Retrace II

Perfectly Imbalanced

 

 

 


 

“Are you sure you can do this?”

 

Baekhyun snorts. “Chen, please, I’ve been to sorts of trouble back in London. Dressing up, pretending or whatever is nothing,”

 

Chen sighs, although the worry doesn’t fade. “Alright, if you say so.” He fixes the clip on Baekhyun’s hair—or wig—then his own tie. This is where it starts; Chen asking Baekhyun for a favor to pretend as his girlfriend for one night to get back on that woman who broke up with him. And then everything just fell into place. They’re walking inside the hall now, greeting several people and often taking drinks. Baekhyun is careful with his moments, doesn’t forget to smile and greet, while his hands rests on Chen’s arm.

 

It’s Chen’s ex’s debut party, or whatever it is, because she finally turned 18. She’s also on her way to establish a solid entertainment career after getting a movie deal—serves as her debut break—with actor Lee Min Ho.

 

“There she is,” Chen whispers nervously as his ex walks towards them.

 

“Hi, Chen, I see you made it,” She—Lina—says. Then her attention shifts to Baekhyun. “And this is?”

 

“My girlfriend,” Chen says. Baekhyun doesn’t miss the slight twitch from Lina.

 

“Oh, I-I see,” Lina takes a deep breath. “I’m glad to see you’re fine Chen,”

 

Baekhyun doesn’t really know how attached these two are to their past relationship but he can feel the tension and it’s bothering him, like he’s about to take a punch for someone who would also punch him.

 

“Miss Lina?”

 

They all turn to the mic and see the host asking for Lina. Lina turns back to them with a forced smile. “Alright. I have to go. I’m glad you’re fine Chen,” She says and grabs her skirt to finally walk away.

 

Baekhyun turns to Chen slowly with a gape. “Just how is that not caring?”

 

“That’s what she told me!” Chen argues.

 

“She’s a woman!” Baekhyun points out. “Look, you have to talk to her. I don’t think she even wants to break up.”

 

“How should I know?!”

 

“Again, she’s a woman.” Baekhyun sighs. “Whatever. I’m going to the comfort room. Talk to her.”  He turns around to leave but immediately runs behind Chen, hiding, when he saw a familiar face walking in the crowd.

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

“It’s Yixing!”

 

Chen traces Baekhyun’s line of sight and sees Yixing shaking hands with Lina’s parents. He raises his eyebrows. “Must be a friend? Why are you hiding?”

 

“What do you mean why? What if he’ll see me?”

 

Chen snorts mockingly. “Oh yeah, dressed like that.”

 

Baekhyun looks down on his dress and idles for a moment before finally realizing Chen’s point. “Oh right,” Though he regrets it immediately after seeing Yixing walking towards them.

 

.

 

Act normal.

 

Flash a smile.

 

Smile.

 

Chen looked at him disgustingly after seeing his forced smile forming wrinkles on his eyes and—I don’t know it looks like some chupakabra . “Please stop,” He whispers and Baekhyun immediately stopped with the smiling.

 

“Hi, Chen right? The famous photographer?” Yixing greets after arriving in front of them.

 

“Uh, yeah,”

 

“Wow, I’m a fan!” Yixing immediately holds out his hand. “My name’s Zhang Yixing. I’ve seen a lot of your works.”

 

Chen immediately shakes Yixing’s hands. “It’s an honor,”

 

“They’re all very good. I was really happy when I found out about you and Lina though I was really sad about what happened,” Yixing says. “But I’m glad I had the chance to meet you,”

 

“Ah, me too. It’s always a pleasure to meet new people,”

 

“Right?” Yixing laughs. “Care to introduce me to your lovely date here?” He stares at Baekhyun for a moment, eyes crooking, before finally speaking. “She looks like someone I know from back in London.”

 

Chen tenses up immediately but even more so Baekhyun. “Oh, r-really?”

 

Yixing nods. “He’s a guy though. Well, I don’t think it’s weird. Most Asians look like each other anyway,” He laughs then (though he’s the only one given that Chen and Baekhyun are getting nervous). “So?”

 

“Oh right,” Chen clears his throat and hopes that they can get through this carefully. “So, uh, this is Baekhyun—“

 

 

.

 

YOU.

 

CHEN.

 

Baekhyun is doing mental screaming and mental killing Chen because now it’s awkward and Yixing is back with staring at him, scrutinizing his features and just ing staring at him with that knowing face and WELL YOU CHEN FOR BLOWING UP EVERYTHING.

 

Yixing is finally convinced when he takes a step forward but Chen blocks him and yells, “BAEKHYUN RUN!”

 

And Baekhyun immediately does, grabbing his skirt and scurries through the crowd.

 

Yixing immediately raises his hand. “SECURITY!” He yells and points at Baekhyun’s direction, or simply, where the brunette wigged girl wearing a pink dress is running.

 

Baekhyun runs faster, cursing mentally because his feet ing hurts because of his ing heels but he doesn’t have time to stop because Yixing’s men are closely trailing behind him and he’s thinking of ways to kill Chen because THIS IS NOT YET HIS TIME TO BE CAUGHT.

 

He turns to the left, using the wall as a pillar to avoid tripping (although he did almost trip) and silently thanks the heavens for giving him a clear pathway.

 

NOT.

 

He curses inwardly the moment he sees a blond noodle-head guy—and a tall one at that—talking to someone on the phone AT THE MIDDLE OF THE HALLWAY—seriously?—with his back turned to Baekhyun.

 

“Hey! Step aside!” Baekhyun yells. “HEY! ARE YOU DEAF?!” He turns behind him and sees Yixing’s men not too close anymore so he runs faster and unfortunately, bumps into the guy.

 

“Ah! !” Baekhyun hears the guy exclaim but he’s just like—“Oh my gosh I’m so sorry you did not ing move”.

 

“,” But he doesn’t have time to now so he has no choice but to pull the guy with him inside an—alas! A storage room! And locks it. Baekhyun leans on the door and breathes heavily. He hears the footsteps passing them and he heaves a sigh of relief when it fades away.

 

The guy clears his throat and Baekhyun immediately turns to him. “Oh, . I’m sorry I dragged you in here so suddenly. I was being chased.” He apologizes. And then he wonders if he has something on his face because the guy’s staring. But Baekhyun doesn’t like awkward silences so he says, “Don’t worry they’re probably gone so you can go out now. I’ll just wait for my friend to pick me up here since I can’t really run around.”

 

The guy only nods. His phone suddenly rang, shocking him, causing the phone to drop on the floor. Baekhyun watches as the guy picks it up and answers the call. “Uh—yeah—hi,”

 

Baekhyun leans his head back as the guy continues talking. “Sehun! Yeah—I’m…I’m gonna go down now.”

 

“…yeah,” The guy then ends the call. Baekhyun sees him smiling at him so he smiles back. “I guess….I should go,”

 

“Yeah, you should. I’m sorry again. Uh, take care?” Baekhyun says, moving out of the doorway.

 

The guy opens the door. “Thanks. You too.” Then off he goes.

 

Baekhyun thinks for a moment.

 

Well, that was weird.

 

He stays there for the next minute until Luhan calls him, informing him that he’s already at the entrance and that Yixing’s men are back inside the hall to continue guarding the place. Baekhyun picks up his gown again and carefully walks outside and into the hallway leading to the entrance.

 

--

 

Yixing almost cracks his phone in annoyance when his men came back with no sign of Baekhyun. He was this close to getting him back but it just had to slip away. He stays outside the hall after giving orders to his men and lets the music fade as he walks further down the hallway. He just needs some fresh air; he’s sweating like a fountain. He finally stops after a few steps and leans on the wall while slowly kneeling down the floor. Not only does he feel so hot, he also feels a bit dizzy. He guesses that it’s because he hasn’t had enough sleep last night but he’s supposed to get used to that already. That or the jet lag.

 

There’s a pair of legs that stopped in front of him and he looks up. He sees a blond guy (he guesses he’s a businessman judging from his clothes) offering his handkerchief. Yixing immediately refuses and tries standing up but failing miserably when he loses his balance. Luckily, the guy caught him before he fell.

 

“Whoa, easy there,” The guy says in English.

 

Yixing immediately stands up straight. “Thank you,” He stops for a moment when he notices the proximity of their faces. The guy has sharp and refined features—beautiful. He notices the guy offering his handkerchief and is going to refuse again but the guy is fast to insist.

 

“I don’t usually offer my handkerchief to some random stranger,”

 

Yixing chuckles. “I don’t accept either but,” He knows this type of man—the type that insists and insists, doesn’t know when to give up. “Thank you,” So he ends up taking the handkerchief to wipe his face.

 

“I’m Wu Fan,” The man—or Wu Fan—says, offering his hand.

 

“Zhang Yixing,” Yixing immediately shakes his hand. “Wait, Wu Fan? Wu Industries?” Wu Fan nods. “Oh my God I’m so sorry for my behavior earlier!” Yixing bows repeatedly and stops only when Wu Fan touches his shoulders.

 

“It’s fine. There’s a reason why I only introduced my name.” Wu Fan shrugs his shoulders and adds, “It’s no big deal,”

 

“For you,” Yixing says but Wu Fan only laughs at him.

 

“Is that your party?” Wu Fan asks, tilting his head to the direction of the main hall where the lights are beaming out.

 

Yixing nods. “Yeah. Security. How about you? You’re dressed up.”

 

“I was here for a business meeting.”

 

“Oh, right. I should’ve guessed. ” Yixing chuckles. “So, I guess I have to laundry this first before I give it back to you?”

 

“Then that means we’ll have to see each other again,”

 

Yixing smirks. “We will,”

 

--

 

And luckily they did meet—not the kind of second encounter Yixing would imagine though.

 

“THIS IS ABSURD!”

 

Yixing flinches at his father’s hurtful words (he actually thought he’d be used to it by now seeing as he’s been hearing almost the same phrases over and over again ever since stepping into the company).

 

“Look at all the reviews after that event!” His father raises the newspaper along with his voice. “The security wasn’t that great but it all came down to having fun. This is not what I trained you for, Yixing!”

 

Yixing bites his lip. “I’m sorry dad. I’ll do better next time.” He turns around, ought to leave, accepting that he couldn’t take any more than one slap in the face of disappointed words from his father. He hears his father scribbling on his paper, didn’t even take the effort to respond to him. And then his father stops writing and his feet does too.

 

“Are you still looking for him?” His father asks and judging by his tone, he’s not proud of it.

 

“Ye—“

 

“Stop looking for him.”

 

That phrase is like a stab in the heart for him. He turns around and he sees his father staring at him, coldly, stern, so stiff.

 

“His family doesn’t even look for him anymore. Maybe it’s time for you to let go.”

 

That’s right. Everyone has given up. Except for him.

 

“I’m serious Yixing. This is affecting your work ethics. If you’re not going to focus on your work and your position in this company, I’m not going to be responsible for the aftermath.”

 

“I understand.” Yixing says, his voice cracking at the last word.

 

He leaves afterwards. To be honest, his father’s harsh words would just sometimes enter his right ear and leave with the other that he just forgets about it and move on. But he can’t really help but replay those words over and over again, reminding him that he has to do better—no, he has to do best. Being the eldest of his brothers, he has no choice but to carry the burden on his shoulders. But the heaviest burden of all is his hopes to find Baekhyun and bring him back, fix everything, fix him. It’s not easy dealing with the loss of an important person. He has already lost his mother, and the closest assurance he could get is Baekhyun’s presence. Just that. The closest to love he could feel when everyone around him isn’t capable of feeling that word anymore.

 

He slides back into his office, feeling the cold tiles under his feet, tap tap tap. The room feels a lot emptier today and then he realizes that the number of paper works left on his desk is reduced to nothing. He slumped over his chair and sighed heavily, trying to rewind his confrontation with his father just a while ago. Being himself is hard, really hard. He can’t let go of things easily and can’t accept things easily either.

 

Ah, but he has other things to do.

 

He grabbed his phone to contact one of his men, Harold, about the task he gave to him. He turns when he hears a knock on the door and sees Harold holding his phone. “Sir?”

 

“How long have you been there?”

 

“I just arrived.”

 

Yixing side-eyes him and drops his phone. “Okay. Uh, I need a report about Byun Baekhyun.” He says while checking the papers left on his desk; none of them looked needed to be signed. When Harold doesn’t talk, he immediately stops and looks up. “Harold?”

 

“I’m sorry, sir. I stopped the search.”

 

“What do you mean you stopped the search?”

 

Harold idled for a moment before finally deciding to speak, clearing his throat. “Your father ordered us to stop the search.”

 

Yixing didn’t even take a second to think when he slammed his palms on his desk. “What?!”

 

“His secretary came by my office earlier and told us to stop the search.”

 

“How the hell did he know about this?!”

 

“Sir, your father owns this company. I don’t think it’s impossible for him not to know. Especially when it concerns you,”

 

“And you agreed?! You’re under me!”

 

“That’s true but,” Harold sighs. “Your father is still my boss.”

 

Yixing clenches his fists, suddenly being reminded of his lack of power in the company outrages him. “Fine, you can go.”

 

“Sir—“

 

“Go, Harold. I need to be alone.”

 

Harold bows in respect and quietly leaves his office.

 

--

 

It’s been a month, actually, even more than that, Baekhyun think as he stares at his mother’s tomb. And I’m still here, stuck in London, alone and miserable. I really want to go back mom. I really want to see them again, my friends, Luhan, Sehun, Kai…especially Chanyeol. But what can I do? Elliot doesn’t have time to think about the past. They need Elliot here.

 

Even though Baekhyun doesn’t want to be here.

 

Christmas has passed and surprisingly, Baekhyun doesn’t almost remember anything during that period. The most he could remember is going to parties after parties a week before Christmas eve, from Minseok, to Tao’s, then to Yixing’s and due to unexplainable reasons, he also ended up going to Kris’ party and then finally, their party, organized by Tristan. He’s been entering and leaving the company for weeks, coming when the board members are in need of consultation but leaving immediately. He doesn’t want to familiarize himself with that lifestyle, no, not ever. Because he believes that someday, he’ll be able to go back to being Byun Baekhyun. He hasn’t heard any news about his friends back in Korea and there’s no excuse to that, he refused to know at all. He’s scared. He’s scared that when he hears about them, knows what they’re doing, how they are doing, he’ll end up in his room, locked, bawling. But still, his desire to come back doesn’t decrease, if anything, it increases day by day, piling up inside his body, until his heart can’t feel no more.

 

It’s sad.

 

--

 

Luhan flinches when the sound of a glass breaking pierces through his ears. He stares at the pieces of the broken glass at the floor and idles. He kneels down immediately to collect.

 

“Luhan?” He hears Sehun ask from the doorway. “What happened?”

 

“It’s nothing. The glass only slipped.” He replies. He stands up once he has picked the remaining pieces and when he looks up, he immediately sees Chanyeol’s car pass by the front yard with, again, that person. He leans closer to the sink to see through the window.

 

“What’s up?” Sehun asks, walking over.

 

“It’s him again,”

 

Sehun slides beside him to see. “Ah, Kyungsoo.”

 

“He seems to appear more often than before now.” Luhan says as he watches Chanyeol open the door of his car for Kyungsoo. “What’s his relationship with Chanyeol?”

 

Sehun shrugs. “From what I’ve heard from Jongin, Chanyeol knew him from high school.” He suddenly remembers their initial objective for the day and pats Luhan. “Come on, we have to deliver the clothes.”

 

Luhan pouts, not really in the mood to work, but he doesn’t really have any choice when half of the house payment relies on Sehun ever since Baekhyun left. It slipped off his mind and now it has become a problem. The least he could do is find a job to contribute more but with his lack of experience and Korean language expertise, it’s hard to land on a decent job. But thankfully an opportunity arose when he bumped into Hyomin and offered him a job for peace offering. Now he franchises an online clothing shop and re-sells them with the help of Hyomin.

 

He walks in the living room and finds Sehun taking the boxes out one by one. There are only seven all in all and there are only three left so he takes one. He carries one box outside as Sehun walks back to carry the remaining two. It was inevitable to find Chanyeol and his new-found fling outside though.

 

“Hi,”

 

Luhan drops the box on the ground before turning to Kyungsoo. He merely smiles.

 

“We’ve met before, right?” Kyungsoo continues, walking to him. “But we didn’t have a proper introduction. I’m Do Kyungsoo.”

 

Luhan sees him holding out his hand but he hesitates, especially when he can feel that the atmosphere doesn’t seem right. But he shakes it anyway. “Luhan,” He turns to Chanyeol who stood beside him and smiles. “Hey Chanyeol,” Chanyeol looks cranky, stressed even, but even more than that, his eyes scream exhaustion.

 

Luhan doesn’t know what’s his deal with this Kyungsoo is but there are a few things he noticed about the boy; he’s tiny, even tinier than Baekhyun, and just that makes a point that Chanyeol is looking for something he can incorporate with Baekhyun. He’s not knowledgeable about how Chanyeol deals with heartbreak or depression but given his limited information about how none of his supposed girlfriends stuck that long, this is the first time he actually experienced losing someone who’s made a greater impact in his life than his other exes. He can see it through his eyes; the loss, the sadness. It’s not something Chanyeol can hide when it’s only visible when he’s with Baekhyun and now that Baekhyun’s gone, the emptiness just shows itself.

 

Kyungsoo glances at Chanyeol and then back to Luhan wherein his attention was forced to to the boxes he saw Sehun carrying to the car from behind Luhan. “Oh, what’s that?”

 

“Clothes,”

 

“You sell clothes?”

 

Luhan nods.

 

“That’s so cool! Can I see?”

 

Chanyeol clears his throat then and both their attentions shift to him. “We have to go,”

 

Go where? Luhan wanted to ask but to ask himself from awkwardness he decided not to. Besides, it’s quite obvious that Chanyeol doesn’t like standing in front of him.

 

“We have to go too anyway. We have to deliver these to the shop,” Luhan finally says.

 

“Ah, I see. Maybe next time then?”

 

It actually sickens Luhan how Kyungsoo can smile without hesitation when all of them have trouble even finding a reason to. “Yeah,” He breathes. “Next time,” He turns around the same time they do and he makes eye contacts with Sehun to hurry and leave. Sehun just chuckles and immediately runs to the driver’s seat. He stops at the door and looks back at Chanyeol. He watches their backs slowly walking away and it’s weird, it’s weird seeing a different person beside Chanyeol.

 

“Luhan come on,”

 

Luhan opens the door and hops in, pushing all of his thoughts at the back of his mind for a while.

 

And then he starts to wonder if it’s even possible for Baekhyun to come back.

 

 

--

 

He snaps his eyes open when he hears a knock. Ah, I fell asleep, he thinks. He sits up when the door opens and sees Tristan walking in and that’s when he realizes that Tao and Minseok are also in his room, doing their own thing. He remembers now that they came by earlier to play –according to Minseok, he uses that term as substitute for hang out—but he’s too tired and he needs sleep.

 

“Hello,” Tristan says, his tone rising at the last syllable.

 

“What?”

 

Tristan stares at him for a moment before speaking again. “What is this marriage I hear about?” Immediately, both Minseok and Tao turn to him, eyes wide.

 

“Marriage?!” They yell.

 

Baekhyun groans. He hates it when he has to explain.

 

“With who?” Minseok and Tao ask in unison while climbing up his bed.

 

“Not telling,”

 

Tristan sighs. “Ellie,”

 

“It’s no use. I’m not telling you anything.”

 

“Alright. But since when?”

 

There was a moment of pause. “Last month.”

 

“Last month?!” Minseok and Tao yell in his ears and immediately received a glare.

 

“If you don’t want to tell me anything, I won’t force you,” Tristan tells him. “But please know that if you ever want our help, we will. You don’t have to do something you don’t want to—“

 

“Tristan it’s fine,” Baekhyun says, cutting him off. “It’s fine.”

 

“Alright,” Tristan turns around to leave, his footsteps slowly disappearing behind the door.

 

Baekhyun turns to his friends and sighs when they wouldn’t stop staring. “Guys, like I said, I won’t tell—“

 

“Oh we know.” Minseok says simply.

 

Baekhyun pauses. “…huh?”

 

“We know who it is.”

 

“We only acted like we didn’t so Tristan wouldn’t bother us.” Tao adds with a shrug.

 

“You know it’s Kris?”

 

“Kris? Who’s Kris?” Minseok guffaws. “I thought his name was Wu Fan?”

 

“I thought it was Kevin!” Tao croaks.

 

“Wait,” Baekhyun interrupts them both. “Is this the same tall, self-centered, blond-haired arrogant guy?” Minseok and Tao laughs at how accurate the description was and nods. “Yeah, it’s Kris alright.”

 

“So?” Minseok leans closer to him. “What are you gonna do about it? You’re just going to let that happen?”

 

“Of course I won’t. Never in my life would I want to be partnered up with that Angry Bird for the rest of my life,” Because there’s only one person. “But I don’t see anything I can do for now.”

 

Tao sighs. “Hyung, you never change. You still act slowly.”

 

“I don’t act slowly. I’m just waiting for the right time to move,”

 

Minseok chuckles in a mocking tone. “Yeah, keep telling yourself that and you’ll get to your destination before it’s too late.” Baekhyun pauses. “But it’s your call so do what you think is right.”

 

“I’m trying,” Baekhyun says, almost whining. “Besides, I still have other things to mind for now.”

 

Minseok shoots up. “Oh that’s right! Your new hotel is opening soon, right? Where was it again? Paris?” Baekhyun nods. “When is it?”

 

“Two days from now.”

 

“Ah, I have a business meeting. I can’t come.” Minseok turns to Tao. “How about you, peach?”

 

Tao pretends to think. “I don’t think I’m allowed at the airport for now.”

 

Baekhyun raises his eyebrows. “Eh? Why not?”

 

Minseok heaved a long sigh. “Remember when we went to Japan last week? He brought a sword with him and wouldn’t surrender it to the security.”

 

“What? Why do you have a sword?”

 

Tao shrugs. “Well, it was for protection. We’re going to a different country and we don’t know what will happen there.”

 

“You’re crazy,” Minseok says simply. “Last time we went to Paris he brought a rifle with him. His father told him to stop travelling for a while or else their name is going down with him.”

 

“It’s not my fault,”

 

“The hell it is.”

 

Baekhyun pouts. “So I’m going alone then?”

 

“Yixing will be there.”

 

“Yixing?”

 

“Who else is going to serve as your protection there? You’re not an ordinary person. Especially after your little show during the banquet went viral.” Minseok teases.

 

“Ah right,” Baekhyun sighs and lies back down. “Come to think of it. Yixing’s acting odd lately,”

 

 

 

--

 

 

Yixing’s second encounter with Kris after their first meeting in Korea wasn’t really what he imagined it to be. It just came without warning, caught him off guard, when he slipped a coin on the vending machine at their hallway and a hand pressed a button even before he can. He immediately turned beside him, his anger quickly fading when he found Kris taking a sip from the cola he got from his penny.

 

“Hey, you,”

 

Kris turns to him. “My handkerchief is worth more than this drink,”

 

“What are you doing here?”

 

“What else would a CEO do in another company?”

 

Yixing quickly catches up. “You’re…investing?”

 

“Was,”

 

“You…were turned down?”

 

Kris shrugs. “Maybe I overestimated myself. I kind of relied on the fact that you’ll save me but I was surprised to find out you weren’t the one who’ll evaluate me. Things happen, I guess,”

 

This makes everything even more confusing for Yixing. First of all, his position is just below his father’s, so every affairs in the company has to pass by him before it gets to his father and that includes evaluating investors, who to turn down and who not to turn down.

 

“But it’s no biggie. Hey, since I used your penny, what do you say about coffee?”

 

“Coffee will have to wait. I have to go somewhere.” Yixing says and quickly walks away.

 

Kris blinks. “I’ll call you?”

 

 

 

 

 

Yixing literally slams the door to his father’s office, immediately startling the board members who are present. “Dad!”

 

His father immediately stands up to adjourn the meeting. “Let’s end here for now.” Yixing waits until all of the board members have left before walking over to his father’s desk. “What now?”

 

“I was supposed to evaluate the investor!”

 

“What do you want me to do? You’re in no position to take over. In fact, you haven’t redeemed yourself from your latest loss just yet.”

 

“But—“

 

“Yixing, may I remind you that everything you do in this company is pointed right back at you, you can lose your position anytime. If you’re not going to do anything to reestablish that image you worked so hard for over the years, I can’t give you the privileges you deserve. It’s not just given to you, Yixing, you earn it.”

 

He knew that but somehow, somewhere in his mind, he was convinced that he had already earned it. But the reality slapped him with the fact that he has earned absolutely nothing. His name, his reputation and his image were all given by his father and he hasn’t done anything by himself to earn that kind of respect people have with his father.

 

“What should I do?”

 

“Get your head back in the game. You’re not a child anymore. You know what to do.”

 

He’s not entirely sure what, even how, but at that moment, he had a vision—he saw himself failing and failing and failing, to the point where success is a blur. And it’s true. Because everything he attempted to do to redeem himself, they all just fall in disappointment. He kept on failing and failing and failing, one after another, losing and losing and losing. Sometimes, it even feels like a joke. How can someone be this unfortunate?

 

However, there was always that one person who managed to catch him in his worst state.

 

It just came as a surprise.

 

“Come to think of it,” Kris starts. “Your father does seem cranky lately,”

 

“Are you spying on him?”

 

“Does spying means watching his interviews on the television? Because yeah,”

 

Yixing rolls his eyes and sighs. “Why do you even do that? He turned you down,”

 

“Yup,” Kris smirks. “But I’m interested on what you do,”

 

“There’s nothing interesting on what I do.”

 

“Of course there is.”

 

“You’re wasting your time,”

 

“Oh?” Kris leans closer to the table. “But I’m not. You interest me more than the upcoming Olympics. Don’t you feel flattered?”

 

“Only a fool would feel flattered,”

 

Kris fakes a pained expression. “You’re hurting me,”

 

“Good. At least you’re capable of feeling pain,”

 

Kris laughs at him—really laughs. And Yixing wants to laugh with him but he can’t help but watch him, watch as his face softens, watch was his eyes smile like crescent. He’s heard Kris laugh before, but they were more like a sinister laugh, but this laugh, this laugh came from pure joy.

 

“Sorry, I don’t usually laugh out loud. You just make me happy for some reason,”

 

“It’s fine.” You can laugh all you want. It’s refreshing.

 

 

 

 

And that’s one thing Yixing regrets— losing that side of Kris. Kris has always been a mystery to him. He’s used to reading people even before talking to them, knowing them. But Kris has always been hard to read. Kris has always been different. He shows emotions when necessary and hides them when not but when he hides them, Yixing could never find it. It’s there but it’s not. He’s sure but unsure.

 

But there’s no use regretting about the past.

 

 

 

 

“We’re bankrupt,” Yixing says, his voice cracking at the last word, as he stands in front of Kris on his flat. He doesn’t even know why he came to Kris of all people but he finally understands when Kris pulled him closer, hugging him. Yixing thinks about the people that his father had to fire because of their crisis, all the dreams, all the balance that was broken and he sobs.

 

“It’s okay,”

 

It’s not. But for some reason, Kris makes it okay.

 

And that’s when he started to get scared. He’s scared he’ll need Kris. He’s scared of needing people.

 

He’s scared of losing the people he needs the most.

 

He couldn’t almost recover from the loss of Baekhyun’s presence.

 

This wouldn’t be an exception.

 

Even more than that, the company now relies on him.

 

 

 

 

 

Kris watches as Amanda fires the last bullet on the board, her stance and focus ever so endearing. They’re at the shooting range Van der Gilt owns which is closed for the day. Why? Simply because the owner is here. One day of no profits doesn’t damage them that much. Amanda takes off her earpiece after Kris does and fiddles with the gun on her hand.

 

“I did what you told me to do,” Amanda tells him. “I hired Yixing. Now your turn,”

 

Kris smirks at her. “I’m already on it.”

 

“Good.” Amanda turns around to leave the cubicle.

 

Kris immediately follows her. “Though I’m quite curious on why you want that CEO to fall so bad,”

 

“Let’s just say I don’t like him and when I don’t like something I get rid of it,” Amanda says so naturally, as if it’s the most natural thing to do. “He’s full of himself, even belittling us when he turned down our invitation for the banquet. Surprisingly, it’s his loss after all.” She grabs her bag and glasses from the bench. “I heard he’s delivering some equipment to Singapore,”

 

“Oh? A little fast now, are we?”

 

“Now, now, I’m helping you to impress me, Wu Fan,” Amanda croons. “Bomb it,”

 

 

--

 

Luhan looks up when he hears the shop’s bell rings. He smiles at the sight of Chen finally making his appearance after a week or so of trying to contact him. “So you finally decided to show up?” Luhan asks, chuckling.

 

“You’re lucky I thought of checking my old e-mail,” Chen replies. “I changed my e-mail remember?”

 

“What? I didn’t know.”

 

“What do you mean? Baekhyun didn’t tell you?” Chen immediately regrets his statement. “Ah, he hasn’t contacted you?”

 

“Nope, for a month or so,” Luhan tells him. “I’m starting to get worried,”

 

“Huh, you should be more worried about Do Kyungsoo,”

 

Luhan pauses, slight caught off guard with Chen’s straightforwardness. “You know him?”

 

Chens shrugs. “Not personally. But Baekhyun asked me to research about him before,”

 

“Wait, why?”

 

“He met him at a restaurant and kind of just picked up a fight with him. I mean, it’s probably normal for him to meet es who don’t like him but he felt slightly different about Do Kyungsoo. So yeah. Never doubt Queen B’s instincts,” Chen explains with a slight chuckle.

 

“So, what did you find?”

 

“He’s from Chanyeol’s school but moved in his 3rd year to Canada. He continued his studies there then he moved back here. He’s a psychologist,”

 

Luhan’s jaws drop. “He’s a what?”

 

“A psychologist. A brilliant one for his age, to be quite honest. Strange, right? I mean, why would a psychologist be working at a restaurant?”

 

Luhan sighs. “I knew there was something.”

 

“Let’s not jump into conclusions. Maybe he’s just a friend.”

 

“If it’s a friend he needs, there’s Sehun. There’s definitely something wrong. Chanyeol isn’t saying anything to Sehun, at least not how he used to. Not even Kai can get a word from him except when they talk about work. It’s unbelievable.”

 

It’s Chen who sighs this time as the desperation is obvious in Luhan’s tone. “Let’s say there is, what are you going to do about it?”

 

There isn’t any reason to drag this thought even further because, “Nothing.” There’s certainly nothing he can do but, “I can only know. I’ll know but I’ll do nothing.” Because he’s sick and tired of trying to fix someone else when he’s also close to being damaged. For some reason, this concept had always saved him, saved his sadness to develop into so much more—violence, suicide even. But the other party wouldn’t benefit that much, at least not personally. Baekhyun’s strong but he’s emotionally weak. He talks about love like it’s the stupidest thing to exist in the world. But look at him now, caught in between his words, burning him. Maybe this time, Baekhyun will actually learn.

 

“Really?” Chen asks, raising his eyebrows.

 

“Yes. This is between Baekhyun and Chanyeol. There is no Luhan, or Sehun, Kai even, between Baekhyun and Chanyeol.” It’s always just Baekhyun and Chanyeol. “There’s your answer,”

 

“You surprise me.” Chen smirks and eventually chuckles. “Then again, I’ve always wondered why of all people, Queen B actually considers you a level higher,”

 

“Does he really…have that kind of reputation in London?”

 

“Back in high school, yeah. Always the mysterious one. Always standing on top, never looking down. That’s why it’s fun, for me at least, seeing him transform into someone much much more vulnerable, like a baby.” Luhan doesn’t know the joy of it but he can see it in Chen and on the way Chen describes Baekhyun, that the Baekhyun he knows now is a lot, a million more, different than the Baekhyun he knew. “But it’s also dangerous. Baekhyun’s powerful. But love just makes him so weak.”

 

It does. Luhan has seen it, Baekhyun’s power. He always knows what to do, what to say, what to think. That side of him saved his life a lot of times actually. But there was one thing Baekhyun made sure he understands.

 

“No,” Luhan breathes. “That’s not Baekhyun. That’s Elliot.” Elliot is powerful. Baekhyun is vulnerable.

 

“You’re right. But,” Chen pauses and takes a step back. “We’ll never know who will come back here. Will it be Elliot or Baekhyun?” Somehow, something at the way Chen stated that built up sudden feelings of doubt inside Luhan. “We both know his emotions are his greatest disadvantage.”

 

“He’ll be fine,”

 

“You’ll say that.” Chen smirks and finally turns around, opening the door slowly, and quietly leaves the shop, leaving Luhan hanging for a moment.

 

Please be fine.

 

Please.

 

--

 

“Mr. Zhang!”

 

Yixing snaps in a second, immediately realizing he’s been day dreaming. He turns around and sees Harold walking his way, looking a bit in a hurry. “What?”

 

“You walk too fast. I’ve been calling you. You’re walking the wrong direction.”

 

“Oh, sorry.”

 

“It’s fine. It’s this way, sir.”

 

Yixing takes a step to follow Harold but immediately stops when he smells something, something that stings him, like poison to his heart, because realizing how familiar it is is poison. “Harold.”

 

“Mr. Zhang?”

 

“You go on ahead,”

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“I’ll be fine. I’ll know my way.”

 

“Alright. If you say so, sir.” Harold quickly leaves.

 

Yixing walks a further back, quietly, and slowly. When he finally reached the end of the wall in the intersection, he leaned near the edge, where the perfume smells a lot stronger.

 

“Oh for Christ’s sake! You’re a psychologist!”

 

Wu Fan, he thinks. He doesn’t peek, he just listens, and judging by the tone of his yell, he’s talking to someone on the phone.

 

“I hired you to change him, bring him back to how he used to be; a beast, a monster. He’s not a good man and I’ve seen it. He needs to fall and the only way he will is for his own heart to break even more. Make him desperate for survival. Make him despise love.” Kris says so confidently and naturally that it takes Yixing back to the past, to the reason why he almost despised the man who had showed him love. “Break him. Break Park Chanyeol.”

 

Yixing covers his mouth immediately as he gasps.

 

And he almost feels so sad.

 

You never change, Wu Fan.

 

You’re still…cruel.

 


 

 

A/N:

subbies, please don't ignore this chapter.

lol there are a lot of hints in here

i'll edit this tomorrow. (or later, it's already passed midnight -.-)

-gelie

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Comments

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idk----
#1
thank you for the story!
o3villem
#2
Chapter 40: This story is sooo funny, I came back to read a lil bit, for fun.
o3villem
#3
Chapter 38: It ended😭😭😭
Loved it.
o3villem
#4
Chapter 38: Ok I love this story a lot, if was really funny, but there were so many things which were not discussed, I wished Author wrote all those things also, like how Chanyeol and Kyungsoo started dating, or if they dating at all, when they broke up, Kai and Kyungsoo, also Amanda whereabouts, like Yixing caught her in the beach ( I think, it was not written so who knows), so I really had to assume, I was confused this whole time, and what happened after Chanyeol and Baekhyun went to have breakfast together at the lunch.
I really wished that Author nim mentioned all such things.
But other than that, the story is gold.
o3villem
#5
Chapter 22: I didn't expect Kyungsoo to play as a bad psychologist.
o3villem
#6
Chapter 22: Man, I just got that feeling that Kyungsoo is a psychologist, man my presumptions. I just had that gut feeling, I am also a psychology student, and when Chanyeol and Kyungsoo were together, I just thought maybe Chanyeol needs a councelor.
Well well well, turns out I was true.
I really like when my guesses turns true while reading fics.
Sparkleinhereyes
#7
I love this story ❤️
Sparkleinhereyes
#8
I love this story ❤️
Chabaekiii #9
Omgggg this is good af this is exactly what I wanted thank you very much I felt so proud when it is said "pinaupong manok" which is me knowing na phixo yung author stfu filipino fanfic authors are so damn good anyway, I love how the story is going everywhere! Mostly, I laughed my out loud throughout the story! God bless!