From A Young Mind

Description

He ran. He ran because he had to. Because it was his only chance for survival. As far as he knew, he was the only one left alive. His hyungs gone. Left alone in a house he knew nothing about, hoping to live to see another day.

Foreword

Hello. I have no ideas why I am posting this now when I have to go to sleep for the night, I have to get up early tomorrow ;_; (I love my sleep). I had a sudden surge of insperation. Very low chances that I will update soon, I will update though in about a day if anybody feels like knowing. :-D Enjoy
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Comments

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RoyalDream #1
Chapter 2: I enjoyed reading this :D that twist tho got me :D
expectations #2
Chapter 1: That was a cool story, didn't expected it to be ending that way. Love it. This is a very creative fic, I would say, as the way you wrote it made me feel as if zelo's going to die, when in fact, he won't anyway. I really thought the red stain's blood and youngjae's heart had been ripped off or something, should've known it's paint.

Now this is the moment for me to wonder where the thumb up button is…
Kimchiramyun #3
Chapter 2: That was nicely written, especially the first chapter. You had me completely fooled. I thought he was going to die in a horrifically gory way OTL.
Just a few things(you don't have to change them, and I'm sorry if you get annoyed at my nit-picking):
"a bit rough around the edges"(Ch. 1)
That phrase is usually used to describe people, and I've never heard someone use it for an inanimate object before. Maybe use a different phrase?
"But the inside. It was..."(Ch.1)
? I don't understand what the "but the inside" part is referring to.
"...stopping in front of a door part way opened"
It's a bit unclear. Perhaps "partially opened door" would work better here?
"I forced by breathing to even out.."
I believe you meant to write "my" here.
"Some help that did."
Why did turning around not help him? Was it too dark for to see?
"Did I just feel something breath on my neck."
Question mark~
"My old hidding spot"
Hiding~
"we have a schedual tomorrow."
Schedule.
"The four of us left headed towards the door, opened, closed, and Yongguk hyung locked it."
The "opened, closed" bit doesn't fit in with the rest of the sentence, turning it awkward and choppy. Try separating it into separate sentences instead, like "The four of us headed towards the door. Youngjae held it open, and we all filed through. After locking it,Yongguk hyung turned and gave the key back to blah blah.."

But overall, nice :)
33jjlover #4
Chapter 2: Woah!! Tht was good!! :) didnt expect tht to b a hide-n-seek game!! U made me scared for a second! LUV THE STORY
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