MY CELEBRITY ROOMMATE - fanfic by huntress
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Dara tried to grabbed Tam Tam from the hands of the stranger but he raised his arms. She jumped and jumped but she still couldn't reach it.

Dara: Give Tam Tamie backkk!!!! 

She was so frustrated and pissed so she tried to charge at him but he stopped her by placing his palm on Dara's forehead and effortlessly pushed her. Dara looks like a child as the guy's hand is still pushing her head away from him while she was flailing her arms in a useless attempt to get Tam Tam back.

Dara took a few steps backward. With her hair all over her face, she definitely looks like a lunatic. She then ran at full speed to jump towards him but the stranger smugly closed the door on her face the exact moment she was already airborne. Dara's whole body hit the door like a fly swatted by a newspaper. 


She now resembles a flat, paper-thin cartoon character as she was pulled back by gravity to the ground. Dara quickly stood up, gathered her things and ran back to Jiyong's apartment while screaming his name.


She was screaming GD's name from Building 21 until she reached Building 22. She opened the apartment and found GD standing by the door with arms crossed over his chest and looking mad as hell! Uh-oh....

Dara: <*gulp>

GD: Dara-ahjumma..<~eerie calmness~ ~>

Dara: Yes, your highness

GD: You almost announced where I'm living to half the population in the city by shouting my name while running around...

Dara: Sorry, your honor <*scared>


Dara was almost blown away by the fierceness of GD's scream. Her eyes wide with shock, she nodded her head numerous times to let GD know she would never do it again. 

GD: Good. Now, will you keep quiet. I'm having a migraine because of you.

Dara: <*nod nod nod>

But Dara wanted to tell GD about Tam Tam and she also wanted to beg once again for him to come to her school tomorrow. So as he was about to walk towards the kitchen, Dara shouted:

Dara: Permission to speak, sirrr!! <*with hand salute>

GD: <*rolls eyes and continued walking towards the kitchen> Permission denied.

Dara: But..Tam Tamieee...and guidance office...

GD: <*furiously faced Dara> PERMISSION DENIEEEDDD!!!!!!



My name is Kwon Jiyong. I'm 21 years old turning 23. Yes, I skipped 2 years. Living with Dara-ahjumma makes me feel like I'm losing a few years of my life. It's only our second night together but I felt like I'm aging one year every day.

I asked her to sit quietly at the couch and watch TV. Thankfully, she complied. Would you believe she doesn't have TV in her former apartment?? No wonder she's so ignorant of the current trends.

I was busy preparing our dinner since what she prepared will surely upset our stomachs. After a few minutes, Dara stopped watching TV and kept on following me around the kitchen. GAHD, please stop me from killing her! This girl is really getting on my nerves! I just kept on ignoring her. I knew she's just going to pester me again about going to her guidance counselor. 

Whenever I turn around, she's always standing a few steps away with pleading eyes. She's tailing me like a chick afraid to lose sight of mother hen. I zigzagged my way to the ref and she did the same. Oh my effing goodness!!!!!!! Needless to say, we look like idiots..

"Will you stop following me around!", I yelled. She did what I said. She stood there like a statue, but is now following me with her gaze like a Swiss Guard! ARGGGHH!!!

Finally, it's time to eat dinner. As soon as I gave her permission to speak, she blabbered endlessly about the guy living on her former apartment and how she hates him because he kidnapped Tam Tam. <*sigh> I think the word silence is not in her vocabulary. Anyone who'll look at her will think that she is extremely quiet. Well, looks can be extremely deceiving. <*sigh>

"I think he is WEIRDER than me!!", she said. 

"So there are two of you weirdos in this country? Gosh, is it the end of the world?", I asked sarcastically. Seriously, can you imagine two Dara-ahjummas roaming around the streets?? Foreign investors might pack their bags and run back to their homeland if there is another walking disaster like her. dry.gif 

She continued talking, it went on and on and on while shoving the food to her unstoppable mouth. She can cover three different conversational topics in a span of two minutes. It was probably the longest dinner of my life. But she never forgets to insert her plea of having me come to her guidance office. I'm telling you, there is NO WAY that is going to happen. How thick-skinned can she get? I provided roof over her head, I gave her food and she still wants to drag me to meet her guidance counselor to save her as$? No way!

At last it was time to sleep. She went inside the room and I followed her since my working table and all my materials to write a song are inside my room. I went straight to my work desk while she was frozen on her spot, unable to move. She was weirdly looking at me. Seriously, what is up with her? She looks like someone who's having ed thoughts right now. 

I just proceeded working. I still have to write some songs but how can I finish anything if this ahjumma is hovering behind me!!! ARGGHHH!! Okay, relax GD. Just ignore her. 

Ignoring her seems to be a brilliant plan until she started poking me to grab my attention!! 

*poke poke poke

I knew I should've brought the kitchen knife with me! I shall slash all her fingers apart!! I turned to her with a heavy death glare. This better be good coz I am really going to inflict her with unimaginable pain and suffering if she shows me her kung fu moves again to protect her so-called BODY. I am NOT kidding!!

"Yeszz???", I angrily asked. 

"You're not planning to do anything stupid are you? Coz...", her sentence got cut off and was replaced by her horrified screams when I ran to her furiously. I grabbed her by the waist and hurled her to the bed.

"SHUT UP AND SLEEP!! I'm trying to work and I haven't finished anything because of you!! And I don't plan to do anything 'stupid', duhhh!!", I shouted.

She flinched but she still managed to bring up the guidance office issue again and said, "I know you're a busy person and I know I'm really asking for too much, but please please come to our school tomorrow. I really want to graduate. I don't want to disappoint my family." She then quickly covered herself with the blanket. 

I let out a deep sigh and tore the pages in my notebook in irritation. I haven't finished a single song! Teddy hyung is already asking for the lyrics so he could do the music arrangements.. But here I am acting like a guardian to this lost little kid in an ahjumma body.

After a few hours of racking my brain, I still can't come up with the right song. My mood was already ruined. It's time to hit the sheets, I'm so exhausted because of her! I went to the bed. I decided not to sleep on the couch because I don't want to have a stiff neck again. She was already sleeping and I figured she wouldn't mind if I sleep beside her because this is MY bed anyway. And may I just add I don't have any bad intentions towards her. Puh-leaze, give me a break. Even if you make me drink a gallon of soju, she would still be an ahjumma to me.

I was settling myself comfortably at the bed when her eyes suddenly snapped open and stared at me in shock. Her vocal chords did some work again as she screamed her lungs out. Then....she kicked me so hard I ended up flying to the far corner of the room!!!!! Has it been established that I hate her? Good. Coz I REALLY HATE HERRRRRR!!!!!!!!



OH EHMM GEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!! I looked at the almost lifeless body of Kwon Jiyong sprawled on the floor. I was absolutely mortified!! It was pure instinct when I kicked him out of the bed, I was shocked when I saw him beside me. 4l0rvk.png 

Oh crap oh crap oh crap!!! I was running around his body while saying 'Oh crap!' countless of times while my hands are clasped together. I don't know what to do! He then sprung up and looked at me with his murderous gaze. I thought he is going to punch me in the face!

"I'm sorry!!", was all I managed to say. I think he is trying to calm himself coz he is sighing heavily. I'm so glad there are no pointed objects here that he can use to poke my eyes out. Gyahhh!!! I'M SORRY!!!

"What the hell were you thinking??!!! You really think I will do something stupid???!", he screamed. It's actually a good sign that he is still shouting at me, that means he's back at his normal self.

"I'm sorry! I was just shocked to see you beside me!", I said.

He then went to the closet and pulled out a pile of pillows and placed it on the middle of the bed. 

"There, happy? Now can we sleep? I'm dead tired.", he said. Then he laid on the bed.

I went to my side of the bed. Eventhough there's a pile of pillows on the middle, I still can see him. His back is facing me. When he moved to shift position (he is now facing me), I instantly turned my back at him. GOSSHH!!! will I be able to sleep tonight??? I can hear his slow breathing. He is so near me!! I was even trying to control my breathing to let him think that I'm not affected by his presence and that I'm already sleeping. I inhale for a brief moment, then I hold my breath and exhale slowly. I sure hope I'm acting the 'sleep-breathing' right. 

How can anyone have a pure mind with this kind of situation????!!! Weird thoughts are running through my head right now, and anyone with weak heart should NOT take a peek at my current mind coz my brain is turning all y by itself!! Omona, someone please help me!!! Hu hu hu hu!! I need to go to church tomorrow and wash my dirty brain with a tank of holy water!

My back is still facing him. I was so stiff. I think this is how they sleep at the military. Out of nowhere, Kwon Jiyong flicked my stiff back with his finger.

"KYAHHHHHH!!!", I screamed crazily as I jolted forward, which made me fall out of bed. I rolled on the floor to look for refuge while still screaming. I knew it!! Boys will be boys especially when in heat!!!!!! Please NOOO, Kwon Jiyong! I'm but a weak soul in front of a gorgeous body! 4l0rvk.png 

"Will you relax? You were holding your breath for a couple of seconds already.", he said with his y bedroom voice. I think I just died and went to heaven when he looked at me with sleepy eyes. He figured out that I was faking my sleep and forgot to exhale. Damn! Can this be any more humiliating??

He went back to sleep while I was still in a daze. I climbed back to bed and tried to get some sleep. I counted sheeps, dogs, cats, cows, etc. The animal kingdom already ran out of animals for me to count but I'm still wide awake. HELP! sad.gif 



I woke up with a painful , all thanks to that Dara-ahjumma. Who would've thought her leg power is at par with that of a horse? After a couple of minutes of bickering, I was able to sleep last night when I barricaded her with tons of pillow placed on the middle of the bed.

She already left when I woke up. Did she even sleep? She was constantly tossing in bed last night. She might be thinking of what excuse to give her guidance counselor. Well she better come up with a good one coz I'm definitely NOT going there to save her even after her dramatic plea last night, duh.

I was about to fix my breakfast when I noticed a pile of papers on my desk. They were already crumpled and I recognized my handwriting on the top paper. I looked at the papers closely and recognized that they are the lyrics that I was writing last night but my mind went blank so I just tore them out of my notebook. There were pink post-its at each paper with some comments and suggestions from Dara-ahjumma. I sat on the chair while browsing each one of them. For some bizarre reason, her viewpoints actually makes sense. Or has my head deteriorated from too much exposure of her weirdness?

I grabbed my pen and started rewriting the whole thing on my notebook. I was done in a few minutes and I managed to write not just one song. I smiled as I reviewed the outcome. I'm pretty satisfied and I hurriedly prepared myself to go to the studio to show the new songs to Teddy hyung.

We were able to finish the recording earlier while the other Big Bang members are hanging out lazily by the couch outside of the recording room. I joined them after a while. I was about to place my notebook on my bag when I saw the pink post-it at the back. 

"I will wait for you at the main gate the school. The guidance counselor expects me to see him at 5PM. I'm begging you please come. Even if you kick me out of the apartment today, it's okay. I can survive living on the streets than disappointing my Omma." That's what's written on Dara's note. This girl just won't give up!! GRRR!!! Let me just repeat myself by saying that there's NO way that I'm going there!!

"Yah, Jiyong. Wanna go to the bar tonight? It's been a while since all of us went out," TOP hyung said. I agreed. I badly needed to unwind, Dara-ahjumma is the life out of me.

We went out to eat at a Chinese restaurant. Annoyingly, everything around me seems to remind me of Dara-ahjumma's situation. We passed by two mothers who are chatting happily coz their daughters are about to graduate next year. There was a huge sign at the mall that says 'Help thy neighbor'. There was a photo studio that's giving discounts for graduation picture package. And even my fortune cookie says 'Extend your hands to someone in need'. JEEZZZ!!! Have I not extended my hands enough to help her?!! Why is the world ganging up on me?! This is unfair!!! 

"UNFAIR!!!!". I didn't realize I've shouted my thoughts out. The Big Bang members are looking at me weirdly while Seungri stayed at a safe distance in fear that I might strangle him again while I'm lost in my own bubble world.

"Are you okay? Seriously, you've been acting weird lately", Young Bae asked. 

Young Bae!! Why didn't Dara-ahjumma knocked on Young Bae's apartment instead? He is more mature and more patient than me! Damn it! Why must it be me Me meee??!! Life should have a suggestion box where you can transfer your fate to another person!!! I'm sure Young Bae wouldn't mind..<*sigh> Life kkkksss!!!!! 

"Uhmm, I just remembered something," I said.

"Okayyy. You remembered something then you started shouting. That's...freaky," TOP hyung said in his monotone voice then evilly smiled at me. Does he have a villain role in an upcoming drama? Is he internalizing his role at my expense? Well, I sure hope he will be killed at that drama in a very gruesome way!! Damn this man! dry.gif 

It was already past 5 when I arrived at her school. Yes, I decided to go after dilly-dallying. I figured that maybe, I will be able to pull this out by just covering my face the whole time. I'll just pretend that I'm sick or something that's why I have to cover my nose and mouth with mask. 

She was not at the main entrance when I arrived, probably because it's already late. I was staring at the ground while walking the whole time, afraid that somebody might recognize me eventhough my face is pretty much covered. Luckily, the students are not paying attention at me. It's actually fun to hear the conversations of the students. I heard our group name 'Big Bang' a couple of times. And I even saw some posters of my face on student lockers kekekekekeke. happy.gif 

I found the building directory and was trying to figure out how to get to the Guidance Office. Fortunately, it was near to where I was. On my way there, I overheard a couple of students talking about Dara-ahjumma. My jaw almost dropped to the ground when I heard my name being mentioned.

"Dara-ahjumma is really in deep sh!t! She's at the guidance office right now! Hahahahaha!!", one of the students said.

"Her problems are increasing exponentially! It's so fun to torture her! Hahahahaha! Not to mention our bet with her to bring Kwon Jiyong to our University Ball or else, she has to kiss a guy in front of the whole students!!", the other student excitedly said.

Say what??!!! Bring Kwon Jiyong to the University Ball???? What the fck is going on here??!!! blink.gif 

I marched towards the Guidance Office and opened the door. Relief was written all over Dara-ahjumma's face when she saw me. Before entering, I made hand motions to tell her that SHE IS SO DEAD after this!!!!!!!!! How dare her to use me on a bet! angry.gif 

"Sir, here's my cousin", I heard her say. I walked towards her and faced the guidance counselor. He was eyeing me curiously. Perhaps he's thinking Dara's family is a bunch of oddballs since I certainly look weird with this kind of get up.

"Annyonghasaeyo, I'm Kwo-, I'm Kim.......", I totally spaced out. What name should I use?

"Ermm...His name is Kim Ramyun", Dara said. I looked at her in horror. Of all the names in the world, why would she name me after the Korean noodles. (note: Ramyun is the Korean word for noodles). It's like saying I'm Hamburger Doe or SashimiNakamura! What was she thinking?? Even the counselor was surprised to such a weird name. I think he's doing his best to suppress his laugh.

"<*cough> I'm just going to get Miss Park's records," he said and he immediately left. Probably to laugh his lungs out at the backroom.

The moment he is out of earshot, I poked Dara's forehead while angrily asking her, "Kim Ramyun??? KIM RAMYUN?? Do you know how mighty stupid that sounds??". 

"I panicked! I'm sorry!!!", she said. But I can tell she is also trying not to laugh. I placed my hands on my face in frustration. I have yet to confront her with the bet I overheard at the corridors. I am really going to fry her and bury her alive after this!!!!!

"What do you think will happen?", she asked.

"Well, my crystall ball says this is another disaster waiting to happen," I said.

The counselor went back and he started discussing the trouble that Dara-ahjumma had caused. And this girl started to show her temper at the counselor, telling him that it wasn't her fault blah blah blah, SHEEEZZZ!!! She doesn't know how to bullsh!t her way out of things, does she?

"Excuse us sir, I'll just talk to her for a minute," I said as I dragged Dara-ahjumma who I think is about to kill the counselor with the pen she is holding.

“We’re going to play a game,” I said. “It’s called SHUT-UP!!!!!!!”, I angrily added. She seemed to grasp the mechanics of the game. 

I talked with the guidance counselor and reasoned with him about Dara-ahjumma's behaviour. It went smoothly while Dara stares at me in amazement. The guidance counselor and I agreed that Dara did not intentionally hurt her classmate and that everything was just a misunderstanding. I also brought up the fact that her classmate was actually the one that attacked her since she kneed Dara's nose.

All in all, I was able to save her from a possible red mark on her report card. Dara-ahjumma was bouncing happily while thanking me. Hah, you just wait until we get home Dara-ahjumma! You think your problems are solved? I am still not through with you!! 

"Dara", a guy called out her name when we were walking on the corridors.

"Lee Jongwan," she whispered. She immediately abandoned me and went running to that Lee Jongwan guy. I shook my head as I looked at what appears to be a love-smitten Dara-ahjumma. Yuck.

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Ardya1815 #1
Chapter 53: Thank u authornim for this story,,, i just finish all and i am thinking YOUR STORY SUPER DEABAK!!!!!!! I love u authornim.... Thank u to share with us ????? and im sorry i just write comment now. I just to absorb to ur story..... I hope u always healthy and happy
Yeng21 #2
Chapter 44: JJANG!!! This is jjang authornim!!!
Yeng21 #3
Chapter 26: Top just said he like her, its sure obvious that minho like her too and Ji, oh my gosh!! you love her and you just don't know it yet you creep!!!! Yow Dara ahjumma u surely a goddess
Chapter 54: I read this for the third time and I still crack up like a retard!!! Please post more Daragon fica authornim!!! Your stories are the best!!! Hwaiting!!!
lenmadulid #5
Jaslynn #6
Chapter 47: HAHa Ahjumma Dara strikes again Big Bangers ^///^ no matter how many times i reread this I still crack up
Chapter 14: This chapter OMG!! Hilarious... Awesome... That car scene... My stomach is paining by laughing so hard. Thank you authornim. You are awesome..
Chapter 38: Hahhahahahha.. Oppa really corrupted Dara unnies mind.. hahhahaahha
Chapter 35: Poor Jiyong oppa..
Chapter 33: This chapter is so hot.. kekekkekekeke