Because Kris can have fun too.

Of Dragons, Pandas, and Insanity.
[set in the universe where Kris and Suho live apart]
gege - older brother
 

“Right, so.” Kris presses the faded red button on the remote of the air-conditioner and the machine whirrs into life. “So, you’ll all stay here, while I go buy stuff. Don’t open the door, don’t go into the kitchen, and don’t mess the place up.” He chucks the remote onto the topmost shelf and adjusts his cap once more. “Does anyone want anything?” He twists open the doorknob and takes a step outside.

 

“Nope, nuh-uh. Nothing. Bye-bye!” Luhan hastily elbows the back of Kris’s knees to make him exit faster. “We’ll be good.”

 

Kris lingers for a moment, eyebrows knitting together in a frown. The rest of his kids look up innocently at him as Luhan pokes and jabs at his legs in a poor attempt to get him to move.

 

“We’ll be good!” Luhan repeats in exasperation. “We’ll be really, really good!” He leans his full weight against Kris’s giraffe legs.

 

Kris sighs and finally shifts, causing Luhan to topple and nearly fall. “Alright, but if I come back and something’s off…”

 

“Yes, yes, we know, right guys?”

 

Frantic nodding ensues all around and continues until Kris finally and slowly leaves the room, nonetheless suspicious of them but choosing to quietly accept whatever chaos they would inevitably create.

 

As soon as the lock turns in the door and the gate clangs shut, complete madness explodes from (nearly) all five kids. Even Xiumin.

 

Yes, even Xiumin. Especially Xiumin.

 

“Let’s lock Chenzi out!” Xiumin cries and pokes Chen all around his midriff with the blunt end of a purple crayon. It leaves faint streaks on Chen’s yellow shirt and he opens his mouth to protest in disbelief. He’s cut off by an enthusiastic Luhan, instead.

 

“Yeah!” Luhan follows Xiumin’s lead and picks up a threatening-looking Ms. Zonfernkberg to whack Chen with. “Lock Chenzi out!”

 

“Yeah!”

 

“Bye Chenzi!”

 

“No! Appa’s gonna scold us!” Tao yells defiantly. He grabs Chen’s left arm in a tight grip and anchors him firmly to the ground. He pouts at his elder brothers with a firm air that he’s not gonna let Chen go anytime soon.

 

There’s a pause, where Luhan looks at Xiumin with wide eyes and Tao looks up at them with pleading ones and Chen’s just trying to get Tao’s grubby fingers off himself, because who knows when he washed them, good lord they’re disgusting.

 

Xiumin shrugs.

 

“Lock Tao and Chenzi out!” He cries as he raises his purple crayon high up into the air. “Lock them out!” He repeats loudly, in case Lay, who’s calmly looking at a picture book in the far corner, doesn’t hear him.

 

Luhan soon follows, like a mindless droid.

 

“Lock them out!” A lumpy Ms. Zonfernkberg goes up into the air and comes down with not as much force as Luhan had intended, because he can’t bear to hurt Tao and Chen’s starting to glare at him with scary-looking eyes.

 

Chen can be quite scary if he wants to.

 

It bounces off Tao’s head with a soft ‘boop’, then flops to the floor. Truthfully, it doesn’t really hurt, but hey, why not make life difficult for everyone and get the elders into trouble?

 

“Lulu gege’s a meanie! I don’t like gege anymore!” Tao wails and throws Ms. Zonfernkberg at a shocked Luhan. It loses momentum just before it reaches him, dropping to the carpet accompanied by a dismayed outburst from Tao.

 

“No! Hit Lulu gege! Hit Lulu gege!” He kicks out at Ms. Zonfernkberg in frustration. Chen takes the chance when Tao’s grip goes slack to yank his arm away from the youngest.

 

In the midst of chaos, Xiumin spots his chance.

 

“Lock Chenzi out!” He shrieks once again and has Chen in a full-bodied bear-hug before the other has a chance to even breathe. They totter to the door behind unsteadily as Chen fights to get Xiumin off his upper body, but Xiumin latches on like a koala, minus the claws.

 

“Lock Min and Chen out!” Luhan gasps as he dashes away from Tao, who’s still sniffling a little and feeling a little sorry for himself. In less than five seconds, he jumps to open the door, kicks it open, pushes Xiumin and Chen out of the room, and finally slams the door shut with a triumphant grin.

 

“Tao-Tao, I locked Minnie and Chenzi out!” Luhan hugs Tao around his tummy and attempts to lift him up, but he’s short, and Tao’s tall for his age, so Tao just ends up half-standing. Luhan pouts when he sees Tao’s black grumpy face staring at him like he’s caused a nation-wide epidemic.

 

“Taozi~” He whines. “I locked them out! Lay, I locked them out!” He looks over to Lay, but he’s too engrossed in his book to care.

 

Tao grumbles something to keep Luhan happy for the time being and squirms in a failed attempt to get his gege to let him go.

 

Luhan’s just about to squish their cheeks together, regardless of the frantic knocking at the door, because Tao’s so damn squishy, when keys jangle in the door a little further away.

 

“I’m home!” Kris’s deep voice rings throughout the house, though slightly muffled, and successfully shocks Luhan enough so much that he nearly drops Tao.

 

Luhan goes white and his first instinct is to dive into a pile of beanbags nearby. There’s a pause outside where Kris stares at Xiumin and Chen in disbelief as they desperately try to peer through the tiny space under the door.

 

Kris looks like he’s about to explode for a second, then, he sighs, like a deflated balloon, because he’s expected something like this.

 

“Guys.” He puts the groceries onto the table and chucks his keys somewhere beside it. “What happened?”

 

“Luhannie locked us out.” Xiumin replies calmly as he digs a finger into the space. “We were gonna lock Chenzi out but then it was Chenzi and Tao and now we’re locked out.”

 

Kris hefts his two kids up into his arms a little hastily. “How about we lock Luhan out, to show him how it feels?” He grins mischievously to the trouble makers of the gang.

 

And their delighted expressions are all he needs.

************

hay hay how y'all doin

ermahgerd I'm so sorray for abandoning this for like a month ._. gah I have no motivation to finish everything gawd my exams are coming in less than a week. 

Thanks for subscribing and commenting! I don't usually respond to all comments cause I'm awkz but I read every single one ^___^ So...uh...keep 'em coming :D

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taoschlong
Merry Christmas guys! Sorry I haven't been updating lately but I'll try to get a chapter up by next week I hope >

Comments

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ephemeral24
2376 streak #1
Chapter 35: awww... this has got to be my fave chapter! HUHUHU it's so sweet!
i wanna thank you for this creation! it would be greedy to ask for more now, and i understand... but really, thank you for this! such a pleasure to read! :)
ephemeral24
2376 streak #2
Chapter 33: Chen is such a devil's spawn but he could be sweet in his own ways too HIHIHI
look at him acting like some sort of sugar/snack fairy and making his siblings feel better... lol
ephemeral24
2376 streak #3
Chapter 31: THIS IS THE CUTEST!!! HUHUHU
THIS IS SO SWEET AND PURE!!!
ephemeral24
2376 streak #4
Chapter 30: OF COURSE IT'S A MESS! HAHAHAHAHA

"DADDY CAN I SEE YOUR WEE WEE" HAHAHAHA OMFG CHEN PLEASE! stop with your obsession on wee wees!

EVERYONE DOING RANDOM STUFF IN THE BATHROOM THO! HAHAHAHAHA THESE KIDS ISTG! such a workout for the parents HAHAHAHA
ephemeral24
2376 streak #5
Chapter 29: Chen is the most extra baby ever! HAHAHAHAHA
other babies volunteering to bathe with Tao tho... oh it's gonna be a mess! HAHAHAHAHAHA
ephemeral24
2376 streak #6
Chapter 28: and Kris's stupidity continues! lol
to be fair, he was in panic and thay have A LOT of kids
ephemeral24
2376 streak #7
Chapter 26: "Daddy stupid" HAHAHAHA
i certainly hope their bed is big enough to accomodate all kids who come to their bed whenever they have nightmares! but i absolutely love this! kids going to their parents is common in family aus, but idc! i love them all! HAHAHAHA
ephemeral24
2376 streak #8
Chapter 23: it was very sweet of the kids to think of baking a cake for Xiu!!! while that could lead to absolute disaster since the kids don't know what they're doing, the dropped eggs just a start of it... at least, it's the thought that counts! HAHAHAHAHAHA

but lo and behold the real twist, it wasn't even Xiu's birthday yet! LMAO HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
ephemeral24
2376 streak #9
Chapter 9: CHEN OMFG! HAHAHAHAHAHA
this was so funny coz why is Chen such a spawn of the devil going yhe whole mile in being naughty just so Kris would have white hair! HAHAHAHA OMFG

and then it becomes a bigger issue coz turns out, as much as Chen is being naughty to give Kris white hair, Tao is doing his best to be a good boy to preserve Kris's black hair! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA KIDS!!! OH IF ONLY IT REALLY WORKS THAT WAY! HAHAHAHAHAHA

but in the end, when both Chen and Tao were sad coz they thought Kris was gone! oh all the guilt that must've been brewing in Chen's mind! HIHIHI don't you worry boys! Appa Kris loves you too much! HIHIHI
ephemeral24
2376 streak #10
Chapter 7: i just fall in love with this family au more and more as i go thru each chapter... things that happen in the family are equal parts disastrous and sweet! how is that possible? HUHUHU

Yeol's small thank you to hia fathers at the end did it for me! HUHUHU i so love it!