A bitter taste filled my mouth when I tried to swallow a big pill I found in the medicine chest. When it got stuck in my throat, I quickly opened a bottle with water and took a few gulps to get rid of the taste and the pill. I hated taking medicines, especially tablets because I couldn’t actually swallow them without having problems. But the headache I woke up with was unbearable and I had to do something before I’d lose my mind. Taking the half empty glass with me, I went to the living room to lay on the sofa. Somehow spending time in my room seemed like a bad idea, probably because everything there reminded me of yesterday’s conversation with Baekhyun. And now I was willing to do anything, just to erase it from my head as soon as possible.

But after ten hours of hearing his name in my mind and seeing his face everytime I closed my eyes, I finally understood that’s mostly impossible.

Because of him I couldn’t sleep and I skipped today’s classes. I wouldn’t be able to focus anyway so going there was kind of pointless. Besides, people from our school still hate me and today I didn’t feel as strong and brave as yesterday to ignore their rude comments. Crying in front of everyone was the last thing I wanted to happen so without pangs of conscience I stayed home. Fortunately my father already had to return to his work so I didn’t have to think about excuses to skip school today.

I sat on my sofa, grabbed the nearest pillow to hug it and burry my face in it. The second I closed my eyes, Baekhyun’s  face and words from yesterday appeared in my head. I winced unconsciously hearing his request in my ears again and again, just like broken record. The fact that I hung up right away and didn’t give him proper answer was making the whole situation even worse.

Why did I do it in the first place? I was scared and speechless, that’s sure, because it was the first time I had to face situation like this. I didn’t know that break ups were so hard and painful, even the fake ones. But more than this, I didn’t want to give him an answer – not yet. Deep inside I knew exactly why I pressed the red button on my cellphone as soon as he asked me to end our fake relationship. I didn’t want to let him go. Being near him was making me happy and I wanted to hold onto this feeling of happiness forever, even if I knew how wrong it was.

I exhaled with loud whistle and lifted my head to look at the ceiling. The heavy weight I felt in my chest and pulsation in my head was making it hard for me to breath. I smiled bitterly to myself realizing one thing – the whole time I was just hoping that if we’d stay together longer, we will end up as a couple. The real one, built on true attraction and love, not lies we both created. Maybe that’s why I was so desperate to avoid the answer for Baekhyun’s request.

But apparently Baekhyun didn’t think the same. Too bad I realized it after my red light was completely switched off.

This was just a play, a fake relationship with someone who was willing to help me and I was too blind to acknowledge it. I can’t blame Baekhyun, it was only my fault to get attached to him so much. He’d never said there’s something more between us and the possibility to be together with me never crossed his mind – I was sure about it. Now the only thing I could do was to say a proper goodbye. The sooner the better, right? The problem is, I had no idea what to do next and the thought of meeting Baekhyun face to face was making me sick to my stomach.

How people actually break up with someone? I wasn’t even in a proper relationship so maybe I shouldn’t bother to say it’s over between us? Maybe Baekhyun didn’t even care and I was the only one who was thinking about it too much. Damn, how I hate myself for being so miserable right now.

I pinched the bridge of my nose when suddenly a loud doorbell rang in my ears, making the headache even worse than before. I didn’t bother to stand up from the sofa and open the door. Dealing with someone when I felt like a zombie was the last thing I wanted to do now but the stranger waiting outside wasn’t giving up. The noise was being more and more unbearable with every second. Someone was really desperate to see me and after one minute of knocking sounds I stood up, cursing under my nose and went to see who it was. I opened the door with frustration and anger plastered on my face but soon my expression changed to the shocked one. How surprised I was to see Ga In standing outside with bunch of books in her hands.

“Hi” She sent me an apologetic smile and I tried to smile as well, hearing the discomfort in her voice. If I remember correctly, it was her first time visiting me in my house and somehow I hoped it’ll be the last one. Having her here seemed odd because it’s Ga In – we’ve never been close enough to meet after school and till today I was sure it won’t change. But now I had here standing in front of my door, like it was normal to visit me at home. She was acting strange yesterday but I’ve never expected her to do this.

“What’s up?” I finally forced to say something after a few seconds of silence between us. I tried to sound as natural and happy as possible and surprisingly I did a good job because the awkward smile disappeared from her lips and she became less tense – at least in my eyes. I made one step back, giving her space to enter my house. “Come in.”

“You weren’t at school today.” She pointed the obvious, slowly going inside and looking around with curiosity. I closed the door and followed her, trying to figure out what was the best answer in this situation. Ga In didn’t gave me much time to think and when she suddenly turned to look at me, I faked a cough and smiled sheepishly at her. I wasn’t going to tell her the truth, not when even I wasn’t sure what was going on.

“I’m just a little sick.” I put my hand on forehead “I feel like my fever is coming back again.”

“I see.” She nodded, acknowledging my words and suddenly I felt horrible to lie to her. She wasn’t behaving like Ga In I knew but it was so wrong to just get rid of her as soon as possible when she came all the way here. When I was about to offer her a drink, she took a deep breath and exhaled loudly, like some heavy burden fell off her shoulders. Her lips curled in a small smile when she looked at me again. “I thought it’s because of the rumors in our school. Somehow I’m really glad it’s just a cold.”

I raised my eyebrow with question. Why did I have a feeling that something was wrong with her?

“Can I actually ask you something?” Ga In blinked few times after hearing my question and without waiting for her answer I decided to continue. “Why? Why did you change so much?”

“What do you mean?”

I shook my head, trying to gather my thoughts and say everything I wanted to, without being too harsh. Now it was my turn to take deep breath but I didn’t feel better after this “I mean… You’ve never actually cared about me, not to that point. Now you ask if I’m feeling good, you visit me in my house, you take care of me at school when everyone wants to kill me… That’s just…” I stopped, trying to calm myself when my voice started shaking. I bit my bottom lip, figuring out what to say next but Ga In took the initiative.

“I’m sorry.” She stated calmly, but I still could see how much she had to force herself to apologize. That made me even more confused but she noticed it right away and continued to speak. “Few days ago Baekhyun and I had a small conversation.”

I flinched when she mentioned Baekhyun’s name. Was it possible that he told her the truth – that our relationship was fake and we were just pretending the whole time? But then, she’d be furious after discovering it and probably visiting me here would be the last thing she’d be up to, right? I furrowed my eyebrows, trying to figure out what they were talking about but nothing came to my mind.

“About what?” I said, hoping that I didn’t sound too desperate to know. Ga In ran a hand through her hair before speaking again, like she just needed more time to think about the proper answer. She then fixed her eyes on me and I gulped unconsciously.

“He helped me to realize how wrong I treated you before.” She sat on the couch and second later I found myself sitting next to her, listening with focus to her every word. She took a deep breath again before speaking “You know, I’ve never thought that you felt bad in our company. Why didn’t you tell us anything? I know that I’m also at fault here but I can’t change myself if you won’t say that something is wrong with the way I act or treat you. I’m not that good with people, you know?”

I was speechless. The only thing I could do was staring at her with disbelief and shock. I couldn’t even tell what was more surprising – the fact that she wanted to change for me or that Baekhyun was the one who told her how bad she was to me.  

“Wait…” I finally snapped from the shock and Ga In looked at me with scared expression on her face, probably because my voice was too firm and harsh. I leaned forward to get closer to her. “What Baekhyun actually said to you?”

She smiled a little and tapped my shoulder “It will be my little secret.”

“No, seriously…” I groaned closing my eyes with disappointment and second later her quiet chuckle reached my ears. I glanced at her again but she just stuck