“Why isn't he showing up...” For quite some time now, an Argus-eyed Su Min has been mumbling incoherently under her breath as she continued to gawk the streets, her eyes feverishly ferreting for someone's presence. Her peculiar demeanor was not a first for us, so we tried to leave her alone. The Lady Boss had retreated to the hind of the shop with a list in her hand, doing a manual stock check.

 

“Hee Yun.” The Lady Boss called. I turned around to look at her.

 

“Come over.” she beckoned with a quick wave of her hands. I gave Su Min a perfunctory glance; her face was still blank and bereft of any form of emotion, her eyes wide and frantic, as though she was afraid of missing a millisecond of action if she blinked.

 

I sighed, then moved towards the Lady Boss.

 

“What's wrong with her?” Lady Boss asked, pointing the pen in her hands towards my friend. “She has been like this ever since she began her shift. I know Su Min has always been kind of an oddball, but she's going to scare the customers away if she continues to have her eyes glued to the streets. Hurry up and ask her to snap out of it.”

 

I pursed my lips and gave a shrug. “She has been like that since just now, but she seems to mention a 'he'.”

 

The Lady Boss raised an eyebrow in consternation. “A guy, eh? Perhaps she has fallen in love. Either way, tell her to stop that. Go.” She dismissed me and nudged me in the direction of Su Min, who has now reclined against the wall by the side, her head slightly tilted .

 

“Su Min? Are you all right? Are you waiting for someone to show up?” I asked mildly.

 

Su Min diverted her attention onto me for a fraction of a second, before she straightened up. She turned to give me a good, hard stare, her lips quivering as though there was something on her mind that she wanted to say. However, she dropped her back back onto the wall just a moment later, apparently relinquishing whatever she had intended to say.

 

“It's fine. I'm all right.” was all she answered as she folded her arms.

 

“Well, if you have something you want to say-”

 

“Ah, I see now you weren't lying to me yesterday, lass!” I heard a familiar gruff voice beyond the counter. As I pivoted my head over, I was appalled to see the old woman from yesterday, this time dressed in casual clothes. Her hair was still the same gray mess as how I had remembered it to be since last night.

 

“Very nice to see you again.” I went immediately as I followed up with a short bow. “Thank you very much for your help yesterday.”

 

The arrival of the old woman seemed to have piqued Su Min's interest. She snapped out of the trance she was in previously, her eyes now firmly pinned on the stranger.

 

“Well, I do suppose I didn't think you were lying to me after seeing how close you were with Luhan.” The old woman expressed, leaving one hand on the counter. “But I must say I was quite surprised. And I thought I should check on you before my shift started, after how you left fuming mad last night.”

 

I blushed a little, abashed, remembering the wreck I was. It had taken me one full night to convince my brain to stay stagnant and not think about whatever I had mulling over yesterday. I surely did not want those same upsetting thoughts and conflicting emotions to imbue me right now, for it would simply disrupt my work and the business.

 

“I... am sorry about that. I was... thinking about a few things.” I muttered, giving nothing more but a vague summary of reasons for my outburst.

 

The old woman seemed to watch me with discerning eyes, as though she could tell there was more than what I had explained.

 

“Maybe I am full of myself or that I am thinking a bit too much... But I do believe I know what kind of thoughts are going on about your head yesterday.” she went on to say.

 

Su Min edged closer, now back to normal. She glanced up at me almost angrily, as though she was blaming me for the fact that this old woman seemed to know something that she was not aware of.

 

“All I want to say is, you and Luhan live in different worlds. I'm sure you must have realized it too, when you got so vexed yesterday night. Despite what many people say, about how idols are just commoners at the end of the day, what they have to deal with is very much different. Not just any commoner will send stares their way when they walk down the road. Not just any commoner will get chased around by fangirls on a daily basis. So till the end, I think we are still different from them.” the old woman said. “I just thought I should warn you, about what should be for the best. Because sometimes a relationship cannot be sustained when the two parties involved are just... very much different. Better not jump into boiling water and be scalded, no matter how attracted you are to the other person.”

 

I lowered my head and offered a curt nod. Albeit what she was preaching about wasn't exactly what had caused me to be so visibly irate last night, what she had said made sense too. My lips rippled in what might have been an attempt at a smile – I wanted to show her than I understood her fully, but somehow there was still a desolate feeling deep within me, almost like I wasn't satisfied with how things just had to end because he was an idol and I was a nobody.

 

Wait, what am I thinking again? This is just not me at all.

 

“Well, what is so bad about being scalded for love? Everyone needs someone else to accompany in this long and tedious journey of life! Even if it means it's going to hurt, even if it means you might be separated, what is wrong in wanting to be loved? Don't talk like you know Hee Yun at all, and don't try to fan the flames within her. I must have you know I tried really hard for her to just shut up about how she did not need to be loved her entire life, and no way in hell are you going to ruin that for me. Just so you know, this girl is in privation of love! She has never even been in a serious relationship before and she is in her twenties already! I do not want her to be pathetic.” Su Min plunged into a furious tirade, catching the old woman by surprise since she was not exactly talking to her in the first place, so getting a response from the wrong party seemed to make her feel awkward.

 

“Umm, Su Min!” I felt like I had to stop her before a potential quarrel broke out before the shop. “It's okay, the words she said were out of good intentions-”

 

“More importantly,” Su Min apparently ignored my plea and continued, “Did Luhan even complain that he didn't want to be with Hee Yun? Love is a two-party affair! As long as the two of them are happy to be in that relationship then that's all that matters!”

 

Su Min turned to me. “If you listened and believed in anything she said, you are dead meat, Choi Hee Yun.”

 

“And I mean dead meat!” she reiterated at full volume, before she stormed away.

 

“S-Su Min!” I tried to stop her with a call of her name, but she refused to cease.

 

I turned to the old woman in a fluster seeing how I would not be able to make her turn around, and gave another bow of apology. “I-I'm sorry. My friend does tend to be rather straightforward about her thoughts and doesn't mind letting others know just how exactly she feels. I apologize if she had offended you.”

 

The old woman blinked a little, still a little shocked. “Well... I must say she is quite rare. To feel so much in her friend's stead. Well I don't exactly take things to heart, so don't worry about me. But well I suppose what she said was true, too. Till the end it's not about what we think, it's about what you think. Sorry for all the prattle, I will take my leave now. See you around, lass.”

 

I wish I could think for myself, I thought.

 

But if I do, I will not even get any answers and it will end up to be just another terrible disaster.

 

 

 

How long has it been?

 

How long has it been since I last saw Luhan?

 

According to Su Min, him and his band have departed for China, where their usual group-related promotion and other activities will be held at. They might stay there for an indefinite period of time, though they will rejoin EXO whenever it was a necessity for the group to be showcased as a whole.

 

Quite frankly, when I first heard of his leave from Korea, I was slightly ecstatic. It meant that I would have some time to sort out my thoughts than to be left in utter shambles whenever we had contact with him.

 

Though, now that I think about it, nothing had changed since he went abroad.

 

Every single day I am confronted with the possibility that something will blossom between me and him and I feel... out of place. There seems to be a distant feeling inside of me that I somehow can put my finger to and identify, but at the same time it feels foreign. I spent most of my days at home and at work thinking about him, thinking about the few times we shared together, the words he said, the faces he had.

 

Everytime it felt excruciating to think any further, I will sit down and fold an aeroplane and toss it to the other corner of my room, imitating that very time a few years when I hurled a paper aeroplane out my window. The gesture always reminded of the crushing feelings of bleakness and lugubriosity I held when I threw that paper aeroplane, and it reminded me of that pact I made.

 

The pact to never love again.

 

It's just going to hurt again, Hee Yun.

 

It's just going to hurt.

 

I flopped down onto my bed and gave a long sigh into my coverlets. Beside my pillow, Luhan rested.

 

“Why do you want to cause me so many problems?” I poked the cheek of the teddy bear.

 

“I really can't fall in love again...” I muttered, staring at the blank eyes sewn onto the plush toy, before I buried my face into my pillow and willed myself to sleep.

 

 

“你就别再犹豫了好吗就紧拉住我的心脏...”

 

(Translation : Please stop hesitating and hold on tightly to my heart...)

 

He was singing quietly to himself under his breath, as he sat all by himself in a lonesome corner of the practice room, his head tilted and leaning against the wall next to him. A pair of earphones was plugged firmly into his ears.

 

The room he was in was bustling with activity. Nearby, there was the rhythmic music blasting from a radio. In the center of the room were a few individuals cavorting about the space over the wooden floorboards, trying to manipulate their bodies fluidly along the beat of the rhapsody.

 

Luhan lifted his head to look at them. Each of them had their visions resolutely locked on the mirror in front of them as they executed each gesture. A swing of an arm, a stretch of the hand, a spin on the feet. They seemed determined to carve each and every action into their memories, so that they would not forget as they ran through their routine one more time. Their bodies glistened with sweat under the fluorescent lights and their breaths were irregular and all over the place.

 

“难道你不知道吗? So baby don’t cry, cry... 我的爱守护你不放开...” His voice was still soft and inaudible; he was elucidating the words with just the air from his mouth alone, causing the syllables to be muffled.

 

(Translation : Don't you understand? So baby don't cry, cry... My love shall protect you and never let you go...)

 

“在听什么？哇，Baby Don't Cry?” Lay walked over and gave a peek at the title of the song Luhan was currently plugged into.

 

(Translation : What are you listening to? Whoa, Baby Don't Cry?)

 

He had noticed a glazed look of emptiness and despair on Luhan's face as their dance practice reached its third hour, which was why he suggested he took a break, to sort his thoughts. Though, so far, the break had proven to be entirely useless.

 

“嗯... 不知道为什么，这一次唱这首歌特别有感觉...” said Luhan, as he removed the two plugs from his ears and placed them on the floor beside his bag.

 

(Translation : Yeah. I don't know why, but singing this song this time round fills me with more emotions than usual...)

 

“不是什么值得担心的事! 对了，我在这休息多久了？总觉得不知不觉中好像坐在这很久了...” Luhan got up to his feet and carried a wry smile as he expressed with forced joviality.

 

(Translation : It's nothing for you to be worried about! Ah, yeah, how long have I been resting? I feel like I have been sitting here for a long time...)

 

Lay looked Luhan in the eye.

 

“在想 Hee Yun的事吗?” Lay asked, straightforward. “也难怪你，已经有两个月没见面了吧？最近都在大陆表演。怎么，想她了吗？”

 

( Translation : Are you thinking about Hee Yun? Can't blame you anyway, it's been two months since the two of you last met. We have been in China performing these past few weeks after all. Have you started missing her?)

 

“或许吧。老是在练习时觉得有点心不在焉的。明知是自己想太多，但也无法控制自己，真的有点逊。但时间久了，就难免会胡思乱想。 在想她现在该不会已经喜欢上另外一个男生了吧？我还有机会吗？等等的。心里老是有一点烦。”

 

(Translation : Perhaps. These few days I seem to be losing concentration as I practice my moves. I know I am probably thinking to much, but I can't help myself. I feel kind of like a loser! But as time goes on, my thoughts run wild. I start thinking questions like, “Has she fallen in love with another guy?” or “Do I still have a chance?” and I start feeling increasingly annoyed.)

 

Lay's expression softened as he heard the confession.

 

“你果然真的很喜欢她呢。这一切靠的都是缘份，如果你们真的注定在一起，那最后她一定是会喜欢上你的。就别想太多了!” Lay offered some encouragements for his thwarted mate. There was probably little help he could do for Luhan, but still, he made sure to at least try.

 

( Translation : You really do like her a lot, don't you? But you know, everything is about affinity sometimes. If the two of you are truly meant to be, then surely she will like you despite of everything. So don't fret too much!)

 

“都说不是什么值得担心的事了嘛！不过，谢谢你，艺兴 。” went Luhan.

 

(Translation : Like I've said it's nothing to be worried about! But, thank you, Lay.)

 

Out of the blue, Luhan galvanized into action and struck a pose with his limbs. He then began to perform a portion of their dance routine with ease. Once he was done, he looked back at Lay who was standing behind him and flashed a gleaming grin.

 

“呵呵！怎么样？还不赖吧？” Luhan said with a twinge of mischief in his tone. It elicited a chuckle from Lay.

 

(Translation: How was it? I wasn't too bad, right?)

 

“不过...” whispered Luhan. “我还是很希望她能喜欢上我...”

 

(Translation : Still, I really hope she will fall in love with me...)

 

 

 

“Have you truly made up your mind about this, Su Min?” The lady boss asked, twirling a pen adeptly between the gaps of her fingers. As soon as she asked though, a tiny part within her felt stupid, probably because the answer was conspicuous in the other girl's eyes.

 

“Yes, I am.” The girl went, accompanied by an affirmative nod.

 

The lady boss turned quietly and lowered the pen to the table. “But you know this is just going to hurt her. Surely you know she-”

 

“I know! But I can't stand it anymore.” The girl snapped and bit her lower lip. “I can't give in to her forever.”

 

Lady boss shook her head in denial. “Really. We both know her equally well, with you, of course, winning over me in this. She won't be able to take it.”

 

Su Min pressed her lips tightly together and refused to answer. She looked away and escaped from confrontation.

 

Finally, after a long moment of pause, she turned around.

 

“A burnt child dreads fire,” she said, yanking out her name tag from her work blouse, “And I'm going to use that against her.”

 

 

I out my exhausted feet, one at a time, and began to roll my ankles to loosen the aching ankles. The sky was clouded, hinting at an imminent downpour. There has been little or a complete lack of activity at our bubble tea shop. Standing stationary at a constant spot has taken a greater toll on my feet as opposed to being able to walk around the shop.

 

Having had enough with being a faineant, I pottered to the back of the shop, where Su Min was standing, before a small mirror Lady Boss had left for us to adjust our name tag. She was prinking herself, combing down her blonde hair with her fingers as she eyed her reflection indulgently.

 

Today, Su Min was not her loquacious self as well. It is somewhat unsettling when someone is not her usual self, because the things that make her her are just gone for no reason, and the natural cycle you have grown accustomed is shredded.

 

Was she still mad at me for agreeing to what the security woman said two months back? Albeit afterwards she was acting fine around me, but Su Min has quite the reputation for random mood swings and she can get moody in the blink of an eye.

 

Su Mi noticed my eyes on her and looked up. She glanced behind, at the empty counter, then turned to me again.

 

“There's no one here, right?” she asked.

 

I jerked a little, surprised that she had initiated a conversation. “Y-Yeah. It's been quiet for some time. Are you planning to get your hair dyed again?”

 

“I was hoping to get it dyed to red this time! Something that will really stand out in the crowd and attract attention! But anyway!” she halted herself in her own speech then stared hard into my eyes. “There's something I want to ask you.”

 

“Oh. Sure. What is it?”

 

I watched Su Min take a sharp intake of breath. “Be honest with me. Do you like Luhan or not?”

 

I froze, rooted to the ground. Behind me, something clattered to the ground.

 

“A-Are you asking that again?” My voice was shaky. It was because I know I was about to tell a lie. But it wasn't a complete lie, because the truth was that I had no idea. “O-Of course not! And I don't think Luhan sees me that way. Like I said, it's just a... misunderstanding.” I said the answer my logic told me to.

 

Even though it all happened in a flash, I caught hold of it. A rapid shift in her eyes. Su Min was mad.

 

She was going to scream at me again. I braced myself.

 

“... Good. I'm relieved.”

 

I blinked my eyes several times. What did Su Min just say?

 

The corners of her lips pulled upwards into a smile. The screaming and the chastisement did not come. Instead, she rested a hand on her chest, as if she was comforting a wildly beating heart. “I... am really relieved to hear you say that, Hee Yun. I was so afraid. What if you said yes? Then I will really have to give it all up. But I guess I really don't want to give up after all. Luhan's such a great guy. He's a rare find. And since you don't feel for him that way, I guess it's all right for me.”

 

It was getting increasingly arduous to comprehend what Su Min was trying to say. I could feel the currents in my brain – the currents responsible to detect and uncover a potential answer and make sense of whatever she was going on about, shunned away by a sealed off gate after another closed gate. I tried blinking my eyes even more than I just did, hoping it was an illusion and that everything will fade away back to reality, but nothing happened. The two of us were still standing at the hind of the shop, facing each other, and Su Min had just dropped a bombshell on me.

 

“You... W-What?”

 

“Don't tell me you didn't notice?” Su Min went, taken aback. She gave a small laugh. “I'm in love with Luhan.”

 

My mind staggered and ceased to operate. My eyes dilated in horror.

 

“W-Why do you look like that? I thought you didn't have feelings for him?” asked Su Min, leaning closer. “Or are you really that shocked?”

 

“I... That...” Come on, Hee Yun! Say something!

 

“I was going to just give him to you initially. But seeing how you didn't feel anything for him, I decided I should just take my chances. And... You know, Hee Yun...” Su Min's voice trailed away as she went and grabbed her phone.

 

“I-I'm planning to tell Luhan how I feel.” she said nervously. “I... I'm going to ask him out and confess to him.”
 

 

 

Is it me or has the lights in the shop dimmed?

 

I distracted myself from the figure standing before and looked to the walls for an answer – my fugacious getaway. The walls seemed to reflect a murky, dingy yellow hue off the fluorescent lights overhead, bathing the room in what seemed to be an elusive, tenebrous atmosphere.

 

The whole room will just persist in turning darker and darker, I thought to myself, till it propagates to a level of darkness vast enough to devour me whole.

 

It took me a while to gather back my thoughts; to pull myself together and retrieve the scattered pieces of me strewn all over the shop's floor. For a moment the neatly-striped tiles felt alien to me, attacking me with a dizzying current.

 

“I probably can't call him... So I will simply send a text...” Su Min fixed her eyes on the small lit screen and started to meticulously punch in the words she wanted to say. With her voice, I am jolted back to reality. As the perspicacity in my brain returns, so does an eldritch, abstract sense of pain. And, for all I know, it was not the first time I have felt this pain.

 

A feeling of loss and contrition, like something I cherished slipping away from my hands because I hesitated to hold onto it -

 

I remember now.

 

It was that same time, when I lost Hyun Jong to Ji Na.

 

No, this is wrong.

 

What loss?

 

There was nothing in my grasp this time around, from the onset. I was grabbing onto a fistful of air and had coerced my senses to grant the air some imaginary weight. In the end, if it slips through my fingers and vanishes, all I have lost is a fragment of my wishful thinking, like blowing away dust from the cover of illusion.

 

My hands are empty.

 

I must have been drawn in by the allure of his charm, of his good looks, and mistook this attraction as having somewhat to do with genuine feelings of love for him. That was all there is to it! Thinking about this from another angle, wouldn't Su Min make a much more compatible match for Luhan than me? She's vivacious and kind at heart. She's the perfect mate. She can make Luhan laugh. She will bring him happiness.

 

A girl like me who will never believe in love, what good will I do for him if we truly went out?

 

Anyway, Luhan is just softhearted and thoughtful. Surely it was because we did spend a bit of time together, and he viewed me as a close acquaintance of sorts. Which was why he tried to show care and concern for me, but because he was of the opposite , everything got muddled together and it made it seem as though he had a thing for me.

 

A typical case of misunderstanding.

 

I am never returning to my salad days.

 

And I will not renege on my promise to never love again.

 

Now, smile, Hee Yun.

 

Smile for the happiness your friend may receive in her life. She has done so much for you in the past, stood up for you when everyone else turned a blind eye on you. She has always treated you as a best friend and have always tried to be there for you whenever you needed her.

 

The least you can do is to feel with her. Feel the same forthcoming jubilee that could be waiting for her. And do whatever it takes to make sure she will earn that bliss.

 

That bliss, that ironically, may have been in your reach.

 

 

 

Push aside your feelings.

 

Give it up. You do not need something like love.

 

“That's nice, you even have his phone number? When did the two of you exchange it?” I asked with a forced smile, leaning closer to peep at her message screen, but Su Min adroitly pulled her phone away from my face, keeping it out of my sight.

 

“Well, I got it from him by just asking.” Su Min gave an ambiguous answer. “And don't look at the contents of my message, it's embarrassing! You never had to ask a guy out, so you don't know how stressful it is, especially when the other party is an idol!”

 

“Oh.” That's true. I took a step back and let my curiosity dissolve.

 

“There! I sent it!” cried Su Min, as she pressed onto a button with her thumb. “I hope he'd reply soon!”

 

“Is he back in Korea already?”

 

Su Min watched me. “Mm. He just returned yesterday. I asked him to meet me this weekend.”

 

I grinned, but that tugging feeling at my heart just would not leave me alone. “Wow, that's only a few more days to go! Won't it be nerve-wrecking? I hope he accepts your confession! And then I guess I can start bragging about my best friend going out with an idol! But oh, I guess that has to be a secret.” I broke into a laugh. Behind me, something clattered again.

 

Su Min did not say anything. She trudged over to the Lady Boss who was organizing some items in a cabinet and the two exchanged a few quick words.

 

“Oh yeah!” Su Min exclaimed when she turned to face me again. “I'd really need your help, Hee Yun. Could you follow me to the meet up spot that day? Like you said I'm just... really uncertain about it. I think it'd feel better and I'd get the words out properlyif someone else came along with me. Do you mind? Of course I don't need you to stand beside me as I make the confession. You just need to stand at another spot. I just need you to accompany me over there. Could you, please?”

 

I nodded my head, agreeing without giving it any further thought. I will definitely do whatever it takes, as her best friend, to ensure that she gets the happiness that she desires. If Su Min is happy, then I will be, too.

 

“Thank you! Thank you so much! You are the best!” she flung herself towards me and embraced me. “No hard feelings, okay? I know you two might be close but since you already made it clear that you don't like him, it's really all right for me, right? I'm so happy, I think I could die. But I'm so nervous too. I don't know what to say.”

 

“It's okay. I went, exhibiting a heartfelt smile. “I'm sure if it's you, you'd get what you want.”

 

This is for the best, Hee Yun. Luhan will be much better being with Su Min. Plus, he probably never liked you. You just need to remember that.

 

Su Min looked up at me and grinned. “I hope so too.” she said.

 

“But I am confident that I will.”

 

 

 

I lifted my head and squinted my eyes.

 

The disc of the sun was concealed behind layers of fleecy white clouds etched to the cerulean blue sky, each one framed by light. It was somewhere in the afternoon, after lunch hour. I was dressed in a simple dress that reached my knees, standing beside a bustling street pavement in an acclaimed shopping district. Before me, hordes of faceless crowds weaved to and fro.

 

A considerable distance away, Su Min stood, at the spot she had arranged to meet with Luhan. I could see a partial of her blonde sticking out from behind the wall. It was a weird spot to meet up considering it led into an isolated alleyway, but I suppose that was how Su Min had wanted it to be set up as, so that she could confess without the prying looks from the passers-by.

 

A few minutes later, Su Min poked her head mischievously out from behind the wall, to glance at me. The ear rings she wore jiggled back and forth like two precarious pieces of ripe fruit, ready to fall. She grinned mirthfully, then retreated back into her hiding spot.

 

I smiled back as a response, though she would not be able to see it.

 

Soon, Luhan will meet up with Su Min.

 

And Su Min will tell him how she feels.

 

Will Luhan accept her confession? What will happen to the two of them after this? Will it be awkward for me to be around them? Will I seem like an unnecessary third party? How should I act around Luhan and Su Min from now on if they really went out?

 

Everyone's working hard to get their happiness, Hee Yun. What are you doing?

 

It's fine. I'm living an equally mirthful life without being loved or having to love another romantically. I'm contented with just watching them from afar, because I am the girl who can't love again. If they are happy then -

 

What about you? Why don't you want to be happy? Why don't you want to be like Su Min?

 

Luhan cares about you. Maybe you still have a better chance than her! Look at you, you still have a tugging feeling in your heart. You secretly don't want them to meet up and for Su Min to tell him how she feels.

 

Just admit it already. You want something more to happen between you and Luhan.

 

Everyone is fighting for their happiness. Why are you allowing what could be your happiness to be taken away?

 

I closed my eyes and silenced the voices. It's just going to hurt in the end. It's just going to hurt in the end. I repeatedly thought to myself.

 

I opened my eyes and lowered my head to the ground. I could see my shadow, alone and exposed in the mid-day sun, weirdly longer than normal.

 

Everyone is finding their soul partners and you are still here, all alone -

 

A second shadow materializes on the turf adjacent to mine. It encroached, closer and closer, before that dark obscurity fused seamlessly with mine, becoming one single entity. Shocked, I flung my head upwards, wondering who was standing right next to me.

 

“I'm sorry, did you wait long?” The boy had an abashed smile plastered to his face. “I'm sorry, I was a little caught up with the traffic in front I couldn't really run really well...”

 

I did not register his final few words. I stared at him incredulously, at his chestnut brown hair, his orbicular, mesmerizing eyes and his sweat-stained skin -

 

“Hee Yun?”

 

I blinked, my sight never faltering from him. “... Luhan.” I began with a long drawl, still trying to understand what was happening. A few seconds later my brain shifted back into gear and I did a light jump and turned around, pointing at the wall. “Wait, she's over there. Did you get the location wrong? I'm... I'm just here... because...”

 

When I turned around, I was thunderstruck. Su Min's figure had utterly vaporized, as though she was nothing more but a fleeting spirit wandering through time. My tongue was knotted; what does this mean? Where is Su Min?

 

Reeling in disbelief, I rushed over to the alleyway and stared. There, in the distance, I saw Su Min walking away, to the opposite end. She seemed to have guessed that I would be back to look at her, so she turned around halfway and struck out a tongue. I was going to call out her name and ask for an explanation but seeing that I stopped.

 

She waved her handphone next to her face, before she finally turned away from me. A few steps before her was a guy I have never came across before, but Su Min easily linked arms with him, before exchanging a few words that made the couple smile.

 

“Hee Yun? What's wrong? Who's there?” Luhan's voice rang by my ear again. I spun around.

 

“You said you had something you needed my help with, right?” asked Luhan, peering curiously into my eyes. “I received this message from your friend and she explained that she had sent it instead since she said you didn't feel like troubling me. But I'm fine! I'm a little free these days and if I can help then...”

 

It was then that it finally dawned on me.

 

Su Min had been lying from the start?

 

It all came back to me – how she refused to let me see what she had sent Luhan, because she had eminently sent a message to him on my behalf, asking me out. How she had that flash of anger when I refused to admit that-

 

“Ah!” I cried out, raising a hand to my face. I felt so brainless, dancing around the palm of my friend like a buffoon.

 

She was a fine actress indeed! I forgot she actually won an award for her acting skills back in our schooling days!

 

And she did all these just to tell me -

 

My handphone buzzed and made a sound. I reached into my handbag and fished out the contraption. The screen read that I had one unread message from Su Min :

 

“I got you good, didn't I? Some best friend you are, not even knowing I already have a boyfriend. Hee Yun, I don't think I need to spell out for you what kind of thoughts you had when I told you that I wanted to confess to Luhan instead. You wanted to give up, I am sure. You wanted to give him up for me but at the same time that was not what you really wanted to see. That's why I set this up and went through those things. You need a second chance after thinking it was over for the two of you. You need this second chance to understand once and for all how you really feel about him. Remember, Hee Yun. Your first crush was taken away by your best friend back then. But that was because you didn't try to tell him how you felt and just accepted whatever that happened to you and didn't bother to do anything to change it. If you continue to think like that, you are no different than how you were in the past. So good luck! And try not to hold your breath and breathe normally if you two kiss! This is advice from a pro!”

 

How was I supposed to act? I had no inkling, but I laughed.

 

This girl, always telling me to change, when she hasn't even changed a single bit all these years.

 

 

 

Luhan was clad in a simple white shirt accompanied with a raven black jacket donned smartly over his upper torso. His pair of trousers was of a matching color to that of the jacket's, tightly fitting around his legs.

 

The aureate sunlight caught the soft strands of brown in his hair beneath his dark cap. His cloudless eyes remained pinned on me. I took a breath, not sure where to look. Now that the two of us were alone and together, I was beginning to feel my body stiffening up from the suffocating awkwardness. The words that Su Min had previously said rang in my head, of how Luhan might like me and how I might like him back, too. This felt like a very first meeting between the two of us, and everything about Luhan felt different, almost like we had been strangers from the start.

 

Or perhaps we still are.

 

“So...” began Luhan pensively. “Umm... Is everything okay?”

 

I still did not know where to look after realizing that Su Min had probably left me in the worse situation ever. I was clueless as to what to say to him about why the two of us were meeting up. I know Su Min had called him out under the pretense that I had something that I needed his help with, but lies fall always fall apart eventually. I have nothing on and surely I cannot tell him he got set up because my friend wanted this to be a date.

 

“A... A gift! For... A teacher!” I blurted out the hastiest lie I can come up with, though it only dawned on me after the fact that I had probably not been making sense. Sheepishly, I collected myself and sighed. I gave up trying to lie to him, knowing I was too easy a liar to spot.

 

“Well... I just wanted to come out for a walk. I think my friend exaggerated things with you. I'm sorry about that.” I lowered my head to the ground as I said those words. Though of course, I did not reveal the whole truth behind the matter.

 

Luhan blinked, apparently trying to take it all in. “I-Is that so?” he paused for a moment, and that pause momentarily led me to believe that he was perturbed that he had been played for a fool (though I wondered how he would felt knowing the absolute truth).

 

He smiled. “Well... That's a pity. I thought I could be of some help...” he gave a sigh then glanced to the mall behind us. “So, well, want to go inside now?”

 

His earlier pause still tugged at me. “I'm sorry about that! I-I could treat you to something! I heard the...”

 

“It's fine!” he chuckled, waving his hands. “I am free for today anyway, so this is a good getaway from my job.” he raised both his arms thereafter and did a lazy stretch.

 

Is this really all right though? For the two of us to go on a date?

 

My ratiocination yielded trying to persuade him otherwise though, since I felt guilt-ridden that he had been asked out for no apparent reason.

 

“How... has work been? Y-You've been overseas for quite some time, right?” Each syllable I spoke stumbled out of my lips with all the peculiarity of an exotic tongue. I was nothing more but a ball of nerves, everything shy of my usual self.

 

“It's been all right! Life's been hectic, but still enjoyable for me. I'm doing what I love to do, and a little exhaustion's all but worth it.” said Luhan, his face lighting up at this mention of his job. “I still think it's incredible. To be able to sing and perform in front of huge crowds, to be able to meet so many amazing and talented individuals..