DONGHAE's POV

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After watching a lot of movies in the living room, and playing tons of games with these people, and after laughing so hard that my stomach hurt, I finally feel my eyes dropping.

"Top, can I sleep in your room?" I asked as I yawned and raised my hand to rub my tired eyes.

I heard chuckles, "Sorry, Hae-ah, but the boys and I are busy with something. Oh! But you can sleep in leader's room, I'm sure he won't mind. Right, Yong?" Seung Hyun inquired, and I looked at GD's direction; he was sending a glare at TOP, and TOP's just smiling teasingly, as well as the other three behind him. They've been doing that a lot lately. Sigh, I guess I really should not have decided to stay here; it is obvious they all have something to do. Stupid Donghae for being a burden again.

"Umm, I think GD's busy too. It's fine; I'll just go home, sorry for---"

"It's okay!" GD's voice boomed all so suddenly that it shocked me. I turned to his direction to see him wide-eyed, perhaps surprised by his loud voice, before he looked at the ground and started playing with the hem of his shirt, "I---I mean, you can---you can sleep in my room," I heard him mumble and I broke into a smile as I grabbed GD by the arm and went straight to his room, ignoring TOP's comment which sounded like "Sleep well, guys! Enjoy! GD, behave!"

"I love your room. It has that---cool feeling," I commented as I sat on his bouncy mattress.

He scoffed, "Really now? Why? What does your room feel like?" He sat on his desk and started arranging the papers scattered on top of it.

"Well, I love my room, really. The walls are painted blue, and everything and you know I have my nemos, right?" I smiled, "Oh! By the way, you should meet Choco and Bada! Those two are the new members of my family! I swear you'd love them! They're so adorable!"

"Choco and Bada? What are they exactly?" He asked, turning to look at me with curious eyes.

"Puppies!" I squealed.

"Cute. Uhmmm, I mean---I bet they're cute. When did you get them?" He spoke so fast I barely understood.

"I didn't! Hyukjae---" My voice turned soft as I mentioned his name. Is he worried about me? Tsk, I hope he is not since I know that he'd come looking for me which I wish he won't. I shook my head; why am I even thinking about him? Ugh, I hate this.

"Hyukjae-hyung what?" GD asked, snapping me out of my thought.

"Oh, haha, he bought the puppies. He gave me Bada, and Choco is his," I explained, trying to sound unaffected.

"He bought it, huh? For you? As a present?" GD's tone changed, and I looked up to see him staring down at a piece of paper, pencil at hand.

"Yeah, you can say that," I answered, laying down on the bed and reaching out for the blue pillow and wrapped it around my eyes. I want to sleep.

"Donghae-hyung?" GD spoke in a soft voice.

"Hmm?"

"What is Hyukjae to you?" he asked, and I was surprised with the question.

“Why are you suddenly asking me that?” I asked, chuckling a bit, trying to sound casual.

“It sounds like---Hyukjae is special to you, isn’t he?” he added.

“Ji Yong, what are you---”

“You like him, don’t you?”

“What?”

“Or, is it better to ask, you love him, don’t you?” he spoke in a very serious voice as he stood up from his place and started walking towards the bed and I sat up, looking at his eyes.

“Ji Yong, what is wrong with you? Are you ill?” I asked as I reached out my arms when he was within reach to give the boy a comfort, but yelped in surprise when he jumped in the bed, straddling me as I was forced to lay down the bed, his hands on either side of my head. I swallowed an invisible lump; what the hell is happening?

“GD?” I spoke softly, seeing that he’s being quiet.

“Hyung,” he whimpered, and that caught my attention, raising my hand and letting it touch GD’s hair which is covering his face, and to my surprise, his eyes are b with tears, and he is biting his lips too hard that it might bleed soon.

“Ji Yong-ah, what’ s wrong? Are you alright?” I asked; worry etching in my voice as I touched his cheek.

“I---I---”

All of a sudden, the door swung open, and I would have ignored it if not for the person standing there.

“What the hell are you doing?!” Hyukjae shouted, face contorted with nothing but anger. I’ve seen this kind of Hyukjae back in the trainee days when he still has that hot-tempered attitude of his, and it scared me to see him like this now. In a flash, GD was pushed away from me and fell on the bed, by a glaring Hyukjae and he grabbed my hand and tried to take me out of the room.

“Hey! Let me go!” I struggled, “What is wrong with you?!” I shouted and ran to GD to help him stand up.

“Are you okay, Yong-ah?” I asked as I placed my hands on both side of his face to see if any damage is done, “Are you hurt somewhere?”

“Lee Donghae! We’re leaving,” Hyukjae hissed, and I turned around to glare at him only to shut my mouth as I saw how cold his eyes are. I do not like this. I don’t like this at all. So, without another word, I gave a small smile to GD and walked out the door, Hyukaje following me. This is between me and him, and the guys aren’t supposed to get affected by something like this. A hand reached out for mine and Hyukjae dragged out of the dorm and got me in his car where he sped away, to wherever he is taking me.

After a long silence, the car finally halted in a deserted park.

Hyukjae went out and I followed him. When I got out his back was facing me, and I can see just from his back view, I know he is shaking with anger. I’ve always hated it when Hyukjae is like this; he doesn’t seem himself at all. He just shouts and throws anything within reach, and I worked so hard to make that attitude of him go away, only for me to see it returning now.

“I told you---” he spoke.

“What?” I said.

“I told you!” he suddenly shouted and turned to look---no, glare at me. I jumped from my place a bit, feeling a bit scared. “I told you not to go outside alone, right?! I clearly told you that, Donghae!”

“You have no right to tell me what to do!” I shouted back, feeling anger well up inside me as well. He is being unreasonable. Why is he angry at something so little? Why does he care?!

“And why don’t I?! Is it because you don’t love me anymore that I lost the right to worry over you?! Is it because you say that we can never happen that I can’t even protect you anymore?! What?! Answer me, damn it!” he shouted, walking towards me.

“I---” I started, feeling my eyes cry that I closed them and looked down. Why is he being like this? I do not like this. No. Please just---

“Why are you being stubborn?! You don’t want to see my face so you go to other person’s dorm, and sleep in their bed?! And then you were in that---that position! Donghae! What the hell do you think you’re doing?! Can’t you see you’re hurting me!” he shouted again, but this time there’s something wrong with his voice that shock me, so I look up only to be proven right.

 Hyukjae’s crying, but he doesn’t seem to notice it yet, since he’s still glaring at me and coming dangerously closer. Our eyes are locked together as I started backing away, until I felt my thighs hit Hyukjae’s car, then all of a sudden he’s in front of me, staring at me in the eyes and his hands trapping me as he placed them in between my body, our faces a few inches apart that I can feel his heavy breathing. His eyes are red, and it hurts to see him like this. It hurts so much.

“Donghae, don’t cry,” he whispered so gently, and I felt hands wiping the unnoticed tears in my eyes.

“Says the one who’s a crybaby,” I whispered back, and brought a hand to his face and also wiped his tears away. We stayed like that for a few moments, not caring that we may look like crazy people wiping each other’s tears. There was just complete silence, and the air felt cold, but Hyukjae’s body is radiating that warmth I was longing for.

“Donghae, listen, okay? I love you,” Hyukjae spoke, “And no matter how many time you push me away, I’ll always find my way back to you. No matter how many times you tell me you don’t love me, I will still do my best to make you say you do. No matter what happens, I will still and forever love you,” he whispered, staring deeply into my eyes.

“Hyukjae, I---” I spoke, but was silenced when my lips was met with a pair of plump ones, and by instinct, my eyes closed, and my arms found their way around Hyukjae’s neck, my fingers slightly playing with his hair, and I can feel his arms circling around my waist, bringing me closer.

When we pulled apart, completely out of breath, he kissed my forehead and rested his on it, “You know, you’re a bad liar. I told you that before, didn’t I?” he still spoke in a whisper.

“Huh?” I responded, still feeling light headed, as the arms around me are the ones supporting me in a standing position.

“Do you really think I won’t notice that you don’t mean it when you told me you don’t love me? Did you really think I wouldn’t know, you fishy?” he said, and chuckled at the same time.

So, he knew? From the very start? So why is he---

“Look, I know you’re scared, and believe me, I was pretty damn afraid myself. I thought of our career, the fans, the team, I had those thoughts too, you know, but just the thought of not being able to tell you how I feel, to make you feel how much important to me, to not be able to hug you like this, or kiss you just like what we did, it was enough reason for me to stop of other people, it was enough reason to go and capture you and lock you up in my heart, it is enough reason to take risk, because I’d rather lose everything I worked hard for, than lose the person who mean the world to me,” he ended and there were tears in my eyes.

“Idiot, I told you to stop crying,” he chuckled and his warm hand wiped my face gently.

“I---Hyukkie,” I whispered, not knowing what to say.

“Shhh, it’s okay, it’s okay, I understand,” he said sweetly, wrapping me securely in his arms, and I let the tears soak the his shirt and wept, I wept for everything that caused me pain, for everything that happened, and I wept for the happiness in my heart; that happiness I never thought I would feel.

When I finally calmed down, I chuckled in Hyukjae’s embrace.

“What’s so funny?” he asked, as he tighten his hold on me, and I did the same.

“Was I so obvious?” I asked, going back to my usual self. There is no helping it. Why did I ever think I could stop this, anyway?

“Huh?” he was the one who sounded confused now, so gently I pulled away from the hug, but not completely detached myself from him; his arms are still around my waist, and my arms around his neck, I looked up at his bewildered eyes as I sent him a sweet smile and said,

“I love you, Hyukkie,” before closing that small gap and feeling his lips once again.

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