Junmyeon slowly opened his eyes and stretched his limbs across the bed, not entirely happy that he only got about three hours of sleep, but he was already awakened by the clock on his bedside table. He blindly reached out an arm to turn off the alarm and settled back down once the shrill sound ceased. He didn't want to get up but it was Saturday and later that night was the all important launching party at KSE for Kyungsoo and Lu Han.

It was actually the reason why he came home late last night. They had been preparing for the event for the past month and all the things they needed were all finally ironed out about a week ago, yet Junmyeon couldn't help but feel anxious anyway when he was double-checking his to-do-list yesterday. Anything could go wrong, and they really couldn't afford that. Needless to say, Kyungsoo and Lu Han's debut as a duo was, by far, the biggest risk and venture KSE had taken since the company was established, so they had to make sure that everything was nothing but perfect.

As expected, the two singers were already prepared, seeing as they were both professionals on their own before becoming a duo, so Junmyeon didn’t worry about them too much. He just hoped that the public would appreciate them and  give them the support they deserved.

Alas, he forced himself to get up, yawning once more. Junmyeon's eyes landed on the yellow slip of paper beside his alarm clock. The EM's address. He barely stopped himself from burying his head under the covers again when he remembered how he got it for it was quite an embarrassing moment to say the least.

He tried putting off finding the address to the last minute because he really had no intention of picking up the manager from his house and going together with him to the party. Because that would make him his date, wouldn't it? But for all his unwillingness, he didn't even think of just simply marching towards Manager Zhang and telling him that he wouldn't pick him up. Instead, they had just continued with their usual squabbling and bickering whenever they met at KSE that whole week.

Then yesterday, it was too late to cancel, so he was unfortunately left with no other choice but to ask his assistant to get him the manager's address because, of course, he couldn't just ask Yixing himself even if that was the only way to go. The woman was caught off guard and astonished and looked at him as if he sprouted another head on his shoulders.

"You need his address, sir? May I ask what for?" His assistant knew how he and Manager Zhang were not on good terms.

"It's, um," he said, stalling as he didn't expect to be questioned about it and he didn't want anyone to know that he was practically bullied into escorting the EM. Yeah, bullied.

"I have, um, some papers and documents to send him so I need his address," he awkwardly lied.

"Oh. Why don't you just give me the documents, Mr. Kim? I'll just send them for you," she said before smiling and Junmyeon inwardly cursed at why his assistant had to be so kind.

"It's okay, I'll do it. I just--"

"No need to worry, sir. It's my job to send your correspondences for you."

"No. I just... I just really need his address." He could feel a blush climbing to his cheeks. "It's, um, personal."

The woman threw him another surprised, quizzical look which then slowly turned into a knowing stare. "Oh."

Junmyeon groaned. What did she even mean with Oh?

He returned his gaze to the paper and sighed. Adding on top of the pressure of tonight's event was the need to look good, because it wouldn't do for Kim Junmyeon to look less than perfect when he came to call on Zhang Yixing.

 

 

 

 

 

Chanyeol was standing outside on his room’s balcony and leaning against the railing. He looked up at the clear morning sky and took a deep breath. Everything depended on tonight's party.

Everything.

Although he had proven himself countless of times before, a successful launch would further seal and secure his reputation as a competent president of KSE, just like his father had been. He knew they were ready. He and his staff made sure that everything would sail smoothly, everyone prepared for any and every possibility that could happen.

But he wasn't as confident on another matter that had occupied his thoughts since last week.

When he came home from Kyungsoo's he had decided that tonight would be the night he would confess his feelings to his best friend. He realized he had waited long enough and he couldn't put it off any longer. There was really no reason not to do it. He already told Jongin about what he felt and his cousin was okay with it. He said so himself.

Baekhyun knew what he felt for Kyungsoo, too.

Not that the knowledge of Baekhyun knowing had anything to do with his decision. Sure, he felt some sort of attachment to the pup, but that was just normal since they have been living together for some time now. That doesn't mean he needed Baekhyun's permission to do anything at all. The pup doesn't have anything to do with it.

But dammit, if he was being honest, part of what actually pushed him to get this over with was Byun Baekhyun--the source of all his troubles. Chanyeol was tired of feeling weird and lost and downright confused. He had known him for one month, just a month, but it felt like he had been swept into this chaos for much longer than that. He just wanted everything to go back to the way it was, when all the lines were clear, and everything was simply black or white. He wanted to go back to the time when all he knew was that he loved Kyungsoo.

He didn’t want to be plagued by bright eyes that sparkled when the pup smiled nor by the musical laughter that followed him even in his dreams. Nothing had been normal since Baekhyun poked him with that Starling lightstick of his.

He heard a movement beside him, pulling him from his thoughts. He looked down and saw the very cause of his inner turmoil, smiling up at him and seemingly untouched by whatever it was that was driving Chanyeol crazy.

"Hey, potato-ahjussi. I've been calling you but you weren't answering. Halmeoni already left," the shorter boy said while pulling up the collar of those damned pink pajamas. Channie was still embroidered on the pocket and Chanyeol was once again reminded that Baekhyun was his.

You're mine but why can't I make you do what I want? Why can't I get you out of my head?

"Are you alright?" Baekhyun asked with a slight frown appearing when he didn't answer. The guy lifted his left hand and touched Chanyeol's forehead before placing his right hand on his own temple. "Your temperature's okay. You can't still be sick, right?"

Chanyeol felt the warm fingers touch him and he recalled the past weekend, when Baekhyun had done the same action more times than he could count while he was down with the cold. The fever felt like hell, like someone was pounding relentlessly on his head. The only relief he had was when the pup would sit beside him on his bed and run his hand through his hair while murmuring words that made the aches swiftly disappear. He had always been a bad patient but Baekhyun somehow still put up with him no matter how demanding and obtuse he got.

But this time, the touch was making him feel weird so he stepped back and the contact was lost. "I'm fine."

"But you look kind of pale," the boy said thoughtfully. "Is it the party tonight? Are you nervous?" Baekhyun laughed at himself. "Well, what am I saying? Of course you're nervous! It's a very important event and I know you've been working hard all week. But remember you're Park Chanyeol and everything you say is law. So if you say that the party will be a success, then it will be."

It isn't that at all, stray pup.

"Baekhyun... Tonight..." Chanyeol shook his head. "Aish. Forget about it."

"What is it? It's obviously troubling you. Tell me. We're friends, right?" Baekhyun beamed at him.

Friends? Yes, they have become friends. More so since their afternoon at the park. Since then, they had settled into a routine: breakfast, drive together to work, drive back from work, dinner, and sleep. Well, sleep for the pup while he was left with troubled thoughts and exhausted slumber. What could it hurt if he told Baekhyun about his plan? He needed someone to talk to anyway or else he'd explode.

"I'm... Tonight, I'm going to confess to Kyungsoo."

Chanyeol waited for the other's reaction with bated breath. He saw Baekhyun's face freeze before he quickly looked away. He stared at him intently, trying to look for some kind of reassurance, something that would tell him what he was doing was right. It didn't take long for Baekhyun to return his gaze, though, and the smile was firmly back in place.

"That's great, Chanyeol. Took you long enough," the boy said with a small laugh.

Was that a tremor he heard in Baekhyun's voice? He couldn't be sure. Why was it even important that he knew what Baekhyun thought? He wouldn't change his mind. But what was this? Why does it feel like he couldn't breathe?

"I'm nervous," Chanyeol blurted out and he wanted to hide because what the hell did he just say?

There was a look of surprise in Baekhyun's face but it was quickly replaced by a bright smile.

Maybe a bit too bright, he thought.

"In our club handbook, Article I, Section 2.9, A Starling must do his best to make Do Kyungsoo happy. And I know Park Chanyeol can do it because," Baekhyun paused to look him in the eye, "potato-ahjussi can make anyone happy."

Chanyeol felt something grab at his chest at those words. Do I make people happy? Byun Baekhyun, do I make you happy?

Now he was the one who looked away. "That's impossible."

"But it isn't. Park Chanyeol is the best potato," the pup said before giving him a thumbs up.

"I'm not. What if Kyungsoo doesn't love me back?" He ran his hand through his hair. It was possible. Kyungsoo could reject him and just thinking about it hurt.

"I am a Starling and I'm really not allowed to say this but... he'd be a fool not to love you," the shorter boy said seriously.

Chanyeol let out a snort. "Yeah, right."

Baekhyun tsked and crossed his arms across his chest. "Remember the first night I came to your apartment? When you asked me to help you with your date in exchange for letting me stay here?"

Of course, how could Chanyeol ever forget? He nodded.

"Then let me help you."

"How could you possibly help me?" he asked with a raised brow.

"Let's pretend," the pup said. "Let's pretend that I'm Do Kyungsoo. We're in the party and you're alone with me." Baekhyun straightened. "I'll stand here and you... You confess to me."

"That's ridiculous." Chanyeol scoffed. How could he pretend?

"Well, at least you get to practice. And I can tell you if you're doing it wrong."

"How would you know if I'm doing it wrong? Have you confessed before?" Chanyeol saw Baekhyun falter a bit, but then the pup flashed him a confident smile seconds later.

"No. But you haven't as well. Honestly, between the two of us, I think I know more about it than you do. I'm older," Baekhyun said defensively.

"We were born just six months apart."

"But still. Come on, potato-ahjussi. Stop being scared or I'll call you chicken-ahjussi," Baekhyun teased. "Besides, I'll do it for free."

"Fine. Don't laugh or I'll throw you off the railing, okay?" Chanyeol threatened in response.

Baekhyun gave him a wide grin and another thumbs up. Chanyeol could feel his palms sweating. Why did he even agree? Yeah, Baekhyun was able to help him with his date last time but this was different. A whole lot of different.

"You can start now."

Chanyeol felt queasy. He cleared his throat. "Kyungsoo... This is stupid." It was stupid because he couldn't not see that Baekhyun was the one in front of him in his pink pajamas instead of Kyungsoo.

"It's not. I know that I don't look anything like Kyungsoo," Baekhyun glanced down at his feet. "But just pretend for a little while. At least we're kind of the same height," he ended with a conscious laugh.

"Okay." Chanyeol took a step closer. "Let's pretend."

His height forced Baekhyun to have to look up at him and the smiles quickly disappeared. It was just the two of them and Chanyeol deliberately reminded himself that this wasn't real.

"Kyungsoo, we've been together for so long. I mean, we grew up together and you pretty much know everything about me. I'd like to believe that I know you, too. I know what would make you happy or what would make you sad and--" Chanyeol paused as he saw Baekhyun looking at him expectantly. "And you're--" He knew what he was supposed to say, but the rest of his words got stuck in his throat.

The image of Kyungsoo he tried so desperately to hold onto in his head faded and soon there was one thing left. It was only Baekhyun--his eyes, his nose, that mole above his mouth--all of him and nothing else. And at that moment, his feelings were too much to bear. The rest of the words he tried to suppress came spilling out.

"You're stubborn and impossible and damnit, you make me want to hit my head on any hard surface I can find. God, you don't know just how much I want to. I keep thinking of you and even if I try, I can't stop it. You occupy my thoughts because... you're beautiful and smart and impertinent and you smile as if you don't care but you do." He stepped closer. "Sometimes, no, most of the time, I want to just look at you because maybe then I can find the answer to the weirdness I'm feeling whenever you're around. It's insane and I don't understand anything at all. It's frustrating and maddening. I really just want to be free of you."

Chanyeol closed the remaining distance between them, helplessly pulled in. He cupped Baekhyun's jaw and tilted his face up so he could see his eyes clearly and demand some answers. But he just ended up drowning in them again. He traced Baekhyun's cheek slowly with his thumb and there was a lot more he wanted to say but the words seemed superfluous.

He spoke almost in a resigned whisper. "I'm tired but why can't I seem to let you go? I want you to be mine and damnit, I... I want to be yours. Tell me, am I really in love with you?"

 

 

 

 

 

Let's pretend.

Of all the stupid ideas Baekhyun has ever come up with, this would definitely take the crown.

Why couldn't he have just said a cheery fighting and went on his way? Why did he have to stick his foot in and volunteer to help Chanyeol with his confession?

You are one dumb masochist, Byun Baekhyun.

But it was too late to back out now and Chanyeol already agreed. This wasn't so bad was it? At least even in make-believe, Baekhyun would get to hear Chanyeol tell him he loved him. There was a pinch in his heart that became a deep hole when he heard the potato say Kyungsoo's name.

“This is stupid” Chanyeol muttered.

It was, but Baekhyun just wanted to help Chanyeol any way he could. And he thought maybe if Chanyeol said his feelings out loud, he wouldn't be so nervous and... Kyungsoo would tell Chanyeol he loved him, too.

"It's not. I know that I don't look anything like Kyungsoo," he said and he had to look down because it was kind of painful to realize that he wasn't near anything Chanyeol would want. "but just pretend for a little while. At least we're kind of the same height." He forced a laugh and breathed easier when Chanyeol said okay.

Byun Baekhyun, you shouldn't, in any circumstance, let your smile slip. You shouldn't show any emotion no matter what. You shouldn't--

But it was hard to be indifferent when Chanyeol said that Kyungsoo knew him in a way Baekhyun could never know because in the end, he couldn't compare the month of Baekhyun and Chanyeol to the lifetime of Chanyeol and Kyungsoo.

He was puzzled, though, when Chanyeol suddenly stopped and Baekhyun felt something change. The potato's eyes were no longer blank and he looked almost upset. Then he started speaking again and Baekhyun was taken aback with the sudden emotion behind every word, it was as if Chanyeol was saying the words to him.

Baekhyun, this is just pretend.

The taller guy came closer and it was difficult to stay unaffected. Because it was Kyungsoo who was beautiful and smart and everything but Chanyeol was looking at him. The things he was saying wasn't what he expected Chanyeol to say and it made his heart thud faster until he could barely stop himself from just snatching Chanyeol to him, just to erase that frustration he could hear in his voice. Kyungsoo how could you make him this way?

But pretend or not, Baekhyun wasn't expecting Chanyeol to cup his face and for it to feel as if he was precious to him, as if Byun Baekhyun was special.

"I'm tired but why can't I seem to let you go? I want you to be mine and damnit, I... I want to be yours. Tell me, am I really in love with you?"

"I--"

But then he couldn't speak at all because Chanyeol's mouth was suddenly touching his and his arms were pulling him tight against his chest. Then his brain shorted out, and there was a rushing in his ears but mostly there was just Chanyeol, everywhere, his body surrounding his, his hands, his lips, everything about Chanyeol wiping reality away.

Chanyeol pulled him impossibly closer and tilted his head, making the kiss deeper and all Baekhyun could think of was I love you... Love me, too. And then, he couldn't think at all as Chanyeol's mouth slanted across his, shutting down his thoughts, and causing his knees to weaken.

Baekhyun tiptoed and held onto his shoulders, closing his eyes completely, and all there was in the world was Chanyeol and him, just the two of them. In this make-believe moment, they were in love.

He had never wanted anything so much in his life as much as he wanted for Chanyeol to know that it was Baekhyun in his arms and for this not to end. But life had never been on Baekhyun's side, because Chanyeol abruptly pulled back and his face was full of dread as he realized what just happened.

"Baekhyun, I.. I'm sorry."

I'm not, he thought as he watched Chanyeol leave. He bit his lip to stop it from quivering.

“Tell me, am I really in love with you?”

I hope so because I'm in love with you, Baekhyun would have answered. If only Chanyeol's words were for him.

 

 

 

 

 

Jongin laid out the clothes on his bed, the ones he was going to wear to the party tonight. He eyed the all black ensemble--a simple black button up shirt and slim jeans--and wondered if it was suitable for the event. He shrugged. It really didn’t matter since he wasn't there to parade himself and he wasn’t trying to stand out anyway.

He was only attending because he was the head of Promotions and it was an important event for Kyungsoo. He felt frustrated because he hadn’t seen his friend all week. He knew Kyungsoo was busy practicing, Jongin was quite busy himself, but he was still disappointed that he couldn't even get a short hello from him. It was useless to pretend that he wasn't jealous when he finally got a return message and it was only for Kyungsoo to say that he was going with Chanyeol to the launch. He knew Chanyeol liked Kyungsoo, maybe even loved him, but it didn’t stop Jongin from feeling the same way too.

He couldn't blame Chanyeol for falling for their friend because Do Kyungsoo was perfect. The problem was Jongin probably realized he loved him too late. More than three years too late.

So how could he even expect Kyungsoo to return his feelings when he left him for all those years and broke their promises to one another? Unlike Chanyeol who spent all those years diligently beside Kyungsoo, supporting him and just plainly being there.

But you have loved him forever, would you just let him go without a fight?

He knew that he wouldn't--that he couldn’t, even if he tried. Jongin really didn't want to hurt his cousin but he was also done with breaking his word and hurting Kyungsoo more than he already has. He promised Kyungsoo that he would be the first to know if he ever fell in love. And he knew he could make Kyungsoo happy, he was determined to. More than Chanyeol could ever do. It was a brazen thought, arrogant even, but it was true. They had something special between them that distance wasn't able to break.

He couldn't fully explain it, but he realized it had always been there. It was the reason why Kyungsoo would run to him first whenever he was happy or when he had a problem. It was the reason why Kyungsoo would reach for his hand whenever he was nervous. It explained why Jongin found comfort in Chanyeol's presence when his parents died but only cried when Kyungsoo held him in his arms. Jongin was just too dense to see it before.

He resolved to tell Kyungsoo his feelings, however he couldn’t deny that he wasn't nervous and afraid. What if Kyungsoo chose Chanyeol over him? Because it could happen. And it was scary for him to think of being all alone when it did. What would he do then? In a moment of weakness, Jongin took out his phone and scrolled down his contacts list. He needed an ally. He could ask babe to go with him since Sehun was going to the party anyway but just imagining his friend's eternally blank face made him change his mind. He needed someone who'd support him and not someone who'd just tell him ‘I told you so’. His eyes caught on a name, Byun Baekhyun.

Without a second thought, he pressed on the dial button and waited for his friend to pick up.

"Hello, Jongin-ssi?"

"Baekhyun, hi," he replied. "Are you busy?"

"Oh, no. Not really."

"I kind of need your help. It's about the party tonight. I know it's short notice but... Can you come with me?" Jongin was a little embarrassed with how weak he sounded.

There was silence on the other line and Jongin had a sinking feeling that Baekhyun would say no.

"Um, but I don't think I fit there. I mean, I don't even have suitable clothes to wear even if I agree to come with you," Baekhyun said with a self-deprecating laugh.

Jongin felt bad that he was somehow asking too much from Baekhyun but he couldn't think of anyone else. And he hated to hear that self-conscious tone in the other's voice as if Baekhyun thought that he wasn't good enough.

"You'd fit in perfectly, Baekhyun. You're more fun to be with than most of the people there, I assure you. And if it's the clothes you're worried about... I could help with that," he tried to sound confident but he was really failing at it.

"I just really need someone to come with me," He felt like he was beginning to sound desperate. There was another pause but Jongin sighed in relief when he heard a timid okay from Baekhyun. "Thank you. This really means a lot to me. By the way the party starts at 7PM but since I'm the head for Promotions I have to be there earlier. Can I pick you up at around 4:30? So we'll have time to prepare. Just give me your address so--"

"Oh, no! It's alright. Um, I'll just take the bus to your place."

"But--"

"It's okay, Jongin-ssi. I just need your address."

Jongin was grateful enough that he didn't even bother questioning Baekhyun's reluctance to be picked up. He gave him the directions to his flat and said another heartfelt thanks to Baekhyun. He ended the call with a decidedly lighter heart.

Now all he needed was to stop his knees from shaking with the daunting thought of finally confessing to Kyungsoo.

 

 

 

 

 

"Where the hell are you? Because last time I checked, you are still my manager and managers aren't supposed to abandon their talents just like that. Call me ASAP," Lu Han spoke into his cell phone, beyond annoyed. That was the fifth voice message he had left on Yixing's number but he hadn’t heard back from the other guy at all yet.

The last time he saw him was about an hour ago, when they arrived here at KSE early so Lu Han could dress into his wardrobe for tonight and maybe squeeze in another practice with Kyungsoo. He was on edge and his stomach felt tight because , he was nervous. Who wouldn't be? Sure, Lu Han was used to performing live in front of thousands of fans but this was different. Tonight, they were going to show the first teaser where he and Kyungsoo would appear together in. It was a prelude to his debut in another country and he was fidgety and really, where the hell was that damned Zhang Yixing? He should be here before Lu Han's nerves snap and he unleashes his not so angelic side.

The party has started. The large function room at the nineteenth floor was full of people, all dressed to impress. He caught a glimpse of a silver head among the crowd and he tensed.  He let out a relieved breath when he saw that it was just one of the backup dancers. But then he gritted his teeth in irritation when he realized the Angel of the East was nervous all because of a rookie photographer.

What set him more on edge was the fact that somewhere in this room was the obnoxious Oh Sehun and it was inevitable that they would meet. But to be honest, he had to admit, he was still unprepared to set eyes on the silver-haired boy after the debacle last Thursday.

He promised himself that he would never ever, ever, see Sehun again but either his brain cells got fried from too much practice or he just loved torturing himself, because last Thursday he found himself at the doorstep of babe's studio. He straightened his shoulders and schooled his features into a bored expression before entering, prepared to forgive Oh Sehun for his obtuseness last week and to pose for him again. After all, Lu Han was the Angel of the East and he never backed down from anything. He couldn't accept that a young, inexperienced guy could have him running away, insecure.

There was a split second where he lost some of his composure when he had found Sehun sitting relaxed behind a desk, obviously expecting him. As if the photographer had known that he would come back. Recovering quickly, Lu Han raised an eyebrow at him.

The corner of the boy's mouth quirked up. It wasn't really a smile but it did strange things to Lu Han which annoyed him more. "Well are we going to start any time soon? I'm a busy person," he said coldly.

Sehun stood up, got his camera from the desk and took a quick shot of Lu Han, to the singer's surprise. "I just wanted to get that look," the younger guy said. "Also, you ran off with my clothes last time."

Lu Han felt heat creeping up on his cheeks. He did run off with the clothes but he didn't know it was Sehun's. He felt flustered but he tried to keep his face straight. I really hate you, Oh Sehun, he thought. He opened his coat, showing he was already wearing the white t-shirt and jeans. "I don't wear things already worn by others," he answered with narrowed eyes.

"It looks good on you though." Sehun shrugged.

Lu Han had a strong urge to just run away again. He looked down to see that his left foot already took a step towards the door but then he quickly forced the urge down. He wouldn't allow this rookie to drive him away and emerge as the winner from this strange battle of theirs. "As I said, I don't have time so can we please get on with this?"

So I can get rid of you once and for all, he said to himself, forgetting that he was the one who came back when he didn't even need to.

The silver-haired boy motioned for him to follow. They went to the same side of the studio, where the wooden stool was placed. "Lu Han?"

He paused on his way to sit down on the stool. "What?"

"Think ."

The boy's face was so blank, so utterly expressionless, that Lu Han wasn't sure if he was joking or not. But regardless, he had to fight his lips from curving up because he was definitely not going to laugh at anything Oh Sehun said. Nope.

Sehun lifted his camera to his face and Lu Han watched him nod approvingly when he saw that he wasn't wearing any make-up. (Well, he did apply a thin layer of moisturizer, so sue him.) He wouldn't let the photographer's satisfied smirk bother him. He didn't wear make-up because he didn't want to and it was surely not because Oh Sehun wanted it.

He had to admit, though, that he felt jumpy and self-conscious since the shoot started. He wanted to flinch every time the shutter sounded, every time there was a flash. He didn't need to think , he already felt . This was the first time he had done this and he was unbelievably scared.

Sehun stopped and Lu Han was amazed how attuned the boy was to what he was feeling because he walked closer and said, "Relax. You're beautiful like this. Trust me."

Trust him? They barely knew each other and Lu Han was just here because of some stupid blackmail that he had come to recognize was his own doing. Just , right? But then Sehun smiled at him, and he realized it was a real one this time. The tautness in his throat eased and Lu Han thought, what the heck?

"I'm always beautiful. I'm the Angel of the East," he said haughtily.

Another unexpected flash. There goes another unflattering picture, Lu Han sighed. "Will you stop doing that?"

Sehun just answered him with another blank look before going back to his earlier position. Lu Han willed himself to relax to get this over with.

More than what felt like three dozen different poses later, Lu Han started to get tired and aggravated. Usually, when he was being photographed, the photographer would give him praises for doing a good job and would even compliment him for his beauty. But all he got were long-suffering looks from Sehun. His patience was getting thin. He was trying his best for god's sake but he felt as if he was still doing everything wrong.

"Lu Han, if you could just be yourself then we--" Sehun cut himself off and Lu Han saw a tiny sign of frustration with the way he ran his hand through his silver hair.

"Are we having this argument again?" he asked incredulously. "This is me! How many times do I have to tell you? I. Am. Lu Han! What do you want from me!?"

Sehun looked him in the eye. "I want the real you. I don't want your fake, practiced smiles. I want the tough guy who ordered me to get him water. I want to see the Lu Han who was kicking and cursing at the vending machine again. That Lu Han. I want that Lu Han."

"You're asking for the impossible." The singer let out a contemptuous laugh. "That Lu Han doesn't exist."

"I saw him with my own two eyes." Sehun looked disappointed. "Why do you like to pretend to be somebody else? Why do you hide behind this ugly person?"

Did he just call the Angel of the East, ugly?

He was incensed but then an unexpected calm settled over him, stopping the shaking of his hands. Lu Han even managed to give Sehun a slow smile, while walking over towards him. "Pretend?" He continued until they were only a few inches apart. "You say I like to pretend but who is the real pretender here? You act as if you're different, no, like you're indifferent. But you aren't, are you? You're just like everybody else, wanting something from me."

"I'm not," Sehun answered quietly.

Lu Han scoffed. "Oh, come now. It's just the two of us here. You can tell me. You're just like all the others who want and expect me to be perfect. Well, I already am." He placed his hand on Sehun's shoulder and moved even closer, their chests almost touching. "This. Isn't this what you want? Tell me."

Lu Han slipped his hand behind Sehun's neck, drawing the other's face closer. "Look at me. Am I not perfect just like this?"

"No."

Lu Han felt the full blow from that one word. His hold on Sehun tightened.

"I didn't want you to be perfect. Just be real. Isn't it tiring pretending? Isn't it--"

Just shut up, Lu Han thought angrily. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.

"--painful? Why do you want to be something you're--"

Lu Han didn't let him finish. He cut him off with his mouth. The kiss was tense, their lips unmoving. His eyes were closed tightly and he pulled Sehun ever closer. Stop it... Okay?

Somehow, Sehun understood because the lips beneath his softened. And then it wasn't just a kiss, it was a kiss. His mouth opened to let the other in and then they were suddenly in an embrace, Sehun's arms enveloping him. It wasn't the greatest of kisses and Lu Han felt a little awkward fitting his lips with Sehun's but it made him think it was okay to be imperfect once in a while because this was amazing.

The taller boy's hands moved from his waist, up his shoulders, until they stopped to cup his face. He felt him brush his thumb against his cheekbone, reminding Lu Han of the first time Sehun did the same. The kiss went on and Lu Han was almost out of breath but he couldn't bring himself to stop because if he did, he'd be the Angel of the East again who couldn't afford this kind of entanglement.

Sehun broke the kiss reluctantly, resting his forehead against Lu Han’s. "Lu Han."

And just like that it was over, the temporary insanity that made Lu Han let down his defenses, was over as fast as it had begun. Lu Han jerked back and left without even a backward glance.

Since then, he'd been plagued by that damned kiss and Sehun's voice whispering his name. Up to now, when he should have been focused on the launch, he found himself distracted and Lu Han wanted to kick himself, or better yet kick Oh Sehun all the way to hell for getting so deep under his skin and playing with his thoughts. The guy wanted him to be real but he had no idea how important it was for Lu Han to be perfect.

He saw a flash at the corner of his eyes and saw a camera trained on him. He felt his heart hammering in his chest again but it wasn't Sehun, just a random press photographer.

This has got to stop.

He saw the reporters stalking towards him now and he wondered where his manager was because with just one snap of Zhang Yixing's fingers, he would have made  them all disappear.

Yixing, if you don't show yourself within the next ten seconds, you're dead.

 

 

 

 

 

Kyungsoo was standing on the sides, staring at his reflection on one of the tall windows lining a wall of the room where the launch party was being held. He didn't exactly look it, but he was nervous. The guests were pouring in and his hands were starting to get clammy. The place was also quickly filling up with the media and pretty soon, he would have to talk to them as well as appear confident and calm.

But he could handle that. He was used to answering rapid-fire questions about his career and even his personal life. What he was really anxious about was seeing Jongin for the first time after a week of evading him. He also lied to him about going with Chanyeol to the party. He felt really stupid for doing that.

Kyungsoo honestly didn't like this falling in love business because it made him feel emotional and dumb. He started acting before thinking and jumping to conclusions without even asking Jongin. He felt miserable most of the time. Lately, his mind was always drifting off to the moment he saw his best friend with the brunette when he should have been practicing instead.

If he wasn't already in love with Jongin, seeing him happy with somebody else would have made him happy, too, and not turn him into this insecure, jealous version of himself.

He knew he should make amends with Jongin and also make up for ignoring him this past week. They've been without each other for three years already and he was an idiot for letting that incident drive them apart in the first place. The smile his best friend gave the other guy could have just been Jongin being his cheerful and friendly self. It may not have meant anything at all.

He was disturbed from his thoughts, though, when he saw Chanyeol's reflection getting nearer. His other best friend stopped just beside him and Kyungsoo looked up to find Chanyeol gazing down at him.

"Kyungsoo."

"Hey," he said with a smile. "New look?"

Chanyeol self-consciously touched his shorter hair which was now dyed back to black. His large ears were more visible and Kyungsoo had always thought he looked adorable with them. "Yeah."

"It suits you."

"Stop lying," the taller guy answered, gaze sliding away.

"I mean it. But why the sudden change?"

Chanyeol shrugged and muttered something which sounded suspiciously like I was going insane this morning.

"What did you say?" he asked.

"Nothing," Chanyeol replied.

"Oh, by the way have you seen Junmyeon-ssi? I haven't seen him yet."

"I haven't either," Chanyeol answered absently.

Kyungsoo looked closer at his friend and frowned because he didn't notice right away that the taller guy looked troubled. He held onto his friend's arm. "Chanyeol, is everything okay?"

"Kyungsoo, I need to tell you something." He glanced at the ceiling before returning his eyes on him. He had never seen Chanyeol so intent and serious. "Not now, but later after your performance. Okay?"

He would not deny Chanyeol anything. He'd gladly give him his time and he would’ve told Chanyeol that but at that same moment he saw something that made him die a little inside. Just a few feet away were Jongin and the beautiful guy he was with before.

He faintly heard Chanyeol call his name but he couldn't tear his eyes away from the couple long enough to reply. He wasn’t going  to jump to conclusions, he already told himself that.

Except he couldn't help it and in this instance, he found it very hard not to.

They were holding hands.

 

 

 

 

 

Tell me, am I really in love with you?

Chanyeol was haunted by his own question all day. He was going crazy to the point that he wanted to tear all his hair out. As a result, he ended up with this shorter cut, colored black to reflect the dread lodged in his stomach.

Tell me, am I really in love with you?

But he couldn't possibly love Baekhyun because he has loved Kyungsoo all his life. His best friend was beyond compare. Kyungsoo was everything Chanyeol has ever wanted. He was funny, talented and intelligent. He was caring and all kinds of wonderful. Whereas Baekhyun always spelled trouble for him. Baekhyun was the ache in his chest, the bitter taste in his tongue. Thinking of the stray pup has always driven him insane and it wasn't a good feeling at all.

Tell me, am I really in love with you?

He couldn't believe he broke rule number one. The kiss this morning was a mistake--he kept desperately trying to convince himself it was nothing but a mistake. It just happened because his brain had a glitch and he wasn't thinking straight. The clutch in his heart when their lips touched was an aberration, too. It couldn't have been anything else. So what if his arms felt at home around the pup? So what if his lips felt just right moving against his? It didn’t change anything. They were both just playing pretend. It was only pretend. Right?

He just needed to see Kyungsoo now so that he'd feel like himself again. He stepped into the function room and his eyes went in search of his friend almost in desperation. Tonight. He'd confess tonight. Then everything would be where it should be. No more confusion. No more wayward thoughts of a pup in pink pajamas brandishing a bright yellow lightstick. No more potato spells. No more.

He found Kyungsoo standing by the windows and he felt peaceful and calm almost at once. He considered it luck that the singer was alone. He walked straight there, pretending not to hear the calls from some board members and the press.  At last, he was standing beside Kyungsoo. It was nice because with him, Chanyeol could breathe easily. "Kyungsoo."

His friend looked up at him with his large, expressive eyes. He waited for that familiar feeling of joy that he always got whenever they were close. It just took a second but somehow it wasn't the same. He shook his head mentally and blamed it on his nerves. Chanyeol tugged at his hair when Kyungsoo commented on it. How could he even begin to explain why he was going insane earlier? He didn’t even really truely know why himself.

But enough stalling, he had a mission. "Kyungsoo, I need to tell you something. Not now but later after your performance, okay?"

He perhaps shouldn't have been telling Kyungsoo this right now but if he didn’t do this tonight he'd completely lose it. He couldn't stand another day of doubt. He waited for the shorter boy's answer. He was looking at Chanyeol but he seemed distracted. "Kyungsoo?" the young president asked again.

There still wasn't an answer so he studied Kyungsoo's face closely. He looked dazed and his eyes kept on darting to something behind Chanyeol. Curious, he turned to see what got Kyungsoo's attention. He stilled in shock. Was that Baekhyun?

But it was a Baekhyun he had never seen before. His dark brown hair fell softly across his forehead. His expressive eyes were heavily lined with dark kohl, making them look sultry and mysterious. Baekhyun was wearing a tailored white jacket that wasn't Chanyeol's, the cut flattering to his small frame. His black pants hugged his slender legs, emphasizing the slight flare of his hips. When he moved, the lights caught on the sparkly dark blue top under his jacket. Simply put, Byun Baekhyun was stunning.

He looked like a different person altogether but then those familiar lips smiled and Chanyeol could see that it really was the pup because no one else’s smile was able to make him feel weird except for Baekhyun’s.

He wasn't prepared for the surge of resentment that filled him when he saw that someone else was holding his pup's hand.

Jongin smiled down at Baekhyun teasingly and Chanyeol's fists clenched. Then his cousin and the pup were moving away and Chanyeol had half a mind to follow them as well as snatch Baekhyun and keep him from Jongin because... he's mine, dammit. The pup belongs to him and no one should see him like this except for Chanyeol.

He wanted to take Baekhyun away and erase all that make up that hid his soft skin and his dazzling eyes. He didn't like those clothes either. Baekhyun looked way better in Chanyeol's pink and rainbow-filled pajamas. Those beautiful hands, no one else should hold them except for--

"Chanyeol."

He felt a pull on his sleeves and he glanced to his side. Dammit, he completely forgot that he was with Kyungsoo. "I'm sorry."

He was sorry for many things.

"Okay. I'll meet you after the performance," Kyungsoo said.

Park Chanyeol, you are here to confess to Do Kyungsoo. You have no business getting riled up just because you see Baekhyun and Jongin together. In fact, wouldn't it work to your advantage? No more distractions. You'll have Kyungsoo all to yourself.

"Thank you."

But telling himself those things didn’t  make him feel any better. His insides were tangled in knots and he felt sick. Everything was just a jumbled mess. Thankfully, Kyungsoo's hand covered his and when Chanyeol looked into his eyes, he felt composed again. This is what's right, he thought. Kyungsoo is just right.

"Kyungsoo!" They both turned to see Lu Han come to them with a big smile. "I've been looking for you. Oh, hello, President Park."

Chanyeol greeted him with a nod.

"I'm sorry Kyungsoo-ssi but I have to take you away. Our performance is in an hour and we have to practice. Also for some reason I can't find my manager," the blonde singer said a bit worriedly.

"That's alright, Lu Han. Chanyeol, I'll be back shortly."

He was left alone and resigned to spend the rest of his time talking to the members of the board and other tiresome press people. Chanyeol went to the bar set up at one side of the room. He was having a discussion with the head of Finance when someone tapped on his shoulder. It was Zitao, wearing a black suit and a slight purse to his lips.

"Excuse me, I just have something important to discuss with my assistant," he told the old man before turning towards his friend. "What is it?"

"So boss, I think you should know. Grandma Park just arrived and she told me to get you."

Dammit, he almost forgot that his grandmother was attending. "Okay, let's go."

Zitao pulled him back. "And Baekhyun."

"What?"
 

"She's looking for Baekhyun, too. Apparently a certain plump old lady told her that your Baekhyun was working for KSE. So she expected that you'd bring him as your date tonight," Zitao explained patiently.

Your Baekhyun. He laughed mockingly at himself. "Well, Baekhyun's here. With Jongin. So you see, he's not really mine," He failed to hide the underlying jealousy in his tone.

"You're such an idiot."

"Ya, Huang Zitao. I'm Park Chanyeol and I'm your boss," Chanyeol said with a glare.

"Doesn't change a thing, boss." Zitao straightened. "Well, if I knew you were just going to easily give him away like that I should've just brought him to Jongin's place instead of yours."

"Hey, where are you going?" Chanyeol asked when Zitao started walking away.

"Off to congratulate Jongin," his assistant smirked, "for being smarter than you."

What the hell? What did the impudent boy mean by that? "Ya, Zitao!"

"Boss, if you're really this stupid, then you don't deserve him." Zitao paused as he spotted something. "There's your last chance, boss."

Chanyeol glanced at the direction the guy was pointing to. He saw Jongin and Baekhyun disappearing through the glass doors leading to the balcony. Chanyeol forgot everything else.

Dammit. No.

 

 

 

 

 

They were more than an hour late and it was all thanks to Kim Junmyeon.

Yixing was sitting on the passenger seat of the EVP's car and was thinking back on what exactly he did wrong that day to warrant him being stuck in the middle of the road (and surely being cursed by Lu Han to hell and back) on one of the most important nights of his career.

Possibly, it was his decision to go home even after reaching KSE with Lu Han earlier because Junmyeon was supposed to pick him up from his apartment at 7PM. Or it could be his unexplainable pickiness on what to wear tonight (it took him about twelve outfit changes before deciding on the black leather jacket and graphic shirt which made him look like a celebrity himself). But most probably it was doomed to go wrong the first time he saw the EVP standing by the President's office door in his sweater and bowtie.

Zhang Yixing’s initial impression of Kim Junmyeon was dweeb. Like what was a really socially incompetent person doing at KSE as an EVP? The only problem was, the dweeb had a nice smile. And the dweeb, he had come to know, wasn’t really a dweeb at all. Yixing was especially intrigued by the flash of challenge in the other guy’s eyes whenever they crossed paths. It was as if he was always itching for a fight or something and the manager was invariably more than happy to oblige.

“No one’s picking up,” Junmyeon muttered while frowning at his phone.

"You are that unimportant that no one answers when you call?" he asked disdainfully.

"Well, why don't you try it?" the EVP said with a huff.

Yixing took out his phone and oh, great. No signal. How the hell could there be no signal in the middle of the city? His lips compressed into a thin line. This shouldn't be happening.

"So?" Junmyeon asked, smirking.

"I don't have a signal," he replied.

A loud honk sounded from their left.

"Not again," Junmyeom groaned.

A series of honks and beeps and shouts followed even before Yixing could blink. After about five minutes of utter chaos, the streets quieted down once more. That would be the third time it happened since the road accident took place a kilometer away.

"I could have been at the party right now," Junmyeon said while staring straight ahead. "I could have shaken hands with important people, made new contacts, and possibly have given an interview."

Yixing scoffed at the lost expression on Junmyeon's face. He could have been at the party ages ago. He slid a glance to the guy beside him and wondered briefly why they have been at odds with each other since the beginning.

"It's your fault we're stuck here. If you have gone to my place earlier then we could have avoided the accident."

"Are you seriously blaming me?" Junmyeon turned to face him.

He gave him a small shrug.

"Seriously?" the executive fumed. "Like really?"

Yixing was a bit taken aback when he realized that Junmyeon had leaned close and was glaring at him.  As the cliche went, if looks could kill, he'd be decomposing right now. But it shouldn't be taken against him if he wasn't scared one bit at the display of anger. Junmyeon's face was flushed and was turning as pink as that monogram on his vest. The guy sat there breathing hard, jaw clenched and eyes narrowed and all Yixing could think of was damn, that bowtie looked y.

Which really was a fluke for he didn't even like bowties.

"Like really," he answered as he leaned closer, too.

And perhaps it was inevitable that their lips met halfway because the spark that has always been there was too big to ignore now. Yixing felt a shock when Junmyeon's mouth covered his and he felt warmth seep into his bones. Then he traced Junmyeon's lips with his tongue and he arched forward so they could be closer (never mind that the gear shift was digging painfully to his hips).

He liked it, he really liked Junmyeon a lot and it was maybe the worst revelation he'd ever had. Because the two of them would never work. He was a world class snake while Junmyeon was like an innocent bunny (with a bowtie) but then the innocent bunny moaned not so innocently and all lingering thoughts disappeared as the kiss continued and just wow.

They have got to stop because he was already contemplating doing hotly inappropriate acts inside this car and anyone could see them for christ's sake. He reluctantly pulled back and they both ended up staring at each other, both still dazed and confused about what just happened.

Yixing cleared his suddenly dry throat. "We shouldn't do that again."

"Yeah, that was a mistake. A total mistake," Junmyeon agreed.

"Let's forget about it."

"It never happened at all."

"Sure."

"Yes."

But there were those pink lips again.

Zhang Yixing, think of something else. Then he looked into the guy's eyes and he knew he was never going to think of anything else and that he was definitely going to kiss him again.

"So--" The EVP began but whatever it was he was going to say was lost beneath Yixing's lips.

Junmyeon pulled him close and the evil manager thought they should get stuck more often. Just like this.

 

 

 

 

 

"Finally," Baekhyun breathed out. He walked closer to the railing and held on to it. They were nineteen floors up so the night breeze was a bit strong and cold but it was better here than being inside where he felt suffocated.

"I'm sorry for dragging you here," Jongin said when he reached Baekhyun. "I just didn't want to be alone."

"It's alright, Jongin-ah," he assured him.

"You look amazing, though."

Baekhyun let out a laugh. "You're just saying that because you bought these clothes."

Jongin rolled his eyes. "It's not the clothes. It's you... Well, the clothes does play a part on it." The guy chuckled. "I don't mean to offend but you should buy better fitting wardrobe and you shouldn't hide your pretty face and body behind those big clothes."

Baekhyun could’ve said that he wasn't intentionally buying big clothes because he wanted to hide himself but he refrained from doing so. He loved those clothes because they were Chanyeol's. He just gave Jongin a smile before looking out the horizon. The night sky was pretty with the stars blinking down on them.

"You aren't used to these kinds of events are you?" Jongin asked a moment later.

"Not really. I rarely went to big parties even when my parents were still alive."

"I'm sorry." Baekhyun could hear the sincerity in the other's voice. "I lost both my parents, too."

"I'm sorry," he replied.

"It's alright. It's been three years and though it's still painful, it does get better after a while."

Baekhyun paused in his perusal of the sky and glanced at Jongin. "I know how it feels. My parents also died three years ago. I just think the saddest part is that it was so unexpected. One hit of a car and they were gone."

Jongin faced him, eyes rounded. "You lost your parents in a car crash, too?"

Baekhyun nodded.

"I lost mine three years ago in a car crash as well. Summer of--"

"2009," Baekhyun finished. Oh my god. "August the--"

"Fifth. Yes."

They looked at each other in astonishment. Baekhyun was the first to break the silence. He held onto the railing tighter for support. "I… I knew there was another couple but I didn't..." He was speechless. He couldn’t believe it.

Jongin breathed deeply. "I also knew that there were a couple more victims. I even heard vaguely that there was a son who was left orphaned besides me. I guess, I was just drowning in too much grief to care. I'm sorry, Baekhyun."

There was a lump in his throat as he remembered feeling so alone back then. He hoped Jongin didn't go through the same thing. "You don't need to be sorry."

Jongin came closer and placed his hand on top of Baekhyun's head. "But I am because I can see it in your eyes. You were alone weren't you? Although I had my grandma, Chanyeol and my friends with me, I still ran away from them. I was selfish wanting to be alone in my misery while you had no one at all."

There was a pained expression in Jongin's face and Baekhyun's heart went out to him. "But it was the only way you could cope. Don't be so hard on yourself, Jongin. And those people love you. I'm sure they understood."

The taller boy smiled sadly at him. "This is really late but--" To Baekhyun's surprise, he felt Jongin pull his head against his chest. "--I'm here if you need me."

Baekhyun wanted to cry in relief because someone finally understood what it felt like. "Thank you."

"I hate to disturb your precious moment but I need Byun Baekhyun."

Baekhyun abruptly broke away from the hug and saw a scowling Chanyeol a few feet from them. "Chan... I mean, President Park!"

It was the first time he saw him after what happened that morning and Baekhyun was shocked to see the potato. Chanyeol's blond mane was replaced by short cropped black hair. He was used to seeing him without a suit and a necktie on, besides the white t-shirt and pajama bottoms he wore to sleep, but tonight, Chanyeol was wearing a black knee length coat, dark gray top and trim black jeans. He looked young and handsome and yes, Baekhyun was still in shock.

"Yo, happy virus," Jongin greeted him.

"I told you never to call me that."

"You did? Anyway, what do you want with Baekhyun? It's his day off, it’s the weekend and we're in a party," Jongin chuckled. "Live a little."

Baekhyun gaped at Jongin. Didn't he see that his cousin wasn't in a very good mood?

Chanyeol's frown deepened. He turned to Baekhyun without saying a word in response to Jongin. "Come with me."

He didn't know what was going on. Baekhyun searched Chanyeol's face but all he saw was a pair of steely eyes trained at him. Why was the potato being this way?

Are you angry at me?

"Where are we going?" he asked, a little worried.

Chanyeol threw a short glance at Jongin before returning his gaze to him. "I need you. Come with me." The president came closer and held on to his arm.

"Chanyeol," Jongin placed his hand on top of Chanyeol's arm and this time he wasn't smiling at all. "Baekhyun is my date for tonight. I don't think it's right for you to order him about."

"Let go," Chanyeol said stiffly.

"No, you let go." Jongin's hand held him firmly. "Don't be like this, Chanyeol."

"Jongin--" the potato warned.

"I'll come with you," Baekhyun blurted out. Chanyeol pulled the smaller boy to him as soon as Jongin let go of his arm. "I'll see you later, Jongin-ssi. Maybe there's just an emergency I need to help him out really quickly. I’ll come back soon."

The younger guy didn't look convinced but nodded. Jongin gave Chanyeol a strange look which Baekhyun didn't understand but he had no time to think more about it because he was already being dragged back inside. The farther they got from the balcony, the looser Chanyeol's hold on him became. The hand eventually slid down to clasp his just like it did when they were at the park. Baekhyun's chest ached when the long digits slotted themselves in between his fingers. It just felt so real.

However, he knew it would be painful if he continued to let it go on. He tried to get his hand back but the hold just tightened. Chanyeol stopped walking and Baekhyun almost stumbled against his back. The taller guy turned to face him. They were in the middle of the room but it didn't matter. All Baekhyun could see was the uncertainty and hurt clouding Chanyeol's eyes, and he realized he was the one causing it.

He wanted to ask him why but Grandma Park chose that moment to appear and pull Baekhyun into a quick hug. "There you both are! I told my baby Zitao to go and look for you but he ran off somewhere. Is there cake at the buffet table? He's probably there, isn't he? But yes, how are you my Baekhyunnie. You look wonderful. I trust my grandson is taking care of you?"

Baekhyun was too dazed to reply with nothing else but a small smile.

"That's good. Oh, and I got to eat the food you made last week and they were divine." The old women patted Chanyeol with her red purse. "And you, boy, I also heard from Nonna that you got sick again. Good thing you have a boyfriend who takes good care of you or else you'd probably die young and where would I be then? You want your grandma to die with grief immediately after?"

Grandma Park continued to scold Chanyeol in a hushed voice since they were in public. Baekhyun looked down at his and the potato's linked hands. It hit him then. And he wanted to laugh and cry at how stupid he was. This wasn't real at all. They were still pretending. Chanyeol held onto him because they were playing boyfriends in front of Grandma Park, pretending they were in love and happy.

It was make-believe and it was all they would ever be.

He now knew why Chanyeol looked hurt. It was because he didn't want any of this but he was forced to lie. That broke his heart more than anything else. So Baekhyun decided to get this chance to be near him, one last moment before he completely let go.

He brushed his thumb against Chanyeol's before he tightened his grip. I love you so much. There were times when he just stared at him and he wondered. If he had met Chanyeol earlier, in different circumstances, would they have had a chance?

He shook his head. Baekhyun knew these thoughts were useless. Just give me one more second to love you, please.

"You two go to the mansion tomorrow, alright?" They didn’t even get a chance to answer before Grandma Park began to walk away. "Oh, there's Mr. Lee of HJ Entertainment, that old bounder! I have to catch that greasy man before he tries to talk some of our trainees into transfering again. Tea time, tomorrow, alright dearies? I'll be expecting both of you. Now let me chat with the old people."

Then the old lady was gone and the time was up.

Baekhyun's hand slackened. He tried to slip his hand free once again but the one holding his didn't move. His head was bowed because he knew one look at Chanyeol and he would change his mind. He wanted to stay with him forever.

"Why?" Chanyeol's deep voice sounded so close. "Why are you so eager to be rid of me?"

"Let's stop, Chanyeol," he answered in a hoarse whisper. "Let's stop pretending."

The other let out a strained laugh. "Yeah, it's that horrible, right? Us, pretending to be lovers. What a joke."

Baekhyun didn't think his heart could break even more but it did. It was all true. By now he just wanted to run away but Chanyeol was still holding onto him.

"I love Kyungsoo, Baekhyun. I love him."

He froze before pulling his hand back but Chanyeol still wasn't letting go. I already know, potato-ahjussi. So let go of me now and have your happily ever after.

"But you... God, why is this so hard?" Chanyeol sounded angry.

"What's going on?"

Baekhyun's eyes widened. Do Kyungsoo was right behind Chanyeol. The singer moved forward, looking alternately between him and the young president. He watched as Kyungsoo's eyes dropped to their held hands. "Chanyeol?"

The taller guy appeared torn but his hand stayed clasped to Baekhyun's.

"Baekhyun, is anything wrong?" Jongin asked from beside him. He didn't even notice him arrive. He shook his head.

Baekhyun gave Chanyeol a pleading look. Instead of pulling away, this time he stepped closer and pressed his temple against the potato's jaw, and he didn’t care about the crowd around them because if he didn't do this now, there would be nothing left of him. "Please let me go, Chanyeol."

He felt one final squeeze on his hand and then it was free. Empty.

"Chanyeol, the program's starting," Kyungsoo said. The singer nodded at him, he paused for a second when he saw Jongin but immediately nodded again. "Please excuse us?"

Baekhyun watched the two of them leave, still badly hoping for Chanyeol to look back for the last time. But he didn’t.

He thought it was better this way.

What a joke.