I felt sleepier and sleepier. When Gi Kwang is here for me he always finds a way to get me to sleep. That's what I always do... sleep. I didn't want to fall asleep though. I lay my head on his lap.

"Sometimes, I miss them too much, but I never dream of them," I said,"I once heard, if you dream of someone who died, it is because you haven't let go of them. I haven't let them go and I don't dream of them."

"Maybe they know, if you dream of them you'll breakdown," he said,"when you dreamed of your dad saying he was at work and he wasn't dead... you cried so much, it was really sad."

"For a second I thought it was real, but then I woke up to find that it wasn't, and he was gone," I said.

"I know your mom would never want to see you sad," he said.

"I know," I said,"I love both my parents, but my dad... he left me too soon. I wasn't good to him, so he was taken away from me. It's all my fault."

"It isn't," he said,"things happen for a reason, Rinnie, some things are just meant to happen. It's life."

"I don't understand life," I said,"it's too complicated."

"Most people try to find out more about like, but it's so difficult, Rinnie, there's a cycle of life," he said.

"You're actually not a pabo," I said.

"Yeah and you're not a crybaby. You hold it in," he said.

"I know," I said.

"Well... it's late and you need to sleep," he said,"you have violin classes tomorrow."

"Oh... yeah," I said.

"Come on," he said.

We got up from the couch and went to my room. He made sure I was not to get sick by leaving the room at a certain temperature for me and tucking me into bed. I layed in and I covered myself. I felt cold. I looked at him and he kissed me on the fore head.

"Goodnight, Rinnie," he said.

"Goodnight, oppa," I said.

I felt really tired. My mind was fighting against me and I soon feel asleep. I was so tired~

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Finally got to update! Well... I'm going to bed too. I'm so sleepy and tired