MY CELEBRITY ROOMMATE - fanfic by huntress
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(thanks kamepi_chan for the image manip! you're awesome!)


My toes are curling and my insides are shriveling up!

That's my body's reaction whenever I remember the 'I-thought-he-is-going-to-freaking-kiss-me!' Jiyong encounter last night. When we reached our apartment, I almost set up the bed barricade again! Imagine my relief when he started packing and he informed me that Big Bang needs to go to the MV shooting location last night!

ARRRGGGHHHH!!!!!! What is happening to me?! 

I threw myself on the bed and started rolling like crazy. Big mistake... I sniffed Jiyong's scent on the bedsheet, my mind turned all y by itself again. zz-num-36.gif

GYAAAHHHHHH!!!!! I jumped out of the bed like my as$ is on fire. Holy crap, I think I need some strong medication. Or a new hobby? Something! Anything! Wahhhh! I pulled my hair in hopes that the pain on my scalp will bring back some senses on my blurry head.

Then my phone rang. Minho is calling me! Minho! Thank heavens for Minho!

"Minhooooo!!!!", I screamed excitedly, truly grateful for his existence to save me from the verge of insanity.

"Yah DaRabbit. I won't fall for your cute act so please stop it. The Awards Ceremony is tomorrow night. WE HAVE TO DO YOUR MAKEOVER!!", he yelled, trying to rupture my eardrums.

"FINE! I'm free the whole day tomorrow. I have classes today.", I answered. There was an awkward pause on the other line. 

"Is one day enough to do your makeover? I mean, I'm very EXTRA sure finding a dress that will complement you will prove to be a potential challenge...considering you have a body of a 12-year-old boy...", he said matter-of-factly.

I hang up with annoyance, almost breaking my phone to gazillion tiny little pieces. Grrr, that Minho!



[Thursday Morning]

I took three steps forward and immediately retracted. I've been pacing back and forth in front of Dara's building for the past 20 minutes. If someone is looking outside their windows from this building, chances are they've already called the police - reporting a suspicous woman loitering outside. <*sigh>

I cast one last look at Dara's building and started leaving, my feet getting heavier and heavier at every step. Yesterday, I saw her holding that stupid sign, tempting me with cupcakes just to accept her apology. She was standing there while everybody was laughing at her. That fool...

I terribly miss that fool...

I wanted to talk to her. I wanted to say I should be the one apologizing, that we should just forget the whole thing and move on. But I don't know how to face her. Even if she was saying sorry, what if deep inside, she still hates me? It was the first time she openly said she was upset with me. I'M UPSET WITH YOU BOM! I can still vividly remember that day when she shouted at me, looking very disappointed. There are two words that I'm not very good at saying in a sincere way - "Sorry" and "Thank You". I badly wanted to apologize to Dara, but I can't find my tongue whenever I want to do it.

People always ask me why I'm friends with her. They fail to see what an amazing person Dara really is. They thought I was always the one protecting her. In reality, she's the strongest among all the people I met. You can throw any misfortune at her but she won't bow down and admit defeat without fighting. She's the one who slapped me back to my senses when I was going the wrong path. She's the only person who bravely faced me head on and slammed my feet back on the ground when my popularity at school started going up my head. She made me realize how lucky I was to have loving parents. 

I stopped on my tracks. Why am I cowardly walking away out of my bestfriend's life just because I'm afraid that she truly hates me? Just because of my stupid pride? Will Dara really throw away our friendship because of Lee Jongwan? Does she really hate me?

Before I finish my mini-monologue, somebody suddenly hugged me from behind! I was getting ready to scream my lungs out when I realized who it was.

"BOMMMM!!! I'M SORRY!! TALK TO ME PLEASE!!!", Dara started wailing before I had time to react.

"YAH! Stop screaming on my ears!", I said to cover up my embarrassment, but my voice got a bit shaky. My eyes are not cooperating either, it's welling up on its own.

She immediately let me go and stepped back. I turned around to face her.

"You MORON!!", I screamed while weakly hitting her arms with my bag as tears started falling from my eyes. 

"How can you say you're upset with me...Do you hate me that much?", I bitterly asked, afraid to hear the answer.

"WAAHHH!! BOMMMIIIIEE!!! I DON'T HATE YOU, I'M SORRY!! I realized what a big idiot I was for acting that way. Forgive meeeeeee!!", she bawled like a kid. Aigoooo, it's hard to keep crying when this retard is in front of you.

"I'm sorry Dara...And thank you..", I whispered while fixing my gaze on my feet, embarrassed that those words are coming out of my mouth.

Dara ran to me and hugged me again. I wiped my tears while laughing as she continuously apologized. I patted her back to calm her but she just wouldn't stop sobbing. Aigooo...

"Dara? Are you alright?", a voice that anyone who's not a KPop retard will recognize suddenly asked. I slowly turned my head and there he is, G-DRAGON himself - carrying a bag over his shoulders, wearing torn jeans and a hooded sweater! I can't believe my eyes, he is overflowing with charisma! 

Which reminds me, how the hell did my bestfriend ended up being friends with GD? According to some internet sources, they became friends during Big Bang's Inkigayo comeback. I was there with Dara. Did they suddenly became friends after GD helped her when she fainted? It's soooo confusing!

Dara ran to GD and exclaimed, "Jiyong, Bom forgave me!!". GD looked genuinely happy, like he knew what went on between Dara and I. He then pulled out his handkerchief and started wiping Dara's tears. 

I think my jaw literally dropped to the ground. I'm unable to comprehend what's happening before my eyes. GD placed his arms around Dara and they both walked towards me.

"Annyeonghaseyo, I'm Kwon Jiyong. It's nice to meet you Bom. I think the three of us need to talk", he said. I bowed my head, but my mouth refuse to produce any sound. I wasn't even able to properly introduce myself. I mean, what the heck?! The three of us need to talk? I feel like I'm Dara's mom and GD is about to ask Dara's hands for marriage!



<*nudge nudge>

<*wink wink>

Bom seriously needs to stop nudging and winking at me. She's been doing that for the past 20 minutes after Jiyong told her the whole story.

Jiyong even asked Bom if she could please not tell anyone, especially my parents, about our living condition. At first Bom was hesitant and suggested that I should live with her instead, but Jiyong strongly refused. He worked his charms on Bom and in the end, my bestfriend agreed. You should've seen how Jiyong convinced Bom, it was like MAGIC. He really knows how to talk his way in and out of things. 

But I don't know why my bestfriend turned into a 'winking machine', it's really bothersome. 

<*nudge nudge>

<*wink wink>

Aigoooo.... Here she goes again. 

"Yah! Why don't you ask GD to accompany you to the Univ Ball even for just a few minutes?", Bom whispered excitedly.

"I tried! Apparently, Big Bang has a schedule.", I answered.

"Try again!", she firmly said.

"Jiyong, will you show up to the Univ Ball this Saturday? Even for a few minutes?", I yelled, enough for him to hear me at the bedroom. Jiyong came out, carrying a backpack and a travelling bag. I immediately shifted my gaze when he stared at me.

"You know I can't. We have to finish the MV shoot and besides, manager hyung is going to butcher me if I go. He almost had a heart attack when I showed up on your cafeteria", he said while doing some final checks on his stuffs inside the bag.

"Oh, you're doing an MV Shoot? Is there a leading girl like Big Bang's previous MV?", Bom asked.

"Yes. You probably know her, it's Seo Yu Hee. Our film director is a huge fan of her", Jiyong nonchalantly answered while his voice echoed on my ears. It's Seo YU Hee. SEO YU HEE??!!!!!

"Seo Yu Hee? SEO YU HEE?!", I asked incredulously.

"Yes, why?", Jiyong chuckled as he looked at me. Again, I diverted my gaze. Gahhh!!! 

"Dara, who's going to accompany you to the Ball?", Bom asked.

"My friend, Minho", I said without offering further explanation.

"Minho???!! That creepy guy from your former apartment? The one who kidnapped Tam Tam? IToldYouToBackOutOfThatStupidBetWhyWouldn'tYouListenToMe??!!", Jiyong yelled, unable to contain his annoyance even in front of Bom. zz-num-31.gif

"But I gave them my word!", I protested while stomping my feet. Jiyong took a few strides and stood in front of me, I took several steps backward. He then crossed his arms while eyeing me with creased forehead.

"So you'd rather kiss Mr. Creepy Tenant than back out of your words?", Jiyong asked, his eyes turning into slits.

"<*cough> Dara, I think GD has a point. Just back out of the bet. If they do any stupid tricks, I'll make sure it will backfire to them", Bom interjected while looking at me and Jiyong, puzzled. Something tells me I still have a lot of explaining to do later to satisfy Bom's curiosity.

"Alright, I'll think about it.", I said with slumped shoulder.

"Good girl", Jiyong said afterwards while patting my head. I concentrated on staring at the flower vase on the table, I dared not look at Jiyong! Holy cow, until when will this temporary insanity last?!



[Thursday Afternoon]

"What?!", I asked for the nth time at the smiling Bom - the kind of smile that makes you feel she knows something that she doesn't want to tell you, but will end up telling you anyway. Our classes have ended and we decided to hang out at the coffee shop near our apartment. She made me tell her my side of the story about how I became Jiyong's roommate. (I haven't told Bom about Minho yet)

Her smile widens and her face is so near mine as she looked at me carefully. I placed my forefinger on her forehead and pushed her face away.

"YOU....LIKE.....HIM!!!!", she suddenly exclaimed and hugged me.

"Yah, Jiyong is just my roommate! We can't like each other.", I said defensively.

"I didn't even mention a name but you assumed it's already GD", Bom said and stood up to get some water.

"It's obvious you're talking about Jiyong", I hissed at Bom who just waved at me dismissively and went straight to the coffee counter. I angrily stuff the pepero (cookie stick dipped in chocolate) in my mouth. 

"Who's talking about Jiyong?", Jiyong sat on Bom's seat while looking at me questioningly. My eyes popped out of their sockets and I almost choked on the pepero that I was eating. I grabbed the coffee in front of me and drank it in one go, forgetting that it was hot. I was coughing for my life afterwards while Jiyong pats my back.

"Aigoo, look at you. How can you stay alive whenever I'm not around?", he said. I just laughed awkwardly to dodge the question and shrugged my shoulders. 

"We will stay at the MV location starting tonight. Make sure you always have your phone with you. And remember, BACK OUT OF THE BET, arasso?", he said.

"I'll think about it..Uhmm, is Yu Hee going to be with you guys?", I asked. 

"Yes. Go straight home after chatting with Bom. I just need to pick some stuffs and I'll be going.", he said. The pepero that I placed in my mouth is still protruding from my lips. I can't bring myself to even chew the cookie stick when he said Yu Hee is going to be staying at the MV location with them. Aigoooo...


Jiyong suddenly took a bite at the protruding pepero from my lips! For the second time today, I almost died of choking. Jiyong smiled at me playfully and pushed the remaining pepero on my mouth. He then stood up, leaving my frozen body behind. zz-num-20.gif

Bom was also paralyzed in her spot while holding two glasses of water. When Jiyong completely left the coffee shop, Bom started screaming excitedly while shaking me. She wouldn't have stopped screaming and jumping until the coffee shop manager threatened her of calling the cops.



[Friday Morning]

<*blink blink>

My GOSHHHH!!! I only slept a few hours! What is happening to me? I'm going C-R-A-Z-Y!! zz-num-23.gif

I can still picture Jiyong's playful smile when he rested his forehead on mine and when he took a bite of the pepero with amazing clarity. I think it will be haunting my sleep for weeks! 

Suddenly, my phone rang. It's only 8am in the morning and I don't have classes today. I picked up the phone and sure enough, it was none other than Minho.

"YAH!! Get your as$ in my apartment quickly! WE HAVE TO DO YOUR MAKEOVER TODAY!", he screamed in panic.

"It's 8AM in the morning! Eight AM!", I spelled it out trying to make him realize that we have plenty of time since the Awards Ceremony is almost half day away.

"It's 8AM ALREADY! Get out of bed! And bring all your clothes with you. ALL OF IT! Don't make me drag you out of your apartment.", he threatened before hanging up. Hmph, such a pain.


I fixed myself and went to Minho's apartment while carrying all my clothes. I'm not sure why he wanted me to bring all my clothes but I complied anyway since I'm quite sure that if I didn't, he'll raid my apartment. 

Minho didn't even notice me enter the door since he was moving here and there in a frenzy. He was dialing his phone and making appointments while flipping through some fashion magazines.

"Yes, we will be coming there in the afternoon. I'll leave her in your care. Thank you.", he said before hanging up. When he finally noticed me, he donned his mask and bonnet and immediately dragged me out of the apartment without saying a word.

"Good morning to you too!", I sarcastically said.

"Shut up. You're late!", he yelled, already stressed out. Kekekekekke

He tossed me in the car and drove off. The ride consists of him yelling at me while I was dozing off. I wonder why he has to drag me into this when there's a long list of girls waiting to be invited by him. 

We finally arrived in a street lined up with high fashion clothing. I gave Minho a weary look and did not get out of the car.

"Why here? Let's go to Dongdaemun instead.", I said, referring to the largest wholesale market. But Minho won't hear any of it and literally pulled me out of the car! 

"STOP COMPLAINING!! Good grief, I'm suffering from chronic fatigue because of you! The Awards Ceremony is tonight, we have got to get you ready!", he screamed. 

"Aigoo, what's the big deal. It's an Awards Ceremony. You just have to wear tuxedo, and I'll wear a dress. We're going to sit for the most part and clap our hands. That's it.", I retorted. Minho looked at me like I'm from Planet Ping-Pong.

"You are such a TV retard, aren't you? It's an Awards Ceremony, almost all the great actors and actresses sunbaenims will be there. Of course a lot of the TV networks, reporters, etc will be there as well. It's like the whole nation is watching every move you make. Yes we're going to sit and clap for the most parts, but we're going to socialize as well! It's a freaking battlefield out there.", he exaggeratedly said with hand gestures.

I'm really tempted to say I don't care but stopped myself since Minho will throw a fit for sure.

As soon as we entered the first store, Minho started throwing a bunch of clothes at me.

"Yah, we only need one dress, right? What's with all these?", I asked showing him the mountain of clothes he threw at me.

"Well since we're doing your makeover, might as well do a COMPLETE MAKEOVER. I'm buying you a whole new set of clothes. Our schedule today is 1. buy new outfit that you can wear at home and in school, 2. go to the derma clinic, 3. buy a dress for the Awards Ceremony, 4. go to the salon", he answered while browsing.

I just stood there stupefied.

"What? Were you struck by the sudden flash of realization that clothes are more than long curtain skirts and ahjumma blouses?", he said as he threw another set of clothes on my face.

"Minho, I appreciate the gesture, I really do. But...are you out of your freaking mind?!", I said incredulously. He just rolled his eyes and continued what he was doing.

"I told you before, legend has it that anyone wearing those ahjumma clothes are bound to be cursed for ETERNITY!", he joked. I'm not even half-amused. 

I looked at the price tag of one of the clothes and I almost vomit. Dear heavens! I won't buy these things on my own free will! It is not something any mortal can afford! zz-num-11.gif

"Okay, let's buy all these. On to the next store...", Minho said.

"I haven't even fitted them yet. And have you seen the prices of these clothes?", I whispered while my eyes darted left and right. 

"I know your size, and we're running out of time. On to the next store....", he said pointing nowhere in particular while the salesladies carried all the stuffs, obviously happy with their retarded customer.

"Have you seen the prices? My gosh, even if you sell all my internal organs, I won't be able to pay for even one of those", I whispered to him in panic. He just laughed at me and proceeded to the cashier.

I just stood behind him. My mouth gapes open wider and wider as the saleslady scans each clothes, unable to believe the accumulated total of what we're about to buy. Minho gave his credit card and nonchalantly signed the bill. I snatched the receipt from him, still unable to believe my eyes. The amount that Minho paid can feed one Korean family for a month! Even the hungry children in Africa flashed my mind.

We fought for a couple of minutes because I wanted to return all the clothes. In the end, Minho had to drag me out of the store while I kept on shouting for a refund. 

"Minho, stop this. I'm fine with my clothes. Let's just buy the dress that I have to wear, I'm begging you!", I said but it has fallen on deaf ears. Minho has already decided and there's no turning back.

We did the same cycle on almost every store - him throwing a bunch of clothes at me; me almost fainting upon looking at the price tags. In the end, he bought everything to his liking and we almost had a truckload of stuffs.

"Last store and we're off to the derma clinic.", he said. We were about to enter when he realized he left his car keys at the previous store.

"DaRabbit, you go ahead first and pick whatever you like, I'll just follow you", he said and ran off.

I entered the store, not knowing what to do. I walked around and browse at some clothes, they are quite pretty. I tried not to peek at the price but I can't help myself. I picked one blouse and looked at the price tag, I shuddered at the sight of the amount! My hand slipped and the blouse together with the hanger made a sound as they fell on the floor.

"Aisshhtt! Ahjumma, if you are not going to buy, don't mess with the clothes!", the saleslady snatched the blouse from me and hanged it back with annoyance.

I apologized and bowed down. I can feel my head shrinking because of humiliation. I immediately tried to leave the store but...

"Didn't you like any clothes here?", Minho said as he placed his arms around my shoulders while giving the salesladies his most charming smile. Omo, he removed his mask?!

"Lee Minho-ssi!", the rude saleslady shrieked as soon as he recognized him. The whole store is now frozen as all attention are on us.

Minho then started dialing on his phone and talked to the owner of the store. The rude saleslady is about to pee from her pants due to extreme nervousness. 

"Yes, Andre, I'm in your store with my friend. I'm accompanying her to buy new set of clothes. But apparently, your saleslady named....Yenna doesn't want us here.", Minho said mischievously, still smiling. This is the first time I saw Minho really pissed off at someone (other than me, of course). 

The saleslady almost collapsed when her name was mentioned. Minho apologized for entering the store, the saleslady almost begged him to stay, obviously to redeem herself. But Minho just smiled and waved goodbye while pulling me out of there. Somebody is about to lose her job.

Minho's grip on my wrist tightened as soon as we exit the store. He turned me around to face him and I can tell he's really angry.

"Why didn't you retaliate on that b!tch?! If someone bullies you, don't just bow your head and stupidly apologize!", he said under gritted teeth. I just pouted my lips and did not answer. 

Minho let out a frustrated sigh and rested his head on my shoulders.

"What will I do with you, Dara? You are sooo dumb!", he said.

"I'm sorry, okay. I won't let that thing happen again. I'll be sure to throw my killer punches on anyone who even dare bullies me. Just be sure you have enough money to pay my bail.", I said trying to lighten things up. zz-num-13.gif

"Aigooooo..", Minho slapped my hands and pushed me towards the direction of the car. We're off to our next stop - the derma clinic.


My jaw dropped to the floor as we entered the derma clinic. My eyes riveted from left to right, glaring at the people in white suits with mask waiting for us. 

He created an army! zz-num-20.gif

"Yah, are we going to invade North Korea or something?", I asked. I shifted my questioning gaze at Minho, unable to comprehend what they plan to do.

"She's all yours", he said.

I have a feeling I'll be screaming my lungs out while running for my life pretty shortly.

"Sandara-ssi, please wear this bathrobe. Our first procedure is waxing.", one of the white masked ninjas said...WAXING?!





[Friday Afternoon]

I almost shed a tear, it was so hilarious. zz-num-24.gif

After our trip to the derma clinic, which Dara referred as the mini-torture chamber, we proceeded to some fashion stores to choose a dress that she'll wear for tonight. I gave her the liberty to choose and was waiting for her to come out of the fitting room.

As soon as she came out wearing the dress, I tried to keep a straight face but I can't. I was laughing my as$ off the whole time! I bet she just chose that dress because it's the cheapest.

She picked an overly large dress three times her size, and it even has big shoulder pads for crying out loud! Think Madonna on the 1980s, that's the fashion she came up with. I already have tummy cramps from too much laughing.

"Yah, you said I can choose whatever I want.", Dara kicked my legs in an attempt to make me stop.

"I take back my words! I take back my words!", I said, almost out of breath from laughing.

"It will be catastrophic if you choose your own clothes", I added. Dara sat down and angrily looked at me.

"This shop has a fashion assistant. Why don't you let her help you choose the dress. I won't even look at it, surprise me later. I just have to go pick up something at the other store. Then I'll come back here and we'll go to the salon.", I said when I finally calmed down.

"Even if I say no, you'll still insist on what you want, won't you?", she said. Oh, how well she knows me! Kekekekeeke

I just smiled at her and pinched her nose. I then gave some instructions on the fashion assistant and left. Actually, I'm planning on buying Dara's dress for tomorrow night's University Ball.


As promised, I did not look at the dress that she is going to wear for the Awards Ceremony. I just pray that it will be something normal. While paying for it and after making sure Dara is out of earshot, I called the attention of the fashion assistant.

"You did not let her choose anything weird, did you?", I whispered.

"No sir. She was planning on getting the dress for pregnant women but I was able to talk her out of it", the fashion assistant said, trying to stop herself from laughing. I gave her a tip for tolerating the rabbit ahjumma.

Off we went to the salon.

Dara did not let anyone touch her hair without putting up a fight! The hair stylists were already on the verge of crying. But Dara won't let anyone cut her hair.

"Yah, I'm claiming the Dara coupon, remember? You have to be obedient.", I firmly said.

"Shove it to your as$, you flaming retard!", she screamed.

I sighed dramatically and searched something from her bag. When I found what I was looking for, I mercilessly waived the rag doll in front of her. I snatched the nearest scissors and threatened her.

"Let the hairstylists do their job or say bye-bye to Tam Tam", I asked.

Dara let out an ear-shattering shriek, I think all of the stylists here are itching to call an exorcist. She jumped on me and tried to get Tam Tam back. 

"Fine, fine! Do what you want!", she said, defeated.

"Alright, I'll leave her to your care.", I said. I snatched her humongous eyeglasses and broke it, much to her horror.

"You don't need eyeglasses, you have a clear vision, dummy", I said.

"I swear, I will get back to you for this!", she yelled.

"Whatever. I'll pick you up here around 7PM. The Awards Ceremony is at 8PM. Wear your dress after they finish applying makeup on you", I reminded her. She just stuck her tongue out in response.

I left the salon to get myself ready as well.



It's already 7:30PM!!!!!!!! What's taking her sooo long?! We are going to be late! zz-num-31.gif

"DARA! If you don't come out of the dressing room, I'll ask the security staff to drag you", I yelled. I'm really going INSANE! What happened to her?!

"You didn't shave off her head, did you?", I asked the hairstylist, knowing full well that if it's Dara you're dealing with, there will be fleeting moments that you just want to shave off her head or strangle her.

The hairstylist just smiled at me knowingly, as well as the make-up artists. What the hell is going on here? I'm starting to get really worried.

"DARA! Are you alright?", I yelled, ready to barge in to the girl's dressing room.

I heard the doorknob clicked, the door slowly opens. Dara took a few tentative steps forward while looking down. She then lifted her gaze and met my eyes.

I was not even blinking.

 Writer's note:

hi all, follow me on twitter: huntress2021

thanks for reading!


Lotsa Love,



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Ardya1815 #1
Chapter 53: Thank u authornim for this story,,, i just finish all and i am thinking YOUR STORY SUPER DEABAK!!!!!!! I love u authornim.... Thank u to share with us ????? and im sorry i just write comment now. I just to absorb to ur story..... I hope u always healthy and happy
Yeng21 #2
Chapter 44: JJANG!!! This is jjang authornim!!!
Yeng21 #3
Chapter 26: Top just said he like her, its sure obvious that minho like her too and Ji, oh my gosh!! you love her and you just don't know it yet you creep!!!! Yow Dara ahjumma u surely a goddess
Chapter 54: I read this for the third time and I still crack up like a retard!!! Please post more Daragon fica authornim!!! Your stories are the best!!! Hwaiting!!!
lenmadulid #5
Jaslynn #6
Chapter 47: HAHa Ahjumma Dara strikes again Big Bangers ^///^ no matter how many times i reread this I still crack up
Chapter 14: This chapter OMG!! Hilarious... Awesome... That car scene... My stomach is paining by laughing so hard. Thank you authornim. You are awesome..
Chapter 38: Hahhahahahha.. Oppa really corrupted Dara unnies mind.. hahhahaahha
Chapter 35: Poor Jiyong oppa..
Chapter 33: This chapter is so hot.. kekekkekekeke