Sungmin POV

    There is a word but have different meanings for every human wherever you go whoever you ask the answer is never the same   Love This is my version Not as bright as morning sunshine Not as pretty as flower blooming But not as cold as the night breeze And not as dark as a sky without stars       Should I admit it? That I am a masochist to the end. It’s not my intention from the start to pick up every happiness crumbs on a thorny road. It’s also not my intention from beginning to fall in love with a married man.     Don’t end up like me. It’s hurt. It’s really hurt, Sungmin.     That’s what my mother always said. My heart’s hurted whenever seeing her sobbing secretly in bathroom. I swore back then that I had to find someone who sincerely loved me. Only me.   How a hypocrite I am   I am ended up to fall in the same hole like my mother.   (chuckled)   Indeed, apple doesn’t fall far from it’s tree. But if I think about it again. Why my mother still loved my father until her last breath eventhough he was the one who caused her suffered? I don’t have chance to ask anymore. But I think I already know the reason now.   The reason is nothing.   His name is Lee Hyukjae   I love him   But not with his condition   I am Lee Sungmin. 25 years old. A science student. First semester for master degree in SM University.   He is in the same grade as me. On the first day of our lesson. There were more than 40 students in the class. Most of them already had their own job beside to study here. It’s a bit difficult to coordinate our lesson’s schedule with theirs, to make a field trip plan, and also to make some appointment to our teachers. That time, he walked to the front class. Gathering all opinions. And helping us to sort up so that things like a leader. He would volunteer himself to take the attendance book from department office and also to keep update about the newest announcement for us.   Seeing how hardworking he was. Made me fall over heel to him.   I had become his secret admirer since then. I couldn’t take another step further after knowing he’s already have a wife. His wife is taking a graduate school in germany. He plans to take a break for a year from his college in order to follow his wife to Germany by next semester.   I have no chance. I thought.   He will leave after six months.   And I won’t see him anymore right after these six months.   It’s a quite short time that I thought I would over this feeling soon. But I feel everyday has been ended too slow lately. It becomes so hard to breath now. Make me upset even more.     Why It must be him???         When a crimson violet plays it’s brush across a frame of the sky Who is to blame? addressing this love to the harbour without permission       Everyday in our class, wherever seat I got, my eyes would find his figure first before focusing to the lesson. I would purposely come late to make myself sat behind him or place myself in the middle row to feel his presence behind me.   This isn’t a crime yet. I thought.   What I did is loving him. That’s all.   I would have felt safe in a box if the case about this feeling were only one-side.   It’s when I accidentally sat beside him. We held some light conversations. It’s felt great. I finally experienced it myself how ‘a butterfly in stomach’ felt like. When talking, he always looked straight on the eyes. It felt different sometimes. There is a time when I came late, he would turned to my direction for a second.   That eyes. Can I think they're landed intentionally for me?   Some of his little acts these days isn’t helping me at all to over this feeling. He never forgets to offer me attendance book to fill in almost every lesson. Sometimes, he offers me candies so I won’t get bored to Prof.Kim’s lesson.   There is a lesson which was so fun to join the class. It’s Ethics from Prof. Jeong. Everyone include him in the class would laugh to the edge over that professor’s funny remarks. His gummy smile is too tempting to be ignored.   That's when my heart was starting to beat stranger than before. Like someone who get addicted over drugs. The more you eat, the more you ask.   When he didn't attend our class, I would feel worried and anxious as if he got sick or something bad happened with him. You have no idea how I wanted to text him with "are you okay?". Although I had his number, I didn't have any courage to do it. Hell who am I? We just met in one and a half month so what right I have to ask that question since I am not his wife nor his close friend.   "Sungmin-shi!!"   Everytime he called my name, I would feel like some classical orchestra were playing like a sweet chimes from fairytale around me. I would giggle alone like an insane person when I recalled that memory along while riding a train.   I am starting to feel this will become dangerous.     And it does.         Mom, I am sorry. I can't keep my promise...                   Eunhyuk POV     Love is like this Coming late when you have another Swaying like a devil Crashing someone’s faith Like the fallen leaves on autumn       I am Lee Hyukjae, 25 years old. A science student. First semester for master degree in SM University. Married. A faithful man.   A healthy youngman who married early thinking it was the best dreamy life he ever got. Building his own little family. With a pretty wife. Having a not so big but comfortable apartment. The bright