Sunday; 4 November 2012

The day that I wished that it would never come, is here. I sat up right on my bed and hugged my knees, praying that everything that happened yesterday was just a bad dream and I will wake up from it soon. 

But Yuna's voice snapped me out of my 'dream', "Yeojin.. Are you okay?" She warily asked. I nodded weakly. She patted my back lightly and went back to pack her stuffs. 

"Yeojin, you need to pack your stuffs." Mirae was worried about me. Well, everyone was. 

I got up from the bed and went to pack my stuffs. I didn't felt like myself at all, I feel like a zombie. 

*****

"Are you girls done yet?" There was a knock on the door and the time to leave was here. I slung my bag over my shoulders and followed the others out of the room reluctantly. 

I was expecting B.A.P to be in the living room. But no, there was no one around. Where did they go? 

Disappointment lingered in my heart. I wanted to see him, for the last time. 

"They have gone for practices." Manager Yoon stated, as if I asked him about their whereabouts. 

"Let's go then." Manager Yoon said and motioned Mirae to go out. I looked around the living room. I could still remember every single memory I had with Daehyun here. I took a last glance at the place the both of us kissed yesterday and walked out of the dorm. 

I sat at the seat by the window in the van. I watched the familiar surroundings zoomed by. Well, at least I will still be able to see him in school and at the company. I tried comforting myself but it isn't working. 

My heart felt empty and all I could think about, was him. I was staring out of the window when I felt a vibration in my pocket. I took my phone to see who was it. 

From: Youngjae

Yeojin, promise me to take good care of yourself. I love you. 

It knew it was from him. Maybe his phone really got confiscated so he used Youngjae's. 

*****

About 5 minutes later, we arrived at our new dorm. It was something similar to the other one but it was pretty far from our company and school. From today onwards, we will be going to school in the company van. 

I followed behind Minyoung and went into the dorm. We stood around the living room and waited for Manager Yoon. 

"It's bigger than I imagined." I heard HyeJung whispered to Junghye beside me. 

They were really worried about me because I wasn't showing any signs of emotions. Normally, when this happens to any girl, she would be crying her heart out. I did cried yesterday night but today, I couldn't even find the tears. No matter how much I want to cry and scream out loud, I just couldn't. 

All that I could do was to stare into space and let the memories replay itself again and again, like a spoilt player. 

"There's 3 rooms in this dorm and a common bathroom. So, 2 of you will share a room. And, there's a bad news for you girls..." Manager Yoon stopped abruptly his words, causing everyone to be tensed up. 

I looked up from the floor and glanced at him, "The debut date will be delayed." 

I just looked at him blankly. No matter what happens right now, no traces of emotions and feelings could be seen on my face. It's as though I'm dead and I have no feelings. Even the delay of our debut which was a big news didn't seem to cause a difference in me. 

"How long will it be delayed for?" Mirae asked after a few seconds of silence. 

"I wasn't told how long would it be. The instructions was that it would be delayed until the situation calms down. The news spreaded like wild fire over the net and things aren't looking good." 

"What do you mean things aren't looking good?" There was a slight desperateness in Minyoung's voice. 

"The teasers were released a month ago for your debut and Sunny Hill have already got much attention from the public. After the news got out, we received harsh comments regarding the upcoming debut." 

The whole room was filled with silence again but this time, the atmosphere was more tensed as everyone got what Manager Yoon was trying to say. He meant that Sunny Hill was already disliked even before debutting. 

"You girls should go and unpack and settle down, there's still school tomorrow. The van would be here to pick you up at 7.30am tomorrow, don't be late." Manager Yoon informed us and left the dorm. 

The 6 of us stood there in the living room for a few more seconds. 

"I will share rooms with Junghye. HyeJung, you share one with Minyoung. Yuna, you share the other one with Yeojin." Mirae's voice was cold. But I knew the reason behind it. 

Who will not be upset when someone causes their group to be disliked by the public even before debut? 

I watched her walked into one of the room, guilt rushing through my veins. I shifted my gaze down to the floor, too ashamed to look into any member's eyes. 

They went into their room, one-by-one, none of them said anything to me. I rather they shouted to me in my face and blamed me so that I would feel better. I knew that they didn't said anything because they didn't want me to feel any much worse than I'm feeling right now which made me feel even more guilty. 

After all that I put them through, they still thought about me. I don't deserve it, not a single bit of it. I'm the kind of person who doesn't like to trouble others and I always think of others before myself. If I had to make a choice to choose whether it was me suffering alone or everyone else suffering together with me, I would make the choice to suffer alone myself without any hesitations. 

There was only Yuna left in the living room, standing beside me. I was expecting her to go into the room herself without me but to my surprise, she slipped her arm through mine and talked to me as if nothing happened at all. 

"Let's go, Yeojin!" Yuna chirped. I let her dragged me into the room. 

It was a simple room, with a bunk bed, wardrobe, a simple study table and a dressing table. 

"I will take the upper bunk and you take the lower bunk, okay?" Yuna went over to the wardrobe and began taking out her clothes. I walked over to the study table and sat down on the chair. I took out my books and stacked them at the corner of the table. I packed my clothes in Yuna's bag because I didn't have a lot of clothes and my bag was full after packing my school books in it. 

My bag fell onto the floor as I was taking out my books. I bent down and grabbed it the other way round, causing all the small items left in my bag to spill out. 

I placed my bag on the table and began picking up my stuffs. Wait, what's this? I fiddled with the foreign object in my hand. 

"Yuna, is this yours?" Yuna looked at me with a slightly shocked expression, maybe because I talked to her. I didn't speak another word ever since last night, I refused to. 

She shook her head and continued to look at me. I nodded my head gently and continued playing around with the object in my hand. It was a necklace with a ring attached to it. 

Is this mine? My eyebrows creased in confusion. I held the ring up and examined it closer. U? It had a 'U' engraved on the inner surface of the ring. 

U? I kept repeating that letter in my mind, it seemed kind of familiar but I can't remember it. I gave up and kept it back together with the other items that fell out into the front pocket of my bag. 

*****

{A/N: It's still the same day, only a few hours later.}

Another one and a half month to the final exams. I had my head buried into my books, determined that it was the only escape from reality now. 

"Yeojin, dinner is ready. Don't you want to eat?" Minyoung poked her head in and asked me. 

As usual, there was no response from me. I don't pay attention to my surroundings whenever I'm studying. She let out a sigh and closed the door. 

I lifted my head up and looked around. Did someone came in? Seeing that there was no sign of anyone, I continued studying. 

'Bzzz Bzzz Bzzz' 

I stared at my phone, irritated. I always hated it when someone distracted me. I picked my phone up and see who the caller was. Manager Yoon didn't confiscate my phone, he didn't mentioned anything about it. 

Youngjae? I answered the call quickly, thinking that it might be Daehyun. 

"Hello?" 

"Yah, are you okay?" My heart fell a little, knowing that it isn't Daehyun. I hummed in response. 

"Well, that shows that you are completely the opposite of fine." 

"Why?" 

"Because you didn't call me pabojae like how you usually would." I smiled a little, touched at how he always remember the little things that I do. 

"How's everyone?" 

"Everyone is fine... except for..." I waited for him to say his name. 

"...Daehyun." 

"Youngjae, can I ask you something?" 

"Of course you can." 

"Did I make the right choice coming back?" 

"You think that you shouldn't have came back because of everything that happened now?"

"Yes." 

"Yeojin, I know that you hate to bring trouble to others but you need to understand that everything that happened, it wasn't your fault. You should stop putting all the blame on yourself." 

I kept quiet, not knowing what to say. What Youngjae said was partially true. Yes I'm the kind of person who hates to create trouble for others but all the things that happened, I still think that it was all because of me. If I didn't even came back, none of this would have happened.

"Yah Yoo Youngjae, what are you doing?!" I could hear Yongguk's voice at the other end of the line. 

"Uh nothing hyung, I'm coming! Yah Yeojin, I need to go, I will call you again." He whispered the last part. 

"Okay." He hung up when he heard my response. 

Maybe I really am jinxed. The moment I entered their life, Jongup was injured because of me. And now, because I fell in love with Daehyun, I caused so much trouble for the company, B.A.P and Sunny Hill. Maybe I shouldn't even been born. 

A/N:

UPDATE! 

Chapter 27 is really screwed up, isn't it? :( 

I will make the upcoming chapters better! 

I'm sorry to disappoint those that weren't expecting Chapter 27 to turn out like that. :( 

ENJOY~

All gifs used belongs to their respective owners! ^^

@selectedvips I'm sorry that chapter 27 is a disappointing chapter :( I will take note of it!