Pains of a Memory

The Thing Is, I Think I Love Him

            Kiseop was at work at the label he danced for. There was a new dance that he and his team were learning for an upcoming singer. Kiseop hated working with rookies because they would always brag about how they were so excited about debuting. It really killed him to hear them talk about it so much. Then he also hated the singers who have been in the business for years because they never showed up and if they have a bad performance it was usually blamed on Kiseop and his team.

            During one break Kiseop walked over to his phone and picked it up. He was about to turn it on when one of his fellow dancers came up to him. “Kiseop, I know that we have to work with different people but can’t we just request to never work with rookies ever again?’ His fellow dancer asked.

            Kiseop cracked a smile. “You and I both know that we will never be able to choose who we work with. We have to just go with whatever we get.” He replied.

            “I know. I’m going to step outside for a bit. I need to get out of this room. The sight of the rookie annoys me.” The dancer joked and then walked out.

            Kiseop watched him leave and then turned back to his phone. He turned it on and saw that there was a text from Kevin. It read:

            Hey Kiseoppie, I was wondering if you wanted to see a movie with me tonight. I know that you have dance rehearsals and that you might be tired so if you don’t want to go I’m okay with that. Maybe we could just hang out.

            Kiseop smiled and started to reply to the text.

            I would love to hang out with you tonight Kev. I think that if we went to a movie that I would basically pass out. Maybe we can meet at my place tonight and then go out for dinner. Does that sound good?

            Kiseop sent the message and then waited. It really didn’t take Kevin long to reply at all.

            I think that sounds good. I’ll see you at 6.

            Kiseop closed the text and then put away his phone. He now had a huge smile on his face. He had forgotten about all the frustration of the new rookie and started to call over his whole team. He talked to them about how they just needed to get through this time and then it would be all over.

            All of the guys he danced with really respected him. There was no one that didn’t respect Kiseop. To them he was the nicest and wisest of them all. They looked up to him so when he was having that hard time after Aj left they tried as hard as they could to keep his mind off of it. They really were like his second family.

            Seeing Kiseop so happy most of the guys knew that there was someone that he met. They knew that he was gay and that it was hard to find someone else. So when they saw him smile again they were so happy. They never thought that they would see that from him ever again. Of course they wondered who it was but they were happy to see Kiseop that happy once more.

 

<3<3<3

 

            When his dance rehearsal was done he packed all his things as quickly as possible and headed out of the building. He ran to his car and got in as quickly as he could. He pulled out of his parking space and drove off back to his apartment.

            When he got home he ran straight for the bathroom and took a shower. While he was in there he let the water just fall down on his skin. It felt refreshing to his muscles since he had a full day of dance. All he could think about was how he usually didn’t stress this much about a date since Aj left. He had already gone on several dates with Kevin but this one in particular was really making him feel a little stressed out. Just as every date with Aj had.

            After taking the long shower Kiseop got out of the bathroom and noticed that clock. It was five and he still hadn’t chosen what he was going to wear yet. With only a towel wrapped around his waist he walked over to his closet and started to go through it.

            Kiseop found a nice button up blue shirt with black pants. He put them on and then looked in the mirror. He felt as if something was missing. Then he looked down at his neck. He touched his collar and then let out a long sigh. He told himself that he was not going to wear another tie until Aj came back. So he just made do with what he had now.

            The thing about Kevin was that he was always late. Kiseop was always on time but no matter what Kevin was always late. So, Kiseop walked over to his closet again. He dug through all his clothes and then he finally found the tie that Aj had given him. He observed it for a long time. He squeezed it and held it close to his heart.

            “Aj, I think I have to let you go. I’m sorry and I love you.” Kiseop said and then put on the tie. He had to remember the exact steps that Aj had told him. It made his heart hurt but it was the only way that he could remember.

            Once Kiseop had the tie on the doorbell rang. He got up immediately and walked over to his door. He opened it and saw Kevin’s smiling face. “Hey Kevin come on in.” He gestured.

            Kevin walked in and looked around. He then turned back to look at Kiseop and noticed that he was wearing really nice clothes. “Were we going out someplace nice?” He asked.

            Kiseop shook his head. “We don’t have to if you don’t want to.” He replied.

            Kevin sighed. “I feel so underdressed now.” Kevin mum bled to himself.

            Kiseop sighed and then picked up his phone he started to dial a number and put it up to his ear. Kevin watched him and started to walk over closer to him. “Hi I would like to order take out. Yes, if you could deliver that would be great. I’ll have two dinner plates. Thank you bye.” Kiseop said and then hung up.

            Kevin smiled and put his arms around Kiseop. “You didn’t have to do that for me. We could have gone out.” He said.

            Kiseop smiled but shook his head. “No it’s okay. Besides I kind of wanted to stay home anyway. Let me go change into something more comfortable.” He said and then left to go into his room to change.

            Kevin was left in the living room alone while Kiseop was changing. He walked over to the wall and saw a bunch of pictures. There were a lot of pictures of Kiseop and his family. As Kevin went down the wall there were more pictures of Kiseop except he was with performers. Kevin found that he had worked with a lot of stars. He almost felt envious of some of the people that he worked with. But once he came to the very end he noticed a picture of Kiseop with another man. Kevin couldn’t recognize him at all. It was a boy a little taller than Kiseop with dark skin and brown hair. Since he didn’t look like a relative or a performer Kevin came to the conclusion that this was Kiseop’s former boyfriend.

            Kevin picked up the picture and saw how happy Kiseop was. For some reason Kevin started to remember his time with Eli. His heart started to hurt because of the pain that was caused in the relationship. He hated Eli. He hated him so much. But at the same time he still thought about him. He knew that he had to get over him now. He was with Kiseop and he was happy with him. He had to learn to leave everything in the past.

            Kiseop changed his clothes into something more casual and then put away the other clothes that he was wearing earlier. He put away his pants and his shirt but he couldn’t put away the tie. Not just yet. He sat down on the bed and held the tie in his hands.

            “Goodbye Aj.” He said and then put the tie in a drawer that he never really opened. He had just put the past behind him.

            Kiseop walked out of his room and sat next to Kevin who was now sitting on the couch. Kevin put his head on Kiseop’s shoulder and let out a sigh. Kiseop felt as if something was wrong.

            “Are you okay Kevin?” Kiseop asked.

            “Yeah, I just have had a hard day. I worked way too hard.” Kevin replied.

            “Oh yeah. I forgot that you had to go to both of your jobs today. Was the venue packed though? I’m sure that a lot of people went to hear your angelic voice.” Kiseop said seductively.

            Kevin sighed and looked Kiseop in the eyes. “Kiseop, what was your old boyfriend like?” He asked.

            Kiseop’s eyes grew wide. Why was Kevin asking about Aj now? “Why do you want to know that?” He asked.

            “I don’t know. I was just wondering what he was like. Plus I want to know why he would leave a great guy like you behind.” Kevin explained.

            Kiseop smiled at that. “I’ll tell you about Aj if you tell me about Eli afterwards.” He reasoned with him.

            Kevin hesitated but he nodded. “Fine that’s a deal. So, what was Aj like?” He asked.

            “Well, he was kind and gentle. Whenever he came to pick me up he would always be five minutes early. He was extremely romantic and there was nothing that he wouldn’t do for me.” Kiseop explained. But then he felt his heart starting to hurt.

            “Why did he stop calling you after he left?” Kevin asked.

            Kiseop shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know. At first I thought that it was just because he was busy studying but now I don’t know. Even on weekends he would call or text me at first but then they just stopped. I was lucky to get a text at least saying hi once a week. Then once a month. After that, nothing.” Kiseop said.

            Kevin saw how upset Kiseop was. He grabbed Kiseop’s hand and held it. “I’m sorry Kiseop. What happened to you wasn’t fair and I’m so sorry that it even happened.” He explained.

            Kiseop took in a deep breath and looked at Kevin. “Thanks. But now it’s your turn. What was Eli like?” He asked.

            Kevin looked forward. “Eli was the first guy that I had ever liked. In high school he was always a ladies man. Everyone loved him and his charm.  Then my second year of college I admitted my feelings towards him and then we got together. We had been together for four years exactly. But of course there was a big problem in our relationship that I overlooked a few times.” He explained. He too was fighting back tears.

            “How many times did he cheat?” Kiseop asked.

            Kevin was still trying to hold back some tears. “Three times. And the third time I found out on our four year anniversary. I confronted him about it and he lied right to my face. He lied to my face about cheating on me. So that gave me even more motive to leave. He was the first man I loved.” He said. But unlike Kiseop he couldn’t fight his tears anymore. He was just crying and crying.

            Seeing this made Kiseop’s heart hurt. He wrapped his arms around Kevin and kissed the top of his head. He started to shush Kevin while rocking him a little bit. “I’m here for you now Kevin. For you and me these are things of the past and it’s painful when we look back on them. But now we have each other and we know now what it feels like to get hurt. So I promise you that I’ll treat you right. I hope that you feel the same way.” Kiseop explained.

            Kevin stopped crying and started to breath. “I’m here for you Kiseop. I won’t hurt you either.” Kevin said with a choppy voice.

            The two held each other in their arms for a little while longer. Kiseop shifted away and moved Kevin’s chin up to face him. They stared into each other’s eyes for around five seconds until Kiseop leaned in for a kiss.

            Kiseop planted a soft kiss on Kevin’s lips and pulled away. But after that little one they both wanted more. They were kissing each other passionately. Kiseop was trying to get a little more out of Kevin since they were both in such an emotional state.

            Just as Kevin was starting to relax a little the doorbell rang. This irritated Kiseop. He stopped kissing Kevin and walked over to the door. He opened it and there was the delivery man with their meal.

            “That’ll be ten dollars sir.” The delivery man said.

            Kiseop walked to the side table by the door where he put his wallet. He pulled out a few bills and handed it to the delivery man. They exchanged the items and then the delivery man left. Kiseop closed the door and then placed the food on the island in the kitchen.

            “Alright Kevin the food is here.” Kiseop said.

            Kevin got off of the couch and walked over to where Kiseop was. He wrapped his arms around Kiseop’s waist from the side. Kiseop put an arm around Kevin’s shoulder and gave him a kiss on his temple.

            “I’ll get you something to drink. What do you want?” Kiseop asked.

            “I’ll have some red wine.” Kevin said.

            Kiseop nodded and went over to the counter to open a bottle of red wine. Kevin walked over to one of the cabinets to grab some plates to plate the food that they had just received. Kiseop filled two glasses of red wine and handed one to Kevin. They hit their glasses together and then took a drink.

            “Thanks for the dinner Kiseop. I really appreciate it.” Kevin said.

            “It’s no problem. I’m just glad that we got to see each other today.” Kiseop replied.

            “I know. But I should probably eat and go. My mom dropped me off since I’m saving up to get my own car.” Kevin explained.

            Kiseop took one more sip and then put his glass down. “Kevin, how about you stay the night.” He said.

            Kevin’s eyes grew wide. “Oh, I couldn’t stay. I have work tomorrow and so do you and I just don’t want to be a bother.” He explained.

            Kiseop wrapped his arms around Kevin’s waist and pulled him close. “You won’t be a bother and you can stay in the guest room if you want. There is a store down the street so you can go there to buy some clothes. Or tomorrow before you go to work I could drop you off at home to get clothes and then get you to work. I’m fine with either one.” Kiseop explained.

            Kevin was starting to get a little shy. “I, I guess I could go get some clothes at the store down the street. Plus that means my mom can just get to bed instead of staying up.” He explained.

            “Exactly so now we can eat and then we can go shopping.” Kiseop said. He let Kevin go and started making him a plate.

            Once Kiseop made the plate Kevin took it and sat down. It was going to be the first night staying over at Kiseop’s apartment. He didn’t know what was going to happen. But he knew that he wanted to stay with Kiseop for as long as possible.

 

<3<3<3

 

            The two ate their dinner and talked. After a little while they headed to the store and bought Kevin some clothes for the next day. Then they got back to the apartment. Kevin placed his new clothes in the guest room and got ready for bed.

            “Hey Kiseop I’m going to bed.” Kevin said as he walked into Kiseop’s room.

            Kiseop was already laying in bed about to fall asleep. “Hey Kevin come here for a second.” He said in a tired voice.

            Kevin walked over to the side of Kiseop’s bed. “Is something wrong Kiseop?” Kevin asked.

            Kiseop grabbed Kevin’s arm and pulled him onto the bed. Kevin was in a lot of shock because of this and his heart started pumping. He had no idea what was going on. Kiseop held him close in the bed and covered Kevin with blankets.

            “I love you Kevin.” Kiseop whispered in his ear.

            Kevin looked at Kiseop and smiled. “I love you Kiseop.” He replied and then adjusted himself to where he was snuggling against Kiseop’s chest. Then the two fell asleep quickly in each other’s arms. The two hearts were beating as one that night with the equal love that they had for each other.

 

A/N: Okay I really like this chapter a lot. Vinseop is not my favorite to be honest but I did really like this chapter. Don't get me wrong I like Vinseop but obviously it's not my favorite couple. Ahem ahem ;) Anyway Soohoon chapter next!! All I'm going to say is that it's going to be a little bit of a cliff hanger. Thank you guys for reading and please leave some comments. I love reading them :)

 

IMPORTANT: One of the chapters is going to go the way that you vote it. So please answer this:

If something tragic were to happen should it happen to:

Hoon's Uncle or Soohyun's dad (Will appear soon and let me just say he ain't gonna be happy)

Please leave a vote in the comments because it really will all depend on what you choose.

 

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KaraBear
Don't forget to vote on Ch. 8 cause the story is going to depend strictly to what you choose.

Comments

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Icebook231
#1
Chapter 31: i was pleasantly surprised to see this was updated!! Thank you so much for coming back and finishing it! It was a great ending to a great story!
-Anita
#2
Chapter 31: Holy , there's an update. I didn't see that one coming :3

But yeah! It's nice that there's finally some closure to this story. (Even though I forgot about 90% of what's happened). I'm one of the original cubs, I guess, so think you for adding this final chapter. I still remember reading this story back when I didn't have an account on AFF and skipping all the rated chapters because I was still innocent and young. :') (I was like 13-14). But yeah, this was one of the very first fanfics that I read so thank you for the memories. ^^
dojorockergirl
#3
Chapter 31: I never thought that I would see this end!! Such a a beautiful and great story! ♡♡♡♡ :')
dojorockergirl
#4
Chapter 30: I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT THE NEXT ONE WILL BE THE LAST! O.O I've been with and reading this story for so many years that it just feels weird that I'll no longer be able to see updates from this after the next one
kwangmin_ah
#5
Chapter 25: Vinseop part was so great and then was ruined by 2seop again and elvin is just so sad :(
dojorockergirl
#6
Chapter 30: I would love to participate author-shii :D
Choivita97 #7
i'd participate xp
AsianNoodles
#8
Chapter 29: wow I'd love to participate for fun :)
NicoleMikiAddison #9
Chapter 28: Omg this is the best story I have ever read, it's awesome!! *•* I don't want it to end TT.TT
kiseop_lover7 #10
Chapter 28: T.T it was soo beautiful and amazing *happytears*
I don't want this story to end T.T