The perks of flying to Taiwan at -o’clock, Lay realized, is that the waiting area is usually empty, for the most part. They arrived an hour before their 4 a.m. take-off and he quickly claimed a row to himself, sighing in content as he stretched out his limbs and closed his eyes.

“You look undignified,” he heard Kris say but he merely his side and snuggled deeper into the cushions. “And you’re taking up three entire seats.”

“Go find your own seats," Lay grumbled. Kris remained silent but Lay could feel the weight of his gaze so he blinked open his eyes, squinting against the fluorescent lights above. “What do you want?”

“I’ve been doing a bit of reading lately,” Kris began, voice so casual that Lay’s inner Duizhang Danger Meter let out a warning beep.

“Cool, about what?” he asked, hoping he sounded just as casual.

“Oh you know, architectural news and articles and stuff.” Kris waved a hand airily. “Sehun tells me you run an architecture blog.”

The little . Unlike Tao, Sehun wasn’t the type to blab about anything and everything, which meant the kid knew exactly what he was doing when he told Kris about Lay's hobbies.

Lay struggled to keep his expression neutral and avoided looking Kris right in the eye – the man could probably stare a charging bull into submission if he put his heart to it. “It’s not a big deal, just pictures mostly.”

Kris continued, relentless. “What type of architecture do you blog about? Baroque? Gothic?”

“Uh.” He was a little thrown off by the depth of Kris’s inquisition and tried really hard to ignore how the word ‘baroque’ made him think Bach and wigs and depressing church chorales. His mind scrambled for any tidbit of knowledge he possessed to help him bull his way out of this mess. “I, uh, do mostly modern. With lots of glass and stuff.”

It sounded like a passable answer and he was almost about to congratulate himself when he saw Kris’s eyes narrow a fraction, like he did whenever Tao made up an extravagant lie about why he was late to practice.

Thankfully, Kris was called away to distribute their boarding passes and Lay released the breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. He lay back down on the seats and took deep breaths until his heartbeat slowed to its regular pace. But the worry was still there, so he made a mental note to set up a decoy blog and brush up on his architecture in the event Kris asks him again.

*****

“Hey Lay, can you grab me a bottle of water,” Luhan called out from the stage. He and D.O. were doing some extra practice for their collaboration stage while Lay idled in the orchestra pit, struggling to differentiate between modernism and post-modernism – an impossible task because both styles were equal degrees of ugly to his untrained eye.

“Would you mind getting me some coffee too?” D.O. asked a little breathlessly as he mopped his face with the hem of his sweat-dampened t-shirt.

Lay climbed to his feet and flashed a thumbs up in acknowledgement. Normally, he would have told Luhan to get his own stuff, but D.O. looked exhausted, his wide eyes underscored by dark circles, and Lay knew he would be a horrible person if he refused. Rumor was that Kai had been keeping D.O. up over the past little while with his angry sleep talking, so Lay told himself it was his duty as a good friend to take the long, long trek backstage where the canned coffee was stocked.

The door was closed when he arrived, but not locked, so Lay twisted the doorknob – and froze.

Sulli had her back against the fridge and was making out – quite passionately, Lay noted – with a boy who looked like Kai, except he was slightly shorter, slightly paler, with chestnut brown hair instead of black.

“Taemin...?”

The pair sprung apart as if electrocuted and turned to him with identical expressions of shock, which quickly turned to a mixture of guilt and embarrassment. Sulli was blushing furiously, apple cheeks tinged with pink and the tips of Taemin’s ears were a flaming red.

“Um, do you, um need anything?” Taemin stuttered, taking another step away from Sulli, though it was obvious he was loathe to do so.

Lay couldn’t even begin to process what he had just seen, so he followed Taemin’s lead and pretended nothing had happened.

“Just grabbing some drinks,” he replied. Sulli jumped aside to give him access to the fridge and the silence became awkward as he rummaged for the right bottles.

The awkwardness only escalated when he straightened and caught sight of Taemin’s fingers brushing the inside of Sulli’s wrist and it just seemed so intimate that Lay had to look away.

“I guess I’ll see you guys around,” he muttered, quickly making his way to the door.

Taemin nodded as he walked past and there was something in his eyes, something that looked like please don’t tell anyone, and Lay didn’t know whether to acknowledge it or pretend to ignore it. So he settled for a half-hearted wave and nearly tripped in his haste to get out.

*****

The concert was a success but Lay couldn’t shake off what he had seen backstage the night before. During the performance, Taemin and Sulli had given no indication of their feelings for each other. Lay’s confusion only grew as the pair pulled Kai into a group hug during the final chorus of ‘Dear My Family’, laughing and smiling freely as they had at all the previous concerts.

He knew it was none of his business, and he normally would have been content with learning a new secret, but this was quickly becoming a secret too large for him to handle and the whole damn thing just felt – wrong.

It was how he found himself slipping out of the room and walking towards the elevators at a quarter past midnight. And as luck would have it, Kai was already there.

“Can’t sleep either?” Kai said ruefully as he punched the button for the ground floor. Lay nodded, stuffing both hands in his pockets.

Neither of them said a word, but as soon as the elevator doors opened, they headed out of the hotel in search for frozen desserts to sooth their insomnia.

Taiwan was famous for its night market and there happened to be one a block away from the hotel. Despite the late hour, the streets were still crowded and noisy, illuminated by the orange glow of paper lanterns. Kai trailed behind him as he led them to a stall and he quickly ordered the famous mango smoothie for the both of them.

“So, how are things going with you and your…friend?” Lay finally found the courage to ask.

“Which friend are we talking about? I do have more than one, you know,” Kai replied with a touch of sarcasm in his voice.

“Your, uh, female friend.”

Kai narrowed his eyes. “You haven’t told anyone, have you? That I have one?”

“No, no! I’m just worried about you.”

Shrugging, Kai took another sip of his drink. “She finally decided to start talking to me again last night. We agreed to take things slow for now - she can do her thing and I can do mine and we’ll see what happens.”

“That sounds like…progress.” It did sound like things were better than their last elevator encounter, but for some reason, Lay could still feel the weight of the secret pressing down on him and he just couldn’t stand it anymore.

“Just to clarify," he mumbled. "When you said ‘she can do her thing’, did you mean you’re okay with the idea of an…open relationship?”

Kai stopped in his tracks and spun to pin him with a piercing stare. “Is there something you’re not telling me?”

It was too late to back out now. “Um, maybe?” Lay answered weakly.

“What is it.”

Lay took a steadying breath before speaking. “It happened after rehearsals yesterday when I was about to grab some drinks from the kitchen. I kind of…walked in on Taemin and Sulli kissing – more like mauling each other’s faces, actually –and I know they’re your friends and everything but what they did was pretty awful and I’ll totally back you up if you feel like punching Taemin in the face-“

He broke off when Kai doubled over, clutching at his stomach as his entire body began shaking with–laughter?

“You want me to punch Taemin in the face for making out with his own girlfriend?” Kai said finally when his laughter subsided.

“Wait, I thought she was your girlfriend?” Lay replied, his words sounding more like a question.

“Of course not. What the hell gave you that idea?”

Lay paused. All he had learned from Sehun was that the girlfriend’s name had started with ‘s’ and he himself had deduced the rest. “The two of you attended the same high school?”

“Oh right, we did,” Kai said lightly. “She wasn’t in class all that often though, especially after debuting. We only started talking after she hooked up with Taemin.”

“Okay, that's cool. But then who are you dating?”

Kai glanced quickly over both shoulders, as if afraid SM’s entire PR department is going to swoop in and fire him for violating his contract. “Krystal, though we usually call her Soojung. She always hung out with Sulli and Taemin and I guess the two of us had a lot in common and we just kind of clicked.”

There’s something like fondness in Kai’s expression when he spoke of her, a touch of softness to his eyes, an upward curve of his lips, and Lay was reminded a little of the way Taemin had looked at Sulli.

“Wow. That’s, uh, a lot to take in,” Lay said finally once the surprise had worn off a little.

“Guess that means you shouldn’t jump to such ridiculous conclusions in the future, huh?” Kai chirped with a teasing smile.

Lay rolled his eyes but grinned back. 

Right and Wrong

| Posted on June 10, 2012  | 10:47 pm |

I have come to the realization I may not actually be as smart as I believe myself to be. It appears that I’ve been wrong all along about K and SL, and I have neglected to follow every step of the deduction process in my haste to come to a conclusion. To be perfectly honest, I have made a fool of myself by imagining a drama full of lies and infidelity and shattered friendships, when the reality is but a case of mistaken identities. I’m lucky that K is a nice enough not to remind me about my failure every other second.

I shall speak no more of this matter, partly due to shame, but mostly due to the realization that there are certain secrets that are not meant for me to tell, even to strangers on the Internet. There are people whose happiness depends on secrecy and though I may not be the most exemplary of human beings, I still have some decency left within me. 

Tags: lips are sealed

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author's note

Hello! Maunier here. As always, apologies for the wait and a big thank you to those of you who have stuck around. ;A; Life and a lack of inspiration have kept me from writing – juggling six courses has been hard tbh and the Kris fiasco made fandom a cesspool of hate and negativity that has kept me far, far away (because going through one SM lawsuit is enough to last a lifetime, tyvm).

It’s why I’ve decided to jump this sinking ship and develop interests in subjects I can actually talk to people about in public! :D What started out as compulsory Canadian pride at the Winter Olympics turned into a genuine fascination for figure skating (because sport-art hybrids are thrilling to watch) and a hockey relapse (because clearly, I’ve forgotten the emotional trauma of Vancouver’s 2011 Stanley Cup Final run) and now I’ve moved on to my biennial obsession with soccer/football (because I’ve waited six years for Germany to win a Cup, goddammit).

Anyway, the point is, if any of you want a break from the storm in the EXO fandom, I would be happy to introduce you to the wonderful world of sports fandoms. :DD Hockey has been my latest obsession and although it’s a bit of a jump from kpop idols to hockey players, I promise the fandom experience is extremely rewarding! Even if you don’t care much for the sport itself, the quality of the fics that fandom produces is worth it. Also, the fact that there are 30 NHL means that there’s an enormous pool of attractive people from which to choose a bias. If you’re interested in exploring this fandom, feel free to hit me up on Tumblr or browse through the hilarious and fantastic primers collected here to get started!

Thank you as always for the support and hopefully I'll get an update in before finals roll around! :)

Cheers,

Maunier