L wanted to run over to Jaekyung that very moment but it was already three in the morning.

He didn't know how it would look like, appearing at the Lee doorstep in his pajamas and messed up hair. He hardly cared about that, but he wanted for her to get her rest tonight before he scolded the hell out of her in the morning.

Seriously, she was letting Chaekyung's mistake drag her down? It was Chaekyung who cheated, Chaekyung who betrayed her, Chaekyung who went out to hurt herself.

So why was she guilty?

L wanted to think that way, but he couldn't exactly. He wasn't a robot, he couldn't analyze things in such a cold hearted judgmental manner.

Because he knew Chaekyung and he could feel her rage, even if it was written by another person and read a few years later, he could feel her desperation.

The Dull One wasn't Jaekyung, it was Chaekyung.

And while Jaekyung had chosen to be dull and unattractive, Chaekyung didn't want to be so. It to be pretty and cute but no one noticed. To try to stand out to everyone but it was her sister who got the attention.

L loved Jaekyung, and he knew he was biased in his views towards her because he knew just why people chose Jaekyung over Chaekyung. Especially then, when everything hadn't happened.

That Jaekyung must have been more charming than she was now, because that Jaekyung was more outspoken and daring, more confident but kind all the same.

And even L had to admit he felt sorry for Chaekyung.

Cheating was a sin, Chaekyung should never have done that.

But wasn't that what L had desperately hoped Jaekyung would do? What they did tonight, when he kissed her numerous times, when she finally admitted she loved him back....would that count as cheating?

Even though they hadn't given each other a title for their relationship, their hearts were exchanged. That alone was enough for emotional betrayal.

And L could see why Jaekyung was so adamant about the entire thing. Because she had been a first hand victim on the receiving end.



Dear Diary,

I'm such a fool. I think Heaven must dislike me a lot, and by a lot I mean immensely.

If Heavem didn't hate me, why arrange for things to be like this? Why must I fall for the same guy Chae likes? AGAIN?

Fate really likes to play tricks on me huh. When I was willing to sacrifice everything for Chae, when I had gone through so much pains to make sure she doesn't suffer, destiny just throws something like this at me.

Myungsoo told me he loved me, today.

Few moments before he said the actual words, I realized I loved him. You could never imagine the sheer exhilaration that coursed through my veins as I savored his touch. The way he looked at him. Like I was the only one he saw.

And then that feeling rapidly turned into the most disgusting shock ever. I felt bile rising up my throat and I wanted to gag.

I'm so disgusting.

How could I fall for Myungsoo? How could I, knowing that these years of sacrifice on my part, something like Love would deliver the final blow mercilessly, fatally?

I'm so disgusted with myself, but at the same time I'm not disgusted about love. I can't be, because I know how this love came about, how it grew, and it just budded in me, I had no say.

I love him, I love him so much. But I can't...I just can't.

I remember the exact moment four years ago when I saw Dongjae kissing Chae. That shock. That disbelief. That sense of betrayal.

My ignorance of what Chae was feeling has caused her to lose two years of her memories, she was unconscious for two weeks, she almost left me behind.

I can't let her feel such magnitude of hurt again, I can't let anything happen to her.

I'm such a coward.

I wish I could be more forceful towards Myungsoo's advancements. I wish I could stay away. I wish I wouldn't melt under his gaze.

But it's too late. I already love him.







L woke up when the sunlight shone on his face mercilessly, making him squirm and squint. The curtains were pulled apart and Mrs Kim chuckled in amusement. "Myungsoo ah, why haven't you woken up? Did you reach home late last night?"

L woke up groggily, his head heavy. "What time is it, umma?"

"It's ten in the morning. You usually wake at eight, Myungsoo. Did you sleep late?" Mrs Kim asked absent-mindedly as she dusted his room.

L's eyes snapped opened and he jumped out of bed. "! Ten? I planned to reach at seven to interrogate her!" He dashed for the bathroom.

Mrs Kim blinked in surprise. "Interrogate who?"

"The love of my life!" L hollered with the toothbrush in his mouth.

-----

L rushed all the way to the Lee house in record time, having so many things to say and at the same time not knowing how to go about doing so. He kept the red leather bounded book in his coat and knocked on the door urgently.

He didn't know what he would say once he saw her. But he knew what he would do.

He would take her in his arms and hold her. He would never let go.

The door opened and Mrs Lee blinked at him in surprise. "Oh Myungsoo!" She smiled in delight. "Are you here for Chaekyung? Come in! She hasn't woken up yet, I'm afraid. That sleepy head usually sleeps till noon on Sundays."

"I'm here for Jaekyung." L looked over her shoulder urgently. "Where is she?"

"Jaekyung?" Mr Lee got up from the breakfast table. "She went to the park nearby to take a walk. She said she had a lot of things on her mind and she needed to clear her thoughts-"

Mr Lee blinked as L ran off. "Wait, I haven't even finished!" He shook his head in amusement. "Aigoo, such a good boyfriend huh?"

Mrs Lee sent him a look. "Myungsoo is Chaekyung's boyfriend. Junki is the one with Jaekyung!"

Mr Lee's eyes widened. "Oh right! I mixed them up again! These boys behave weirdly don't you think, it's hard to read them. Or rather, it's easy to read but what I detect is different from what it should be. In fact...I kind of think this Myungsoo looks like he's in love with Jae, not Chae."

"Yeah." Mrs Lee frowned. She sighed softly and stared out to space while her husband took this chance to run.

"Yah Yeobo! I haven't told you off yet! How could you not remember who's our daughter's boyfriend???"

-----

L ran to the nearby park, cursing himself when he saw the sheer size. He should have asked Mr Lee where Jaekyung usually liked to stroll.

He called her numerous times, but she turned her phone off. Or it was out of battery. Either case she was unreachable.

L growled as he ran around wildly, hoping he could find her before he collapsed out of mere exhaustion.

People were looking in his direction curiously as they saw a handsome young man running around with mismatched socks and wrongly buttoned shirt, and not to mention a pair of jeans with one end rolled up and the other down.

L looked pretty silly but he didn't bother about his appearance at that point. His gaze darted about, swallowing hard and scanning every girl.

"Lee Jaekyung just where are you?" L muttered, panting lightly.

As if answering his prayers, he suddenly saw a girl in a white tee and faded denim shorts sitting on one of the benches and staring at the ground blankly.

It was her, his girl.

L ran over to her, hollering her name as if it was the last time he saw her. "LEE JAEKYUNG!"

Jaekyung blinked in surprise, her eyes slightly unfocused as she saw someone hurling himself in her direction. She let out a small gasp. "M-Myungsoo?"

And then he reached her and she was plucked off the bench and pulled into the tightest embrace possible. L tightened his arms around her even more, panting lightly into her hair.

"I understand. I understand everything now." He whispered.

Jaekyung pinked when she saw people around them looking curiously at their public display of affections and she pushed him away slightly to look at him. "Myungsoo why are you here?"

L stared at her searching her eyes, and his hands reached out to brush a stray curl away from her face unconsciously.

"I know, Jaekyung." He muttered, his eyes searching hers. "And I want to say I understand. But you've got to let go."

Jaekyung blinked once. And her gaze turned a little guarded. "What are you talking about?" She asked suspiciously.

L unwrapped his arms around her (reluctantly) and pulled out the red leather bound book from his coat. "I believe this is yours."

Jaekyung gasped and she snatched the book away, pale and shocked. "It's with you? I thought...for a moment I thought Chae found it!" She snapped her head towards him to glare accusingly. "You read it?"

L bit his lip and didn't say anything.

"I can't believe you read it!" Jaekyung shrilled and hit his chest. "It's an invasion of privacy! It's...it's...it's mean!" She sobbed. "You can't do that!"

L grabbed her hands gently to pry her clenched fists open and sighed softly. "I would say I'm sorry but honestly? I'm not. I'm actually very grateful that this book dropped into my bag without my knowledge and I got to read it. Or I'll never know, I'll never know about him. Lee Dongjae."

Jaekyung stiffened and she stared at the ground. "You know." She whispered.

"Yes I know. And I know he's a freaking bastard for cheating on you. He's an for not treasuring you. He's scum for seducing Chaekyung to commit such betrayal..." L murmured. "But Jaekyung, that's what I'm doing too."

Jaekyung's eyes snapped up to him.

"Because I'm still Chaekyung's boyfriend, but I love you. I want you. I need you. I wish you'd respond to my touches, I savor the way you blush." L whispered. "And you've got to understand that falling in love is not a crime."

"But-"

"Cheating on Chaekyung is the crime, and I'm not going to deny anything like that. I did. I strayed, whatever you call it." L swallowed. "But Jae, you've got to let go. What happened four years ago was a mistake. Lee Dongjae didn't love either of you, he was playing with you. He would have stuck by Chaekyung's side if he really did choose her, but he didn't. He got a new girlfriend a week after. He's different from me, Jae."

Jaekyung stared at him.

"Because sacrificing sister love for someone like him is dumb. But I do love you, and I'll not walk away like he did." L pleaded. "I'm not asking you to throw all concerns to the wind but I'm asking for you to give yourself a chance. Us a chance."

"But Chaekyung-"

"Needs to learn how to handle a heartbreak. She gave you one and you survived didn't you? She will too." L brushed her cheeks.

"Barely." Jaekyung whispered. "I barely survived. I don't want to see Chae going through something similar. I've seen her," she took a large gulp of air, obviously trying to swallow her tears. "I've seen her being pushed into the emergency ward. Bleeding and cut, looking lifeless and beyond hope. I was so sure she would die, Myungsoo. And when she didn't, I thought it was God's gift. How could I inflict similar pain on her again?"

"Do you think the pain will be any lesser if she finds out that I don't love her and I love you?" L questioned. "Because I don't think I'll be able to hide it forever. I think she might suspect something, even now. I try to control the way I act, but Jaekyung, I can't control the way my eyes look. And they only look at you."

Jaekyung let out a sob and L wrapped his arms around her, swaying them to a soothing rhythm.

"She's got to learn to fend for herself, to stand up when she falls." L whispered. "You can't be there for her forever. And you can't sacrifice everything for her either. She'll cry over this, she'll scream and she'll get mad. But when she gets over this and finds someone who loves her for who she is, she'll find real happiness with him. Her happiness isn't with me."

"Jaekyung, look at me." L tilted her head up and Jaekyung trembled.

"Give us a chance. What happened four years ago wasn't your fault. It wasn't Chaekyung's. It wasn't even Lee Dongjae's even though he really should get punished. It's just fate testing you to see if you can pull through." L murmured. "And right now fate is giving you another test. Don't be confined by what you think is right, we're just stopping Chaekyung from finding her own happiness this way."

"And you're stopping yourself."

L leaned his forehead against hers. "Lee Jaekyung can you please, please please please please...please give us a chance?" He murmured against her lips.

Jaekyung stared at him, knowing what he said was right.

She knew it somewhere at the back of her mind but the thought of doing what Chaekyung did to her four years ago made her flinch.

But L was right, what she did was just stopping Chaekyung from getting her own happiness.

And his as well.

Jaekyung closed her eyes and pressed her lips to his, taking the initiative to start a kiss for the first time. L instantly tightened his grip, kissing her back.

It felt like heaven.

After waiting, speculating, worrying, longing, pleading and begging for so long, she was finally his. His and his alone.

He would never let her go.

It felt like there was only two of them in the entire world and it felt like all bliss in the world was centered around them. L wound his fingers through her locks and held her tightly.

"I love you." L whispered. "And thank you for giving us a chance."

"I love you too." Jaekyung murmured, saying the three words directly for the first time. "Thank you for not giving up."

And then they were kissing again.