MY CELEBRITY ROOMMATE - fanfic by huntress
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Dara took off her shoes, folded her sleeves and assumed a fighting position as she urged TOP hyung to fight. Dara is doing all these weird movements. Remember her infamous 'kung fu'? Well, it's worse than that. I literally want to dig my eyes out because watching her is fcking unbearable.

"Please tell me what she's trying to do", Daesung asked.

"She's trying to morph into a power ranger", was all I managed to say. 

TOP Hyung just stared at Dara stonily while she continues to frighten him with her moves. If Dara was a guy, hyung would've probably punched her face right about now. She's beyond PATHETIC!

TOP Hyung suddenly looked at us.

"Can somebody ask her if she's crazy", he said. Our maknae, Seungri, complied in a snap.

"Are you crazy?", Seungri asked to Dara. I automatically elbowed Seungri at his stomach and was about to beat the hell out of him if Youngbae hadn't stopped me. GRRRRRrr... Damn this day!! This is one of the reasons why I don't want Dara here! I mean I know she's a total retard but man, I'm the ONLY ONE entitled to bully her because...becozzz...because she's my roommate!

"I thought you want to get even with me? C'mon let's fight!," said the girl with tiny arms. Seriously! This ahjumma should stop from moving!!!!

Just an FYI, here's the formula that I came up with in the days that I've spent living with this girl: Dara + mouth moving = causing trouble

"Look here Sandara-sshi, when I said I'll get even with you, beating your a$s is far from my mind," TOP Hyung said. Then...he stepped closer (note: TOO DAMN CLOSE!!) to Dara and whispered something to her ear!!! I immediately tugged the lining of her blouse and pulled Dara backwards in a flash. 

"Hyung, stop this. You dragged this girl here without fully explaining the purpose of this MV shoot. She obviously doesn't want to do this," I said as I turned my head towards DAra. I was surprised with what I saw. I looked back at TOP hyung and he was smirking. I knew that smirk!! That's what he do when he succeeded on doing something that he wants! 

I stared at Dara who has this determined look in her eyes. What the hell did hyung tell her to make Dara this agitated? 

"YAH! Just get out of here, will you? No matter how much the pay is, I'll give it to you if you leave now.", I whispered to Dara who is still shooting death glares to TOP Hyung. I am NOT liking this sudden turn of events!! 

"Jiyong, let me handle this. Getting accepted in the MV and getting the pay is out of the question. This is between me and eyeshadow man", Dara whispered back.

Okay, I am not quite sure what's happening here and I knew it would be perfectly pointless to ask but I am absolutely certain of one thing, if things got out of hand (and I'm sure it will), I am so grabbing Dara and we'll get the hell out of here like our as$ are on fire. This is insane!! What is TOP hyung planning to do??

"On position - TOP, Sandara-sshi", I heard the Director shout.

I dare NOT blink while Dara-ahjumma and TOP hyung faced each other. Hyung took one step closer, all along he never took her eyes off Dara. Hyung took another step and was about to lay his hands on Dara's shoulders....... 037.gif 

"YAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! STOP THIS!! STOPPP!!!!!!!", I heard someone screamed. Apparently, that someone is none other than me. I didn't even realize that words are making their way out of my mouth until YoungBae shook me. Everybody are looking at me again as if I've gone bananas. GAHHDDD, I really am going INSANE!!! Why am I doing this! WHY!!!!! 

I closed my fist tigthly and glared at the people in the room. They are all staring back at me cautiously. They're probably thinking that I'm going to jump on a random dude and beat the living daylights out of him. And believe me when I say I am so close to doing that to TOP Hyung. And what infuriates me is I DON'T KNOW WHY I wanna inflict unimaginable pain to him right now.

"Man, what the HELL is up with you?", TOP Hyung asked. GRRRRRRR!! For the love of all that's holy, somebody please stop me from rupturing his ribs!

"Hyung! You just want to bully her! Look, she's about to cry!", I shouted while pointing at Dara......who is looking back at us with her 'not-about-to-cry' face. DAMN!! She should've just played along and pretended to tear up or something!! Where's that fcking long stick when I need to poke someone's eyes!

"Jiyong, you're a total R-E-T-A-R-D...This is between me and this woman. Are you ready, woman?", TOP Hyung said as she turned his gaze to Dara. I grabbed hyungs shoulders so he'll direct his attention to me instead.

"Between you and her?? There's no BETWEEN you and her!! Come on hyung, stop this! You don't really wanna kiss her, right?!", I insisted.

"And who do I wanna kiss? YOU???!!", he said incredulously. Okay, it's official. I will fcking slice him in half!! 024.gif 

"Jiyong Hyung, let's just get on with this. It's not the first time one of us needs to kiss a girl in the MV, We've done this a couple of times already. Stop acting like a conservative grandpa", Seungri butted in.

Note to self - "Kill Seungri later".

After a couple of minutes of argument, I slumped back to my demented corner - defeated, since Dara-ahjumma herself doesn't have any objections with the MV audition. 

The kissing scene is approaching. I can feel the butterflies in my stomach increasing exponentially. I'm not sure why I'm so anxious but that damn ahjumma looks pretty relaxed. Her face is getting nearer and nearer TOP hyung's face. My breath intakes are getting faster. It feels like my heart is about to explode from my ribcage any moment. 002.gif 

Then suddenly...she grabbed TOP hyung's neck and locked lips with him with 'RAGING' passion that could match those of a predator's intent to catch his prey!! She is intentionally sabotaging the kissing scene! HOLY COW I thought Dara is going to swallow hyung's whole face! Her toungue is everywhere!!! Leaving saliva all over like a dog!! Damn, a dog would've done a better job!! It is so revolting to watch! As a finale, she bit hyung's lips and stretched it so damn far that when she finally lets go of his lips, it was like a rubber band that made an astonishing 'plock' sound! 037.gif 

I can tell judging from TOP Hyung's face that he has taken a great deal of mental damage from the experience.

Nobody said a word as all people in the room wasn't able to recover quickly from the shock brought by Dara-ahjumma. We were like trapped in a time warp. Everybody's frozen with mouths gaping open and eyes bulging out. Our director is paralyzed in fear. The breeze from the ceiling fan buzzed quietly. The room was so silent that you can hear the comforting noises made by people outside who have not witnessed the out of this world kissing scene orchestrated by the creature called Dara.



As soon as I got back to my senses, I shot out of the room like a cannon. I knew I will get myself in BIG trouble if I go to Jiyong's workplace! Damn that Minho ba$tard! He's the one to blame for this sh!tty situation. 

I knew it!!! There is absolutely no doubt that Jiyong will completely go nuts when he sees me in the YG Building. I can imagine him holding a chainsaw while running after my as$. And now that I've entangled myself with this MV thing and messed with his hyung, that chainsaw will not be an imagination anymore! 

That's why I want to get my out of here as fast as I possibly could. Lee Minho, you better be in front of the YG Building.. 

"YAHHHH!!!! Come back here, woman!!!!!!!", I heard someone screaming. I glanced back and my eyes met the dark glare of eyeshadow man. At that exact moment, my body and mind reached a unanimous decision --> RUNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

"YAH! YAHHH!!", eyeshadow man kept on shouting while running after me. By the way, his face is still covered with some slimy liquid....I'm betting that's my saliva right there, Oh my gawwdd I'm dead!

When I stepped outside of the YG Building, I immediately scanned the premises of any sign of Minho's car. Once I spotted it, I used all my strength to dash towards his car. Minho is leaning nonchalantly at his car while eyeing me curiously, probably thinking "why the hell is she running like a lunatic?". 

"QUICK!! Get IN the car, you dimwit!!", I screamed while catching my breath. Minho raised his eyebrows at me. He did NOT just do that! I am so freaking out here, is he fcking BLIND!!! 

"Tell me what happened first, did you get to ask GD to accompany you at the University Ball? I heard he's a nice guy especially to his fans so you should've...", and all I heard is blah-blah-blah after that. THIS IDIOT!!!!! 007.gif 

I looked back and saw eyeshadow getting nearer, behind him are the other Big Bang members - who probably just wanted to watch the disaster that is about to unfold. I grabbed the car keys from Minho's hand, opened the fcking door and threw him in the fcking driver's seat! I didn't even bother to circle around and go inside the car at the passenger side like any normal human being would do. As soon as Minho was seated (who is still flabbergasted and confused as to how the hell did I manage to shove his as$ on the driver's seat), I jumped inside the car on the same door as Minho and just wiggled myself towards the passenger seat. I closed the door with my foot and kicked him on the stomach while screaming "ddddRRRIIIIIIVVVVVVVVVeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!" at the top of my lungs. 

I'm not in a very gorgeous position, as you might've imagined, since I'm lying horizontally with half of my body on the passenger seat and the other half on top of Minho's lap. BUT I don't give a damn! 

Meanwhile, Minho is just sitting there frozen on his spot while looking at the approaching Big Bang members. 

"Are you running away from them?", he asked. Oh my goodness.... Hello!!!! Me running crazily + them running after me, didn't he figure that out from the start??? He is as clueless as a 4-year-old kid. 

I hastily gave him multiple kicks in the stomach for being stupid, pointed at the road and growled "DRRRRRRRIVVVVVVEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!". For Pete's sake, I'm about to pee due to nervousness!! 

"Minhoooo, you're supposed to be the smart one between us! Please be stupid later!," I pleaded. He started the engine and drove off..BANZAAIIII!! 003.gif 


Back at ground zero, where Dara left a huge commotion:


Seungri: Ugh! Hyung, stop cussing. My ears are bleeding.

TOP: SHEET! SHEET! SHEET!!! Will that do, huh ears?! <*walks towards Seungri and about to pound the maknae to smithereens>

Seungri used Youngbae as a shield, never has he seen TOP this pissed off. Acting cute often does the trick, but it seems not to be working now. Oh well, who wouldn't get mad after that devastating kissing scene. Dara practically stripped TOP off his manly and cool demeanor.

TOP walked towards the still frozen stylist and grabbed some tissues to wipe his face.

GD: So..What are you so angry about? <*crossed his arms and looked directly at TOP>

Daesung, YB, Seungri: OMO! OMO! OMOOOO!!!! 037.gif 

Seungri: Yah, Jiyong hyung! Can you not hear yourself?? Did you NOT see what happened earlier??? <*whispers while accentuating his point with exaggerated hand gestures>

GD: It wasn't that bad...She actually did what she's expected to portray - a girl who has 'never been kissed'. 

TOP: Dude, I thought she's gonna swallow my head! I actually feared for my life back there! DAMN!

Daesung: Hyung, I think she got really angry after you whispered something to Sandara-sshi. What did you tell her?

GD focused on TOP at that moment. He also badly wanted to know what is it that he told Dara-ahjumma for her to react that way.

TOP: Nothing, I just a bit..

All attention is on TOP as he is still slowly wiping the saliva all over his face. A few seconds passed and he's still not spilling anything. A few more seconds and GD's brain is about to explode from impatience.

TOP: I just...

GD, YB, Daesung and Seungri: Uh-huuuhhhhhh?? <*urging TOP to talk>

TOP: ..just..

GD: Oh for heaven's sake spill it out!!

TOP: I just that she might get addicted to my kiss once she experienced it. BUT I was just teasing her! Who would've thought she will turn into a beast when provoked?!

GD's eyes literally bulged out and veins on his neck made an appearance as he started throwing his temper at TOP.

GD: Serves you right, you !! How can you say that to her!!! No wonder she was so agitated!! You're a fcking psycho! 

YoungBae: Alright, alright. Stop it will you? TOP Hyung, you really crossed the line back there. 

TOP: I know, I know..I'm sorry.. But look what she did to me!!

Seungri: Well, you love women right? Then, there you have it.

TOP: Oh yes, I lOOvvvVVeee women. Especially if they look like an ahjumma. <*sarcastic>

GD: Can we stop talking about her?

TOP: Arrgghh!! I swear, we'll meet again!! And I'll get her for that!

GD: I guarantee you, you won't meet her again.

YoungBae: You seem to know Dara quite well...

GD: Dara??? Since when did you two get close?

YB: <*smiles>

GD: Yah! What's the meaning of that smile?

TOP: Anyway, I need to get back at her for what she did!! Never have I been humiliated like that! 

GD: Will you cut it out TOP hyung? Honestly, nobody gives a damn so it up and move on!

TOP: Easy for you to say, you weren't the one who was almost swallowed alive by that man-eating ahjumma!

GD: Oh man! Jeezz!! <*places both his hands in his face due to frustration>

TOP: Aha! We just have to lure her back here in YG!! Hmmm....What do we need to make my marvelous plan happen?

Daesung: Just like what we need to materialize your other marvelous plans. A miracle.

GD took a few steps backward and looked at s. There are a lot of things running through his mind right now. 



In case you're wondering, here's the damage: TOP hyung decided to hunt Dara and make her pay for what she has done; YoungBae was the one chosen by the director to appear on the MV to kiss a random girl since we don't have much time because Dara-ahjumma ran away plus I got a lot of scolding from Yang Hyun Suk hyung since I refused to do the kissing scene.

I am so effing tired!!! I can't wait to go back to the apartment so I can fry Dara's as$!! And who the hell is that guy she was with?? Don't tell me she got into some sh!t again coz mark my word, I am NOT going to help her anymore. Dang, how many times have I told that to myself and never actually complied to it. Afterall, I'm still keeping her as my roommate after two weeks now! 

"Jiyong-ah!", I heard YG hyung's voice slashing its way through my brain.

"Huh?!", I asked. What the hell was he saying again? He's been yammering for 5 minutes straight and I just can't focus. Gahd, here comes the scolding again!! I'll get you for this Dara-ahjumma!

I just smiled sheepishly to YG Hyung as he sighed heavily. I am betting our rehearsal times will be increased exponentially because of this. He was not very pleased with the MV since all of us cannot function after the ruckus caused by that ahjumma girl. Okay, seriously I should stop thinking about her. FOCUS Jiyong!

"I give up. You all look tired. Go home and rest, you don't need to rehearse tomorrow either. Use that time to regroup yourselves and the next day, I expect all of you to perform better than you did today.", YG Hyung said.

I immediately said goodbye and bolted out of the room. I almost forgot my backpack if Youngbae hadn't tossed it to me on my way out. I badly wanted to go home and have a talk with that girl! I must admit I'm a LITTLE BIT worried since I don't know who's that guy that she was with. 

But I'm relieved she didn't get to appear on our MV. She has a personality of a paper clip on my desk. If she decides to enter the entertainment industry, people are gonna eat her ALIVE.

I arrived at the apartment and hastily opened the door. As soon as I got in, I screamed her name angrily. Boy was I infuriated!!!!!! How dare her come to my workplace! I am already taking a lot of risk by letting her stay here, doesn't she know that??! And she even messed with TOP hyung??!!! Even if it's a sabotaged kiss, she's NOT supposed to KISS ANYBODY!!!! Wait, wait, that last part didn't turn out well. What I'm saying is...ARRRGGHHH! Forget it!! She is a dead meat, I tell you!

"DARA-ahjummaaAAAHHHHH!!!!!!! You better come here in the living room when I count to five!", I shouted.


I went to the bedroom and she's not there. I searched the whole apartment and she's nowhere to be found. Where the heck is she? She's doing this again! It's already 10PM and she's still not home?

I sat on the living room and looked at the door. Okay Dara, if you don't open that door after I count to 5, I promise you I will throw you out and will never see you again! 1, 2, 3, 4....fourrr....FOURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrrrr...

Oh fck. What the hell. I sat there looking like an idiot trying to figure out what kind of insanity I got myself into. Ever since I met Dara-ahjumma, things started to get so messed up. But I don't know why I can't bring myself to leave her alone. Maybe any guys will do what I did since she's one clueless girl. I was being sentimental and all as I reminisce the time I met her when I turned my gaze at the bedroom and saw my open laptop. WTF??! What the hell was that wallpaper on my laptop???! 024.gif 

I went to the bedroom and looked at it carefully. I think the picture was taken last night when I was sleeping. The whole photo was predominantly me but there's an odd thing about it. I was lying facedown on the bed and behind me is Dara showing only half of her face (from her nose upwards) with a surprised expression on her eyes. The picture is really amusing! I found myself smiling when I looked at it. Kekekeke, so this is what she's doing whenever I'm unconscious huh? This girl is really ridiculous.

I sighed heavily as I lay on the bed and looked at the ceiling. Having her as my roommate is really INSANE beyond explanation. I just didn't know at the time that it was only the beginning of unexpected twists that will happen in my life.


Unknown to GD, Dara is just a building away from him. She was hiding in Lee Minho's apartment after they drove away from YG Building. Lee Minho is already sore from all the beating she got from Dara ever since they arrived. She was blaming him for all the misfortunes that she had for the day.

Dara: You nosy ba$tard!!! <*WHAPACCKKK - hits Minho on the arms>

Lee Minho: OUUCH!! I was just trying to help, JEeEZ!! You're the one who messed up! 

Dara: Do you really think a celebrity like GD will agree on attending that stupid Univ Ball, huh????!!! 

Lee Minho: Nooooo, duh. So why did you even agree to the bet in the first place?

Dara fell silent. Gahd, she hates it when Minho is right! 

She then remembered the kissing scene with TOP and felt her insides cringe due to embarrassment!! Her FIRST KISS is a TOTAL DISASTER!!! She placed both her hands in her ears and screamed like a madman while shaking her head left and right, trying to erase the memories of this afternoon.

Lee Minho: YAH!! Will you stop it!! The neighbors might think that we're doing the 'deed'!! <*pokes Dara on the shoulder>

Dara abruptly turned to Lee Minho and hit his chest in rapid succession while screaming "your fault, your fault, your FAULLTT!!!"

Lee Minho grabbed both of Dara's arms to stop her since her blows fcking hurts like hell. Dara tried to wiggle free and just like in any possible tv drama that you can think of, they both lost their balance and tumbled on the floor - with Lee Minho on top of Dara. 032.gif 


har har har har har!!!!!!!!! i dunno what to say. i'm going crazy right now


*flying kiss to y'all.


this update is dedicated to Sivsema since she's been bugging me to update. Hope you enjoy this one. :)

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Ardya1815 #1
Chapter 53: Thank u authornim for this story,,, i just finish all and i am thinking YOUR STORY SUPER DEABAK!!!!!!! I love u authornim.... Thank u to share with us ????? and im sorry i just write comment now. I just to absorb to ur story..... I hope u always healthy and happy
Yeng21 #2
Chapter 44: JJANG!!! This is jjang authornim!!!
Yeng21 #3
Chapter 26: Top just said he like her, its sure obvious that minho like her too and Ji, oh my gosh!! you love her and you just don't know it yet you creep!!!! Yow Dara ahjumma u surely a goddess
Chapter 54: I read this for the third time and I still crack up like a retard!!! Please post more Daragon fica authornim!!! Your stories are the best!!! Hwaiting!!!
lenmadulid #5
Jaslynn #6
Chapter 47: HAHa Ahjumma Dara strikes again Big Bangers ^///^ no matter how many times i reread this I still crack up
Chapter 14: This chapter OMG!! Hilarious... Awesome... That car scene... My stomach is paining by laughing so hard. Thank you authornim. You are awesome..
Chapter 38: Hahhahahahha.. Oppa really corrupted Dara unnies mind.. hahhahaahha
Chapter 35: Poor Jiyong oppa..
Chapter 33: This chapter is so hot.. kekekkekekeke