Your POV

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As I sat down on the floor, I could only stare at the suitcase placed by the door. Do I really want to do this? I questioned myself.

No, I didn’t necessarily want to but I had to.

This marriage was nothing more than a ruse, a sham.

I knew that from the very start yet I chose to ignore it.

I let my guard down and just like that fateful summer of 1998, I feel utterly lost, immensely terrified and completely hopeless.

Things I haven’t felt in ages.

Things I didn’t like feeling.

And it was all happening again because of a man by the name of Wu Yi Fan.

None of it was real so why did I have to hold so many expectations?

Why did I expect things to work out? Why did I expect us to work out?

We didn’t get married because we loved each other.

I didn’t get the proper proposal every woman dreamed of experiencing.

I didn’t even have a choice really.

I was just convenient at the time.

Pulling my knees into my chest, I hugged them tightly and placed my chin on top. Huang Xinlei, you idiot.

Why are you upset over things like this anyways? It’s your own fault.

You shouldn’t have opened up to him.

You shouldn’t have allowed him to open up to you either.

You should have just stayed away.

You shouldn’t have gotten accustomed to any of this.

Accustomed to his friends.

Accustomed to this lifestyle.

Accustomed to his presence.

This marriage was supposed to be strictly business but somewhere along the way, that all changed.

I changed.

I wasn’t supposed to but I guess it just happened unexpectedly.

I don’t know how long it’s been since I got home but as I peered outside, all I could see was the dark sky belonging to night hanging in the air.

I told Tao to go back to school since they had a curfew over there and although he refused at first, wanting to spend the night with me, he eventually caved in once I assured him I wouldn’t do anything stupid.

He told me to call him before I went to bed and I promised him I would.

And as for Kris? I had no idea where he was since I haven’t left the room.

I’ve been sitting here for some time now, just thinking and reflecting on my life decisions.

This marriage with him being one of them.

I wanted to say I regretted the choice I made. That I was better off taking the second option he had given to me but if I did, I would just be lying to myself.  

Because after the time we’ve spent together (although it hasn’t been long) I’ve learned how blissful life can be with someone by your side taking care of you.

How nice it could be when you didn’t have to stress over bills and food every single second of your life.

But now the clock has struck twelve and it’s time for this Cinderella to return to her own life.

It’s time for her beautiful gown to transform back into dirty rags.

It’s time for her stunning glass heels to turn into torn slippers.

It’s time for her to go back to slaving away in order to survive.

It’s time for her to leave her Prince Charming and everything he had to offer behind.

I was never a fan of fairytales because I knew in life, there was no such thing as a happily ever after.

How foolish of me to think I could have found mine with him.

Because