Please… don’t let everything be a dream

Jessica slowly opens her eyes. She noticed a familiar desk, book shelf and curtains; she’s back in her room. She let out a sigh and slowly sits up, leaning her back on the headboard. She smiles sadly. Of course it was just a dream. Yuri didn’t came back, and everyone around her assured her that the tanned girl will never comeback.

Then why did the kiss feels real? Jessica shakes her head. It was a dream every dream feels real, Jessica. She reminded herself. She let out a sad chuckle when she caught herself doing what Yuri does best. “And I’m talking to myself”

Jessica slowly stood up and walked towards her bathroom. She made a promise to herself –and to Krystal –that she’s moving on, she will no longer be a prisoner of sadness and misery. She stopped in front of her sink and look at herself in the mirror. Her big bags greeted her. Yuri will not be happy with her being like this.

Kwon Yuri. Jessica bites her lower lip, no she will not cry. She has to be strong. But crying is not a sign of weakness right?

Jessica let her tears fall freely from her eyes. She did, however, held back in the sobbing by covering with her hand. She even open the faucet so that the sound of water splashing will cover her almost inaudible sniffs. Her shoulders moving up and down as she cries silently. There’s nothing wrong with shedding some more tears, right?

“Unnie?”

Jessica immediately bite her lower lip and tries hard to sound normal. “Soojung why?”

“Breakfast is ready, unnie. Mom said to wake you up”

“I’ll be out in a minute”

Jessica hear footsteps then her door opening then closing followed by fading footsteps. She let out a sigh and quickly wipes the tears from her eyes. She doesn’t want Krystal seeing her crying again, no, no one will ever see her crying again. So Jessica did what she normally did, wash her face; clear all evidence of her crying, brush her teeth, take a bath. It took her longer than usual inside the bathroom because she doesn’t want to meet her parents and Krystal with swollen eyes.

When Jessica is sure that the swelling of her eyes had decreased, she slowly makes her way to the kitchen. “Good morning”

Krystal force a smile as Jessica sat beside her. She looked at her parents who were equally stunned. After what happened to Yuri, never, not even once did Jessica greeted them, always telling them that there’s no good in the morning. After Jessica’s outburst no one dare to speak if Jessica’s around.

“Unnie…” Krystal hesitates, not knowing how to ask. “Are… are you going to the ceremony?”

Jessica furrows her brows. “What ceremony?”

Krystal looks at her mother for help.

Mrs. Jung let out a sigh. “Today’s the ceremony for Yuri, Jess. Did you forget?”

Jessica looked at the people around the table, studying their reaction or waiting for them to yell ‘gotcha’ but nothing. Everyone were looking at her seriously. Didn’t the ceremony for Yuri ended weeks ago? She mentally asks herself.

“I think I am” was Jessica’s response. She doesn’t want her parents and Krystal thinking that she had completely gone mental. The last thing she wants is her parents sending her to a mental institution. Maybe it was the sleeping pills she had been taking, maybe she had taken too many which caused her to have very vivid dreams.

///

“Today we commemorate the fall of one our beloved student during the unfortunate event 6months ago” the principal starts.

Jessica squirms in her seat. This looks exactly what happened in her dream. The principal was wearing the same thing and he started his speech with the exact same words.

“Jessi are you okay?” Tiffany worriedly asks when she saw Jessica squirming uncomfortably in her seat.

Jessica looked at Tiffany helplessly. She wanted to tell the truth but she doesn’t want Tiffany to think that she’s out of her mind. “I… I think this happened before”

“Oh you mean like Déjà vu?” Tiffany asks.

Not just a déjà vu. Like it really did happened last week. Jessica wanted to say but she end up saying. “Yea something like that” she doesn’t want Tiffany and Taeyeon thinking she’s gone insane.

Tiffany smiles. “Déjà vu is normal, Jessi”

Jessica slowly nods her head. Tiffany is right, you’re just having a bad case of déjà vu, Jessica! Get a grip! She made a mental note not to take anymore sleeping pills later.

Jessica found herself relaxing on her seat. But in her heart she knows something is about to happen, in her dream there was more. However she pushed it at the back of her mind, she doesn’t want to remember and she doesn’t want to think about it too much. So Jessica sits patiently and listens to what the principal is mumbling though it doesn’t mean she understands what he’s mumbling about. Just when he’s about to finish his words the door of the gymnasium sings open causing all students –including Jessica, Tiffany and Taeyeon –to turn to the door.

“Oh God!” Jessica quickly placed a hand over .

Yuri, clad in a loose white silk long sleeves and black pants, is standing by the door. Due to the light from outside plus the darkness in the gymnasium, it looked like Yuri is radiating –glowing. Jessica suddenly felt lightheaded. The last thing she saw was Yuri walking towards her then her sight turned black.

///

Yuri ran as fast as she can, as fast as her legs can go. She outstretched her arm as well, taking Krystal’s hand but she was centimeters short. The tip of their fingers touched but Krystal never got the chance to hold Yuri’s hand. And the tanned girl were already slipping further and further away from her. Yuri fell on the water, back first, with a loud splash. She quickly swims away when she saw debris falling in front of her. Yuri likes to swim and ocean is her best friend. She knows the ocean will never take her life and she doesn’t have plans on dying either. Not now, Jessica still has to know about her feelings. If it is unrequited then she’ll take her life but it’s not today.

The last part of the ship fell on the water disrupting the calm ocean. Due to the harsh waves, Yuri was thrown straight into the sharp rocks. She groans due to the pain. She touched the rock hoping to hold unto it for the mean time but the rock’s sharp ends scratched her hand. Yuri was still busy with her wounded hand that she didn’t saw a debris floating towards her way straight into her gut. Yuri coughs, it felt like someone had punched her stomach so hard her perfect abs can’t handle the impact. She struggles to swim up. She needs to swim up before water fills her lungs but it was a bad decision, the waves on the surface was harsher then the waves below surface.

The waves kept hitting her in the face causing all water to enter and nose. The final and the harshest waves hit her again causing her to fly straight into the rocks again, hitting her head on one of the rocks. And that was the last thing she remembered before blocking out.

///

Jessica stirred from her sleep and slowly opens her eyes.

“Hey~” Tiffany immediately came rushing to her side and held her hand. “How are you feeling?”

Taeyeon walks up beside Tiffany then Krystal. They immediately approached the bed while Jessica slowly rise up and leans her back against the railing. Krystal immediately rush to the other side to make sure her sister is comfortable.

“Thanks Soojung” Jessica smiles at her sister before turning her attention back to Tiffany. “A little dizzy. Where am I?”

“Infirmary” Taeyeon informs.

Jessica nods her head in understanding. “How long was I out?”

“Two hours” Krystal spoke while caressing her older sister’s hair.