Tao- "When I Want To Escape, I Think Of You"
Secrets Of A Heartless Fairy
September 24th, 2006
((Tao))
It was a clear night again and the full moon was out, shining its silver light through my window while I simply started back at it from my bed. Some part of me insisted that I should most probably go sleep since I had school tomorrow as well as early morning wushu practice, but my body didn’t seem to get the message. So just I continued to stare at the beautiful stars that twinkled in a soft white light.
I don’t know if it was the moonlight or the calmness of night, but Exi suddenly came to my mind. I wondered about her, what she was doing, and whether she was still awake or sleeping peacefully at this very moment. That’s when I had the sudden urge to reach for my charging phone next to my bed and open up the whatapp messenger to see if she was online or not. To my disappointment, she wasn’t. I wasn’t surprised, though: we had already said good night some hours ago. But since she had told me that she didn’t sleep with her cellphone next to her, then messaging her wouldn’t hurt since she wouldn’t hear it if she was sleeping, right?
With those thoughts in mind, I typed up a short message and pressed the ‘send’ button on my touch screen.
HZT: “Mei-mei~ You awake? I can’t sleep…” (3:23 AM)
I smiled softly at the screen as I imagined her phone receiving the message and vibrating slightly to tell her about it. She would reach for it lazily, missing a couple of times or so, and then proceed to unlock the screen to see why it was making so much noise. Once she read my message, she would smile in the slightest and reply back immediately with something like-
BEEP BEEP
Surprised, I grabbed my phone from my nightstand and looked at the lock screen: I had a new message from Exi herself.
EXI: “You’re not alone, Gege… I can’t sleep either…” (3:25 AM)
HZT: “Mei-mei! What are you doing up so late?” (3:25 AM)
EXI: “I told you, I can’t sleep.” (3:25 AM)
HZT: “I got that much.” (3:25 AM)
HZT: “But why? Is something wrong?” (3:25 AM)
EXI: “It hurts…” (3:26 AM)
HZT: “Your ankle, again? You’ve been taking your medicine, right?” (3:26 AM)
EXI: “Yes, but that’s the reason why it hurts…” (3:26 AM)
HZT: “Huh? Your ankle hurts because you’ve been taking your medicine?” (3:26 AM)
EXI: “No, my head hurts because I’ve been talking my medicine.” (3:27 AM)
HZT: “What?” (3:27 AM)
EXI: “And because my head hurts, I can’t sleep.” (3:27 AM)
HZT: “I… see…?” (3:27 AM)
HZT: “But, wait… shouldn’t the painkillers help you with your headaches?” (3:28 AM)
EXI: “I don’t know. I’ve never taken any before.” (3:28 AM)
HZT: “You’ve never taken any painkillers before?” (3:28 AM)
EXI: “That’s right.” (3:28 AM)
EXI: “No one ever took me to the doctor or gave me medical treatment before I broke my ankle, so I wouldn’t know.” (3:29 AM)
HZT: “Not even when you had a cold or a fever?” (3:29 AM)
EXI: “Nope, they just told me to stay in bed and sleep. It usually worked, plus I developed a strong immune system.” (3:29 AM)
HZT: “But what happened when that wasn't enough?” (3:29 AM)
EXI: “Well, I still got cured. I’m alive today, aren’t I?” (3:30 AM)
Exi had taken a little more time than usual to answer that last question and I could tell that she erased her previous answer at least twice because the ‘typing’ status constantly appeared and disappeared the whole minute I wasted for her reply. On my side of the screen, however, one simple thought passed through my head: what type of life had this girl been leading until now? How could no one give her a simple ibuprofen when she was hurting or an aspirin when she was sick with a cold? Those things didn’t exactly need a prescription or were that expensive to tell the truth. So how could that girl never have taken a pill in her life before the age of twelve?!
EXI: “I just don’t believe that medicine can help, that’s all.” (3:31 AM)
HZT: “What do you mean…?” (3:32 AM)
EXI: “I mean that medicine promises you many things, like feeling better immediately and helping you get rid of a virus and all the positive things and whatnot. But what people never take into consideration is how bad the side effects actually are, or the fact that the medicine might not work on them at all. They just blindly put their faith in it and hope that it’ll work, when actually some of the most vicious diseases have been caused because of medicine development itself.” (3:32 AM)
HZT: “So you’re basically trying to tell me that you’re suffering the side effects of those painkillers right now in the form of a headache?” (3:32 AM)
EXI: “Exactly~” (3:33 AM)
EXI: “Well, since this is the first medicine I’ve ever taken them, then I guess it was to be expected.” (3:33 AM)
HZT: “But, hey, if it’s hurting you that much, why don’t you simply stop taking the painkillers? No more headache that way~!” (3:33 AM)
EXI: “I can’t because they’re the strong kind, and if I stop taking them all of a sudden, then they’ll actually do me more harm than good…” (3:33 AM)
EXI: “Hey, why did I ever agree to go to the doctor…? My ankle would’ve healed sooner or later…” (3:34 AM)
EXI: “Just so you know, I’m blaming Gege for all of this!” (3:34 AM)
HZT: “Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait a second! How is any of this my fault?” (3:34 AM)
EXI: “You were the one who told me to go to the doctor in the first place!” (3:34 AM)
HZT: “So?” (3:35 AM)
HZT: “Can’t I worry about you?” (3:35 AM)
EXI: “…” (3:35 AM)
HZT: “Actually, if I remember correctly, you thanked me that night for worry about you! So, touché!” (3:35 AM)
EXI: “Fine! I am thankful that you worried about me. But that still doesn’t change the fact that if it wasn’t for your insistence, I would’ve never gone to the doctor and I would’ve never had to take these pills that are giving me a horrible headache right now, that doesn’t let me sleep!” (3:36 AM)
HZT: “Man, that was a long sentence…” (3:36 AM)
EXI: “I know.” (3:36 AM)
EXI: “But, hey, don’t change the subject, it’s still your fault I can’t sleep right now, you know!” (3:36 AM)
HZT: “AHG! You know what? Fine, you win, Mei-mei! I’m the reincarnation of all evil because I forced you to go to the doctor, and shoved painkillers and who knows what other type of medicine down your throat to help your ankle get better! Happy?” (3:37 AM)
EXI: “Very~! ^_^” (3:37 AM)
I let out a chuckle and smiled at our silliness. Exi might’ve been a little cold at first, but now she was really open to me and was actually quite fun to talk to. I also enjoyed talking to her a lot for the simple fact that I never had to worry about being judged by her. When I told her something, even if it was terribly ridiculous, she would understand me and tell me what she really thought. I never had to worry about hiding myself because no matter how good our relationship would get, it was highly doubtful that we’ll ever meet outside the texts. And even though I kind of regretted the last part, I found comfort in it, too.
HZT: “So, are you sleepy yet, Mei-mei?” (3:38 AM)
EXI: “No.” (3:38 AM)
HZT: “Then how about we talk about something until you do feel sleepy?” (3:38 AM)
EXI: “Okay! What do you want to talk about, Gege?” (3:38 AM)
HZT: “I don’t know. How about you tell me about dance class? You haven’t talked about dancing in a while…” (3:38 AM)
EXI: “Oh, dance class is boring. Ever since I injured my ankle, my teacher doesn’t let me join in. He just tells me to sit in the back and watch because there’s no way I can actually practice with a broken ankle.” (3:39 AM)
EXI: “But, you know, the worst part is that most of my class actually thinks that I faked my injury because I think I’m so good at dancing that I don’t need to practice like everyone else. They’re always so mean to me, even when I haven’t done anything to them…” (3:39 AM)
HZT: “Mei-mei, I’m sorry… But really, don’t listen to them! They’re must probably just jealous and say those things because they know that they can’t dance as well as you do :)” (3:40 AM)
EXI: “Thanks, Gege!” (3:40 AM)
EXI: “You know, sometimes I wish that you were here with me so that you can tell me all the things I want to hear in person… But then I think about not having you at all, and end up thinking that it’s better to have you at least like this than not have you at all, Gege…” (3:40 AM)
HZT: “Hey, are you sure you’re still up for talking, Mei-mei? You sound like you’re getting sleepy since you’re hardly making sense anymore…” (3:41 AM)
EXI: “You might be right, Gege. I am getting sleepy.” (3:41 AM)
HZT: “Okay, then. Go to sleep, Mei-mei. We’ll talk more tomorrow, okay?” (3:41 AM)
EXI: “Okay~!” (3:41 PM)
HZT: “Good night, Mei-mei!” (3:41 AM)
EXI: “Night night dreams, Gege~” (3:42 AM)
After that, I plugged my phone back to its charger over my nightstand and plopped back onto my bed.
Truthfully, I was lying when I said that Exi wasn’t making any sense in that last message because, in fact, she was making more sense that I ever did. In less than a week, that girl had become more than just a simple stranger that lived on another country; she had become someone I cared about, the person I looked for when I wanted to talk about my hardships. She was my escape from the cruelties of real life. Yes, because every time I wanted to escape reality, I thought of her and I knew that she was waiting for me at the other side of the screen to make my faith in humanity come alive again.
So with her in mind, I closed my eyes and before I knew it, I was already fast asleep.
~*~
A/N: Aw, man. I feel so bad... I haven't updated in more than a week... I'm so sorry, but I started classes and everthing just got so busy and crazy. I know it's not an excuse, but I'm seriously not lying when I say that I hardly had time to finish all my homework, let alone write >.< But I think that I've gotten things under control now, since today was a holiday, and I might start updating more frequently (I can't make any promises on that, thought). I've thought a lot about my story during this time and there are a lot of free ideas roaming around in my head just waiting for me to write them all down, so I think that the chances are high of me actually keeping that promise~! I worked really hard on this longer-than-usual chapter so I hope you all enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! ^_^ Once again, thank you so much for reading~! *bows 90 degrees*
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