I lay on the bed, waiting for a reaction from Donghae. I swear I almost felt tears in my eyes.

Say something. I began to panic. Oh god, I’m not y at all! What was I thinking?! I probably look like a slug lying here like this!

“H-Hyukkie?” He asked, still standing there petrified. “Wh-what are you…”

Um, I’m quite sure it’s obvious Hae… I thought.

I slowly stood up, gathering my nerves to walk over to him. I gently tugged his collar towards me, brining his face next to mine. I could feel his breath against my lips. I slowly closed the gap between us, pressing my mouth eagerly against his. In a state of confusion, he didn’t react for a moment, but then his lips moved against mine, and his hands found their way to my hips. I could taste Donghae, every part of his delicious mouth.

I ran my tongue against his lips, forcing it’s way into his mouth. He granted me entry, parting his lips as I wildly shoved my tongue in his mouth. His head met the back of the door as I rammed myself into him, pressing my body against his. My hands slid down his chest, finding their way to his buttons. I carefully started to un do the first one, and grabbing his tie and pulling it off of him.

I continued to kiss him deeply, and soon, I pulled his shirt back over his shoulders. He broke our kiss, shrugging it off and to the floor. He grabbed my head, crashing our lips together again with hot aggression.

I felt his tongue roll over mine as I slid my hands down his bare chest, feeling the heat radiate from his body. My hands crept down to the belt of my bathrobe, untying it and letting it fall to the floor, leaving me in my boxers. I pressed my hands against his chest, begging for more.

His hands slowly crept down my body, finding my and grabbing it, making me gasp against his lips. I lead my hand lower and lower along his abdominal muscles, finally reaching the top of his pants.

My fingers clasped the top button when suddenly, I was thrown from his body.

“N-no.” He said, grabbing the edge of the door, panting from our kiss. I hugged my thin frame, suddenly feeling exposed in my underwear from his sudden rejection.

“Hae,” I whispered, giving him a confused look. “This is your birthday present.”

He squeezed his eyes shut, as if trying to make me vanish from the room. He slowly opened his eyes, looking at me with a desperate expression.

“I-I can’t Hyukjae.” He said, his chest rising and falling at a rapid rate.

Suddenly, it all became clear.

He didn’t want me. He didn’t want to be with me in such an intimate way. He didn’t want to touch me, be with me and make love to me.

The feeling shattered in my heart, brining tears to my eyes. I pulled myself onto the bed, curling up into a ball and burying my face into the sheets in shame.

“Y-you don’t want to be with me, is that it?” I sobbed, feeling tears leaks from the corners of my eyes. “It’s okay if you do.”

I glanced up at him. He ran his hand through his long hair, looking at me with a pained expression.

“No! It’s not that!” He assured. “I just… can’t.”

“Is it because I’m ugly?!” I cried, not angry at him, but angry at myself for being such a loser.

“Hyukjae! You’re beautiful!” He said, sitting on the bed beside me and resting his hand on my shoulder, running his thumb over my skin. “And trust me, I want to. So badly. But I can’t do this to you.”

“But I want you to do this to me!” I sniffled. “I love you Donghae-.”

“Being in love doesn’t make you ready to do this.” He said, wiping the tears from my cheeks. “And vice versa, being ready doesn’t make you in love.”

I struggled to take in his confusing words.

“Baby, you’re gorgeous.” He said, easing me up. “And the fact that you were actually willing to offer this is really sweet of you. But I can tell, you’re not ready.”

The words sunk in.

Maybe he’s right. Maybe I’m just not ready.

“B-but you-.”

“Don’t worry about me.” He smiled. “I’m okay. I would rather wait until you’re totally ready. That way, it’ll actually mean something.”

Donghae sat cross-legged and pulled me onto his lap. I gently rested my head on his thigh while he soothingly my hair.

“One day, you’ll know you’re ready.” He said. “And when you do, I’ll be waiting. And even until that day when you decide, I still love you more than anything in this world. No matter what.”

I wiped away the last of my tears, half smiling at what Donghae had said.

But there was still one thing I was itching to know.

“Dong..hae.” I sniffled. “Have you, ever… Had… ?”

Based on the long, silent pause, I already had my answer.

He sighed heavily, running his hand up and down my arm.

“Back in high school, I was stupid.” He admitted. “I was stupid, and I made stupid mistakes. Mistakes that I wish for the life of me I could take back.”

Even though it hurt to know I wouldn’t be his very first, it was a relief to finally know the truth.

“But,” He continued awkwardly, taking his eyes from mine. “There is one ity I still have… And, Hyukjae, I want you to take it.”

My eyes widened.

No… Way. He wants me to… To him?!

I squeezed my lips together, not really knowing how to respond to that last part.

I slowly sat up, draping my arms around his shoulders, pressing my nose against his cheek. I gently moved, kissing his neck softly, feeling his skin beneath my lips.

“Hyukjae, no-.”

“Shh…” I hushed him, kissing along his jaw line. “I’m not going to do anything. I just want to be with you.”

I found the corner of his mouth, pressing my lips to his, before meeting his entire mouth.

The kiss was slow, long and passionate. Donghae wrapped his arms around me, gently laying us both down against the pillows. I tangled my legs with his, pulling myself closer to his body.

Maybe I didn’t need . Maybe all I needed, was him.

So instead of getting laid, I ended up sulking like and idiot and falling asleep in my now-even-more-perfect boyfriend’s arms.

Smooth one Hyukjae.

Donghae spent the morning with the help of Heechul and myself, going through different presents people had left him, and deciding which ones he wanted to keep, and which ones he wanted to give to Heechul.

Donghae and I hadn’t spoken about last night, even though the tension still hung in the air.

I couldn’t help but feel slightly embarrassed still.

“Ooh!” He said, taking out an Iron Man action figure from a box. “This one’s from Minho! Hyukkie, put this in the keep pile!”

I sighed, taking the superhero from my boyfriend and putting to my left, where we already had various CD’s and DVDs, a dozen bottles of various alcohols, a huge stack of chocolate, a pair of expensive sunglasses and a watch which Donghae decided to give to Kyuhyun.

“This one’s from Bom!” He said, reading an envelope. I found it so cute the way he got excited over each and every present, even the lousy ones. “It says: To Donghae and Hyukjae. It’s for both of us!”

Even though I actually found it amusing helping Donghae open gifts, my eyes lit up upon hearing that it was a couples gift for the both of us.

Donghae tore open the envelope, revealing tickets to an exclusive wine tasting festival in Incheon.

“Wow!” He beamed. “This looks like fun. We should go.”

I smiled and nodded, taking the tickets from him and adding it to the pile.

I have to admit, these people really know Donghae well.

After opening the last present (being a glittery set of stationary from Key), Donghae had gone through every gift from the table, deciding on keeping a sizeable pile of soaps, lotions and other crap he could use around the house.

“Wait!” Heechul said, disappearing to the other room and returning with a huge box, almost half the size of Heechul himself. “This one’s from all of us at Super Junior!”

Heechul dumped the heavy looking box in front of Donghae who was staring at it in awe.

What the could possibly be in… That?

Donghae began carefully lifting off the wrapping paper, and giving up and tearing into it. He opened the cardboard box, lifting out what looked like a giant silver hour glass shaped tower.

“What is it?” He asked, turning to Heechul, who crossed his arms smugly.

“It’s a chocolate fondue fountain.” He explained. “It’s pretty much a fountain for melted chocolate. Don’t ask me, Ryeowook chose it.”

Donghae smiled thanking Heechul.

Thanks a lot Heechul, I snapped in my mind. Now Donghae’s going to get fat!

“There’s even a card!” Heechul said shoving him an envelope. Donghae took out the card, flipping it open. I peered over his shoulder at all the little messages.

Each message was long, heart felt and ended in a signature. All except one. I glanced at a tiny squiggle in the corner, with a little smiley face. Nothing more, nothing less.

Of course, the most disappointing one had to be Eunhyuk’s.

Donghae loaded all of his items into the back of the car along with our bags. We both farewelled Heechul, before getting in the car and heading off to the airport.

We arrived back at Donghae’s house in Mokpo, where we were greeted by Hongki, who took our bags and the box of Donghae’s presents from the car. I laughed, watching him struggle with the largest present; a fountain apparently for chocolate (oh dear god).

Donghae threw his arm around my waist as we thanked Hongki and made our way up to the front door.

Upon stepping inside, I was greeted to a sight I never thought I would see.

Is this for real?

Kyuhyun was sitting on the floor with Choco, cradled in his lap, playing with her paws and actually smiling. Kyuhyun, not smirking but actually smiling.

He scratched his fingers through Choco’s fluffy fur, only looking up when Donghae cleared his throat.

“Oh, I-” He said, shoving the little dog to the floor and hastily getting to his feet. “You’re back.”

I had no idea why Kyuhyun was so flustered that we had caught him in the act of actually having a heart to play with the little Pomeranian, but all I could do was smile and pick Choco up. I held her to my chest.

“Hey Choccy.” I cooed at the dog, who happily slid her tongue out to my face. “Did you have fun playing with uncle Kyuhyun?”

It felt good to finally being able to tease the obnoxious son of a .

“Well, I’m glad your back.” Kyuhyun grunted, “That little ball of wouldn’t stop yapping.”

I rolled my eyes, smiling at my baby Choco.

“What brings you here Kyu?” Donghae asked, setting his keys down on the table.

“I was just here to pick up the documents for Kwon.” He informed, following Donghae to his office.

“I had fun in Seoul, thanks for asking.” Donghae muttered, leading Kyuhyun behind the doors.

Kyuhyun promptly left with a set of paperwork in a big yellow envelope, sending Choco and evil glare.

“What crawled up his and died?” I asked, putting the dog down on the tiles. It wasn’t unusual for Kyuhyun to be bitter, but today he seemed extra snappy