MY CELEBRITY ROOMMATE - fanfic by huntress
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GD felt dehydrated after falling victim to Dara's glittery red dress. He has been staring at her in shock for a couple of minutes. Dara definitely powered up her Ahjumma-ness.

GD: You poor woman. You... zz-num-11.gif 

Dara: Jiyong-ah, accompany me to the Univ Ball, will you? <*pouts her cherry red lips>

GD: Please don't wear that thing in front of people, I beg you. <*still shocked>

GD turns around and was about to go to the bedroom when Dara called for him again.

Dara: Jiyong, the Univ Ball is two weeks from now! Please accompany me just this once and we'll leave the party in just a couple of minutes

GD: Nope..


Dara went to school early and didn't have time to wake GD. Her classmates are already giving her enough trouble as it is so she doesn't want to give them more reasons to make her school life hard.

When GD woke up, his first thought was to burn Dara's red dress so that it won't cause further visual damage to other people. Unfortunately, he can't find it. He was about to call Dara when he realized that she doesn't own a mobile phone. GD sighed heavily and made up some plans for the day. He will just have to deal with Dara-ahjumma problems at the end of the day.


Dara was reading the script for the group project while walking on the corridors. She was on her way to her last class and was again lost in her own world while talking to herself.

Dara: If I were a judge, I will fry all those criminal ba$tards. I will point to them one by one and say FRY...FRY...FRY...NOW...NOW..NOW

Suddenly, a voice interrupted her conversation with herself.

Lee Jongwan: I am so glad you're not a judge. <*smiles>

Dara: Lee Jongwan-sshi! Omo, I haven't thanked you properly for helping me yesterday.

Lee Jongwan: Don't worry about it. Your classmates are really something, aren't they? Why do they keep on pulling those pranks on you?

Dara: <*sigh> I don't know either. Jiyo---, ermmm, my friend said I am being bullied because of the way I dress. I dunno.

Lee Jongwan: Hmmmm...But I think you're still cute. <*smiles> See you later Dara.

Dara was paralyzed, she cannot, for the life of her, believe her ears!!! Could it be that Sandara Park's spring is finally coming?! BOOYAH!!! zz-num-40.gif 

She was still in cloud nine until she reached her classroom. One of her classmates is holding her Univ Ball dress that she left in her locker and is waving the dress in front of the whole class. Dara was flabbergasted. When she was in a hurry this morning, she forgot to take the dress out of her school bag so she just temporarily placed it in her locker. But those wicked classmates of hers apparently took it!

Classmate 1: Look what I have here!! It's a ballroom dress straight from the 1960s! <*laughs>

Classmate 2: Eeeewwww, who in the right mind will wear that sh!t in this era! 

Classmate 3: Who else, our resident Dara-ahjumma!! LOLZ!!! 

Dara: Hey, give it back! zz-num-31.gif 

Dara tried to grab the dress but it was being tossed from one person to another. The whole class was enjoying the entire commotion while Dara is helplessly trying to catch the dress. She can't afford to buy a new one, she even spent her last salary to buy it and she's not that shameless to ask GD for extra money.

The dress was finally passed to her guy classmate who wore the dress in an attempt to humor the rest of the class.


Dara's eyes grew wide as she watched the fabric tear apart. The laughter in the room grew even louder. It seems like a lot of blood rushed thru her head and she can feel her pulsating temple. Without a word, she ran towards the guy who is still wearing her dress and pushed him. The guy, unprepared for her attack, lost his balance and stumbled on the floor. He immediately stood up and was making his way towards Dara while the whole class cheers for him. Dara took a few steps back, she knew her strength is no match for a guy, dear heavens!

Her guy classmate took one final step and was about to slap her. It's as if everything is happening in slow motion. She can clearly see the impending slap but it's too late to dodge it. She can hear the shouts of her classmates but her heartbeat is more audible than all of the noises combined. Dara closed her eyes firmly...and waited...and waited...But the slap never came.

She opened her eyes and she realized somebody's hugging her and her face is rested on someone's chest. She looked up and saw the handsome and formidable Lee Jongwan. 

Lee Jongwan was hugging her. Dara looked back to her classmate who is about to slap her and was shocked to see GD holding the guy's arm.

GD: If something happens to Dara, I will make you guys suffer for the rest of your lives.

Lee Jongwan: You better be thankful you were not able to slap her coz I will make sure you get expelled immediately if you did.

The room fell silent as Dara, GD and Lee Jongwan left. 



I am an inch close to committing murder back there!! GRRRRrrr!!! How can they even think of hurting a girl! Those as$holes! I glanced back at Dara-ahjumma to make sure she's okay but she's still busy waving goodbye to her knight in shining armor. Looks like Dara ahjumma has a huge crush on that guy, huh.

"YAH!", I screamed loudly causing her and the other students near us to jump in fright.

"Huh?!", she said while giving me a quizzical look. Patience...patience... I kept telling myself..

"You almost got slapped a while ago, in case you forgot! What's with the happy face?!", I asked while holding on to my last strand of patience. She really can drive people nuts! 

"Oh that! Kekekekeke, just look at the bright side! Lee Jongwan-sshi hugged me!", she said and got lost in her dreamland. Look at the bright side??? Is she fcking serious?! Oh goodness, yeah, she most certainly is. zz-num-22.gif 

I stopped walking, grabbed her by the arm and pulled her to face me. We were in front of my car at the parking lot and it's almost deserted. I pulled down my mask and looked her straight in the eyes.

"Dara-ahjumma, that kind of bullying is intolerable. What could've happened if I weren't there?", I said.

"ERrrmm, well I'll somehow manage to punch him...", she said as I slammed my fist on the car. She jumped in surprise and stupidly nursed the spot where I slammed it to make sure there are no dents. I massaged my neck in frustration.

She was looking at me innocently and I can't help but poke her in the forehead.

"If that kind of scene happens again, remember to run and ask for help. Or call me.", I said and gave her the mobile phone I purchased for her. 

Dara was still bouncing with joy because of her new phone while I start the car.


We were at the kitchen eating dinner when the catastrophe happened. Dara gave me my mobile phone since I left it in the bedroom. TOP hyung is calling me. 

"Yeoboseyo (hello)", I answered while grabbing the glass of water in front of me.

"Jiyong, we're on our way to your apartment!", hyung said enthusiastically.

I almost spit the water on Dara's face! The Big Bang members are on their way to my apartment????! Holy CRAPPPP!!!!!!!!!zz-num-20.gif 

I don't even want to imagine the fiasco that's waiting to happen once Big Bang members know that I have a girl roommate!! OTOKAE (What should I do)?!!!

"We were actually about to go to a bar but it looks like you're hiding something from us so I wanted to see for myself!", TOP hyung said teasingly. What the hell does he mean by that? He must've sensed my confusion because he offered the explanation even without me asking.

"I called your landline phone a while ago and a girl answered but immeditely hang up. You sly ba$tard! Are you hiding a girl in your apartment?!", he said.

Did he just say a girl answered my landline phone???? I slowly turned my head towards the guilty culprit sitting at my right side. Dara was staring at me while chowing down one WHOLE kimbap with determination in her eyes. I can even hear her mind saying, "I WILL FINISH THIS KIMBAP BEFORE I DIE".

I am so gonna kill you, you stupid Korean! zz-num-31.gif 



No words can describe the chaos that unfold afterwards! As soon as I hang up the phone, Dara and I both gulped down a whole glass of water and mobilize 'Operation Hide Dara'. We both ran to the bedroom and almost got stuck by the door since both of us entered the room at the same time. She grabbed all her things and stuff it inside the far side of the closet while I cleared up the desk and fix the bed to make sure that it looks like only one person is sleeping there. Those freaking bed barricades of Dara-ahjumma took forever to demolish!!! ARGGHHHH!!!

I went back to the kitchen and almost threw the used plates and glasses out of the window! I realized there's this thing called dishwasher and I just threw them inside. I heard some crashing sound as I did this. Hell, I don't care if they're broken, this is a fcking EMERGENCY!!!

Okay, what else am I missing?? DARA! Where the hell is that retarded creature. I went back to the bedroom but there's no trace of her. I was about to go to the bathroom when I heard someone breathing.....INSIDE THE CLOSET!!!! Oh my GAHHHDDD!!!!! I'm about to have a heart attack here! I opened the closet and saw Dara standing behind my clothes! What a complete moron!!! zz-num-23.gif 

"YAH!!! What are you doing there???!!!", I yelled. Is she seriously trying to kill me? My heart is about to stop due to nervousness and here she is being all stupid!

"I'm hiding!", she whispered matter-of-factly as if that's the most natural thing to do instead of....I dunno...LEAVING THE APARTMENT SO THAT NO ONE WILL SEE HER!

"Are you INSANE?! What if they stay here for a long time? You should immediately leave the apartment! I'll just call you in your mobile phone once they're gone!", I said in gritted teeth. Someone please smack some senses at her head!!! ARGGHH!!!

"Oh, that's a better plan!", she said as she stepped out of the closet. She stuffed her mobile phone in her bag and was about to go when someone rang the doorbell. OH MY GOSHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! TOP Hyung is really shrewd, he must've called me when they're already parking the car so that I won't have enough time to hide the 'girl that answered the landline phone'.

"OH HYUNGGGG!!!! What are you doing insiiiiidddeee!!", I recognized Seungri's voice calling me out. Gahd, I hated his voice more than ever!

Dara and I stared at each other with disbelief! WHAT THE HELL SHOULD WE DO!!!! The doorbell rang again! In complete panic, I ran and hid in the bathroom while Dara ran back to the closet! Hell, why am I hiding too??!! 

I went out of the bathroom and opened the closet.

"Hide in the bathroom instead and lock the door. Don't make a sound, I'll just invite them to go to a bar. I'll send you a message once it's safe for you to get out. Okay?", I said while trying to calm myself. She nodded and went to the bathroom. I asked her to stand at the bathtub and hide behind the shower curtain. I locked the bathroom and went to open the main door.

My goodness, what have I done to deserve this kind of life???!!!



"LET'S GO TO THE BAR!!", Jiyong screamed at my surprised face as soon as he opened the door. Can he be anymore obvious? 

Hmmmmmm....Something definitely smells fishy in here. 

I looked at Jiyong who seems to be out of breath. I am so gonna enjoy this kekekekekeke. Looks like Kwon Leader has gotten himself into something. I won't leave this place until he spit it all out! We will be able to catch him red-handed and we'll be able to blackmail him for the rest of his life!

"What took you so long to open the door?", Youngbae asked. 

"Huh? ERmm.. I was..eating dinner...Let's go to the bar.", Jiyong said. His face is starting to turn pale. This is probably the best day of my life - seeing GD losing his sanity in front of us is PRICELESS!! Priceless, I tell you. zz-num-18.gif 

"Eating dinner, huh.. By yourself?", I asked as I circled around the kitchen while glancing at him constantly. I placed my hand on the table then glanced back at GD, walked a few steps then glanced back at GD, opened the fridge then glanced back at GD. That really irks him a lot, kekkekkekekke. I can tell he is on the verge of punching me straight at the face. 

"Hyung, are you in drugs???!! Is it impossible for me to eat dinner by myself? Can you stop staring at me! I'm alone here in the apartment, okay? Maybe you just talked to the cleaning ahjumma when you called my phone. Or maybe you dialed a wrong number! Haven't you thought of that? What is wrong with you guys??!! Now, CAN WE ALL FCKING GO TO THE FCKING BAR????!!!", Jiyong yelled and grabbed Seungri by the neck. Poor Seungri.

I showed him my mobile phone and pointed out the number and the timestamp when I called him. 

"I just called you 15 minutes ago. And you don't have a cleaning ahjumma Jiyong.", I said while I flashed him my big BIG smile. Jiyong is so cornered! I can tell he is about to faint! I can already imagine him sliding on the floor while his veins start popping one by one and I'll laugh like a villain as I stand in front of his bloody corpse! BWAHAHAHAHHAHA!! Okay, I'm kidding.

For some bizarre reason, Daesung, who doesn't normally lift a finger whenever he's within the vicinity of the kitchen, nonchalantly opened GD's dishwasher.

"Jiyong Hyung, looks like you really have company. There are 2 sets of plates, glasses, spoons and chopsticks in here", Daesung said. BINGO!!!!!

Youngbae, Seungri, Daesung and I looked at each other. Then we glanced at GD who looked as if he swallowed his own balls. What now Jiyong? I would so love to hear your excuse once again. At this point, the four of us can't help but grin as we all try to melt Jiyong with our stares.

"<*gulp> I got hungry and ate dinner twice. Can we PLEASE go to the bar, I'm begging you!!", GD said.

"Jiyong, you really are hiding a girl in here, aren't you? Is she in the bedroom?", I said and abruptly ran to open the bedroom. It was empty, much to my disappointment.

"Hyung, will you stop this nonsense?! Come on, LET'S GO TO THE BAR!", GD said and was about to close the door when I heard someone flushed the toilet in the bathroom. GD looked at us like the entire planet is about to crumble before his eyes.

"My toilet is possessed by evil spirits!!! QUICK!!! LET'S GO TO THE BAR AND GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE!!!!!!", he screamed. Have I mentioned before that this is the BEST day of my life? Gotta mark my calendar. zz-num-29.gif 


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Chapter 54: I read this for the third time and I still crack up like a retard!!! Please post more Daragon fica authornim!!! Your stories are the best!!! Hwaiting!!!
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