SHATTERED MEMORIES 
Dullness was a numbing pain, more torturous than anything else.

Dull. The world that she was looking at was a dull, grey place. She was just sitting in the middle of pale snow. Her frame shivered from the cold that danced by her side. Everything felt painful, the dark sky, the pale ground, the fading smile... There were no stars, nothing but a mist of emptiness singing to her ears. She was alone, struck in the lonely, dull land that she called her world. The world that shared her secrets, her thoughts... Her dreams. Empty. That was her reflection. 

She couldn't feel a thing. Everything was starting to come to her. She was afraid. She didn't want to open her eyes. The world that she'd head back to would be the world of the forgotten smile. He won't be there anymore, she knows that, and that was exactly what scared her. This broken heart that she ought to dispose has been replaced by the heart of a forgotten man. The heart of that one important person that she no longer remembers. She held her hands to her glassy eyes. What is there to hope for when she wakes up? She didn't know. No matter how much she begged, no matter how much she wished for it, the results were still the same anyway.

Kim Myungsoo would no longer be there. That was the ending that she wouldn't want to see.

"Smile, Daesom." How can she smile knowing what she did to him? How can she smile knowing how much her family must have hurt him back then? Her feelings were dull, a grey film rewinding endlessly through the cracked gear of her heart. No, this was no longer her heart, but his whom she selfishly taken from. Was that why he didn't respond to her when she said to see him tomorrow? Because he knew that there was no tomorrow for him. That he wasn't going to see her anymore. That... He would no longer be there. 

"Please wake up." She can hear voices, but she didn't want to recall who it was. The voice was a blade held against , a double edged sword that hurts her no matter where she grasps. She pulled her hands to her ears, eyes squeezed shut as her knees gives in, fallen to the ground with a loud thud. Shut up. She screamed, tears stained her cold skin as she curls to the ground. Just shut up. She shook her head vigorously, refusing to submit to the voice that was begging in despair. 

His face was there, the face of the man who hurt her broken heart. He has always been hurting her even before he knew about this. Unknowingly, his unwary actions crushes her hopes, he pierced her soul, he crushed her. She nibbled her lips, drawing crimson droplets that tainted the white ground to a red sea. Don't hurt me. Her lips trembled, teeth gritted as the words began to haunt her again. "I kissed someone." She shook her head again. Stop it. Her hands trembled by her ears, and then... Footsteps. 

"I like it more when a lady smiles." Her figure stiffened, eyes slowly shifted to the young boy standing before her. It was when they were both young, she remembered. The young Myungsoo was a beautiful child as well. She pursed her lips, when his hand reached and pinched her cheeks. 

This gentle warmth, and the gentle smile...

No longer. 

What can he say? The words were held, stuck on his throat. She wasn't talking, her eyes were closed, her breathing was steadily soft. Her skin was pale as snow, and her hair was dark as the tactless night sky. She wasn't awake yet, still stuck in the dream that he didn't know about. What is she seeing in her own forbidden world? He would want to know, but she would never tell him anymore. When she opens her eyes, that will be when everything ends. She would never look at him again. Her eyes that found warmth would be buried down the cold ice that crushes him. She wouldn't forgive him, he just knew that.

But what can he do? His feelings were raw, an unpolished rough stone. He wasn't used to the burst of mixed emotions, the ups and downs of this uncomfortable feeling rumbling in his chest. He feared for the sudden burst of fury for seeing her with someone else, that the bliss of spring would be burnt with gluttony flames. The feelings were uncontrollable, like wild bulls stomping down the field. 

Daesom... He wanted her to open her eyes, but he feared for the aftermath. She wouldn't be happy with him. He was sure of it. And that small chunk that hoped for her to stay in this state... He would have punched himself for thinking so, but it was in fact, ringing in his head. The dilemma was tearing him apart. He didn't know what to do, he couldn't handle the painful situation. She was taken to slumber right after they had a fight, and everything went grey then. Her state before him hurts, it kills him more than when she wasn't even looking at him. 

He pressed his fist to his forehead, a painful press to get himself together. He won't make the same mistake again. He promised himself that. The mistake that made her turn her back against him once again, the mistake that revealed the mist of distrust in her eyes... He wouldn't do that again. He promised to control himself this time. 

"Please wake up soon..." His voice cracked, as tears choked by his throat. Her frail body was a pale mannequin. One small push was all it needs to break her apart. His hand reached, thumb gently caressed the back of her hand as he brought it to his lips. She wouldn't be able to feel this small touch, but he'd keep doing so until she wakes up. He'd keep doing so until he feels the burning pain printed to his cheek. She'd hurt him, she'd curse him, but he couldn't care anymore.

All he wants is for her to open her eyes. 

"Curse me, hate me, hurt me... Just... Please wake up..." A crystalline tear fell, and he pressed the back of her palm to his forehead. The chilling temperature on his skin scared him. Her body was a failing system, a broken doll that might shatter any moment. His hand trembled, and there was a soft smile on his face as tears constantly drown his skin. "I promised that I won't look at anyone else this time... So please..." He mumbled and closed his eyes. 

"Just wake up... And tell me that I'm lying so that I can prove them to you this time..." 

Silence, a cold silence was all the response he had received from her. She wasn't awake, her figure was dull, a cold statue lying flat on the white mattress. The sound of machines pumping next to the bed was a steady beat, a slow flow of melody. She couldn't hear him, he knew that, but why was he disappointed? He should have anticipated that respond, that she is in slumber, that she can never hear what he just said. But it still hurts knowing that when she opens her eyes, she would be giving him the same treatment. 

At that point, he carefully placed her hand by her side and rested his head on the mattress. He definitely wouldn't leave this time. He'd stay for when she opens her eyes, he will be the first one she sees. He closed his eyes, and a soft sigh passed as tears fell to the white sheets. Will he dream tonight? Will the nightmare embrace his lonely frame tonight? He wouldn't know, but the moment his lids closes, there it was again. Her cold voice, distant eyes, an