for Chocolate_loves

My Daddy Used to Say

~flow19~

Kyuhyun lets out a groan.

He hates it.

He absolutely hates it when he reads a book or a magazine and finds something there that seems like is written specifically for him.

First love never dies, they say.

Boy, does he know it.

                He puts the book to the side and lets out a sigh. Choi Sooyoung. It’s been two years since she left yet here he is, still thinking about her on a regular basis. It’s supposed to be a high school sweethearts kind of thing and nearly every adult claims things like that don’t last. But he’s still single two years later because no can ever take her place. No one can be her to him.

                Kyuhyun puts the book on his bedside table and like always, he lays in bed, wondering what she is doing and how she is doing. He knows he told her back then that he’d keep in touch but something in him has kept him from doing so. He knows she regularly communicates with Heechul, Jessica and the rest of their childhood friends yet he has always hesitated and failed to ask if she ever mentions his name.

They don’t tell him anything either.

He lets out a sigh and finally reaches out and turns off the lamp.

He has lost count of how many days he has spent missing her.

o-o-o-o-o

                One day, Kyuhyun finally gives in to his college friends’ nagging and agrees to go out on a date with a girl they set him up with. It’s been such a long time, they argue, and it’s time for him to move on. He gives them a hesitant nod, recognizing the truth in their words. He can’t keep holding on to her forever.

                Her name is Younha, a fresh-face, spunky girl with short hair that framed her face. They share a lot in company, apparently, especially their love for music and playing instruments. He feels a tiny bit more hopeful when he hears all those. Maybe this can work. So he remembers all the details his friends have told him and gets ready for dinner with her.

                She is what he has expected her to be – shy at the beginning but soulful and spirited soon after. She is as passionate about music as he has anticipated and they spend the whole dinner about their favourite pieces to play and their favourite composers. She is fun, witty and has a good spot for conversation. People will probably say that they are a good match for each other.

That may be true for them… but not him.

                And so when he brings her home after the good dinner they had, it’s as clear as day that she is expecting him to ask for her number or ask her out for a second date. But Kyuhyun merely thanks her and wishes her good night before he leaves. He is never one who wants to hurt anybody intentionally. He may be snarky. He may sly at times. But he has never been heartless.

He never likes to lie.

And it’d be the greatest lie if he says he’s completely over Choi Sooyoung.

                He lets out a sign as he braces himself for everything his friends have to say tomorrow. He’s sure Younha probably has told them of what happened and how he didn’t ask for her number or the possibility of a second date. He braces himself for the many speeches of how he has to move on and how he can’t always keep Sooyoung in his heart. Kyuhyun tells himself to be patient with them.

They don’t understand.

He never expects them to.

o-o-o-o-o

It’s nearly three months after his date with Younha that Kyuhyun thought that he has gone mad.

                He lacks sleep. His is grumpy despite the many cups of coffee. He has just finished probably the worst exam he has ever taken in his whole entire existence. That professor of his really knows no mercy. Absolutely no mercy. He is tired. He has lost all hope of passing that subject.

He is seeing things.