What if he doesn’t want to come with me?

                What if he doesn’t want to see his parents?

                I was a nervous wreck on the way home.  After all the adrenaline faded from my body, I began to become self-concious again.

                What did I do?  I ing yelled at his parents!

                God damn it all…

                I sighed and combed my hair back with my fingers, not enjoying the conflicting emotions playing with my brain.

                I began to feel nauseous.  It was so overwhelming.  It’s so not like me to act like that in front of people.  I’ve never done that before.  Sure, I’ve had fights with people before but they haven’t been my boyfriend’s parents. 

                I couldn’t help but think that he would be totally pissed if he found out that I talked to his parents again.

                Then, don’t tell him.

                That’s right…

                I didn’t have to tell him where we were going.  Once he gets there, he won’t be able to leave.  I only hope that they keep their promise and apologize.  I don’t want this to be complicated any further than it already is.  Especially on our second to last day in Korea. 

                Isn’t it Christmas eve tomorrow?

                My eyes flickered to the sky above me.  It was a gloomy, bitter day out.  Everything is just gray and depressing.

                So fitting for the situation.

                When I got to the apartment, I wondered if he was up yet. 

                “Luhan!”  I heard his worried voice and then I saw him charging towards me like a bull.

                Yep, he’s up.

                He basically tackled me to the ground with a bone-crushing hug.

                “What?  I left you a note, didn’t I?’ 

                “Yeah but… I don’t like waking up with you not by my side.”  He murmured into my chest.

                “I’m sorry, but I need to take you somewhere right now.”  I just wanted to get in and out, I didn’t want to spend another minute with him being like this.

                He’s so clingy and sad, it’s making me upset.  He doesn’t want to even be left alone, they really messed him up.

                “I don’t want to go… I want to stay here with you.”

                “Sehun-ah, please, just for a little bit.  It’ll be quick, I promise.”

                He doesn’t even want to leave the house…

                “Fine, but only for you, Lulu.”  He kissed my cheek and bolted off to the bathroom to get ready.

                I didn’t get up off of the floor.  I just kind of sat there, knees up to my chest, wondering why things like this happen.  He’s always hiding his emotions from me, so when he finally gives up and breaks down, he cries so hard and he feels sorry for himself and puts himself down.  I’m sure it hurts me just as much as it hurts him.  Why can’t he just show a hint of sadness?  Why does he have to feign happiness?  When my parent’s died, I didn’t hide it for a moment.  I was visibly upset, and Sehun was there.  So why can’t I be there for him?  Why won’t he let me?  Why do I have to do things behind his back?

                I snapped out of it when he emerged, looking handsome as usual. 

                “You ready?’

                “Yeah.”  He faked another smile.

                “Sehun…” 

                “What’s wrong?”

                “I could ask you the same thing?”  I shot back.

                “What do you mean?  I’m f-”  I pushed him against the wall so he couldn’t escape me when I asked him the next series of questions.

                “Don’t say you’re fine because you’re not, Sehun.  Why won’t you talk to me about your parents?  Why didn’t you tell me they beat you?” 

                His eyes widened, tears immediately glazed over but he didn’t cry.  Not a tear rolled down.

                He’s holding back again.

                “Who told you that?”  I heard the sadness and fear in his voice.

                “Your parents told me.”  I didn’t want to say that Kyungsoo told me since Sehun might get mad but I wasn’t exactly lying.

                He bit his bottom lip and let out a shaky breath.

                “Yeah… they did.” 

                “Why did you lie to me this whole time?”

                “I didn’t!” 

                “Yeah, you did, every time I asked about your parents, you had a different story.  Sehun-ah, you’re depressed, aren’t you?” 

                “No!  I’m not depressed, not when I’m with you.” 

                “Sehun, what do you want the most right now?”  I changed the subject.

                “You… of course.” 

                “You have me already.  Now, tell me what you really want.”  I pressed, feeling bad that I was interrogating him but I’m just making sure that he wants to see his parents.

                “I want…”  I saw his eyes tear up more but he was being stubborn.

                “Sehun, if you want to cry, cry.  If you hold it back you’re going to just be sadder.  I know I told you not to cry at the wedding but… I realize that I haven’t been fair to you.  You’ve been holding back because of that, right?  Just cry, okay?  Get it over with so we can leave.” 

                He didn’t say anything for a couple of moments.  All that could be heard is his breathing. 

                “Lulu… I want to be happy.  I want my parents to tell me they love me.  I want you to stop worrying about me.”  He crumbled, tears flowing out.

                It was different than the tears he cried at the wedding.  Those tears were out of fear and regret.  These were out of pure repression and sadness.  I kissed his face, saltiness invading my mouth.

                “I love you, Sehun.  I’ll make everything better, okay?  I promise.”  I whispered against his hair, holding him closer.

                He nodded, mumbling something that I didn’t quite catch. 

                I held him until he got a hold of himself.  As much as it depressed me, he had to cry his feelings out if this was going to work.  He was just sniffling now, chest heaving up and down from the intense moment.

                “I feel better now.”  He announced and it made me happy.

                “Really?”  I wondered what he meant by “better” but decided not to set him off again.

                “Yeah, I’m sorry for hiding things from you.  I know you said there would be no secrets between us.  Now there isn’t, I promise.  Let’s go now.”  He got up, wiping at his eyes.

                “Well, I have to go change my shirt, okay?  Just wash your face with cold water so that the redness goes down, okay?” 

                I felt better, too.  He didn’t seem as sad as he was before.  I think crying does help a lot.  Keeping bad feelings bottled up isn’t healthy.

                I’m just glad I got him to calm down before he hurt himself or something.

                We left shortly after, he didn’t ask any questions, surpringly.  Usually he’d be all over me, asking where we were going, why and how long it was going to take to get there. 

                As we got closer, I felt him stiffen a bit.

                He’s caught on.

                “Is everything okay?”  I glanced at him, hoping he’d say something.

                “We’re going to see my parents, right?  I can’t say I’m surprised.” 

                Well… um… that was unexpected.  I expected him to flip or something but he’s being uncharacteristically okay with it.

                “Are you… okay with that?”

                “You said you would make things better and I trust you.”  His eyes met with mine and I planted a kiss on his lips.

                “I’m glad, because they promised to apologize, okay?  You don’t have to forgive them, you just have to listen.  We’ll leave as soon as they’re done.”  I explained, and he nodded.

                His parents were already outside, tapping their feet impatiently.

                “Yah, kid, what took you so long?  You said you’d be right back but it’s been two hours.”  His father spat and Sehun flinched.

                “I brought him.”  I bowed to them and stepped back, letting go of Sehun’s hand.

               -------

Author's Note:

Hi~ I decided to make this chapter end at a cliffhanger because I need to motivate myself to write a good chapter tomorrow. Well, until that time comes, I love you!  Especially the people who still subscribe to this long- story.   I’m really impressed that you would read over fifty chapters to catch up.  Thank you so much.