“Come on, Yoonji! It’s tradition! We do this every time we come here!”

                “But, I’m tired, Baekhyunnie. Can’t we just skip it this year? We have enough film strips to last us a lifetime! Let’s just go home, please?” I shuffled my feet, giving him my best pout and puppy dog eyes combo, praying that he would give up on his quest to go to the photo booth.

                Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I want to break tradition or anything. And I’m not against taking a picture with my best friend. We take daily selcas together, for crying out loud. I admit, it’s slightly annoying, snapping so many pictures just ‘for fun’.

But, that’s not the reason why I want to leave. No, it’s not because I’m tired of photos. I’m not tired that we take so many of them that I’ve lost count, or that we’re spending five bucks on a strip of four photos. It’s not any of those cases, although they could be possible answers. Actually, the reason, it’s more along the lines of ‘I don’t know if I can survive being in such a confined space with him’.

                Reader, I know what you’re thinking, ‘But Yoonji, you’ve been in that photo booth with him every year before. How is it any different this time?’

                Well, dear Reader, this is where it’s different. Ever heard of the Friend Zone? That wretched transparent box that people are put in when they obviously have no standing chance of being in a relationship with their best friend, even if they’re so hopelessly in love with them? Well, I’m stuck in it.

                Yes, you’ve read that right. I, Kim Yoonji, am in love with my best friend, Byun Baekhyun. Sad, isn’t it? We all try so desperately to avoid that not-so-gray area, to avoid being labeled as the ‘best bud’ of a friend of the opposite . But, life likes to troll us that way, doesn’t it?

                I don’t know when exactly I had realised my feelings for him…I think my subconscious already knew; just my stubborn psyche didn’t want to acknowledge it. Let’s just say, when I finally succumbed to my emotions, it wasn’t a pretty sight. Oh boy was I pathetic, hyperventilating and denying it to the very last second, turning over my innocent room in the process just to make a lost point.

                But, I have come to accept those feelings. Yeah, I’ve fallen into the knobby clutches of the Friend Zone, but who says I have to admit it to him? Most loves are usually unrequited anyway, right? Besides, some things are better left unsaid.

                Again, I know what you’re thinking, ‘Why don’t you just confess, maybe he’ll like you too! You never know if you don’t try.’

                Aw, shucks. I’m flattered by your concern, but I’ll tell you this now, it’s virtually impossible to confess to him. He obviously only sees me as a friend and never fails to remind me of this fact every time we hang out. Heartbreaking, I know, but again, that’s life for you.

                “Yoonji~~~~”

                Oh god, he’s pouting. No, heart, stop it; stop beating for him.

                “Yooooonjiiiiii~~~~~”

                Oh my god, he’s pulling out the big guns. Not the puppy eyes. Please, anything but the puppy eyes.

                “Yooooooooooooon.Jiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii~~~~”

                “ALRIGHT, ALREADY.”

                “Yay! Let’s go!”

                Damn it…

--

                I never realised how small the photo booth actually was until we sat down. Well, tried to. There wasn’t enough space on the seat for the both of us. Somehow, I ended up sitting on his lap. Totally helps my ailing heart, doesn’t it?

                Suffocating. Closed. Space. Panic.

                Why must we sit so close to each other? I bet he can hear my obnoxiously loud heartbeat. Calm down, you! Stop beating so loud! Just once, can you listen to me? Why do you have to react so dramatically whenever he’s around?

                “Remember to pose!”

                “Yeah, yeah. Whatever.”

5…4…3…2…Peace

FLASH

5…4…3…2…Wink

FLASH

5…4…3…2…Heart

FLASH

5…4…3…2…Smile

FLASH

--

                “See, that wasn’t so bad now, was it?” He grabbed my hand, swinging it back and forth, a wide grin plastered on his glowing face. How does he make me fall more in love with him with such small gestures? Hugging me close in the booth so that I wouldn’t slip, holding my hand now. What is he doing to me?

                I’m like a love sick hormonal preteen all over again. I thought I would grow out of that stage after my twentieth birthday, but it seems like I’m far from it. I know I shouldn’t lead myself on, but holding his hand…it just felt so right. Our hands, they fit; they become one, a whole. My life feels complete when he’s next to me, like the last letters filled into the tiny boxes of the daily newspaper crosswords. I know, I know, I’m just romantically delusional, but hey, I can have this guilty pleasure, can’t I? I’ll let go, I promise.

                “Yoonji?”

                “Huh? Oh, yeah. It wasn’t that bad.”

                “What’s wrong?” He stopped walking, pulling me so that I faced him. No, I don’t want to face him now. I just want to go home. As happy as I am now, it’ll leave a bitter aftertaste and I would rather brave it now than later. Prolonging this outing would only make my feelings worse.

                “Nothing’s wrong, Oppa. Just a little tired.”

                “Don’t lie. I know something’s wrong.”

                “What? I’m not lying.”

                “Your nose twitches when you do.”

                “What? No it doesn’t.”

                “You just did it again.”

                Damn nose. Why do you have to be so obvious? You already attract enough attention for protruding out of our faces, so why do you have to make my life even worse?

                “Tell me. What’s bothering you?”

                I can’t drag this on anymore. I don’t know how much my brittle heart can take anymore.

                “Oppa, can we…can we stop this?”

                “What?”

                “Okay, that came out wrong. What I meant was can we stop this photo booth tradition?”

                “Why? You were the one that declared this a tradition! Why do you want to end it now?” I swear he looked sad. No, Readers, I’m not imagining things. He looked genuinely sad. Not that I’m happy about it. Just…it gives me hope.

                “I know. I was the one that started it, but that was years ago. Don’t you think we’re a little too…old for it now? Come on, Baek. We’ve past our teens now. I think it’s time we end this tradition, don’t you?”

                He smiled dropped, replaced by a foreign frown. Well, that’s new. Of all the years that I have known him, he always had a smile on his face, rain or shine. Never had I seen him scowl. Was my request bothering him that much? It’s not like he looked forward to these days other than for the fun of it. It’s not like he ever thought of these days like I do.

                “You…you really want this, Ji? You want to stop something that creates such happy memories for us?”

                Happy, for you at least. It just leaves me depressed and bitter. But, you wouldn’t know that. I’m too much of a chicken to tell you.

                “Y---yeah. I think it’s time we stopped doing those. Besides, it’s a waste of money.” I bit my tongue, wincing at his pained expression. I think I may have taken it a little too far this time.

                His eyes darkened and for the first time, I couldn’t read his expression. And, it scared me.

                “If that’s what you think, then so be it. I never knew you thought of it that way, a waste. Here, why don’t you keep this one.” He stuffed the photo strip into my hand and stalked off. He stopped after a few steps and turned around. “Even though you don’t think much of these days, just know that I do. These are the days I cherish the most. See you around and….make sure you look at the photo once in a while or something.”

--

                I fell onto my bed, face first, indifferent to the injuries that I could’ve sustained. I’m and idiot, I know. I just, I couldn’t take it anymore, alright? How can I continue doing something that will only break my heart even more? It might just pound itself into dust the next time we go. That’s why I made sure there wouldn’t be a next time.

                I crapped out, I get it. I ran away because I got scared. I’m scared of what he would say, of how he’d react if I ever confess, which would be never. It’s a secret I’m taking to the grave.

                I guess this little piece of film would be a constant reminder of the biggest mistake in my whole entire life. I risked my friendship because I’m afraid of rejection. Genius.

                Well, what’s done is done. I’ll just leave it on my nightstand so that I can savour maybe the last happy moment we had together. I just ruined our lives. I need to sleep this off.

--

                It has been a week since the unfortunate end to our photo booth tradition. Baekhyun seemed to be avoiding me. I don’t blame him. I did ruin our longest holding tradition in the years of our friendship. And I’m still beating myself for being such a scaredy cat.

                Every morning I look at the photos. And, every morning I feel more depressed than I’ve ever felt. I guess I’m beginning to regret my decision. Okay, I really regret it. I didn’t mean to hurt him. I honestly didn’t think he would be so bothered by it. But, who am I to know what he actually thinks about it.

                Yet again, I glace at the photo. But, this time, something caught my attention.

                Why didn’t I see this earlier? Why hadn’t I noticed something so blatantly obvious and in my face. I grabbed the photo and inspected it closer, making sure I wasn’t seeing it wrong.

                No, I was definitely not seeing it wrong. I’m such an idiot!

                I need to talk to him.

[Baekhyun oppa, it’s me. Meet me at the park please. It’s urgent. –Ji]

--

                Please don’t stand me up. Please don’t stand me up. Please don’t—

                “Hey…”

                That voice. Those eyes. That…frown…

                “Oppa…”

                “What’s so urgent that you had to call me out at one in the morning?”

                I hadn’t even realised what time it was. I just needed to see him.

                “Sorry. I just…Oppa…when?”

                He’s frowning again.

                “What are you talking about?”

                I slipped the photo out of my pocket and held it up for him to see. Clearly, he knew what I was talking about because his expression changed. A knowing glint flickered in his eyes.

                “Ah, that. So I see you finally looked at it.”

                I looked away in shame. A week is a long time, I know. But it’s not my fault.

                “Oppa…when?” I asked again. He let out a long breath and headed towards the swings. He motioned for me to take the other seat and I warily sat down.

                “Honestly, Ji, from the first time I met you. But, through the years, you only saw me as a friend, even though I thought of you as someone much, much more.”

                Okay, I didn’t expect that. I traced the photos.

[Peace + Wave]

[Wink + Eye]

[Heart + Heart]

[Smile + You]

                He was pointing at my cheek in the last picture. I don’t see how I didn’t notice it before. I guess I studied the frames individually and never thought that they worked together.

                “Yoonji-ah, I know you won’t ever think of me the same way I do you, but—“

                “Who says?” Where did this confidence come from?

                “Ji…”

                “Oppa, do you know the reason why I asked for us to stop the tradition?”

                “Because it was a waste of money.” He kicked the rocks below dejectedly.

                “No. It was because I was scared. I didn’t think I would be able to control my feelings for you. Whenever we sat in that booth, my heart felt like it would burst. You were the reason for that.”

                His head shot up, a smile spreading across his lips.

                “Oppa, I need to tell you something.”

                “What?”

                I walked over to his swing, bending down to his eye level. I held up the photo strip and pointed to each photo.

                “Hey.I.Love.You.” I smiled at him as he jumped up from the swing. I straightened up and took a step back, waiting for his response.

                He smiled, waved at me, pointed to his right eye, held up a heart, and leaned forward. I could feel his breath tickling my lips, leaving it tingling for more. His gleaming eyes searched mine, a smile forming on his lips.

                “You…” he whispered before capturing my lips in a sweet kiss.