~Requested by kinhkyu~

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Memories are everything. Memories are just like life. Without memories, everything becomes meaningless. The ones who mean the most to you become nothing. What you love and hate is unknown. Everything is taken away without memories. That’s why it's so hard for people to want to forget anything. Nobody wants to forget.

And for those unfortunate ones who do end up having their memories disappear, everything is hard. But not just for them, but also their loved ones.

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Why?

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"Siwon." Kyuhyun called quietly. His husband had returned home, his beautiful husband. Kyuhyun sat on the couch, shaking uncontrollably. Tears were threatening to fall. He felt so stupid and helpless. Why? Kyuhyun could only question himself.

"Yeah?" Siwon replied. Kyuhyun turned to him, giving one of the most helpless looks he had ever worn. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair on him, and it wasn't fair on Siwon. All Kyuhyun wanted was to be the perfect wife for Siwon, he didn't want to do anything else. So why, why must it be like this? Siwon's eyes widened at the younger, shocked slightly. What was going on? Kyuhyun, feeling pathetic, stared into Siwon's eyes and gulped.

"...What's my last name?" Kyuhyun questioned through the killing, suffocating silence. His voice was hitching, shaking. For the last few days, life seemed to become blurry for Kyuhyun. The most simple things had become so... frustrating.

"...Huh?" Siwon uttered, genuinely surprised by the simple question Kyuhyun had asked him. He stared at his lover, Kyuhyun, who was looking as if he were in pain. And he was.

"My last name... What is it?" Kyuhyun asked once more, shaking even more. He was afraid, he needed help.

"Choi?" Siwon asked in an unsure way, Kyuhyun looked to the floor in front of him and turned his head. Siwon approached Kyuhyun, quickly sitting on the couch beside the younger. Siwon put his arm around Kyuhyun, not knowing what was happening but hating the look on his lover's face. Kyuhyun whimpered quietly, leaning his head onto Siwon's shoulder.

"No, my other one." Kyuhyun whispered in a suffocated way, as if he were unable to speak.

"Cho?" Siwon then questioned. Kyuhyun's eyes widened suddenly, tears finally leaving his eyes as he turned to face Siwon, body still pressed close. Kyuhyun's hand gripped Siwon's shirt.

"..." Kyuhyun didn't speak, simply letting the tears leave his eyes.

"Kyuhyun, what's wrong? Why are you crying?" Siwon asked in a concerned tone of voice, rubbing Kyuhyun's back. The younger whimpered once again before speaking once again.

"I can't remember." Kyuhyun muttered quietly, causing Siwon to raise a brow.

"Remember what?"

"Everything."

"..."

"The day we married, the first time I saw you, our friends, our family, our life, even my last name... I can't remember it." Kyuhyun broke down into tears, clinging to his lover. Siwon's eyes widened.

"W-What? Why?" Siwon asked, Kyuhyun shook his head and attempting to stop the tears.

"...I don't even know."

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Truth.

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"Sir." The doctor said. Siwon opened his eyes, looking around the building. It had been a couple hours since Siwon had driven his lover to the hospital after a hysterical breakdown.

"Y-Yes?" Siwon asked with a stutter, quickly jumping to his feet. The doctor gave him an apologetic look, Siwon quickly felt his body tense up. He knew that whatever the doctor was going to say, it wasn't good.

"I'm sorry to say this... but Mr Cho Kyuhyun... He has been diagnosed Alzheimer's disease, a sickness make him forget everything little by little." The doctor explained to Siwon, causing his eyes to widen.

"..." Siwon went silent, stumbling back to his seat. He lowered his head, covering his mouth with his head. It couldn't be. No. Kyuhyun was still young, just a 25 year old male, Siwon's beloved. Most cases of Alzheimer's disease were in people who were in their 50s or 60s.

"Soon, he'll forget you, me, his family, and even himself. After, his vocabulary probably will begin to decrease. Finally, he won't even be able to speak. Then sooner or later, he won't even be able to function properly without assistance, or perhaps even a machine. Death is last." The doctor spoke in a saddened manner.

"..." Siwon bit his lip, attempting to hold back the tears.

"I'm very sorry for your loss."

"...When did this sickness start?" Siwon asked hesitantly, the doctor looked away.

"...Judging on how much he remembers, I can safely say it's been a little more than a couple months. But every person with Alzheimer's disease lose their memories at a different rate. So we can't be sure." The doctor muttered, causing Siwon's eyes to widen once again.

It wasn't fair.

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Apology.

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"...Kyuhyunnie?" Siwon spoke hesitantly, opening the door of the room which Kyuhyun was in. He entered, quickly seeing defeated lover. The moment Kyuhyun turned his head to see Siwon, tears instantly appeared.

"I'm sorry." Kyuhyun said, quickly hiding his face from the other. Siwon gave a look of shock.

"K-Kyuhyun?" Siwon called with a panicked voice, running over to his lover and pulling him into a tight embrace.

"I'm so sorry." Kyuhyun repeated, Siwon couldn't understand.

"Sorry for what? Don't cry."

"I'm sorry for not being able to be there for you. Before, I was never able to do anything for you. Nothing. And now, it's the same. I still can't do anything for you. All I do is cause you trouble. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." Kyuhyun cried, Siwon felt his heart breaking. It wasn't true, Kyuhyun had brought him more than enough.

"...Kyu..." Siwon whispered, holding back the tears.

"The least I could do is try to remember, but I can't. Everything's disappearing. I still can't remember what my last name is, and now I can't even remember yours. I'm sorry Siwon, I'm such an idiot." Kyuhyun continued on. Why did it have to be like this? Siwon shut his eyes tight, holding the other tightly. He hated seeing Kyuhyun in such a way. With a shaking voice, Siwon whispered quietly.

"It's not your fault."

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Time.

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At first, it was alright for Siwon. Kyuhyun was forced to stay in the hospital in the fear that he may forget something vital and have a panic attack. Siwon didn't mind it, everything seemed normal. Quickly, Siwon realised he had to face reality. There were things happening to Kyuhyun which Siwon didn't know about.

"Hi Kyuhyun." Siwon smiled, entering the annoyingly white room. Kyuhyun flashed a smile back, grinning at the sight of his lover. 

"Hi." Kyuhyun replied, Siwon sat down on the chair besides the other.

"Miss me?" Siwon asked, Kyuhyun smiled before suddenly stopping.

"Of course I did. Si... Si..." All of a sudden, Kyuhyun's words stopped. Siwon quickly looked up.

"Hm?" Siwon hummed, Kyuhyun's eyes widened.

"...I can't remember your name." Kyuhyun mumbled, Siwon fell silent. His lover couldn't remember.

"..." Siwon couldn't help but feel shaken.

"What was it again? Siwan? Siwon?" Kyuhyun asked, Siwon felt his chest tense up. He had forgotten for a second that soon, Kyuhyun wouldn't be able to remember anything. 

Siwon just hadn't expected to be affected so seriously.

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Gone. 

Months and months had passed, and Kyuhyun's condition only became worse. His memory was decreasing. Soon after forgetting Siwon's name, Kyuhyun forgot Siwon's identity all together. Kyuhyun couldn't remember who his own family was, who his friends were, and of course his lover. But still, that didn't matter for Siwon. Being a faithful lover, Siwon visited Kyuhyun every single day. 

Rather than the pain of having Kyuhyun not remember him, Siwon found it more painful that every time he visited, there would be a different Kyuhyun to greet him. Sometimes he ended up being cussed out of the room and sometimes, Siwon found Kyuhyun being as sweet as he always was. The strange behaviour of Kyuhyun, changing from mood to mood... somehow, it only increased Siwon's affection, love, loyalty and dependence. Not knowing was the most frightening thing of all. Siwon wanted to be there for Kyuhyun always, no matter how his lover reacted.

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"Kyuhyun-ah." Siwon called, just like every other day. Kyuhyun quickly turned to the elder, giving a sharp yet hesitant glare.

"...Who... Who are you?" Kyuhyun asked, Siwon bit his lip. And like every day, he was forced to introduce himself to his very own lover. Nothing hurt more than to be forgotten.

"I'm Choi Siwon. Your husband." Siwon replied, Kyuhyun's eyes widened.

"...Really...?" Kyuhyun asked, Siwon nodded.

"Yes, really. We're married to each other." Siwon continued on, Kyuhyun shook his head.

"Then how come I can't remember anything...?" Kyuhyun mumbled to himself, Siwon simply stared. He was praying silently that Kyuhyun would be in a good mood.

"..." Siwon allowed Kyuhyun to think.

"Why can't I remember? I don't know what day it is. I don't know where I am. I don't know why I'm here and I don't even know my name! I don't even know who you are! I don't have any memory of who my family is, I'm not even sure if I have one!" Kyuhyun suddenly shouted, bringing both his hands up to his face. The younger was having another panic attack. Siwon gave a pained look, he wanted to help. But he knew he couldn't.

"Kyu-" Siwon was cut off.

"Get out get out get out!!" Kyuhyun screeched angrily, voice filled with confusion and sorrow. Siwon looked down sadly, nodding before exiting the room. It had happened before, this event wasn't strange to him. Siwon knew that if he had tried to stay, it would only become worse. 

Siwon had experienced it firsthand.

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Memories.

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"Kyuhyun-ah." Siwon called, a day later from the last event. And this time, Siwon had a gift with him. Kyuhyun turned with brightened eyes, Siwon felt his heart calm down a bit. It seemed that Kyuhyun was in a good mood. The elder approached silently.

"Ohh, chocolate!" Kyuhyun exclaimed with a somewhat 'aegyo' filled voice. Siwon couldn't help but smile.

"Here, I got these for you." Siwon spoke as he sat down on the chair beside the bed, handing the box of chocolate to Kyuhyun. The younger grinned with his white teeth showing.

"Thanks!~" Kyuhyun thanked, quickly opening the box and plopping a piece of chocolate into his mouth.

"..." Siwon smiled, remaining silent. It wasn't often he was able to stare at his lover in such a peaceful state.

"Who are you anyway?" Kyuhyun then asked, Siwon stared.

"Your husband." Siwon stated, Kyuhyun raised a brow.

"...Really?" Kyuhyun asked, Siwon nodded.

"Yeah." Siwon mumbled.

"...But I can't remember you." Kyuhyun said quietly, Siwon paused. He was waiting to see whether Kyuhyun would start yelling once again.

"..." Siwon's eyes widened when Kyuhyun flashed him an apologetic smile, he wasn't shouting.

"I'm sorry. But to have married a man like you, I must have been lucky." Kyuhyun spoke quietly, Siwon gave a pained smile.

If only Kyuhyun always reacted like that.

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Last.

More months passed by and finally, Kyuhyun wasn't able to speak. He slipped into and out of conscious, passing out during the most bizarre times. Kyuhyun couldn't do anything anymore, and Siwon wasn't allowed help in any way. Soon, as all Siwon could do was watch his lover sleeping in bed. Every day was hell for Siwon, but when the time came for Kyuhyun to leave the world, he wasn't sure whether to feel happy or sad.

Siwon would never forget that day when his lover left.

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Kyuhyun groaned as he rested his head on his pillow, he couldn't remember it anymore. He couldn't remember anything. He couldn't remember what day it was today, he couldn't remember where he was and he couldn't even remember his own name. All Kyuhyun remembered was a man. Tall, beautiful and handsome, but Kyuhyun didn't know who it was. And to be honest, the face was blurred. He couldn't see the face of the tall man in his mind. Kyuhyun's breathing became heavy.

A machine was connected to him, helping him breathe. Siwon stared, wiping the tears away from his eyes. Silently, he called the other's name.

"Kyuhyun." Siwon mumbled, Kyuhyun opened his eyes, not being able to see anything properly.

"...Choi... Siwon...?" Kyuhyun muttered, Siwon's eyes widened. It had been months since he had heard Kyuhyun's voice.

"..." Siwon fell silent, eye filling with tears, a smile plastered on his lips. He saw Kyuhyun's eyes closing once again, the beeping sound coming from the machine causing Siwon to panic. But just before, Siwon heard Kyuhyun's voice say the words he had longed to hear. Siwon smiled with tears.

"I love you."

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Okay... what do you think? I'm not sure about this, I'm terrible with angst! Did you enjoy it?~ ^^