Jiyong woke up with a pain on his neck. He sat up while massaging it slightly and got a little disoriented on why he's on the living room. Then events of last night came rushing to his head. He let out a heavy sigh as he pulled himself up.
That's right, he has been dragged to the madness called 'Sandara Park'. Sandara Park (noun) is one of the rare species on the verge of extinction. If 'matter' has three states (solid, liquid, gas), she also has her own three states - in trouble, drunk, or her normal dorky retarded self.
Jiyong walked inside the room quietly and stared at the sleeping Dara. Without the eyeglasses, she's actually quite cute. GD sat on the right side of the bed and looked closely at her, he pushed aside the strands of hair that fell on Dara's face. She looks adorable when she sleeps but once she starts talking, ugh! GD shook his head as the Dara-ahjumma image formed in his head. Then, Dara made this gnawing sound as if she's chewing something. Tsk, such a waste of a pretty face. No wonder she doesn't have a lot of friends. She's weird and crazy, two traits that spells trouble.
Dara's stuffs are scattered on the floor. GD picked up her backpack and started to put her scattered stuffs inside it. As he was about to put her wallet inside the bag, he took a peek at how much money she has left and was surprised to find only 1000 won (roughly 1 dollar). She can only buy kimbap sold on the street stores with that amount. So, she really is broke.
GD walked to his closet and grabbed his wallet. He pulled out some cash and placed it inside Dara's wallet and placed a note inside. He then set the backpack by the wall, tucked Dara carefully under the blanket and left the room. Big Bang has an early schedule today. They need to practice to ensure that their performance in Inkigayo Chuseok Special will be the best.
He just hopes that the apartment will still be in one piece when he gets back.
This must be heaven! When I woke up, my things are neatly placed inside my backpack and when I went to the kitchen, my breakfast is prepared! Then, I found the sticky note that Jiyong left in the table. Well, the first part of the note enumerates all his reminders of not to do this, not to do that - wow, his list of things NOT to do makes the apartment building's safety precaution booklet look like a joke! He also gave me the key code of his apartment door. At the end of the note, Jiyong said he prepared my lunch and placed it inside the refrigerator. My eyes popped out! Omona!! Omo omo!!
I headed to the university with a big big smile that probably stretch up to the back of my head. I clutched my brown lunch bag near my chest, I felt like a married woman with a very loving husband! Well, I just have to ignore his constant naggings, which is an easy task coz Bom pretty much did the same to me so I've learned the craft of not paying attention whenever she opens to bombard me with her cuss words!
I went to the subway station and pulled out my metro card but it got rejected. Ehh?? Oh no!! I only have 1000 won in my wallet! The one way subway card costs 1500 won! Crap! What should I...eehhhh???!! I pulled out the wad of cash inside my wallet. Is this really my wallet? I looked suspiciously at what I was holding. It does looks like it's mine but how can it magically produce amazing amount of cash?!!
I found another sticky note on my wallet. It's from Jiyong!! Omoooo!!! I felt like my heart is about to burst out of my chest. My gosh, Mr. Kwon please don't be like this! The note said my wallet is suffering from malnutrition so he just feed it just this once. He said I should stop being stupid and work harder so that I won't see myself in difficult situations like this one.
He might be a jerk for most of the time but how can anyone hold a grudge on that hot guy? Not to mention, he is so thoughtful <*melts~ ~>! Kyahhh!!! I look at the money that he left in my wallet and without realizing, I started spinning in place while holding my arms up as if I've won the lottery. I'm rich! I'm RICH!!! I can buy all material things like....world peace! People are eyeing me curiously as they try to avoid me, but who cares? I'm RICH!
I arrived at the university and went straight to my locker. I passed Bom's locker, this is the first time that she has been away for so long since we entered college. I'm used to seeing her everyday because our lockers are near each other and because she will always stick with me after our class. Things look different without her.
I opened my locker and a variety of things came crashing towards my unprepared body. Holy cow! Where did all these stuffs come from?! I heard a bunch of people laughing. <*sigh> I should've known. My classmates apparently piled in a lot of garbages inside my locker to play a prank on me. How childish. If Bom was here, they will only bully me once in a while whenever we're already in our classroom. But since Bom is absent, they're going all out with their pranks.
"Make a list of anyone who'll bully you, got it? When I come back, I'll smash their skull open.", that's the last words of Bom before she boarded the plane. She's a complete opposite of me. I wonder why she decided to become my friend. Anyway, it's not as if I'll squeal, I don't wanna entangle Bom with my own troubles.
I lazily knelt on the floor to gather my things and shot a death glare to my classmates (well, it's not actually a death glare, just a simple glare coz I'm pretty sure they can fold me in half and stuff me inside a closet whenever they want - they're strong, I know). As I was getting my book, somebody stepped on it. Before I was able to look up, I was kneed on my nose. OUCHH!!!
"Ooopps, sorry. My knee suddenly got itchy. Hahahahaha!", she said. It was one of my classmates from the b!tch crowd. AishhHHTT!!! Bleeding nose so early in the morning, awesome.. I thought she's already finished with the bullying so I just let it slip. But before leaving, she stepped on my brown lunch bag - the lunch that Jiyong prepared is crushed by this filthy little !! I can envision my temper shooting up to the sky! Fcking b!tch needs to be taught a lesson!
I grabbed both of her legs and pulled it, she fell facedown on the floor. There was a big 'THUUUDDD!!!' followed by a loud 'CRRACCKK!'.. There was a frightening silence on the once noisy corridor - this is never a good sign. Okay, Dara, calm down. THAT sound is NOT good. Otokae!!!! To be honest, I was actually glad that the fighting move that Bom taught me actually worked. On the other hand, I am scared sh!tless right now!!! Omooooo!!!!!! Did I just kill a person with my bare hands? WAAAHHH!! Bommie didn't tell me I should not do that move without BOMinator supervision!
A pair of feet appeared in front of me. "Dara-sshi, here, take my hand", the stranger said.
I was half-expecting to see a hole on my floor coz, well I don't know, maybe she was able to find a portal through hell or something since she's a weirdo.
As soon as I opened the door, I was welcomed by a very foul odor. Black smoke is coming from the kitchen. FCKKK!!!!!! Did she REALLY set the apartment on fire? Oh sweet heavens, please help me!!
A figure came out of the black smoke. I rushed to her while shouting my battle cry "DARA-AHJUMMAAAA!!! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO THIS TIME???!!"
She looked at me innocently and said "Welcome home! I'm cooking dinner!"
"You call this 'cooking dinner'? This is called 'setting my kitchen on fire'!! Look at that smoke!", I screamed while frantically pointing at the stove that will surely burn your eyebrows because of the high fire. Oh my effing goodness!! I think I will be the first person in Korea who will drop dead because of extreme ANNOYANCE!! She is gradually killing me with her immeasurable stupidity!
"Will you relax? Watch tv or something. Let me handle this, dinner will be served shortly", she said while giving me a reassuring smile. I looked at the vegetables she's cutting. Oh man, I can already hear the housewives in Seoul screaming in protest at the way she cuts! The slices are so BIG! You can actually grab one and plant it back, I'm sure they will grow and you'll have this little plantation of vegetables taken from Dara-ahjumma's ingredients.
I'm not a very picky eater. I mean, put chili powder on anything and I will love it. But her cooking skills is LEGENDARY. Legendary failure.
When I saw the way she cooks, I immediately knew it's going to be something bizarre. Nothing edible will come out of it. True enough, the finished product was definitely a sight to behold. She was now setting the dining table. In the middle is the food she cooked. I've never seen anything so revolting! I gave her this one chance and she totally blew it!
"What is THAT??", I asked. I honestly don't have a fcking clue what she prepared.
"Ermmm. Dak Doritang (Spicy Chicken Stew with vegetables)", she answered shyly. She must be joking, right? She dare call this chicken stew?? Spicy chicken stew is predominantly red because of the chili powder, hers is.. I don't even know how to describe it! What the hell is that color? It looks like poop! Even beggars will not eat that damn thing!
There goes my appetite! She just ruined it without even trying. I looked at her warily and wiggled my pointing finger urging her to come near me. As soon as she was at my arm's distance, I grabbed my spoon and gently tapped her forehead with it.
"YOU! You're a disgrace to all ahjummas! You don't know how to cook!", I said exhaustedly. And again, she just smiled brightly at me when she offered to just cook instant ramen for both of us.
Why is she overenthusiastic? This so weird. Something definitely smells fishy.
"Why did you cook dinner anyway? I specifically wrote in my note that you should not go near any flammable material or pointed objects!", I shouted. Yes, my conversations with her always involve a lot of yelling.
"This is my token of appreciation for what you did this morning," she said with twinkling eyes. Please take note of thetwinkling eyes part. Did she take it the wrong way. Puh-leeazzee, don't tell me she's having a crush on me??!!
I originally planned to prepare a grand dinner for him to get to his good side before I drop the bomb but look at this mess that I made AGAIN! AARRRGGGHHH!!
I was at the sink to fill the pot with water and I didn't realize it's already full. I was just staring at it while my mind is busy formulating a plan to tell him the BAD BAD BAD news! You see, I was summoned to the guidance office because of what I did earlier while my classmate was taken to the infirmary due to broken nose (hmmpphh, serves her right for being so evil!). The guidance counselor asked for my guardian to go to the university tomorrow to have a talk with him. Damn it! Where will I get a guardian???? I already insisted that I'm living alone but the counselor wouldn't hear any of it. He said I should bring any relatives of mine.
I don't have any choice. I don't want to ask my Omma to go here to Seoul because of the trouble that I caused, it will break her heart. So my only option is none other than Jiyong. I told the counselor that I'll just bring my 'cousin'. I just hope Jiyong will agree after he kills me.
A hand suddenly reached out to the faucet and turned it off. I turned around and bumped on Jiyong's chest, his arms are trapping me since his right hand is still holding the faucet, his left hand is rested by the sink while I'm at the middle. <*~~dies~~~> Aigooo, aigooo!!!! I took a sharp intake of air... Wrong move!! I can still smell his perfume. Whatever perfume he's wearing should be banned from the market, I think it is the cause of overpopulation in this country.
His face is getting closer to my face! I then heard him whisper angrily "Spill it out. You're hiding something, aren't you?". I nearly had a nervous breakdown as I felt his hot breath near my cheeks..
"WAAAAAHHH!!! Alright, I'm talking, I'm talking!!", I yelled in panic. By golly, I would even admit to murdering someone if he is my interrogator!
I explained the situation to him.
"So basically, you need to go to the guidance office tomorrow to talk to my counselor....", I said. I held my breath as his eyes immediately turned into slits. I inconspicuously pushed the knife holders away from him in fear of being stabbed to death. By the way he looks, it seems he is just holding to his tiny strand of sanity before he throws me to the Pacific Ocean.
"DARA-AHJUMMMMAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!", he screamed like no other. Oh snap!!!!!
"What made you think I'll go to your school to cover for you? Do you realize that will put me in a tight spot?? May I just remind you that once people recognize me, a scandal will spread like wildfire!!", he continued. I think I'm already deaf.
"PLEASE!! Go to my school tomorrow! If no one comes, I might not be able to graduate! The counselor wouldn't sign my clearance!", I begged.
"Uh-huh. Then, you're screwed.", he said. Yes Jiyong, you bet I am. I'm SCREWED!!!!! Waahhh!!! Afterwards, he scolded me upside down.
"Why did you attack your classmate anyway?", he asked.
"I would've just let it go when she kneed my nose but then, she stepped on my brown lunch bag," I answered. He was surprised, maybe because he didn't know of my nose injury. Well, the school nurse did a pretty good job in tending my wounds so it's no biggie.
Surprisingly, his screaming bonanza stopped. His back was facing me as he searched for something to use to salvage the poor dish that I prepared. Then he turned to face me again.
"You didn't retaliate when your classmate hit you on the nose, then why did you lose your temper when she messed with your lunch? You can replace that food, you know.", he said matter-of-factly.
"But...that was the lunch that you prepared...", I sheepishly said. "Uhmm, by the way, I'll just go to my former apartment to grab my other stuffs I left. The new owner might throw it if I don't get it now," I added as I ran out.
On my way to my former apartment, the guy that helped me this morning crossed my mind.
== START OF FLASHBACK ==
"Dara-sshi, here, take my hand", that's what the stranger said. I looked up and I stared at him in disbelief. Why is the most popular guy in school offering his hand to help me stand up?
His name is Lee Jongwan. I grabbed his hand and he gave me his handkerchief to wipe my bleeding nose. Whoooaa, he's like a prince..Or..or..a knight in shining armor!
"Stay safe", he said before walking away.
== END OF FLASHBACK
How cool!!! I reached my former apartment and started gathering my stuffs. I knocked on the apartment door to thank the new owner for letting me leave my things in front of his door. The door opened and out came a tall man wearing a mask, shades and a hooded sweater. I can understand why he's wearing a hooded sweater and a mask because I figured he must be sick coz he was coughing. But, what's up with the shades??
My curiosity must've been written on my face because he explained it without me even asking, "I'm allergic to the sun," he said.
"Oh, i see. I just want to thank you for not letting the cleaning staff throw my stuffs," I said and bowed to him.
"What is your most important personal belonging from that pile?", he suddenly asked. That took me by surprise. Is he...crazy? Or does he really normally asks the weirdest questions?
"This one..It's my very first stuff toy - Tam Tam," I said while showing him my stuff toy.
"I almost got in trouble because of your stuffs piled up in the hallway, how will you repay me?", he asked. Of course, I need to pay him. Nothing's free in this world anymore <*sigh>. I took out my wallet while asking him how much I owe him.
"Who said I want money?," he answered. GAhd!!! What is up with this person?! He actually pisses me off! I looked at him from head to toe, is he the angel of death?? Or a vampire? Everything about him is suspicious.
"Then, how can I repay you?", I asked. I was frozen on spot when he quickly grabbed Tam Tam! What is this ba$tard thinking???
"Come here 2 days from now and make me laugh. This is my hostage. If you don't come or if you bring someone with you or if you fail to make me laugh, I'll rip this thing apart.", he said. I can even imagine a mischievous smile forming in his lips. My mouth was gaping open the whole time, unable to believe the craziness of what I'm hearing. Seriously, WHAT IS UP WITH HIM?? I've never met anyone WEIRDER than me!