Keep the Chanyeol away.

Of Dragons, Pandas, and Insanity.

“Well hello Mr. Crab I see you’ve brought your family today.” Chen coos at the tiny little crustacean which scuttles away in absolute fear, probably because Chen’s been harassing its home for the past five minutes. He’s successfully managed to accidentally crush said Crab’s family when he sat on them, but he gave them a solemn funeral that lasted half a minute, so he figured it was ok.

 

Mr. Crab definitely doesn’t think so, as he threateningly clacks his tiny claws at the unknowing five-year-old.

 

Kris, who’s been silently observing from afar, decides to step in before Chen gets hurt or something. That kid doesn’t know how to back down sometimes.

 

Careful not to get his white bottoms dirty, he strides over the mudflat and easily picks Chen up from his crouching position. Thankfully, he was sensible enough to take off his shoes before he waded into the grey mud.

 

Sighing, Kris carries him away from the small, angry clickety-clackety crab over to a mini pond surrounded by dry rocks for sitting on. Tao, Luhan, and Lay are already gathered there, gazing intently into the murky puddle. Actually, it’s just Tao and Lay; Luhan’s turned away to the side to draw patterns in the mud instead.

 

“Mud pile!” Chen suddenly screams from Kris’ arms as he twists deftly and lands on the ground on all fours, like a cat. The pliant slush absorbs most of the impact and leaves Chen unscathed. It doesn’t make a really good springboard though, as he tries to jump and it sticks on to his legs, making him fall drastically short of his closest target, Lay. His anticlimactic screech is brought abruptly to an end when he lands, face first, into the soil.

 

Kris cringes for his kid and immediately wades over to help him up. His own giraffe-like legs get stuck too, though, and he’s forced onto his knees.

 

His white bottoms are, in short, no longer white.

 

“Chen! Lay, help your brother!” Kris struggles to get his leg out without touching anything remotely close to the ground. Sadly for him, the closest, un-muddy, stable thing is a rock just out of the reach of even his long arms.

 

Lay takes one look at Chen, who has somehow managed to extract his face from the mud while grinning widely, one look at his completely mud-covered body, and screams. Dramatically. With spastic arm movements and flailing and everything. He even falls off his rock into the mud, for good measure.

 

“Yay mud pile!” Chen cheers enthusiastically as he wrenches his arms finally free from the mud, flinging large, dirty droplets everywhere.

 

Tao adds his own piercing scream to the mix as Chen half-paddles over to him and clamps a mucky hand around his arm and drags him down.

 

Chen also grabs Luhan, for good measure. Nothing’s fun without the manly princess.

 

“Chen, wait!” Kris desperately tugs his limbs free from the ground as visions of loads after loads of muddy laundry fill his mind. He has to use his large hands to free himself (sadly), but then there’s another problem.

 

Chanyeol comes running over with a gigantic grin set firmly on his face and flops down onto all of Chen, Tao, Lay, and Luhan. The action successfully squishes all of them into the mud, half-burying their torsos, in fact.

 

“Yay mud pile!”

 

Kris groans because Chanyeol is infinitely hard to deal with and he’s partly handicapped right now with soiled hands and only one leg out of the mud.

 

Out of the corner of his eye, he finally sees Suho shepherding the rest of the kids over the ground, heading straight for them. As usual, he's carrying Kyungsoo, and taking his own sweet time to cross the short distance betweent them, because he just likes to watch Kris suffer.

 

“Help me up.” Kris mumbles as he sticks out a muddy hand for Suho as the other comes within grabbing distance. One way or another, as tiny, helpful hands push at his non-existent and send him upwards, he stands. Suho’s not much of a help, with Kyungsoo clinging to one arm like a baby koala.

 

“Gee, thanks.” Kris says sourly as he twists to look at his and back, which are now printed with tiny little brown-grey handprints all the way up to his mid-back.

 

A chorus of high-pitched ‘you’re welcome’s fill the air as the crowd of children slowly disperse to wherever they want to be in the large mudflat that will be their playground for the next few hours.

************

This is a sort of two/three part thing, yeah. It's gonna be pretty long because it has both k & m, so I hope you won't be bored or anything ^__^

Oh yeah, I was imagining the mudflat to be like the one BAP went to in Killing Camp, or the one in the episode of Running Man DBSK starred in. Kinda weird, but yeah.

Preview:

"Kyungsoo's lower lip wubbers as Kai unearths a snail from its home and shoves it down Chen's shirt with too much glee to be normal."

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taoschlong
Merry Christmas guys! Sorry I haven't been updating lately but I'll try to get a chapter up by next week I hope >

Comments

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ephemeral24
2376 streak #1
Chapter 35: awww... this has got to be my fave chapter! HUHUHU it's so sweet!
i wanna thank you for this creation! it would be greedy to ask for more now, and i understand... but really, thank you for this! such a pleasure to read! :)
ephemeral24
2376 streak #2
Chapter 33: Chen is such a devil's spawn but he could be sweet in his own ways too HIHIHI
look at him acting like some sort of sugar/snack fairy and making his siblings feel better... lol
ephemeral24
2376 streak #3
Chapter 31: THIS IS THE CUTEST!!! HUHUHU
THIS IS SO SWEET AND PURE!!!
ephemeral24
2376 streak #4
Chapter 30: OF COURSE IT'S A MESS! HAHAHAHAHA

"DADDY CAN I SEE YOUR WEE WEE" HAHAHAHA OMFG CHEN PLEASE! stop with your obsession on wee wees!

EVERYONE DOING RANDOM STUFF IN THE BATHROOM THO! HAHAHAHAHA THESE KIDS ISTG! such a workout for the parents HAHAHAHA
ephemeral24
2376 streak #5
Chapter 29: Chen is the most extra baby ever! HAHAHAHAHA
other babies volunteering to bathe with Tao tho... oh it's gonna be a mess! HAHAHAHAHAHA
ephemeral24
2376 streak #6
Chapter 28: and Kris's stupidity continues! lol
to be fair, he was in panic and thay have A LOT of kids
ephemeral24
2376 streak #7
Chapter 26: "Daddy stupid" HAHAHAHA
i certainly hope their bed is big enough to accomodate all kids who come to their bed whenever they have nightmares! but i absolutely love this! kids going to their parents is common in family aus, but idc! i love them all! HAHAHAHA
ephemeral24
2376 streak #8
Chapter 23: it was very sweet of the kids to think of baking a cake for Xiu!!! while that could lead to absolute disaster since the kids don't know what they're doing, the dropped eggs just a start of it... at least, it's the thought that counts! HAHAHAHAHAHA

but lo and behold the real twist, it wasn't even Xiu's birthday yet! LMAO HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
ephemeral24
2376 streak #9
Chapter 9: CHEN OMFG! HAHAHAHAHAHA
this was so funny coz why is Chen such a spawn of the devil going yhe whole mile in being naughty just so Kris would have white hair! HAHAHAHA OMFG

and then it becomes a bigger issue coz turns out, as much as Chen is being naughty to give Kris white hair, Tao is doing his best to be a good boy to preserve Kris's black hair! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA KIDS!!! OH IF ONLY IT REALLY WORKS THAT WAY! HAHAHAHAHAHA

but in the end, when both Chen and Tao were sad coz they thought Kris was gone! oh all the guilt that must've been brewing in Chen's mind! HIHIHI don't you worry boys! Appa Kris loves you too much! HIHIHI
ephemeral24
2376 streak #10
Chapter 7: i just fall in love with this family au more and more as i go thru each chapter... things that happen in the family are equal parts disastrous and sweet! how is that possible? HUHUHU

Yeol's small thank you to hia fathers at the end did it for me! HUHUHU i so love it!