Jongin’s face becomes briefly stricken. I whimper a contorted sigh because he is there, yet again with a look of graze in his eyes. Isn’t it very unlucky that whenever I’m in a situation where I shouldn’t be where he should be, he is always there?

He looks down and comprehends the meaning of the cupcake in his hand; the cupcake that has his name boldly displayed on it. Oh holy crap, he shouldn’t be seeing that!

His expression changes in a faint way, and I just don’t know what to feel; half-scared? half-expectant? half-wishful? I don’t know.

All I want is to make him feel that I am truly sorry, but will it even help? After my sorry, will it stop him from asking questions? From getting suspicious? Will I even sound believable that, hey on our first meeting I shoved him away because he stunned me? (which is just an excuse because I really didn’t know him).

That when he caught me sort-of in the shower-room with Sehun, it was because I drenched myself wet for forgiveness?

That when we ought to have ssssse—okay, , I rejected him because I wasn’t feeling well (which is just another excuse because hell no that was so wrong and I’m not his girlfriend for crying out loud)?

And lastly, that the sudden friendship that I have with Luhan was purely not contemplated, and I didn’t mean anything, and up to now I don’t understand what could’ve had upset him that day.

Ugh. Yes. I . I know. I don’t even know how I will explain everything to my sister about all the things that happened. Can I simply tell her that, “Oh sister, your gorgeous boyfriend is actually upset with me because of these reasons; blah blah blah I’m really sorry, I don’t know how to fix it,”

She’d kill me.

I wish I can just tell Jongin the whole truth; that the case is truly complicated, and I am also off-guarded, but I think it will just make things a lot worst. I just have a bad feeling on how he’d internalize the whole predicament.

Our eyes lock for a brief moment, and I can’t stand it. My chest feels like falling and my stomach ripples inside. I feel bad that I disappointed him with the thoughtless things that I didn’t realize I was doing.

This is me. I am so stupid and this is just how it is. I want to make up to him but I am scared that I’ll upset him more.

Added by the loud snickering of Chanyeol and Baekhyun, what can be more overbearing? I really wanna kick them hard for pulling me into this kind of lopsided situation. I bite my lip, and as per usual, there’s nothing that I can say. I turn around sulkily and trudge back to the room.

I blow out a heavy sigh and stand by my lab. Optimism has left me and I feel so small, so worthless, and so tired.

My head snaps up when a figure comes inside. Jongin squirms and leans against the door frame, chewing.

CRAP HE IS EATING THE CUPCAKE.

My insides curl. I am so nervous to even think straight.

He nods. “I don’t really eat sweet things but… it’s a Jongin-cupcake..” He chortles ever so handsomely with his brood voice. I feel a momentary shiver all over my spine as he walks toward me.

“...which I suppose.. is made by... this lady in front of me... who’s being so ing sweet since this morning.” He stares at me undividedly.

My breath hitches for a second and most probably my heart has as well.

He comes closer and places his fingers below my face, tapping my chin with his thumb a couple of times while gazing at me with amusement in his eyes. His gazes have always been steep and intense, but this time, it’s added with softness, which should’ve been contrasting, but is not.

My lips part slightly, preparing to say something, but I am too lost in his eyes. “I-I..”

“Sh,” He whispers, “I get it.”

His words don’t exactly register perfectly in my head, but it makes me smile a little.

He raises an eyebrow at me, which appears to be gorgeous rather than probing. He smirks and leans close, lowering down so that our heads would level.

“Can I have something sweeter?” He asks softly.

My eyes snap wide and I my head to the side. Something sweeter?  I fidget and look around; there is no cupcake left on my tray thanks to the creepers who took all of it earlier.

“I-I’ll just b-bake a sweeter one for you but it’ll—“

“No. I want something sweeter than cupcake..” He cuts me off.

I blink in an attempt to think. I speed myself hysterically; something sweeter than cupcake.. something sweeter than cupcake.. something sweeter than cupcake..

What? Brownies? Cookies? Crème Brule? Blue Berry Cheesecake? Apple Pie?..

He laughs heartedly that I get pulled from my reverie.

I can feel my face burn with embarrassment with the playful way that he’s at gazing me. I force myself once again to think, but my limited-intelligence is stuck and just the mere presence of him causes every part of my brain to clog.

“I’m actually seeing one right now..” He says.

“Where?” I bob my head and wonder what it could be, when I realize that he’s looking to nowhere besides my face. I gulp nervously, though I don’t have any idea what he meant.

“There.” He utters with a slight nod, his gaze still glued on me. He steps closer and I back a single step as well. My heart starts to pulsate in frenzy. My brain is not working properly but I know that he’s making me nervous again.

He is gazing at my lips.

I get frozen when he stops a notch from me. My eyes widen as I focus on his demigod-face, which is just a breath away from mine. He is too close, too close for my view to twitch.

Everything is silent, nothing but the sound of my breathing. His eyes drop close as his face nuzzles in a rhythmic motion against my own, which is too captivating for my own liking. Just the smell of his perfume is turning my thoughts to intoxication. The movement of his head is gradual yet hazy, and he brushes our nose, sending my whole body to tense and my heart to race increasingly. He holds my waists. I am being pulled like I couldn’t break his own gravity in me. Little did I know, my eyes are closing as well.

My head sways with the hypnosis of his closeness. I can feel his hot breath tickling the edges of my lips, and I wonder how it would feel like to have his kissable lips against mine once again.

Every contact of our skins befall my consciousness to stupor, and right at the moment, I stop analyzing what these unrecognized feelings are, and I just want to stay. He pulls me even closer and cups my nape gently. It feels like he’s my breath away yet it also rouses a strange sensation in me.

I know he will kiss me and I want him to.