw my son today,” Sungyeol disclosed. “He’s really bright.”

  Myungsoo bit his lower lip.

  Sungyeol then told everything: from the moment he found Jin Gook crying in the back alley to their short conversation. He spilled his heart out, saying that he actually wasn’t prepared to let everything go—that he wanted to start anew with Hara and their child.

  “But I’m happy,” Sungyeol concluded. “Knowing that Jin Gook grew up healthily like that, I’m happy. I’m relieved because Hara didn’t listen to me before.”

  Myungsoo rubbed the back of his neck. “You’re happy, but you’re still hurting.”

  The other chuckled at his friend’s remark. “That’s about right. I also made a new acquaintance today.”

  “Ah, are you going to ditch me now?” Myungsoo teased.

  “I’m thinking about it,” Sungyeol retaliated, in the same tone of voice. “His name’s Woohyun, and he said he’s staying in here temporarily. He works in a publishing company overseas.”

  Everything seemed to click in Myungsoo’s mind. “Woohyun?” he repeated.

  “Yeah. Do you know him?”

  “Maybe,” Myungsoo began. “Sunggyu works with someone named Woohyun, too, and they both work in a publishing company.”

  “I’ll ask if he drops by again, then,” Sungyeol said.

  Myungsoo smiled a little, and looked up at his empty ceiling. “The world is so small, don’t you think?”

  “I honestly feel like everything’s a conspiracy at this very moment,” Sungyeol admitted. “I’d laugh if it’s the same Woohyun we’re talking about.”

  They talked for a bit more, and Myungsoo blurted out, “This Christmas, how about coming home?”

<:>

  It was Christmas, but Jieun was locked up in her room, with the heater in full blast. Sunggyu entered, carrying a tray of warm soup.

  “I’m not as good as Woohyun, but this will do,” he said, while placing the tray on her drawer. He helped her sit up. She, on the other hand, limply leaned against her headboard. Her complexion was off, and her lips were chapped.

  “I’m really sorry,” she sniffled. “We should be going out, but…”

  “I don’t mind,” Sunggyu cut in. “So don’t mind if this soup tastes bad or not.”

  She laughed weakly. “My senses are not at its best. I wouldn’t even notice.”

  Sunggyu took the bowl, scooped a spoonful, blew on it before signaling Jieun to open . She carefully sipped it, letting the warm, creamy liquid slide down her dry throat. “You look like you’re used to this.”

  “It’s because I am. I did have a sickly girlfriend before, after all.”

  Jieun rubbed her eyes. “We’re the same, then. Sunggyu, do you miss her?”

  “Perhaps that isn’t the right word. I do remember her sometimes, though. Especially when I see something I can associate with our memories together.”

  “Like what?”

  “Like this very moment,” he answered, as he gave her another spoonful.

  “Should I play the role of the girl who gets jealous because of her boyfriend’s dead ex?”

  Sunggyu chuckled at her remark. “You’re willing to waste your energy on something as petty as that?”

  “Why? Don’t you find that adorable?” she questioned. “Jealousy is another sign of affection, do you not know that?”

  “Adorable, for me, is a girl who looks dignified but at some point loses her poise.”

  Jieun made a face.

  “Do you want an example?”

  “Shoot.”

  He looked up at the ceiling thoughtfully, and grinned. “There’s this one time when I was working overtime with this woman I know. She was drinking a cup of coffee I made for her, and out of the blue I asked her out. She accidentally splattered her coffee all over her monitor. Isn’t that adorable?”

  Jieun stayed quiet, causing Sunggyu to laugh. “Hey, Song Jieun, you must be feeling better already. Your color’s returning, especially on your cheeks.”

  “Can you not tease me?” she fired at him. “I’m already sick and having  my blood pressure rise—”

  “Teasing is another sign of affection, do you not know that?” he returned. “Finish at least half of this soup, and drink your medicine afterwards.”

<:>

  “What’s a popular girl like you doing at this time of the month?” Sungjong took the empty space beside her and comfortably sunk deeper within the thick quilt. “Ah, the floor’s heating up just fine.”

  She offered him the bowl of popcorn she heated in the microwave. “I’m being human, so what?”

  Sungjong chuckled as he took a handful. “I suppose watching DVDs on the first day of winter break is being human. Where are the others?”

  “Mom and Dad bought things for dinner, while Sang Moon’s preparing for the upcoming exams.”

  “I should prepare, as well. Why’d I choose psychology in the first place?”

  “You said you wanted to understand a child’s mind better,” Suzy reminded him. “Do you think it’s only you? I have to read ten books in two weeks.”

  “Reading’s like a hobby for you, though,” he returned. “Do you have some soda?”

  “Check the fridge, and get some for me, too.”

  Sungjong quickly rose up, muttering to himself how cold it is. In a rush he went to the kitchen to grab two cans of soda from the fridge. He slid back into the quilt afterwards, and decided to pull a prank on Suzy by pressing one of the ice cold cans against the back of her neck. She let out a yelp, causing Sungjong to laugh.

  With a glower she grabbed the can from him.

  “You’re welcome,” he said.

  They simultaneously opened their cans, and it resonated around the room with a loud, short hiss. Taking a gulp, Sungjong noticed the pieced up Superman figure, resting on the glass case in front of them. “Oh, it’s still there.”

  “Myungsoo didn’t take it, when he moved,” Suzy explained.

  “Did he say anything?”

  She shrugged.

  “Maybe he didn’t want to get reminded,” Sungjong concluded.

  “That’s Daehyun’s, though,” she pointed out. “So does that mean he didn’t want to remember his younger brother?”

  “I can’t say,” he replied. “But memories, as far as I know, can affect people in two ways: they can make a person thrive, or they can cause painful heartbreak.”

  Suzy nodded away. “I get where you’re coming from.”

  “Then how do memories affect you?”

  “It goes both ways,” she answered. “But in the end, I learn something from them, and I grow.”

  “You grow,” Sungjong repeated.

  Suzy her lower lip, and confirmed it. “It’s easier to wallow myself in self-pity because of the days that had already passed, but standing up and anticipating for what tomorrow has got in store for me—be it good or bad—I’d rather live like that.”

  He smiled at her response. “You really are one of a kind, Bae Suzy.”

"In the same way I will not cause pain
without allowing something new to be born,” says the Lord
“If I cause you the pain,
I will not stop you from giving birth to your new nation,” says your God.

- Isaiah 66:9