‘Don’t exaggerate too much,’ Jongin said while whipping his mouth with hand but his words were ignored.

‘You should all of us call oppa since you are younger than Jongin,’ Lay added and bit lips together which made his adorable dimples appear.
Goosebumps run down my spine.

‘Wha-‘ I wanted to say something but Jongin interrupted me to which I was thankful deep inside. ‘Who wants more beer?’ and not waiting for answer he proceeded to the kitchen.

‘So what is this long story?’ I changed the subject quickly.

‘It’s about how our twelve met,’ Lay started however didn’t have a chance to finish.

‘Wah, you really are something. You always blabber out all of our secrets and stories,’ Kris complained making everyone laugh.

Their laughing faces really amazed me. Kris’s still handsome, showing his white, straight teeth. Sehun’s adorable, with disappearing eyes to the point where you were not able to see them. Lay’s cute, with lovely dimples. And Luhan’s heartwarming, with sparkling eyes which were really shining just like diamonds. I couldn’t take my eyes of him. He looked so loveable. And his personality was sweet and caring. Why isn’t he my husband, run through my mind. I blushed a little to this thought and quickly chased it away to not start imagining things.

Come to think of it, all of them are such nice, open and friendly people that I’m amazed they are friends with someone like Jongin.

‘But it’s true,’ Luhan said still with a big smile on his lips. ‘He even told everyone that episode when Tao called Xiumin oppa,’ he added to everyone’s amusement.

‘What are you laughing at?’ Jongin asked, putting new six pack of beer on the table.

‘Luhan just mentioned this one time when Tao first time arrived to Korea and didn’t know Korean well. And he wanted to say hi to Xiumin, so he went over to him and said hello, oppa,’ Lay imitated Tao, making everyone laugh even harder.

Somehow, among these happy sounds we all were making someone’s laugh caught my attention and my eyes widened in surprise knowing that it belonged to Jongin. I couldn’t believe what I saw. Kim Jongin is laughing. And it’s not fake laugh or this little chuckle he sometimes show to his parents or investors. He is laughing wholeheartedly, sincerely, out loud. It’s my first time seeing him laugh and it really was quite a view. Stunning smile, showing all his teeth, twinkly eyes, adorably slightly wrinkled nose. It’s my first time hearing his laugh. He looked so attractive. Like the man you would like to cuddle with while watching romantic comedy. Whom you would like to marry. Who would be a good father and take a good care of the children. Who would take a good care of you. With whom you would feel safe. Who would make you feel safe and protected in his arms.

I smiled unwillingly.

I’m falling for you, Kim Jongin. What are you going to do about it? No, what am I going to do about it.

Maybe he is one of those who have split personality and this is the person they, his friends know, Kai. And I know his other side, named Kim Jongin. If yes, then I beg you, Kai, never become Kim Jongin again in front of me.

***

Normally I’m not that talkative but the atmosphere that Jongin’s friends created made me relax and comfortable and somehow Luhan’s company gave me some confidence. It’s a boy that can open up your heart in a second. After that day things were going smooth between us. Well, I mean, we haven’t been fighting. And for the very first time he was home on time. Six o‘clock exactly.

‘You came home early today, ‘ I said as I watched him taking off his shoes. He looked at me and mumbled ‘yeah’ as an answer. ‘Will you eat something?’ He passed by me and when I turned around I saw, to my surprise, that he wasn’t heading to his bedroom but to the kitchen. Is he for real? I couldn’t believe it.

‘I made pancakes. Will that do?’ I received a nodded yes while he poured himself a glass of juice and sat at the table. ‘I haven’t stayed long in America but in o-… ‘ I was about to say ‘orphanage’ but I immediately slapped myself mentally. ‘But in our home mom used to make me those American pancakes for breakfast when I was little,’ I finished quickly not making him even a bit suspicious. Why did I even started to confess to him these things?  ‘They are really delicious with maple syrup. I hope you like it,’ I said as I putted a plate in front of him.

‘Aren’t you going to eat?’ he asked because I was still standing. My heart skipped a bit. Does this mean I’m not going to eat alone today?
I sat across and took one pancake on my plate. Sitting at the table with someone already felt great. And having a meal at the same time was something I wished to happen for the past few weeks.

I didn’t got to see Jongin often and when I did he always got this emotionless mask on his face. But not today. Today was different. Something was off. He looked… sad.

‘Is something wrong?’ I found courage and asked. ‘Is something bothering you?’

He remained silent. Even though I knew it was only few seconds, it felt like long minutes passed before he looked at me. His piercing cold eyes were now dark and empty like he was somewhere else, in faraway place, that no one has access to.

Will he brush me off with his ‘it’s none of your business’ or simply say nothing?

He looked down at his plate again and stuffed his mouth with portion of pancake.

‘Um-my… dad… felt bad today… and went to hospital… But everything is good now. They did the checkups and let him go,’ he finally answered, yet it took a while before he finished his statement.

Jongin’s confession brought silence between us. I didn’t know what to do. At the same time I felt happy that he decided to open his heart to me, it was like we are getting closer to each other, and bad because of his dad’s condition. I wanted to comfort him so badly but didn’t know the way. Would words do? If yes, what should I say?

‘So, my mom asked to step by tomorrow. The two of us,’ he added.

I saw him moving from the table and without second thoughts I also quickly stood up and grabbed the back of his shirt with my fingers. He stopped but didn’t turn around. ‘Don’t be too sad. I’m sure your dad wouldn’t like it and it will break his heart to see you like that. He will be okay. Mr. Kim is strong man. Not the one to be easily defeated. And if you need something… just remember… that… I’m… here… for you,’ I jabbered, not exactly knowing what I am saying. He said nothing so I let go his shirt. It was so quiet that I could hear my words over and over again echoing in my head. I blushed a little and felt hot hearing the last sentence. Did I just… confess to him?
Jongin looked at the floor. ‘Pancakes… were tasty.’

I don’t think I can describe how happy I was thanks to these three words.

Jongin’s POV

What is this weird feeling? I really don’t know.

I sat on the bed and took a few deep breaths to calm down. I hope I’m not sick or anything.
 

‘if you need something… just remember… that… I’m… here… for you’

Ba-thump.

Aish, why she said that?! I questioned myself as I lied on the bed spreading arms widely. Suddenly I remembered her sorrowful face that night and sad smile she gave me, when she opened her eyes. Tao’s words run through my head once again.

This was working out pretty well, so maybe I really should use her as much as I can and divorce.

Your POV

'We need to talk,' he said.

We don’t have much opportunities to talk and hearing these words made me anxious. We visited his parents two days ago and now he looked like always. He wasn’t sad. So it was nothing connected to his dad. Then what is the thing? Usually these words don’t bode well. And this was one of these times.

He sat on the sofa and motioned with his head that I should do the same.

'I have a proposition for you. I thought about it for quite a time now and I think it’s a good solution for both of us, so let’s make a deal.'

He then put some papers on the table and moved them to me.

'What is this?' I asked confused, looking at the documents up close.

'Our marriage deal we signed before. I added something. Now it says that we will last together for a year. Within this year, as previously, you will try to make everything you can to help me and fulfill all my wishes in matters of my company. And I will make sure you live your life comfortably. After that time we will get divorce. And you should be the one to do that. My parents won’t ever allow me to demand divorce. Actually, my friend gave me that idea and I think it’s not so bad. I mean, since we are both unhappy with this whole marriage thing. So I decided to make it easier for us,' he finished pretty content with his plan.

But I surely wasn’t. I was simply speechless. How come he always do it. Whenever I feel the things are going to be better, that we get along, he then does something that makes me die a little bit inside. I completely forgot about this agreement and now he added clause about divorce.

But I like you.