for GoddessOfChaos

The House That Built Me

~flow19~

It looked the same.

It still looked the exact same way it did the first time she had laid her eyes on it back when she was just fourteen.

It almost seemed like she had never left.

It almost seemed like she wasn’t gone for five years.

                The house was probably occupied by someone else now – probably even another family set to make their own memories they could cherish for a lifetime in that home. She and her family did the same thing all those years ago. It surprised her, though, that the house was never changed. Even the swing on the front porch was still there – that same swing where she graved her name on one of its wooden bars.

Choi Sooyoung

I know they say you can’t go home again
I just had to come back one last time
Ma’am, I know you don’t know me from Adam
But these hand prints on the front steps are mine

Once upon a time, this house cream coloured walls and mahogany roof had been her home.

And even after all these years, it still felt like it.

                She remembered every inch and space in that house so vividly that not even time had a chance of removing. She remembered every precious memory she had in there and how each place meant something significant to her. It was on that front porch where she often waited – waited for her parents to come home from work or for her friends to come over. It was in that kitchen where she watched her mother cook each and every day and where she, herself, learned how to cook. It was on that maroon coloured couch leaning against the window where her father sat most of the time, either reading newspapers or reading her a book as she sat on his lap.

                Her eyes blurry, she looked at the second floor. The one facing the main street had been her parents’. She remember how she’d sneak in the middle of the night, wedging herself in between her parents as she shook with every thunder and lightning… and each and every time, her mother sang softly in her ear to calm her down and her father would put an arm over the two important girls in his life, telling that nothing’s gonna harm them – not while he was around.

                The room at the back of the second floor had been what one of her dear childhood friends, Kim Heechul, had called as her kingdom. It was there that she studied; sometimes on her own and sometime with help. It was there where she and her friends stayed when they came to sleep over. Yuri, Amber and Hyoyeon had always been fond of the beanbags she had on the floor while Sulli, Yoona and Seohyun had preferred to be with her on her bed.

                The backyard never escaped her memory either. It was there that Kris had attempted to teach her how to play basketball; the two of them failing miserably to reach their goal much to the amusement of their audience. It was where she met new friends, the latest additions to growing neighbourhood gang. It was where she, Luhan, Yoona and Xiumin practiced their dance routine for gym. It was where they played tag, where the base was for hide and seek.

Up those stairs in the little back room
Is where I did my homework and I learned to play guitar
And I bet you didn’t know under that live oak
My favourite dog is buried in the yard

It had been five years since she had last stepped foot inside that house.

She was twenty two now, standing by that large sturdy tree off to the side of the house inches away from the sidewalk. She looked nothing like the tomboyish girl she had been back then. Her hair was long, styled by curling irons into loose, elegant waves down her shoulders. She no longer wore overalls and weird fitting jeans and rubber shoes. Instead, she was in her cream coloured camisole, burgundy cardigan, dark washed jeans and chocolate brown leather boots. She leaned against the tree; her arms folded over her chest as she stared at her old home, absorbing every memory that presented itself to her.

She wanted nothing more to just come in – just this once.

But she wasn’t sure if she was really ready for it.

It had also been five years since her parents were taken from her.

It had been five long, long years since she decided to leave without turning back.

I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
This brokenness inside me might start healing
Out here it’s like I’m someone else
I thought that maybe I could find myself

If I could just come in, I swear I’ll leave
Won’t take nothing but a memory
From the house that built me

                She still remembered the first house they had. Her parents had just been starting when they had her and they could only afford a small apartment. She remembered the times when they went to the bookstore, how her mother had gazed so longingly at real state and landscape magazines. Her father had vowed that he’d give her – them – that house one day. All they needed to do was to be patient. And on her fourteenth birthday, they had moved into this house that her parents had saved for, where all their hard work, blood, sweat and tears went to.

Mama cut out pictures of houses for years
From “Better Homes and Garden” magazine
Plans were drawn and concrete poured
And nail by nail and board by board
Daddy gave life to mama’s dream

                They had only been enjoying this new life for a measly three years when a man living a life of drugs and alcohol had taken her p