January 2015

"Hi, Sunshine. It's me again. I want to ask how you're doing, but you won't answer me. But that's okay. I'll just wait until you're ready." He paused and took a deep shuddering breath before speaking again. "Sorry, Sunshine. I lost my train of thought. Where were we again? Ah yes, I was about to begin where we left off last time. That's okay, right?"

Beep...Beep...Beep...

He gritted his teeth against the ache in his chest and forced a smile. "Number 999..."

Sunshine,

If I told you I remember the first time I saw you, would you believe me?

I remember the wind messing up your hair, sending the mass of curls all over your face. The laugh you made when you lifted a slender hand to push it out of your face. The smile on your lips as you held the hand of a bouncing child. The scent of your hair and the soft curve of your body as you collided into me. And the sweet, sweet angelic voice that formed a meek apology. But you turned away and disappeared before I could get a good look at your face.

I remember being mesmerized by the sheer happiness that radiated from you. The wonder that sparkled in your eyes. The pink glow of your cheeks. I've never seen another human being so utterly happy before. And I felt incredibly jealous, yet completely mystified. How was it that you seemed to have no worries, no pain, no suffering. Nothing, but an extraordinary amount of happiness.

I didn't understand.

Yet there I stood just staring after you like an idiot. Unable to ask and unable to feel.

If I told you that every time I look at you is like the first time I saw you, would you believe me?

This time, his heartache increased tenfold and tears welled up in his eyes. But still, he held on. Persevering, just like she said he would. Yes, if he kept thinking that way, he could keep it together. If he just kept believing...believing... A choked sob nearly rendered his efforts useless, but he bit down hard on his tongue and the sharp pain dulled the ache. Just a litle bit. But it was enough for him to continue.

"Number 1,000..." 

Dragon,
I hope you always find a reason to smile. 
Even if I'm not there to see it.
I love you. Forever and always.
Take care, my beautiful Jiyong.
Goodbye.
  

Beep....Beep....Beep...

And the dam broke. The tears he had been holding back for so long finally made their way down his cheeks and onto the crisp, pink stationary paper he held in front of him. The paper, no. The letter addressed to him was dated for the year 2015.

No month, no day. Just the year.

She had not known what month and day to put because she hadn't known the expiration date. Her expiration date. Had he not found the letter he would've never known. Had he not found out, she would not be here. Here, dressed in a stiff, white hospital gown, an IV in her arm, an oxygen mask over her nose and dying. 

Dying.

If he had not known, he would've still been blissfully unaware of her pain and suffering. But now that he knew, he hated himself. Hated himself because he was the one that put her here.

"I'm so sorry...so sorry. I'm sorry..." He wept. "Forgive me... I'm so sorry..."

Beep...Beep...Beep...

Dragon,
I love you.

Sunshine,
I know.

Dragon,
Won't you say it back to me?

Sunshine,
I'm...I'm just not ready yet.

Dragon,
I just thought this time would be different.

Sunshine,
I'm sorry.

Dragon,
I know.

A/N: Thanks a bunch to my beta reader, Nara~ Thanks for putting up with my whining and half asleep nonsense writing. Love you bunches~ :D