I was running late for school for the second time. Mr. Kwon gave me a sharp look as I ran past him, along with other students. The bell just chimed when I caught our homeroom teacher getting inside our classroom. I ran quickly and gave her a sheepish smile as I crammed myself to the door along with my other classmate who also happened to be running late. I was walking towards my seat when someone sitting from the back caught my eye. Jongin.

I didn’t expect him to be in school today, one because he didn’t tell me he will be and two, the last time we talked, he said he’s going to be a bit busy for the next following days because he’s already starting his training. I gave him a small smile as I sat on my chair, he was about to return the gesture when our teacher suddenly called his name during the roll call.

After our class, I was relieved Jongin didn’t ask why I was late. I didn’t want to lie to him, but I couldn’t tell him, either. It’s been a week since I received the call from mom’s company, informing me that she’s fired. I remember sitting on couch limply after receiving the call, with my heart beating hard against my chest, only it wasn’t because of the effect of Jongin’s warm and lingering kisses. I was scared.

Aunt Sora’s voice echoed inside my head at once.

She’ll take me and Young Soo. She’ll take us and leave mom…where?

I tried to talk to my mom about it the next day but she was still wearing that vacant expression on her face. I immediately thought we’re just going to argue so I didn’t. This was all me, everything was in my hands now and I have to toughen up. I knew it’s going to happen and I also knew one way or another, Aunt Sora will find out about this sooner or later. But for now, I have to do anything to keep everything together. Despite everything mom’s been going through, everything our relationship’s been going through, I couldn’t bring myself to just leave her. It would’ve been so easy to just dump her. Sometimes, I hate myself for not having the guts to do that but I realized that that I just can’t and I won’t.

Aunt Sora’s challenge became, somehow, the driving force for me to pull myself together. I was the one who’s doing the chores at the house, I’d bring Young Soo at school in the morning, which was the reason why I’ve been running late the past few days. I need to work on some routine there so I wouldn’t have to explain myself to anyone who notices. I work at Spines after school to pay for my last tuition this semester and also some house bills. Aunt Sora hadn’t suspected anything, yet. When she asked me why mom hasn’t picked up Young Soo the past few days, I told her that since I was working there, we could go home together. Aunt Sora bought it. And there was another notch in my belt. When did I became so good in lying?

And the thing is, I’ve been lying to my best friend, too. Well, not intentionally. I’ve been hiding things from her. Yes, that’s the word. I usually share things with Min Jee, things like this, but these days, I just couldn’t. Sometimes, I feel like I’ve been lumbering her in our friendship. She cares so much about me and she usually go out of her way just to help me out, even if it means putting aside her own issues. Lately, she’s been in a genuinely good mood which I haven’t seen in a while. I don’t want to ruin that. I just wish there’s some sort of an OFF switch for my brain so it’d stop running just a for a few minutes. I could really use that.

“Use what?” Jongin asked, looking at me curiously.

I blinked and remembered that we were walking down the street. After school this afternoon, he invited me to take a walk with him in the park. I have work this afternoon, but he didn’t know that and I wanted to spend time him so I said yes. But apparently, I zoned out yet again.

“Huh?” I said, wondering if I just said that out loud.

“You said you could really use that.” Jongin clarified. “What is it?”

Great, I’m mumbling things now, I thought to myself annoyingly. “Oh, uh,” I started thinking fast. “A…cupcake.” I sputtered. “I could really use a cupcake.” I said and then he giggled.

He took my hand as we crossed the street and bought a box of cupcake in this fancy pastry shop. I was about to get a table but Jongin said we’ll eat it outside. I told him there’s a table inside the shop for a reason, he merely giggled, grabbed my hand and we walked out of the shop.

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