E POV

            The other members sat around me, muttering their condolences. Leeteuk-hyung stayed with me and knew that I was hurting, because he understood my feelings went beyond that of best friend. The most sensitive of the members, Ryeowook, had to leave after Donghae’s heart began to pulse irregularly, nearly going into cardiac arrest. He was crying so hard, Yesung-hyung offered to take him, as well as Sungmin home. At last, our leader ushered everyone back to the dorm.

            “You all need your rest,” he told them when they were reluctant to leave. “Eunhyuk-ah? Are you coming?”

            I shook my head, I had to stay with my Donghae. I couldn’t leave him after having left him so many times in the clutches of that evil woman. I could never forgive myself. It was definitely my fault that he was this way. Maybe if I haven’t’ given up on him and remained his friend, he would be able to have someone to talk to. But I had abandoned him. I left him to suffer the mental games of Jessica.

            After the doors closed behind them, I buried my head into my hands. “Ahhh, wake up Donghae. Please, my Fishy. Don’t leave us, don’t leave me.” I tried to keep the tears from falling and stood up when the nurse came in to check on him.

            “Are you staying here overnight?” she asked, her voice was kind. I nodded wordlessly. “Here, sleep on this couch, I’ll bring in blankets for you.” I bowed my thanks and resumed my vigil by his bedside.

            I sat there, thinking about all our memories, my entire seven years were completely focused on him. It was because of Lee Donghae that I survived my training years, and he was the one who kept me in Super Junior. Without him, everything else has no meaning.

            I closed my eyes and pictured the times we would argue over the pettiest things. It was either about not greeting one another or not asking each other to go out for dinner. It was all in good humor. I remembered back in the days when Super Junior M would go to China and Taiwan for months at a time, leaving me at home pining. Gosh, I felt his pain when his father was ill and the months of grief he suffered. How brave he was, going to China and putting on a happy face just for ELFs. And now, he has finally broken down because of Jessica Jung.

            I remembered the good memories. How at every performance, fans expected us to have our moments, but also how much I loved those moments too. I used to , saying we were only colleagues, but we were more than that. We were friends, and in my head we could have been lovers as well. But, that’s only in my head.

            “Donghae-ah, don’t you remember the time when that guy wanted to kiss you and I said, no, that you already belonged to me? Well, you don’t belong to me anymore, but I still picture it as that. I guess I let you go, huh? Maybe I gave up on you too easily, but it hurts me to see you with Jessica. But, I guess I hurt you instead. Selfish me. Hey, remember our moments in all the Super Shows? I pretended it was fan service, but in real life I enjoyed them a lot. I looked forward to performing with you just for those moments. And when they added me to SJM? I was ecstatic. No more waiting for you to come back, I can be there right with you. You know, sometimes I would sneak into your room and sleep on your bed just so I can breathe in your scent and pretend you were with me? Sometimes, I would not wake up because I would be hoping for you to climb in next to me, pretending to wake me up.”

            My nose began to clog and my voice thickened with unshed tears. “You know, Lee Donghae, if it wasn’t for you, I probably would have long left Super Junior. You probably don’t know, but for a while I wanted to leave. Yeah, the other members were great, but our album wasn’t selling. I was scared they would break us up. Rather than having SM put me in another band, I wanted to go solo. But I thought of you, and ELFs. And I couldn’t do it. And in the end, it’s all because of you. I was ready to tell SM, when you walked in that night and started singing your silly song. I don’t know why you did it, but you just did and that’s what kept me. How can you bear to leave me now?” I sniffled furiously and covered my face when the nurse walked in.

            She watched me silently before coming over. “There, there. Is he your best friend? All will be well, you are taking such good care of him. How can he dare leave you? The way I see it, he is a drama queen and just wants to hear you cry.” She joked, attempting to cheer me up. I smiled weakly at the ahjumma and she beamed back warmly. Patting my head once more, she walked out the door.

            I looked down at his still face. There was a sickly pallor to his complexion and the gauntness in his cheekbones glared at me. He was turning into Ryeowook, but unhealthier looking. My heart broke when I saw that his normally lively face was completely shut down. I ran my fingers down his cheek, hoping for a reaction. Nothing. His skin was cold to the touch. I choked on my tears and his hair.

            Sometime through the night, I fell asleep. I dreamed that he woke up and was smiling at me.

He was sitting up on his bed and smiling at me, his hands reaching for my face. I grabbed them and placed them on my cheek, relishing the feel of his touch. “Donghae-ah,” I said. “Don’t you ever dare leave me again.”

He smiled gently and nodded subtly. I leaned in close and began to confess to him of my love and how much I’ve gone through since his engagement to Jessica, how much we’ve gone through. I kept talking and talking before I realized there was a long beep and then silence as all the machines powered down. The hands I was holding turned ice cold under my touch and he seemed to melt before me, his facial features turning to wax and his hands oozing through my fingers. I screamed and woke up.

I jerked myself up from where my head was on his bed. I glanced frantically at the man next to me and saw a shallow breathing. I took a deep breath and began to sing to him.

“One Love, One Love

The memories are beautiful, I don’t ever wanna say goodbye.

One Love, One Love

The memories are beautiful, never let you go.”

At times of pain, these two phrases would rush back at me. When I first wrote this, I was thinking of the girl who broke my heart. But ever since I discovered I was in love with Donghae, I would perform it for him. I continued to sing, even attempting to imitate Ryeowook’s wonderfully high pitched voice and Yesung and Kyuhyun’s impossibly deep voices. I made Monkey faces, and gently poked him, hoping for a reaction. But it was all in vain.

I stayed up the whole night, only leaving his side when the nurses came in to check on him. Once, I thought I heard him stir and sat up, excited. But it turned to be a figment of my imagination. All the hope that bubbled up popped and died. Growling, I felt pain and rage rise in my chest.

“Ya, you stupid fish! Wake up! You’re always doing this, trying to make me feel guilty for hurting you. I’m sorry, okay? Just wake up, I hate you so much. I hate how much power you have over my emotions, and I hate how I still love you even though you’ve hurt me for that witch. I hate you, and I wish I can say I want you to die, but I don’t. I don’t even want to be with you if it means you can live. Just come back to me.”

D POV

            My mind was in a hazy state, my thoughts were unable to connect and all sound was incoherent. I only vaguely felt the pokes and prods, and only subtly conscious of the people surrounding me. At last, I felt at peace. There was nothing for me to think about. I was able to safely remain nestled in my cocoon. Some time in my long dreamless sleep, I heard a voice calling me.

            It was singing a familiar tune, with a phrase that keeps echoing in my otherwise empty head.

“One Love, One Love

The memories are beautiful, I don’t ever wanna say goodbye.

One Love, One Love

The memories are beautiful, never let you go.”

            I tried desperately to place where I’ve heard it before, but my brain wouldn’t cooperate. There was just a sense of happiness as I heard the soothing husky voice sing and rap. The sound sent happy signals throughout me and I felt myself relax, the throbbing pain already gone. When the voice fell silent, I began to cry silently, wanting the lullaby back.

            I lied there waiting, hoping for the soothing voice when I felt a light flutter on my cheek. I tried to pry my eyes open but it took too much effort. The voice spoke again and this time, I knew. A powerful force streaked through my white sky and burst into flames. There was one name to came to mind and that was Eunhyuk.

I know I promised Eunhae, but rawrs, it just wouldn't develop. Mianhe, it will come up soon. 

I'm sorry for this disappointment of a chapter but I'm still studying hard, and will write hard too.

One Love is such a great song. Everytime I hear it, I hear Hyukkie's rap and I want to cry. His voice is amazing and it's so filled with heartbreak, it makes me want to hug him and go "Don't worry, we love you~ Jewels and ELFs always."

Saranghaeyeo~

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UwsDyXBPakg