It's Hard
Secrets, Lies, Love
Hi guyzzz. its me. I was watching the video that was amazingly made for me a while ago and was amazed that there was a few coments about this fic and it filled me with joy. I just couldn't believe that people actually like my fic. Anyway here is another chapter. ENJOY.
Its hard you know. Its hard to know that one small thing can change everything for the worse. The car accident. Me leaving Infinite for a few months. My brother running away from home. Myungsoo confessing his feelings (I don't know whether to be happy or sad for the last one). Sometimes I just think that it to be me. Other times i think that i kind of deserve it. Maybe if I listened to my parents i would of been a doctor treating people instead of bringing people down.
Its just hard. But thats just the thing i don't know how to be anything else.
I lie awake in bed with Myungsoo's beautifully warm arms protecting me. I sigh as i look at his sleeping face, the peacfulness of the person i love. I can't help but think that one day this face will be pale and hollow because of me. But i so despartely want to be selfish and lie with him forever feeling safe and protected. I bring my hand to his check and softly run my fingers over his perfect features.
My hearing was gone again. It didn't hurt anymore but it always went away for long periods of time. I couldn't really notice since it was the middle of the night but the fact that i couldn't hear Myungsoo's soft snores (yes he does snore) was proof that an episode was happening. A few tears fall down my cheek as i still look at my beloved. How can he be so so perfect, and still want me.
It was around dawn when my hearing started to come back first i could hear Myungsoo's snores, then the chirping of birds and then the whispers outside my room. I was about to get up when the arms around me tightened. I turned to look at Myungsoo again to see him looking at me with pure adoration.
"How can you be so perfect" He said with sleep in his voice. I just shook my head and bowed my head.
"Did you sleep well?" He asked while yawning. I nodded my head. Myungsoo brought me in closer and gently kissed my lips. God his lips were ones of gods. Fully plump, delicously delicous, just wonderful. I could melt in them.
"I love you" He whispered to me after breaking the kiss "Me too" I replied. Myungsoo just grinned at me and sat up pulling me up as well.
"Time for breakfast" Myungsoo declared grabbing my hand and then pulling me off the bed and out the room to the kitchen where breakfast was already set up. " Oh you two are awake" Woohyun said wiggling his eyebrows at me suggestingly. "Yeah we like literally had to hold Kai down from waking you guys up" Sungyeol smiled. It was good to see them smile. Even Sunggyu-Hyung was looking at me like he used to when we were still trainees and he would always care for me. Like Family.
I looked at Kai and gave him a big hug. Just because i could. He didn't seem to mind, he just hugged me back. As a whole group we all sat down and started eating a beautiful western style breakfast. It was nice everyone was laughing with each other and playing around. I was a bit awkward at first but Myungsoo was next to me holding my hand under the table and kai was sitting across from me grinning with food still in his mouth. Hoya and Dongwoo were looking at me like a parent would look at their child. Proudly. Woohyun and sungyeol both were also laughing and having a good time to make the mood great. Sunggyu he looked at me with so much emotion that i knew that we needed to talk after breakfast. I needed to tell him that he wasn't at fault and that i forgive him. But first i just smiled at him a truly happy smile before diging into a small portion of food.
Right after breakfast the phone rang.
Sungyeol was the one to answer it with his smile glowing. As soon as the phone touched his ear his smile turned to a frown. He turned to face me, I knew who it was but i could tell that he wanted to hang up instead of give it to me. I sighed and stood up. Everyone looking at me to see what i was doing. I walked to Sungyeol and held out my hand. I could tell he was reluctant to give me the phone but he did anyway.
"Hello Mother" I answered as I put the phone to my ear. Instantly I could hear sreaming.
"DON'T YOU MOTHER ME YOU UNGREATFUL CHILD. I WISH I NEVER HAD YOU HOW COULD YOU CORRUPT YOUR LITTLE BROTHER TO RUN AWAY FROM HOME AND FOLLOW THE LIFE OF A GOOD FOR NOTHING . I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE. YOU LITTLE , LIKING GUYS. I WISHED THAT THAT CRASH HAD KILLED YOU. I AM COMING TO KOREA IN A FEW DAYS TO COLLECT MY CHILD I SURE HOPE YOUR KIND DOESN'T WASH OFF ON HIM I WILL NOT HAVE 2 FAGGOTS IN THIS FAMILY. PUT KAI ON THE PHONE!" It's kind of sad that this doesn't make me cry. I feel numb but i think that i have dried up my tears to cry for my family.
"Kai your mother would like to speak to you" I said plainly and i handed to phone to Kai. Kai walked to another room and i could hear him screaming into the phone. Everyone else was looking at me. 4 of them wondering what had happened. Sungyeol looked so shocked about the call that i really wanted to ask him what she had said to him before he gave me the phone. Then there was Sunggyu-hyung who had always know what my parents were like since he practically raised me since i was 14. I was about to sit down still in a sort of trance, that was until Sunggyu strided right up to me and embraced me for the first time since the accident.
"Shhhh its okay, its okay lee sungjong its okay" He whispered to me while holding me tightly. "Everything will be fine your okay" Even though i said that all my tear had dried up for some reason Hyung could always make me cry it all out, while he comforted me.
Its hard it is. but they make it better. I just hope I make it better for them as well.
Comments