CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE:Weekly Idol

He almost failed to press the right code of their dorm’s entrance. Still, he managed to unlock it getting welcomed by the soft sound of their TV. Lazily, the sneakers were taken off before he walked barefoot down the hallway. Instantly WooHyun was in sight, he was seating on the carpet, instead of the sofa, with a script on his hand and a mechanical pencil on the other; his gaze was focused on the screen where his drama was being displayed in a low volume. His eyes barely managed to stay open.

In other times it would be SungGyu the one sitting in there – watching an entertainment show or simply lost in his own thoughts – waiting for the last member to arrive at the dorms. Seeing WooHyun instead of the leader felt a bit different.

“Hyung, you could watch that later,” the words broke into the peaceful calmness.

“Ah? Oh, L-ah, you just got here?” WooHyun moved his head to the side where the younger member was standing. A short nod was given as a response. “How was it?”

“Tiring,” even though MyungSoo had make-up on, he still rubbed his itchy eyes. The feeling refreshed his tired self. “Is everyone here already?”

“Yeah, you’re the last one. Everyone’s asleep already,” WooHyun paused the recorded drama before turning to the hallway. Now he was paying full attention to L who was eyeing him carefully; after some moments the older singer caught the unspoken question. “I have recording tomorrow morning, and I can’t really get these last lines correctly. I repeat them and repeat them but they just don’t connect.”

MyungSoo stared at him before he commented. “If you keep on reviewing them you’ll only get really stressed, Hyung.”

The clumsy smile WooHyun had turned slowly into an almost inexistent one.

“Did you stop vomiting?”

WooHyun chuckled sourly at the bluntness. L was better than him when it came to say ugly truths in a flat way. “I get nauseous, but I’m able to handle it now.”

“You should go check before something goes actually wrong,” the younger leaned on the wall before getting a snort from WooHyun. 

“I’m not the only one sick in here, you know?” 

“Right,” L moved his deep gaze to the window where Seoul’s luminous night could be seen. “How’s Hyung?”

For a moment WooHyun thought the handsome male was talking about Hoya – he had seen him almost faint at the dance studio some days ago – but then he remembered the events of their long Monday.

That morning had been completely different from what everyone expected. At eight sharp, the seven called members had been already inside the CEO’s office waiting to get their attention called. Everyone thought it was a stupid rule but it had always been applied to all the idol groups, whatever label they belonged. What one did affected the other and vice versa. But it was always the leader the one that received it worst – being that person the one in charge of the group – so SungGyu ended up listening to some words that even made DongWoo cringe. Yet it all changed the moment JungYeop asked Infinite’s leader to answer him. A notorious soar sound came from SungGyu’s mouth.

That morning Infinite’s leader had woken up with an aching throat and coughs.

Some of the members thought their leader hadn’t gotten better and that after all his shouting it got worse, or that the sickness actually never left. In all, the sound was disturbing and the continuous coughs made it a worrisome problem.

What was going to be a harsh conversation between idol group and director ended up with SungGyu being interrogated about his sickness. How come he ended so sick? Was he taking his vitamins? Did he expose to the AC even though he knew it really affected him? Did he go to the doctor like the CEO asked?

There had been no time for rambling. The initial anger had lowered, so quick firm words and few orders were given before the younger members were called to leaver for their schedules. SungGyu was the only one left behind to talk with their CEO about his health and a solution for it.

“How else could he be, MyungSoo? He’s completely ill and still he dared to keep on with the promotions,” WooHyun rolled his eyes at their leader’s stubbornness.

“I thought he was going to give in and go to the doctor.”

“No, seems he ended up convincing the director that it wasn’t as bad as it sounded so he’s gonna go tomorrow morning before you go recording Weekly Idol.”

An eyebrow was raised.   “Didn’t you try to talk with him?”

“How am I supposed to do that, huh? He’s mad at me—at all of us,” WooHyun threw his script to the coffee table before scrunching his nose. “I tried to knock some sense into his head but he just won’t listen.”

“Well, that’s pretty understandable.”

“What?” WooHyun frowned. “One thing is being mad at me and another, completely different, is his health. Why must he keep that attitude? It’s just idiotic to be mad and sick and act on his own—”

Look who’s talking, those words were never said.

“—You saw how JungYeop-nim stopped scolding us when he noticed SungGyu’s situation. I mean, even our director has his priorities fixed, but Hyung?”

“That’s because JungYeop-hyung’s trying to work things out with his products, unlike Gyu-hyung.”

WooHyun didn’t like the cold way L described idols.

“We are SungGyu’s group mates.”

“We mean more than that to each other, and you know that,” MyungSoo pressed the bridge of his nose with his index and thumb. Sometimes WooHyun’s way of thinking was frustrating. Even for him.

“Yes, and that’s the reason why he should stop being a and start listening to me.”

As those words were said L opened his eyes in surprise. His strong stare met the serious one of the older singer.

“Don’t you notice what you did?” It was almost a whisper.

“What we did, let me correct you.”

L squinted his eyes. “He trusted you.”

“Us.”

“You of all, Hyung.”

After the fight in Inkigayo there had been no time for the members to talk things out. They just had few moments together but none of them had seriously tried to actually communicate with the others. Not even SungGyu.

It didn’t help the fact that Speechless promotions were programmed in small groups. If it wasn’t a performance or a really important interview, the young males were divided in small units or solos according to what was needed. This was all for the purpose of not letting people notice SungYeol wasn’t in the promotions. Lee JungYeop had planned it all along.

They had to promote, but if they did it like usual, things weren’t going to work for Woollim. Having the Infinite members divided killed two birds in a row. They promoted more that they used to before and SungYeol’s absence was less notable in the media. Being a photo shoot, a CF or an entertainment program, the young males had been divided. That was the main reason why MyungSoo ended up being the last one to reach the dorms that Monday. He, unlike the others, got three more schedules planned that included a clothes’ CF.

“So you got a double shot? That was pretty aggressive coming from Dr. Kang,” Geonam teased with a soft voice as he stopped on a red light.

“I would take another round if that makes me get better faster,” SungGyu’s murmur came deeper thanks to the raspiness of his voice. His hand was pressing the cotton on the left arm where his vein had been abused.

Just like they had accorded, SungGyu went to the doctor that Tuesday morning to get a check up. From head to toe, the usual analyses were done. It was true that Infinite’s leader had a weak body and that was the reason why Woollim took caution with the idol’s health. Having him seriously hurt could affect them, and the label couldn’t allow that. Not with their best idol group. Not with Kim SungGyu.

Knowing he had been sick for several weeks didn’t sound right. And the fact that the medicine he had been taking didn’t help much made it worse.

“Doctor said that it could be that you just caught a cold but with all your work you can’t get better. When the test results come we’ll see what’s actually going on, so don’t worry too much, it might be just like Dr. Kang said,” Geonam suggested.

SungGyu sighed before turning to the window. A familiar glass building was right in front of him. “My colds don’t usually last this long.”

“Could it be because of all the stress you’re carrying?” Geonam said as he turned off the engine. There was a short pause; just the soft sound of the radio invaded the big SUV. “I don’t want to press too much on it, but I noticed how you haven’t fixed things with the guys.”

The frown on SungGyu's forehead didn’t go unnoticed.

“Would you be able to fix things if they had done something like that to you?”

“No,” Geonam said sincerely before his hand reached for the younger male’s shoulder. The touch felt cold. “But I know you can.”

Those words meant more than what Geonam thought. They had been strong and painful, just like the uncomfortable sensation that had conquered the pitch of SungGyu’s stomach. Why he? Why couldn’t he act like Geonam or anyone else? Why he had to be the mature responsible one? He was just a twenty seven year old man that never found the time to act like he wanted. Selfishly, true to his feelings. 

Although all those questions were inside of his mind, the young male didn’t answer. He just opened the SUV’s door to reach the set where he knew the others had started to record Weekly Idol.

Just like in Inkigayo, the moment SungGyu reached the set his serious expression turned into the playful one that he used to show in the program. His abilities in variety programs had improved significantly as the years passed. Even if SungGyu was mad and didn’t feel right, the young man still managed to receive well the MC’s playful words. Their teasing and remarks had always been strong – especially to him – and they didn’t miss the chance to say he was a wanna-be Bang YongGuk with his raspy voice. Defconn even dared to with his little slip-up on their comeback. That instantly brought an awkward atmosphere but SungGyu just smiled saying he was too overwhelmed with everyone’s support.

“I think practicing the choreography was tougher this time,” L commented as he pushed himself forward on the chair so he could see the MC’s faces. Hoya and SungJong gave some similar comments, although theirs were loud.

“Yah, yah, don’t complain too much,” HyungDong pushed Hoya’s shoulder making him almost fall from the chair if it wasn’t for DongWoo’s help. 

“It’s a lot more difficult to sing the song because of the dance steps. That’s a fact,” SungGyu extended his arm to emphasize his words since he didn't want to force his vocal cords.

“You are the last person that can talk about dance steps!” Defconn raised his voice in an exaggerated way getting laughs from the younger members. None of them were completely sincere. Not when they all noticed the sudden stiffness in their leader’s face.

“It is hard,” SungGyu stated before noticing how SungJong was staring at his left arm. The marks from the shots he had received could be seen perfectly thanks to his short sleeved t-shirt.

Quickly SungGyu raised his hand to scratch his skin close to the marks, covering them from SungJong’s view. Their eyes met for a second before the loud laugh from DongWoo brought them back to the recording.

“We’ll now proceed to the next corner!”

Although they didn’t have a good relationship at the moment Hoya and L managed to tease their leader. DongWoo didn’t interact much with him and SungJong, he simply tagged along, trying not to laugh as hard as he used to. 

Even with that, SungGyu perceived during the recording the curious gazes from the younger members, he supposed they were wondering about his health condition still he said nothing. There was no time to talk about it and he wasn’t really willing to share it with them. Did they really care about him? Maybe he was thinking in an immature way, but he couldn’t help himself to stop thinking that way.

As soon as they PD cut the recording to prepare the set for the next segment both MC’s went to ask SungGyu about his health, even if they had been playing around they still got worried about his voice. The young male softly smiled at them before saying a few times that it was just some soreness in his throat and nothing to worry about. Apart from HoWon, none of the members of Infinite asked their leader about his health, they just kept looking at him as if he was someone unreachable at the moment. At least no one else tried to talk to him until they stopped recording to prepare for the last segment.  

“Hyung,”

It was the first time after the incident in Inkigayo that SungJong directed his words to SungGyu. His voice was soft and careful, as if he didn’t want anyone else but his leader to listen. Yet the male didn't take the call in a good way. SungGyu wasn’t that relaxed to have a casual conversation with the maknae. Not when he was mad at him, because one thing was acting in front of cameras and other one was their personal life.

“Don’t slack off and stop that hurting look on your face,” SungGyu decided to cut their communication that way but a cough got in the middle of his words.

As an instinct, SungJong patted the older male’s back but he was stopped by SungGyu’s firm hand.

“Hyung, are you really—?“

SungJong didn’t finish his question. He just stopped before sighing calling SungGyu's attention. The younger male seemed pretty disgruntled, as if he was trying to fix his ideas. His confused eyes suddenly went up to meet their leader’s, startling him completely. 

“I really forgot the lyrics, Hyung.”

The phrase was released in such a secure voice. SungJong’s eyes didn’t waver as they kept looking firmly into SungGyu’s and it was then that SungGyu noticed how blind he had been. At that time, in the waiting room, he hadn’t seen or listened correctly. He had just reacted.

The sense of guilt poked his insides. A bit of confusion and a tad of regret crossed by his mind yet he wasn’t able to produce a word. Not even a sound. Just a small smile dared to appear in slow motion from SungGyu’s lips and that was all SungJong needed to know his words had actually reached his leader's mind. And SungJong knew right then how his leader actually felt.

“It’s okay, Hyung.”

Nothing else was said as the filming to conclude Weekly Idol started once again.