DONGHAE's POV

"Yah! Donghae! Wake-up, we have schedule at 9!" Someone shouted, but I just covered my face with my soft soft pillow.

"If you dont wake up, I'll call Heechul!"

"Ugh...Hyung, 5 more minutes, okay?" I grumbled.

"No. Get. Up. Now." Aish, Hankyung-hyung's really good with messing up with people's sleep, just because he's an early bird...Reluctantly, I propped myself up with my arm and rubbed my eyes, getting a view of my surroundings, then my eyes caught the sleeping Henry...

"Hyung! Why did you wake me up first?! Shouldn't you wake Mochi first?" I complained.

"That's your job. Now, wake him up and be down in 10 minutes, okay?" He said and left. Being the good dongsaeng that I am, I dragged my feet to Mochi's bunk and shook him lightly first. He was facing the wall so I poked his back,

"Mochi~ wake up," I said, but he just said something in english and turned and placed his arm around my waist, pulling me closer. Aish, this kid...soooo adorable. I just stared at him and suddenly my eyes felt heavy, so I settled beside him and cuddled.

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"Sorry, hyung," I said as I made my way to the one’s fixing our hair.

"Forget it. You two look adorable, by the way," Hankyung-hyung said, finished with his preparations.

"Yeah. You two looked like some bear or something," Zhoumi said beside me, also getting his makup done.

"What are you talking about?" I asked, confused.

"Oh. This," Kyuhyun came from my back and flashed his phone infront of my face where there's a photo of me and Mochi hugging at the bed earlier. I smiled.

"Don't you think ELFs would like it if I post it on our webpage?" Kyu suggested and...it's not a bad idea, actually, since they'll see how close we are to the new members. "And let Hankyung-hyung and Zhoumi cuddle too, so we can take a photo of you," He added and I laughed, the others tagging along. Having that photo...well...it'll be...exciting, doesn't it?

"Whatever, Kyu. Come on, the show's about to start," Hankyung-hyung said and left us in the dressing room.

"Hae-hyung...can I post this photo?" Kyu asked me, suddenly becoming the good maknae. I smiled and nodded.

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The show started and I am having fun. Well, I was, when the MC suddenly asked something.

"So, Donghae, you're really close with your members, right? Especially Eunhyuk-ssi?" She asked.

I looked around, and heard the fans shout, definitely EunHae shippers. Well, I just can't disappoint them, can I?

"Yes, we're really close," I answered with a smile and the shouts, if possible, got louder.

"I heard you guys are a couple, is that true?" She asked again, this time, my smile seemed to falter a bit and I hid behind the back of the person beside me, Mochi. I acted like I whispered something to him, but I just wanted to hide for a few seconds before answering, controlling of whatever's building up in my chest. After 5 seconds, I looked at them, and they were expecting an answer.

"Well, Hyukkie did say I'm his wife, didn't he?" I answered and as soon as I finished that, I bit my tongue. Please don’t ask more questions. Please. The fans were ecstatic from my answer and that's what matters, right? Since we need to act out, might as well get used to it, but I still get that heavy feeling that I swore I won’t feel once I get here.

Come on, Donghae! Move on. You can do it. You're better than that.

Thank god she didn't ask any-Hyukjae related topics and started with a game. Mochi and I never left each other's side even when it's his turn to eat a mouthful of some Chinese food. He stuffed his mouth while I watched him, watching as his chubby cheeks became chubbier. We were laughing, me and the others, and I thought of something...crazy. I walked towards the stuffed Henry and he looked at me with playful eyes, then I placed my lips on his stuffed cheek. I was smiling...evilly...when I looked at Henry's shocked expression and the fans loud screams. 

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"That was superb, hyung!" Kyu patted my back as we made our way into our dorm.

"Thanks," I said with a smile. Everybody seemed to like what I did earlier, even the fans, and according to our fanbase, ELFs seemed to find Mochi cute and adorable and some are even saying, "HENHAE is cute!"

"Oh look, we have a new couple born. HenHae." Wookie commented, reading behind my back and smiled.

"This is so unfair. I also did some skinship with Hae awhile ago, why aren't they commenting about that?" Siwon said, pouting playfully and acting like a kid.

"That's because you do skinship with anyone. Duh," Kyuhyun retorted, and all of us nodded in agreement. Mochi's already sleeping beside Wookie, his head resting on the window. I opened my bottled water and drank.

"I wonder what EunHae fans will say," Hankyung-hyung commented which caused me to choke on my water. I was coughing and Kyuhyun patted my back.

"Oooh, I bet Hyukjae will be jealous," Siwon added but I just stayed silent, wiping my mouth and thanking Kyu silently and leaned my head on his shoulder. Why can’t they just stop talking about Hyukjae for the time were here? Tsk.  I’m trying to move on but they're not helping at all...

That's because they don't know, idiot.

What? So does it mean I have to tell them?

NO! Not to all of them! You can share it to the person you trust the most and ask to help you get away when you’re asked about that monkey.

That does not sound bad...I wonder who I'll tell it too...if ever...I will...hmmm

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"Siwon, Kyu...can I...talk to you?"

The two looked up at me from the sofa. They are currently watching the variety show we did yesterday.

"Sure," Siwon answered.

I scratched my neck, "Um...can we...talk about it in my room?" They gave me a puzzling look.

"I really...really need to talk about it," I said, giving them my puppy eyes. And ofcourse it worked. Kyu switched off the TV and we made our way to my and Mochi's room. Mochi's not here though, he went grocery shopping with Wookie and Zhoumi. As soon as we reached my room, Kyu plopped down in my bed, followed by Siwon, and I took a sit facing them.

"Ok. Spill it," Kyuhyun said, sitting properly this time while I battle with my mind. How am I supposed to start this?

Can I say that I am...gay? Well, I am, right? Atleast that's what I think I am because love my best friend...EX-best friend, who is a guy. But I never really liked or find other guys attractive the way Hyuk is. No other guys really caught my attention the way Hyuk did. And no other guy made my heart race just by smiling at me...the way Hyuk did. So...that only means...I am gay...but only for Hyukkie? Well isn’t that nice? I finally accept my preference but found out a bit later that the only person who made me feel...funny inside it the only person I can’t have...the only person I can’t love. Wow. Fate really is good to me.

"Hae?" I snapped back to reality and made up my mind to be open to these two guys who I can trust. Well, I trust all of my members but this two are next in line to Hyukkie when it comes to the closeness we have.

"I trust you both. That's why I made up my mind to tell you this. I'm telling you this because...I'm really getting tired of hiding this all to myself and it's getting harder and harder every single day and now I decided to tell you because I know for the fact that you two might understand me...or not," I added and smiled at them sadly. Of course I am prepared of what is to come. Be it a positive...or a negative result.

"Hyung..." Kyu said.

"I'm gay."

"Excuse me?" Kyuhyun asked again, not catching what I said. Forcing my face to smile, I repeated.

"I, Lee Donghae, am gay."

Two pairs of eyes stared at me with pure shock on their face. I looked back at them, ready for their insults and shouts.

"Hae"

"Hyung" Kyu and Won said at the same time and they looked at each other then back at me. I fought back a chuckle.

"I'm not done with my sentence. I am gay...but not with everyone..." I slowly said, watching as their face change from shock to curiosity...waiting for me to finish my sentence.

"just...for Hyukjae," I finished and then...a tear escaped my right eye. I didn't even feel myself tear up...it just flowed...followed by another tear and another, then I broke into a sob. Admitting it loudly once again made the scar in my heart that I've been trying to heal bleed again. Why the hell does moving on have to be sooo damn hard? Just then, two sets of arm encircled around me. One hugging me from the back and the other holding my waist.

"Shhh...Hae, don't cry," Siwon said, wiping the tears.

"It's okay Hyung...please...I--I told you I don’t want to see you---like this, right?" Kyu whispered behind me, hiding his face at my neck.

"Are you two---okay---with it?" I said in between sobs, letting myself be comforted by them.

"Did you really think we'll abandon you just because you aren't straight?" Siwon commented and Kyu just nodded.

"I just---I just thought---you'll find it---you'll find me---disgusting---" My voice dropped in a whisper.

That's just disgusting!

...disgusting...

...disgusting...

His voice played in my mind and I can feel fresh tears falling.

"Disgusting? Why would you even think we'll feel that way?" Siwon said.

"Well, he did when I confessed," I answered, smiling a  bit from remembering that this is how I imagined Hyukjae accepting my feelings...turned out that my friends accepted me and he did not.

"He--Hyukjae?" Kyuhyun removed his arms around me and knelt in front of me, holding my hands in his, "You...you confessed? And he told you you're disgusting?" Kyuhyun, being the smarty pants he is, understood everything. I just nodded.

"I'll kill him," Kyu whispered menacingly and I chuckled at his sudden change of tone.

"Well that would be inconvenient," Siwon said, "but we can make life harder for him." He added. Seriously...this two.

I chuckled. "Stop it, you two." They looked at me, with smile on their lips.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing. Hae, I just want you to know that I accept you the way you are. No more, no less. You are Donghae, my close friend, super junior's baby and suju's angel. It was you who cheered us on even if you're tired. It was you who made us smile. It was you who we hugged every time you cry because of winning an award. It was you who I comforted after crying because Nemo got lost---"

"YAH!"

"And it was you who I wanted to protect the most. So don’t ever think that I'll abandon you because of this trivial matter. This is nothing. This doesn't change the fact that you are OUR Donghae," Siwon smiled at me.

"I agree with everything he said," Kyuhyun butted in and I smiled at him.

"You’re not going to give a speech?" I asked.

"Hmm...No, since he already said everything and I am a bit lazy to think of a speech. So I'll just say I accept you, hyung. No matter what you are," Kyu said and also smiled down at me. I stared back at the two smiling guys in front of me.

"Thank you," I said and hugged them both, new tears falling, but this time...it's because of happiness…Happiness from being accepted. Happiness for being understood.

"So---Hyukjae rejected you?" Kyuhyun asked and I just nodded, glad that I can talk to them about this.

"It's alright, we'll help you," Siwon said.

"We'll definitely help you get over that monkey," Kyuhyun finished and the two of them high-fived.

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Kyusihae??? Awww...haha! :D