Chapter Twenty Nine - Guidance
Mischief and Love"Apparently Taemin and Minho been in the hotel room for a while now." Jonghyun says, and his tone is a mix of amusement and wonder. Onew just chuckles, sitting next to him on the sand, as they watch the waves crashing against the shore. It smells of french fries as I stroll by with some on a plate.
"Just let them be. They've sorted everything out." I mutter; and it is quite awkward with just the three of us here. Usually; Taemin would be there to distract me, and Minho would be bullying Jonghyun. But with Onew between us as I sits down, I am reminded of what I have to sort out. I swallow bitterly, and I let Onew steal some chips and munch on them.
"I'm so hungry, I could eat a whole chicken," Onew grumbles, and he's stealing even more, and I protest by smacking him on the head. He winces.
"So why don't you go eat? I bought these for myself, fatass."
"Hey, respect the leader." Onew snaps back at me; but he's teasing, as he playfully pushes my shoulder and grins back at me. I snort, but there is a smile threatening to escape. "I'll tell SM to cut down your lines."
I snort again, sticking my tongue out. "Less work for me then."
Onew fake gasps, and I find myself bursting into laughter at his ridiculous stunned expression. He truly is an idiot; but I love him just like this. "Stop doing that, you're freaking me out." He grins, bright and cheery again.
I watch with wide-eyes as he suddenly grabs a fistful of sand and waves it around threateningly, "I'll pour this in your chips!"
"You will not." I hiss, putting the plate of chips away from his reach, "You ," I watch worriedly as his sneaky little hand swoops around like an airplane, and he's laughing evilly, "Yah! Stop it!"
"Ok--" He's about to drop the sand, but he suddenly gets shoved from the back by an annoyed-looking Jonghyun, and the sand, doesn't only fall onto my precious warm chips, but also on me.
There is a very long silence, and I just sit there, stunned, with ruined chips and a very sandy shirt. I feel sand prick at my eyes and with an angry hiss, I drop the plate, and furiously wipe at my eyes, "What the hell--"
"Oh ," Onew sounds panicked, and I feel gentle hands prying away my clenched fists, "Water, here--"
He carefully takes my hand and pours some water on it, and I quickly wipe at my eyes, blinking at the burn. It goes away soon enough; and I almost laugh at the very concerned leader staring at me, eyes wide. "Is it okay?"
"Yeah, but my chips aren't okay." I grunt, and I shoot a glare at Jonghyun, who strangely looks very pissed off. I never did anything to him; what the hell was his problem?
"Man." Onew whispers, and I snicker at his miserable tone, as he stares at the very sandy chips now. In between the fun and laughter; there is tension between us three. I know Onew knows Jonghyun is angry; and it is most Jonghyun's fault for the ruined chips, but I am glad he doesn't speak about it, and doesn't bring Jonghyun in it. He's a damn good leader, that's for sure.
I brush off my shirt and after a while; Onew stands up. He looks me in the eye as he says, "I'm gonna go get some food. Come get me if you need anything." I know he's not just implying food; and I send him an assuring smile as he gives me a quick thumbs up before jogging off. If only I wasn't head over heels for a certain man; Onew would honestly be the best boyfriend material there ever was, dorkiness and all.
I cringe at how awkward it gets when it's just us two. There is a noticeable gap between us; but I don't bother to scoot over. I don't want to piss him off any futher. I decide to stick to a safe topic, "You ruined my chips."
He just glances my way; jaw clenched and saying nothing.
"Maybe you owe me an apology?" I suggest, and I feel so meek and small; unlike my usual confident character.
He scoffs. "Sorry." He says, and it sounds so sarcastic and so mocking that it pisses me off. I glare at him.
"What crawled up your ? I'm just trying to be--"
"Trying to be what, huh?" He suddenly yells; and I flinch, so glad I hadn't shifted closer. He looks at me; and the pain and anger in his eyes is so visible, that it makes my throat day as I quickly look away. I hate being yelled at; and he of all people know that. But yet he continues, "Trying to be funny? Trying to be hilarious? Well whatever you're trying to do to me isn't funny, dammit! You don't know how ing upset I am at you, but yet at the same time I wish nothing more for us to be close again!"
I bitterly look away. As friends, right? It seems like he's reading my mind, because he continues furiously, "I don't care, Key. I just give up. Whatever you're trying to do; isn't working. I'm more hurt than anything."
"You're not the only one who's hurt." I find myself whispering quietly, and it hurts to even speak; my eyes wet already. "Maybe if you started looking at me like I was something more than just a friend, it wouldn't hurt."
"And maybe if you start looking at me closely; you would realize I know I've ed up, Key!" He's yelling again, and his voice breaks. I know he's crying, but I don't want to look. I'll end up crying with him; because nothing hurts more to me than a crying, upset Jonghyun. He has always been emotional; and I feel like this trait is sticking to me now too. "You act like i'm the worst person in the world just because I made a mistake. You wont forgive me, no matter how hard I try, no matter how times I apologize. Do you want me to get on my knees for you? But then again, I think you'll just laugh at me. That's what you've always been doing, right? Laughing at my stupidity, how dense I am?"
I want to speak, but he interrupts, "I'm human, Key. And that reaction I gave you at that time was caused because of confusion and a mess of other emotions. I thought you were screwing with me; and that it was some sick joke you were playing on me. And yet; out of all people, you; the one I thought would understand me the best, judges me almost immediately. I understand you were hurt; and I feel you, but maybe you could've thought about. You are the first man to confess to me. What do you expect me to do? Jump in your arms and confess back? It isn't that easy, for me. But yet you expected me to do so much. I'm not some type of confident player. You know how serious I am with girls as well. And you don't know how much it hurt me when you started yelling at me; started ignoring me. Like I didn't even exist. You wouldn't even forgive me, and I don't even know if you ever will."
I'm crying by the end of his ranting; and I feel like such a horrible, horrible person. This whole time; I was winding up in my own pain that I never really knew how much it affected him as well. At that point; I didn't even bother to wonder if he loved me back. The thought I had hurt the man I loved most was filling my heart, breaking it into pieces. I knew I had to apologize. "I'm so--"
"Don't apologize, I had forgiven you already." Jonghyun tries to smile; but it looks so pained that my heart aches for him. "Hey, I don't like seeing you cry." I freeze as he suddenly leans over, his thumb gently, caringly brushing away the teardrops on my cheeks. "You don't look nice when you cry. Can't you smile?"
"You are such a ing d-dork." I manage to whisper brokenly, and it's all I say before he suddenly yanks me foward, and embraces me so tightly I almost forget how to breathe. I had missed his sweet scent so much, and the closeness of his skin. I feel wetness on my shoulder; and I hug him even tighter. "You don't look nice when you cry either."
He chuckles miserably, face nuzzling my neck. "We're both ugly then, screw everyone else."
I manage to smile my first genuine smile with him, and my eyes slip close as he doesn't let me go. "I'm sorry that I messed things up, for both of us." I mumble into his neck. I sound muffled, but I know he hears me, as he gently kisses my hair; something he always did to comfort me. My heart fills with warmth at the sweet gesture.
"We're humans, we make mistakes. Can we forget about the pain?"
"Of course."
I want to see his handsome face, so I gently pull away; but it seems like he wanted to do the same, because suddenly our faces knock; and our lips brush against each others. We both freeze, and a wave of panic runs over me. Everything is going to be ruined already; and I want to move away hurriedly; my eyes filling with pain.
Jonghyun stops my struggling by pressing closely, and I can feel his hesitance, but I don't care. My heart has never beaten so fast, and an involuntary whimper escapes me as my eyes close. I have no idea why he's doing this; but yet I don't want him to stop. I know this is new to him, so I gently comfort him by pulling him closer, fingers the back of his hair. His stiff posture relaxes, and he tilts his head, and there really is no better feeling than this.
We don't go any further; just choosing to stick with a simple press of our lips. I knew he wasn't ready for anything else, and I was not going to pressure him either. I pull away, and smile at the sight of his cheeks flushed; eyes shy. "Why.. did you do that?" I bite my lip, and I know i'm blushing for sure.
"I don't know, but it felt right." Jonghyun mumbles, and his cute, awed expression makes my heart flutter. "Key.. i'm not sure of what I feel; but I know I at least like you enough to do that.. please don't be angry with me. I need you; and I hope you can help me with my feelings."
His declaration is the most cutest thing ever, and I find myself squealing at how adorable he is being. I literally feel like i'm soaring. It almost felt too good to be true; but I knew it wasn't a dream by that the bright smile he was now directing to me.
He kisses me again; and I whisper the only word left in my dictionary, but with fondness.
"My idiot."
*~*~*~*~*
A/N: So there you go, Jongkey is all done and--
/PUNCHED. /SLAPPED. /PRACTICALLY MURDERED.
Okay I know you guys cannot forgive me for this looong wait for a simple update. And I feel you, I really do. I lost my spark for this story and I didn't want to force out chapters; because it would look toooo choppy. But now i'm back with my 2min feels and I assure you, that if the next update takes too long, you are free to spam my wall or something.. idk. I deeply apologize T__T /bows down.
anyway.. I hope ya'll jongkey shippers are satisfied now. I know I am. XD jongkey took too long to sort their out! these two /sighs, shakes head. now that both of the otp's are done~~ what is next? you will see (i actually don't know either but.. XDD)
thank youuu for still sticking with me even though I am the tiest author alive! I love you, EVEN THOUGH YOU ALL HATE ME! <3333
Comments