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Everything was over...

I shouldn't have trust anyone... My heart hurted even more than when my own father left... What was this... Yoseob was nothing to me, and I was nothing to him... It was only my fantasy, his feelings for me, was only a fantasy...

He texted me a lot. But I didn't read them... Maybe he was frustrated, he didn't know why I suddenly change... I just wanna have my time to think... And I couldn't concentrate on anything when I was next to him. That was why I sent him away...

And he could develope feelings for Minkyung... They were together lately... I closed my eyes and all I could imagine was the scene that Yoseob kissed Minkyung hungrily in the depository... It was like someone squeezed my heart... 'He is not yours Haewon! He never was, never is, and never will be yours!'

I cried... I didn't remember the last time I cried... It couldn't be, I didn't love him or anything. I must push this asides to concentrate on my study.

"Haewon ah, please. I must have done something wrong for you to be mad at me. Tell me what I did wrong... Don't be like this... I'm sorry..." - His voice was as genuine as usual... So he thought he was my friend, and he loved Minkyung, he didn't know why I suddenly sent him away like that. I got it. It just me who trying to think that he liked me... I always said I didn't need someone to care fo me, but this was the real thing, I was craving for someone to care for me, so when he showed some gestures, I fell for it. Stupid me to thing he liked me...

I didn't show much feelings in class. It was like I was back to my old days, a stone, without heart and soul. it would be better that way, who knows you could be hurted so much when you have a heart?

A week was about to end. I didn't say anything to Yoseob. I didn't even look at him. I refused to have any contact with him now, coz I was afraid I couldn't take it. The stress from the work at school was enough for me. I burried myself in assignments and homework in order not to think about him... But everynight, when I was about to sleep, his smile appeared in my mind... Everytime I saw that smile, I had to hold my chest tight coz it was like my heart could burst out anytime...

I tried to sleep but if I could sleep I would dream about Yoseob. I saw him, smiling at me, chasing after me in a beautiful flower meadow... Laughters fill the air, and he finally caught me... He embraced me from behind, I could feel my heart beating faster and my cheeks blushed from the contact...I held his arms, happy... Then he faded away... I could no longer feel his arms around me... Emptiness and lonliness captured me... I turned back but couldn't see him anywhere. I called his name, no answer... Suddenly I saw him standing far away from me, I ran towards him, still calling his name. He didn't turn back, as if he couldn't hear me. By the time I was closed enough to see he was kissing Minkyung on the field, I petrified and I could feel my heart breaking into pieces... After that I woke up, panting... It would soon turned into a sobbing as once again I felt the emptiness inside my chest...

School wasn't as interesting as it had been... I didn't want to go to school... But I had to. It was Friday, thank God... Just one more day... I grabbed my uniform and went to the bathroom.

Yoseob didn't come to school today. He never skipped school before. I didn't know I should feel relieve or what... He wasn't here, so I didn't have to avoid him... But what if something was wrong with him? I couldn't concentrate coz I was worrying about him... Should I ask him? But who was I to ask... I winced at the pain of the truth...

At the end of the class, when everyone were leaving, Mr Hong called me to his table as he had something to say.

"Haewon ah, do you know why Yoseob didn't come to school today?"

"Aniyo seonsengnim."

"I called but noone pick up the phone. Could you please go check if he was ok?"

"Why didn't you ask Minkyung, seonsengnim?"

"Minkyung only be his partner for a few days. You were his partner for nearly a year, so I think it would be better if I send you."

I didn't know what to do. I did feel worry and I wanted to know what happened, but...

"Please?" - He reached out and there was a small paper in his hand. It had Yoseob's phone number and address on. I hesitated but finally took the paper - "Thank you. Do let me know if there is something."

The teacher left... I was standing in class, holding the paper... Ok I would check him out, but just like a friend, nothing more. I hoped his parents were home, so I didn't have to face him...

I had to passed by my house anyway so I decided to went home first. I took a shower then changed to this and went out. It was Friday, uncle and aunt went on a picnic with their friends so they told me they wouldn't be back till Sunday. That meant I didn't have to worry about dinner, coz aunt wasn't good in cooking so I always had to help her in the kitchen. It was 6:00PM and it was getting dark... I managed to find the address and ring the bell. My heart beating strongly as I expected his mom or dad to take the door. But noone came. I rang again. Still nothing. Double checked the address to make sure I wasn't rang the wrong house, I didn't know what to do... I didn't come all the way here and leave, didn't know what was wrong with him. I hopelessly turned the door knob, but I was surprised that the door wasn't locked. I stepped inside and closed the door.

"Hello? Is anyone home? I'm Yoseob's friend!" - I said out loud. Noone answered me. It was all silent... Then suddenly Bokshiri bursted out from a room and barked frantically... He rubbed his head to my leg and ran away, as if he wanted me to follow him. When I got closer to that room, I could hear some softly groans came from inside... Bokshiri stopped in front of the door and looked at me. The door was slightly closed. I pushed it opened and came in...

"Hello?" - I said and opened the door. It was Yoseob's bedroom. I could see him lying on his mattress, he looked pale and unhealthy.

"Yoseob ah! Are you ok?" - I rushed inside and kneed next to him... He was barely conscious... I touched his forehead and it was hot, he was having a fever.

"Haewon..." - He weakly open his eyes and murmured - "You came..."

"Did you have any medicine?" - I was so worried that I forgot all the hard feelings I had earlier..

"Ani..." - He closed his eyes and breathed heavily, the sweat dotted on his forehead...

"Wait here I'll go buy you some mecidine." - I stood up but he grabbed my wrist and pulled me back, I lost my ballance and fell onto him.

"Don't go..." - He whispered, s his arms around me and held me closed to him - "I... miss... you..."

Why would you... My heart hurted again... Don't do this to me Yoseob ah... I couldn't take it... I managed to get out of his arms... He was so hot, everywhere I touched him, his arms, his chest, his neck and his breath were hot...

"You need treatments, kay?" - I reassured him. He closed his eyes and didn't say anything, still panting...

I quickly found a way to the bathroom , grabbed a handkerchief, wetted and squeezed it dry. I brought it back to his room and cleaned his face. He was sleeping... I wiped out his sweat, folded the handkerchief in half and put it on his forehead. His cheeks flushed because of the fever... He looked so weak... Maybe the weather changed and the stress from school were the one knocked him down like this... I grabbed my backpack and went out to buy some medicine for him, also dropped by a supermarket to buy something to cook for him, I guessed he didn't eat anything a whole day... I just focused on all of that, didn't dare to think anything... He was sick and I had to take care of him or he could possibly die there... His parents weren't here so he needed me... That's it, nothing more...

I came back and cooked some rice porridge... Bokshiri was hungry too, he kept wandering around me. I smiled and found some dog food for him. He loved it, he waved his tail and digged in. When the rice porridge was done, I took a bowl of it and put on a tray, along with a glass of water, then I went to Yoseob's bedroom.

"Yoseob, wake up and eat something." - I woke him up.

"I don't want to eat, mom!" - He didn't open his eyes and turned away, like a child. He thought I was his mom. It must be hard for him to manage to live alone like this...

"You didn't eat anything today." - I told him, grabbed another pillow and tucked it under his head so he wouldn't be choked by the food.

He winced a bit... I knew he was tired... When I was sick I just wanted to sleep. But I had to make him eat something so he could take the pills...

"Open your mouth..." - I scooped a spoonful of the rice porridge, blew to cooled it down and brought it to his mouth.

He was obedient and opened his mouth. As he was eating, he slowly opened his eyes... He looked at me and didn't say anything... I kept my head down and continued feeding him, trying as hard as I could to not look into his eyes. It was not that I didn't want to, but I was afraid to do so... Finally he finished, and I helped him get up to take the tablets. I handed him the pills and a glass of water. He took the pills, and wrapped the other hand around the glass, touching my fingers... I remembered the first time he held my hand... My heart began to throb inside my chest... His hand was warm and soft... But my mind quickly snapped back to reality... I carefully retreated my hand and I could heard him let out a sigh. He took the pills in and put the glass back on the tray. Still not looking at him, I collected everything to bring out and wash them.

As I came back, he was lying down again. His eyes closed and he was breathing evenly. I sat beside him. I couldn't leave him like this. He couldn't take care of himself... I started to trace his face with my eyes... I missed this little cute face so much... I didn't dare to look at him these days, I was afraid to see the caring in his eyes, when it was for someone else, not for me... Seeing him like this, made me hurt so bad... I closed my eyes and held in the sobbing... But I couldn't hold it for so long... I had to cover my mouth with my hand so the sobs wouldn't escape as I didn't want to wake him up... The feeling was overwhelming... Tears began to stream down my face... It was so much to bear... But I opened my eyes, to see him, maybe this was the only chance for me to see him in such a close distance...

I couldn't deny it anymore...

I love him... I love him so bad...

Now I know what it feels like when you love someone... Even if it hurts, I cannot stop thinking about him...

So let me be weak, just for now...

After today, I will be back as the stone... I will accept that he isn't for me...

I sat there beside him all night long, checking his temperature frequently... He was cooling down, not as hot as he had been when I came. I brought in a pots of water and used the handkerchief to wipe out his sweat on the face... As I came all the way to his neck, I paused a bit coz I could still see the hickey, it was healing, just a little yellowish and purplish left... I let out a sigh... How I wish I had done something when Minkyung took him away... Now I guess I can't do anything... He didn't sleep so soundly, he startled and kicked his blanket out a lot. I had to pulled the blanket up to cover his body, it was cold outside... I bended my knees and put my folded arms on them, then I rested my chin on my arms, looing at him... It was peaceful... I drifted back at the memories... This may be the only time I dared to do it since the day I knew his heart belonged to someone else... I didn't quite sure if it had belonged to me... I hoped it had been, so I wasn't the one who made up all the fantasy by myself... I remembered the school festival day, our "first date", he was like a prince that day... He sang beautifully, looking at me and smiled... My heart melted... And when he bounced around when he saw me after the concert, he must have thought that I had left... The way he walked beside me... I was so shy that I couldn't even look straight, I just kept looking at the store's signs... Then I could feel his hand touched mine... My heart was throbbing and I blushed so much... he finally held my hand, I was very happy, but I didn't have the strength to hold his back... I wasn't ready... And he may have understood it... Another memories when we were at the library... The surprise rose... I still kept that rose on my study desk at home... And smiled everytime I looked at it... The memories kept flooding me... His smiles, his eyes, his cuteness... Everything... The pain didn't bother me anymore... Even if I had to suffer from it, I would love to remember all those sweet memories with him... In his room I could only hear his breath and the ticking of the clock... How I wished this moment could last forever...

But I couldn't fight the time, begging it to stop... It was morning... As the first sunlight sneaked through the window to brighten up the room, I knew it was my time to go... I didn't know if I could handle the pain after this, but I had to. I check his temperature one last time, it was back to normal, I felt very relieve... Then I came out to reheat the rice porridge. Boshiri greeted me by waving his tail and snuggled to my leg. I could tell he loved his master so much, the way he wanted me to treat Yoseob as he knew Yoseob had something wrong, it was so touchy... The rice porridge was heated, I brought another bowl in his bedroom, put a glass of water and the tablets beside it. Then I wrote him a note, told him to eat and take the pills at the right time. Everything was done... I lool at the clock and it was 6:30AM... I had to leave... I sat next to him, for the last time, I leaned over, keeping my face a few inches from his...

'I will miss you so much...' - I smiled and placed a kiss on his forehead - 'Rest well Yoseob ah... I wish you happy with Minkyung...'

With that, I left...

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Another chappy~

Haewon knows that she loves Yoseob now, awwwww~

I did try to make this scene hot, but it came out emotional... Anyway, the next chapter will be like another version of this chap, but in Yoseob's POV (haven't written it down yet, just in my thought>"< But I think it wouldn't be as long as this chap, coz Yoseob was like half unconscious, his thoughts may not be straight and all over the place^^)

But there will be something more that just that in Yoseob's POV, anticipating^^

Comments and subscribe are love, and yeah, the story is coming to an end~ (Maybe in 2 or 3 more chaps)