Chapter Twenty Four - Shattered

Mischief and Love

Selfish.. selfish.. selfish.

I picked up a fistful of sand, threw it away. Picked up another fistful and threw it away. Again and again, I repeated this process with that sickly bitter word lingering in my mind. Speaking of my mind, it was a jumbled up mess right now. One part of it was trying to be the sane part and trying to calm down my sorrowful heart, while the other was just dead. 

What was the point of even trying to gain Minho's love again when I would be the last person he wants to see? Something I had thought would grow into a blooming, beautiful flower crushed and wilted because of some stupid plan, and also one person if you counted the remains of the flower.

Speaking of that person, he was nowhere to be seen. I had tried to find Kai everywhere-- from his hotel room to the shops and the beaches. I even tried to ask his friends but they all replied that they hadn't seen him and Kyungsoo anywhere. Of course, they were together. Probably enjoying some gorgeous love together and letting me sit here in pain.

I groan in frustration.

I realize I have also become quite selfish now. Everything I wanted was just circling around my mind and I felt I should be the center. Of course, it was just because I had been pretty much rejected from Minho. 

Selfish.. selfish.. selfish.

I'm about to throw another fistful of sand in the air but a hand catches my wrist. I already know who it is from the deep sigh and warm, comforting hand. 

"You're going to get sand in your eyes." Onew simply states, warm and soothing as he sits besides me on the sand. "I know you're upset but just throwing fistfuls of sand everywhere isn't going to solve your problems."

"I know that." The words came out in a harsher tone than I expected, but he didn't seem hurt. He simply smiled at me.

"Well if you know that why are you just sitting here?"

I sigh heavily, eyes squeezing shut. I didn't want to talk to anybody, at least not now. Onew was no exception, even though he had comforting words for me. I bring my legs together and rest my chin on my knee. "I don't know."

"I guess it was partly our fault aswell, huh?" He murmurs quietly, and I open my eyes and blink at him. "The plan, I mean," He smiles at me again. "Don't think that it's all your fault, Tae. Key, Jonghyun and I were also in it aswell."

I stay silent for a long time and just listen to the waves rushing back and forth against the shore. Onew knew I was in no mood to talk just yet so he continued to sit besides me but was silent the whole time as I watched my surroundings. Things felt calmer than they actually were, and I wondered if it was Onew's light presence or the beach.

It was confirmed to be Onew's presence when I met his gaze and spoke softly, "Minho's not upset I was doing the plan because of him, but that we were hiding it behind his backs the entire time."

"He doesn't like to be lied to, or oblivious to things." Onew agrees, nodding slightly. 

Another silence floats between us before I decide to ask, "What is love to you?"

Onew stares at me, before his lips break out into a charming smile. "Something that can't be explained in words, really. But I guess.. it's a feeling so strong in your heart, that you'll know you're in love when you'd do anything for that person, no matter what it is."

I'm about to , but he continues. "Taemin, tell me. Are you in love with Minho?"

"I am,--"

"If you are, I don't think you'd be sitting here on your and doing nothing about it."

I'm about to argue and tell him it's not that easy to get someone back, but he's already standing up and dusting his shorts. "I haven't experienced love just yet, but I think that if you love someone you shouldn't give up so easily." He then shrugs lightly. "I may be wrong though. I'll know sometime soon."

He just walks off, leaving me with my thoughts.

 

*~*~*~*

On my way to our hotel room, I bump into Yuri.

It would've been okay if Kai didn't choose the exact same time to stumble into the hallway.

I don't even hesitate before I grab his shoulders and slam him against the wall, teeth gritted and eyes shooting daggers. He flinches, eyes unreadable.

Yuri is silent behind me, having no words to say. I suppose Kai had let her into the secrets aswell.

"ing bastard," I voice my thoughts out loud, growling. "To think I trusted you." 

He swallows uncomfortably as my grip on his shoulders tighten. "Y-you know I had a reason.."

"To ruin my life?!" I yell, only to have him flinch at the rage in my wavering voice. "Well thanks a lot, it worked, you !"

"Taemin--" Yuri makes a move to pull me off, but my glare makes her freeze. "T-taemin.." She breathes out, taking a few steps back. "Stop-- just stop it. Let him go." 

My eyes are narrowed as I yank my hands off his shoulders and take a few steps back, my teeth still gritted. "You could've let me done it."

He relaxes, moving his shoulders a little and giving me a wary look. "Something you would've never done."

"And how the would you, of all people know that? I would've told him eventually." The more I spoke the lies, the more I realized how right he was.

"And why? Huh? Eventually?" It seemed like he wasn't afraid anymore. I could see the fury beginning to light in his eyes as he backs me up, making my back hit the wall. "I was never close with Minho but what you had done was just sick and selfish."

I scoff, pushing him back and making him stumble a few steps. "You were in it at one point, you ."

"Because of you, dammit!" He yells, loudly. It makes Yuri flinch and take a few steps back. Both of us don't even glance at her when she stiffly glances at Kai and turns around, running away into the distance of the hallway and into her room. We hear a door slam shut loudly, breaking the silence. "I did it because of you." His voice lowers. "Because I ing loved you."

I freeze. I can hear my own breath hitch as he gazes intensely into my eyes. From his sentence I would've expected at least hidden love or admiration at least, but all that was left in his eyes was bitter sadness. Loved. He felt nothing for me anymore. Was I supposed to be upset or relieved? I didn't know.

"Everyday I would have to watch as you just threw yourself on Minho." He continues, with slightly glassy eyes. "It would hurt, but I did it because you, of all people asked me to."

I didn't know what to call the ache in my heart at the realization of how many people I had hurt so quickly. 

"But then somebody, somebody special made me realized that running after someone who was already head over heels with somebody else was completely useless." There was a newfound admiration in his teary eyes and I knew he was immediately talking about his loyal roommate. Loyal. Something I could never be to anyone.

"You're running after Minho and not caring who gets hurt." He speaks again and I flinch at the emptiness of his voice. "You really are selfish. I'm not telling you to give up but at least solve things correctly instead of making short cuts."

He whips around and walks away and it leaves me in an eerie sense of deja vu, the same moment when Minho walked away from me. The same moment where both Jonghyun and Onew did too.

They're all trying to make me realize something

"--at least solve things correctly instead of making short cuts."

There was somebody else I could not whirl past if I wanted to set things straight.

Yuri.

*~*~*~*

She was sitting on her bed when I went to see her in her room. She didn't even glance at me as I sat down on the bed opposite of her, both of us avoiding contact.

There was an uncomfortable silence between us and I was afraid to break it. 

She does, though.

"So you loved him all along, huh."

I swallow thickly, hands clammy and fidgeting. "I thought you knew." My voice sounded dry and raspy. I coughed a little. "You always knew."

"I knew," She agrees. "But I didn't know you loved him in that way."

I let out a shuddering breath. "Now you know." I swallow again, my dry lips. "What do you want to say to me? You can say whatever. I've already had a ty day and i'm sure nothing can make me feel any worse."

When we lock eyes, I flinch at the coldness in hers. "Well, did you know that Minho loved you ever since we even started to date?"

I'm motionless.

"You did your ing plan for nothing, you heartless bastard." Her words cut right into my heart. Tsch, nothing can make me feel any worse-- well, wasn't I wrong. "He was confused about his feelings for you. He didn't know if what he felt for you was just love or strong friendship, therefore he started to date me to figure it out. But he loved you, a lot. Much more than he had ever even began to love me. You broke his heart. You tore it out when you brought somebody he despised into this-- Kai. You made him jealous and made him feel worthless every single day he saw you together. One ing day, he even asked me, "am I not enough for anyone?" But I knew he was talking about you. I knew it all along but I tried to deny it. And now, when Kai confirmed that he was trying to get him in love with you, he just broke. Hiding something like that? It hurt him to no end. You could've just confessed in the beginning. You've ruined things."

By the time she's finished talking, i'm already crying, head ducked and tears falling onto my thighs. 

"I would pity you, but he's gone through worse."

Her sentence was so true that it made me cry even harder.

A/N: Told you guys I would update quickly! :D 

But sadly, yes, it's a gloomy sad chapter. /miserable face. You'll have to deal with the angst for a slight bit though. 

Anyway, CAN I JUST HUG YOU ALL.

I expected most of you to abandon this lame fic because I hadn't updated in forever, but OH MY GOD there are still many of you left and it makes my heart burst in happiness. I love you all, like a lot, a lot. <3333333333333 /throws endless hearts.

Oh and i'm not sure if the next chapter will be soon again, or after April 5th (my holiday) . But that's not long away, so WAIT FOR ME OKAY. <3

 

 

 

 

 

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RainbowCupcake
btw ya'll are so nice. thank you for upvoting this story!

Comments

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2min1212
#1
Chapter 30: I read in one go and I love itttt
MrsLeeTaemin
#2
Chapter 24: MAN EVERYONE IS JUST TING ON TAEMIN.
MrsLeeTaemin
#3
Chapter 20: BRUH. I've always wanted to go cliff diving.
MrsLeeTaemin
#4
Chapter 17: Seeing a gif of baby Minho has cured all of my problems.
MrsLeeTaemin
#5
Chapter 2: This story is such a flashback omg.
InMemoryofJonghyun
#6
Chapter 30: Nice story you got here. I read it all in one go throughout the night. I was going to go to to sleep at 2am damnit! Oh well, at least it had a happy ending.
You did the tension build perfectly btw, though the actual I found to be a bit lacking. I also would have liked more wrap up in the last chapter. It feels unfinished to me, rushed.

But I have to today I love the badass chapter. That moment where Taemin has a cheering team in head to say he's so ing awesome, it's hilarious. I could just see a stadium of people just going wild in his head... It's a really funny mental image.
The jongkey ending was more satisfying to me than the 2min one. Because the 2min one felt very easy. It was literally them saying I love you and getting together. Jongkey had more of a fight, which settled everything. But with the 2min one I would would have liked them to be more desperate. Taemin actually apologizing for the plan and not telling him, etc.

Anyway, great story! Keep up up the good work.
Red_lantern #7
AWESOME STORRYYYYY LUVE IT
kuroainii
#8
Chapter 30: Thank you so much for your story. I don't know how to express my love for this story. Thank you also for making me laugh and cry at the same time lol. I really love the interactions and how they slowly realize their mistakes and love for each other. It was so sweet and lovely!!! ❤❤❤
devilishangel_15
#9
Chapter 30: I read this is in one go. I LOVED it :) I love the struggles they go through and how the come to realize that they love each other. Thank you so much for this wonderful piece. I was squealing the whole time and in some bits i laughed so hard and fangirles so hard and in some bits i got teary, because it was beautiful but painful too. You did a GREAT job on this :)
K-Joon
#10
Chapter 30: Umm I really don't know what to say...first I want to thank you for this beautiful story, I enjoyed it soooo much that you can't even imagine. Second I want to tell you that you have done great job, your fic was so awesome and fantastic. I love this kind of fics and I also ship JongKey so....you just made my day, because I read it all in one day.
My poor heart...It's like I want to beg for a sequel, but I don't think it's nesesery. I mean that this story is complete and have wonderful ending but still I would enjoy it much when the story will be some day continued. I know that there is nothing to write anymore but style of your writing and plot of this fic just simple amazed me. So even if I want you to continue this fic It will be not possible. But it's okay. Because their story freshly began. And we can only imagine like their life would look a like. I think it's great. I'm really amazed. Thank you so much one more time for this pleasure I was having reading this. Great job authornim. Hwaiting <3