L stared up at the ceiling, blanking out.

He had known that Jaekyung was beginning to mean something to him. Something that was a lot. He knew that Jaekyung's place in his life had grown, was growing, and will continue to.

However, he had never thought it was possible for him to fall in love with her.

Not because of who she was.

But because he was already attached! He didn't think he was someone to fall in love with someone else when he already had a girlfriend.

Before all this, he had scorned cheaters and unfaithful lovers. He thought it was wholly ridiculous for them to excuse their actions for a change of heart. He thought it was irresponsible, he thought it was the actions of a freaking bastard.

And now he was one. Was he?

Was it counted as cheating if he hadn't fallen in love with his girlfriend at all? Was it considered a change of heart when his heart had not even been moved before? Had he even loved Chaekyung?

"No." L whispered. "I hadn't."

He kind of knew it all along, that he didn't feel anything more than platonic for the pretty younger girl. He thought he could fall in love with her, he thought it was possible for feelings to be cultivated through time.

His feelings for her did. Except now he felt like he was much more of a big brother to her than a friend. That was all.

But for Jaekyung, her place in his heart had grown by leaps and bounds, and he wasn't even sure if his heart was entirely his anymore. Or was it already hers.

"Do I love Jaekyung?" he whispered to the ceiling. "Do I? What if I make a mistake again like with Chaekyung? I can't hurt Jaekyung. I'll break her, of everyone in the world she's the last person I want to hurt."

The door opened and L sat up on his bed, slightly unfocused. Mr Kim raised his brows at his son and came into the room. "Were you sleeping?" he glanced at the clock. "And it's just nine."

"No I wasn't." L muttered. "I was thinking."

Mr Kim frowned at his son's troubled expression and set down the university application letters he had initially come into L's room for. He walked over to L and sat down on the bed beside his son. "So, what's bothering you?" he asked in concern. "Girl problem?" he joked.

L's face fell and Mr Kim's eyes widened. "So it's really girl problem?" he asked in surprise. "Something happened with Chaekyung?"

L hung his head. "Nothing happened. In fact, the problem is that nothing has happened. Nothing is going to. And nothing ever will." he sighed frustratedly. "Appa, why am I so dumb?"

Mr Kim frowned and patted his son's shoulder. "Slow down and explain it to me. You're not dumb, Myungsoo. Tell me about this problem you have."

L sighed and looked at his father. "I'm dating Chaekyung but I've never kissed her. I only did once, on her cheek. I have never held her hand voluntarily, she always initiates it. And when Woohyun hyung told me it was weird, I didn't even realize it right then. I should have known. I should have known that-"

"You didn't love her." Mr Kim murmured. He looked at his son deeply. "If that's the case, you have to break up with her and not lead her on any longer."

L nodded. "I know." he muttered. "But then there's this another problem. This wonderful bittersweet problem which I don't know the answer to, and I'm afraid to make decisions for fear that this might be another Chaekyung mistake and...and Appa, she's the last person I want to hurt." L whispered. "I'll kill myself if I do."

Mr Kim didn't even look surprised. "Jaekyung." he murmured.

L nodded. "Woohyun hyung pointed it out to me today. He suspects that I've already developed feelings for Jaekyung, and he told me to right things if that is so. Look appa, there's another evidence of what a fail I am. I even have to let my friend tell me about this before realizing it myself." he sighed. "Why am I such a fail?"

"You're not, Myungsoo." Mr Kim shook his head. "Because you know that the right thing to do now is break up with Chaekyung. Because you want to protect Jaekyung. All this confusion and your hesitance, do you realize it's all there because you care about Jaekyung? If you didn't care about her you wouldn't be so hesitant about entering a relationship with her. Because you cared."

L looked at his father and swallowed hard. Yes, yes he cared.

"And what's worse," L whispered. "Jaekyung is Chaekyung's sister." L groaned and buried his face in his hands. " why did this have to happen?"

Mr Kim chuckled softly and patted his son's back. "Whatever your choice, Myungsoo, your mother and I will be supporting you." he comforted. "And we trust that you will be able to make the right one."

"Yes the sister relation is going to be troublesome indeed, but if you love her you'll understand that in order for the dull one to shine, someone has to be able to make that sacrifice of reputation for her. For this dull one to be able to live her own life, she has to realize she can't give every single thing to her sister. And to start, she has to realize that she can't give up something like love."

Mr Kim looked at L. "And you have to help her realize that Myungsoo."

"Why did you confess to me, Chaekyung?"

Chaekyung's eyes rounded as she looked at L in surprise. Both of them were waiting in the car for Jaekyung to arrive so that L could send them both home. Jaekyung had gone to meet a teacher for some errands hence the couple had some time together.

"L oppa?" Chaekyung pinked and giggled. "You're seriously asking that? Didn't you read the confession letter?"

L stared ahead in front. "Yeah I did. I just wanted to hear it for myself. Why did you confess to me? Why did you want me to be your boyfriend? How did you know I was the one? Not any of the Infinite boys?"

Chaekyung hugged her bag and giggled. "Well, I've told unnie for a long time. When I meet a guy, I want to feel the ommphf. The feeling that no other guy gives you." she blushed at L. "And when I first met you, I had that feeling."

L bit his lip. "The first time?"

"Yeah. When you walked down the hallways." Chaekyung giggled. "I remember you, looking horrified at the fangirls and scowling at Sungyeol oppa when he teased you or something. You took my heart right then."

"This ompphf you're talking about." L murmured. "How do you know this feeling is the right one? What if it's wrong? How do you know-"

"Oppa." Chaekyung laughed. "No one really knows anything in love, even I know that when I'm only sixteen. No one can really understand love, this feeling that makes one selfish and selfless at the same time. You feel it, and you do it. Isn't that always?"

L finally turned to look at Chaekyung. "It is? Feel it and do it? What if it's wrong? What if you hurt someone else?"

Chaekyung shrugged and sighed softly. "Then too bad. But if you don't even try, you're never going to be happy isn't it?" she looked at L curiously. "Why this all of a sudden?"

L shook hish head and was about to answer when Jaekyung opened the car door and hurried inside. "Sorry I was late!" she panted. "I got a little carried away with the dicussion with Teacher Lee."

L turned to look at her, her face flushed and rosy and her hair slightly messy from her running. His heart gave a leap and he unconsicously his lips.

He wanted to kiss her. So badly.

L snapped his head to the front, closing his eyes. Was this just lust?

Because if it was he would never forgive himself. He had to be a hundred percent sure in this before he acted, because he would never risk hurting Jaekyung.

"Yah Myungsoo why are you staring into space?" Jaekyung asked. "Chae's been calling you for a long time."

L blinked and snapped out of his daze. He faked a smile and stepped on the accelerator.

Would he ever know what to do?