DONGHAE's POV

"...JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!"

I opened my eyes, gasping for air as I remembered what happened last night. My heart aching as soon as I realized the fight I had wiht Hyukkie. I let my emotions take over me yesterday and said things I shouldn't. How nice...Donghae, really nice. Good job keeping your feelings. I scolded myself. Wait...the bed shifted. It was only then that I realized I was in Heechul-hyung's embrace. What am I doing here? He's still sleeping, though. I was shocked but I can't afford to wake him up, so I just wrapped my arms around him too and leaned my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat.

How I wish he's Hyukkie.

His arms tightened around me and it's getting hard to breath.

"Hee--Heechul-hyung," I whispered, trying to wake him, but his arms are crushing me. I patted his back, finding it hard to breath now so I pounded his back. "Hyung!" I shouted and he released me.

"Wha--What?" He said, with his eyes still closed. I bit back a laughter, then he rubbed his eyes and finally saw me.

"Oh, morning Hae~" he greeted me.

"Morning," I greeted him back.

"What time is it?" He asked and I answered, 6:30am.

"It's too early! Why did you wake me up?" He complained going back to bed.

"Sorry about that, you were crushing me and I can't breathe, " I answered back.

He yawned, "Sorry. Come on, let's sleep some more," He opened his arms, inviting me and I really wanted to sleep some more so I crawled back to the bed and he wrapped me in his arms, but I don't want to dream about last night. It...it hurts.

"Are you okay, Hae?" Heechul hyung suddenly said, making me look up at him, but he's got his eyes closed. "I ca feel that you're tensed, you know."

"Its...nothing. I just had a nightmare and I'm afraid I might have it again," I answered and rested my head on his chest, once again.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked. 

"No, hyung. I'm fine. Go to sleep," I said and after a few seconds, I can hear him sore and I allowed myself to sleep some more too.

When I woke up the second time today, Heechul-hyung was no longer beside me and I am covered with a blanket. I saw a note from Hee-hyung.

My Favorite Dongsaeng,

Sorry hyung didn't wake you up. SuJu-T had schedule so I had to leave. When I come back, we can talk about that nightmare of yours. Look after Heebum for a while.

xoxo. Heenim

Really, Heechul-hyung never failed to surprise me with his sudden kind-acts or the way he tried to be kind but end up being the diva he is. I got out of bed and found Kyu, and Wookie discussing something with Hankyung-hyung and manager-hyung.

"Oh, Donghae, glad you're awake. Sit." Manager-hyung said so I plopped down next to Kyu.

"What's up?" I asked.

"We'll be forming another sub-group. Suju-M," Hankyung-hyung informed me.

"Who'll be in it?"

"You, Hankyung-hyung, Kyu, Wookie, Siwon and 2 other guys," manager-hyung answered.

"Well, when can we meet the new guys?" Kyuhyun asked.

"You'll meet them as soon as you go there," he simpley answered.

"Go where?"

"China."

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China? We'll be leaving for China after two days and stay there for 2-3 months. Me in China and Hyukkie...here...in Seoul. ANd we're still in a fight. How can I leave like this? Manager-hyung decided not to inform the other guys, atleast after we landed in China for the reason that he doesn't want them to cancel their schedules just to send us off, because knowing our bond, manager-hyung was sure that that's exactly what the other's will do. So, Hankyung-hyung just decided to have a party the night before leaving without telling them the reason, and for sure, they'll they agree happily, but us, the members who'll leave,  will feel heavy for leaving them without a proper goodbye. It's not that we're not coming back, but we wont be around for too long. Sighing, I just switched on the television and Super Junior T School of Rock was on. Is this what their filming right now? It's live.

I am the only one here, since Kyu is playing with his laptop, Wookie is in the kitchen and Hankyung-hyung and manager-hyung are discussing stuff regarding our departure, so I am left alone, watching. The show was funny considering the fact that Boom-hyung was the MC and Heechul-hyung giving comments, I was laughing and admiring Hyukkie who's also laughing when Boom-hyung asked something that made my hear skip a beat.

BOOM : When you debuted, Donghae and you were set to be a same couple. How is it? Donghae is not in Super Junior T. How is it?

I noted that Hyukkie just flashed his gummy smile, but I can tell that it's strained. So he hasn't forgiven me yet, huh? I waited for his answer.

EUNHYUK : First of all my relationship with Donghae is...we don't see each other as friends. We see each other's as colleagues. He is really annoying.

So that's how he sees me, now? A colleague? I scoffed and tried to smile to fight back the tears. I'm suppose to laugh. He was obviously joking. But why does it feel like he isn't? Did he really mean it? He did, didn't he? Tsk. I bit my lip and just turned off the TV and went to my room, I throw myself to the bed, and hugged my pillow tight, finally allowing the tears to flow.

KNOCK.KNOCK

"Donghae-hyung, dinner's ready," I heard Wookie's voice outside of my door. "Teukkie hyung and the others are here as well, and Heechul-hyung is looking for you," he added.

They're back. That means...he's also here. I don't think I can face him, but not doing so would be suspicious now, right? Tsk. SInce when did Donghae become coward? I got up and checked myself in the mirror and my eyes are puffy red, so I washed my face to lessen it and applied some moisturizer. After convincing myself that I am okay, I finally got out and went straight to the kitchen where everyone's already starting the meal, and soon as I got in, I met Hyukkie's gaze but he looked at me almost as quickly as our eyes met and I noticed that the only seat available is beside him, where I usually sit, but right now, I really don't want to sit beside him. Walking towards him, someone grabbed my hand and I stumbled back.

"Hae, sit with me," Heechul-hyung suddenly made me sat in his lap and the others smiled at our...awkward position and the other's teased us that we looked like a mother-and-son. I smiled back at Heechul-hyung, and mentally thanked him for making me sit beside him. We ate dinner while telling stories, and I noticed Wookie and Kyu sharing glances and unusually quiet, they're making it obvious that something's wrong. So, I kicked Kyu's leg under the table, since he's sitting right infront of me. He looked at me and I just smiled and shooked my head, and I know he understood sinc after that, he teased Eeteuk-hyung which cause everyone to laugh.

"Guys, what do you say of having a party?" Hankyung-hyung suddenly earning him confused glances from the other members, except for me, Kyu and Wookie. Then, Heechul-hyung whispered in my ear.

"I know you're leaving for China," and I looked at him, shock clearly written on my face but he brought up his finger to his lips and told me to keep quiet before he stood up, "Hell yeah! Let's go!" I didn't miss the eye-contact of Heechul-hyung and Hankyung-hyung just as the members talked excitedly about the party, teasing Hankyung-hyung that this is the first time they're treating them so they should pick an expensive place.

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Tomorrow, we'll be leaving. Damn it. I am acting like I'm not coming back! Why am I getting too upset?! It's just for 2-3 months! It's not like you'll die without them...him...aish!

Last night, Hyukkie have been avoiding my eyes and I am trying too, believe me...it's just...it's hard. I still feel angry with his statement earlier about us just being colleagues, but I really want to ask if he meant it or not because it's really hurting me, thinking of the possibility that he meant it. Tonight at the party...I will talk to him and we'll be good friends again...JUST, friends,

Sigh. I've been sighing a lot these days. Anyway, I should be content that I get to stay beside Hyuk as his bestfriend. That's enough. I shouldn't be greedy.

That night, the party took place. Hankyung-hyung rented a bar, Heechul-hyung's choice, ofcourse. Everybody's having fun, even I am having fun, drinking a bit of what Kyuhyun's giving me. I tasted it for a bit at first.

"What is this thing?" I asked, it tastes...good.

"Pina colada, it's nice right?" He answered, shouting a little since the music's a bit loud. Pina? Pineapple? Oh, it's a juice!

"It's good, Kyu! Thank you for the juice!" I said, gulping it in one go and walked towards the crowd, not finishing what Kyu's about to say.

"Hyung! That's not---!"

I walked towards the counter and ordered for another...what's it called again? Co--Choco? Hmm...No, that's Hyukkie's dog. Speaking of Hyukkie, where is he?

"Mister! Another Pineapple juice!" I called out and handed me a glass, I drank it but it tasted different.

"No! The other one! Here, smell it! Like this!" I let the bartender smell the glass I was holding and he knew right away. I watched him mix drinks and gave me the one I wanted.

"Thanks!" I said and drinking it again in one go.

My vision started to blur...my surroundings are slightly spinning...I lost count of how many pineapple juice I drank but I really want more...I feel soo...relaxed. I've never felt so relax in my life. I was about to drink my next glass when a hand stopped me. I looked up and smiled at the person.

"Kangin-hyung! Hi!" I greeted him and waved at his face, and I giggled.

"What the hell, Fishy? Are you drunk?" He asked, getting my glass and setting it at the counter.

"Drunk? No! I am not! I don't drink alcohol, hyung!" I said and shaking my head really fast, and ended up getting more dizzy.

"Yeah right. What have you been drinking anyway?"

"Its just pineapple juice!" I defended myself, handing him the glass and he sniffed it.

"Juice my . This is Pina Colada, Fishy!" He said.

"Exactly! Pineapple Juice!" I said, and I laughed at his dumb expression.

"Who gave you this, anyway?"

"Hmm? Ahmmm...Ah! Kyuhyunnie!" I answered, looking around for my maknae.

"Tsk. I'm gonna kill that kid," kangin-hyung muttered. "Let's go. You need fresh air. We'll go to the rooftop," He said and placed my arm around his shoulder and started to drag me.

"Oooh! Are there fishes there?!" I asked, excited at the thought.

He snickered, "The only fish I see is you and you are one drunk fish!" He joked.

"There won't be fishy? I won't see fishes? I want to find nemo!!!" I struggled out of his hold but being the strong men, he didn't even budge but just laughed at my fail attempt.

"Sure.Sure, we'll find Nemo. I'll be Dory, how's that?" he tagged along. But I thought hard.

"Ahm...Hyung, you don't fit Dory...Oh! But you can be the whale---oh, no...that should be Shindong-hyung. Ah! You can be the blow fish!" I said, laughing as I pictures a blowfish with Kangin-hyung's face. He laughed along with me and we finally reached the rooftop.

"Wait here, I will get you some ice water," He said as he made me sat down at the bench. The air felt nice and I feel a bit sleepy already, but I don't want to sleep yet...I felt bad in my stomach and I ran at the edge of the railing and puked. Damn it! My head is starting to really hurt...but after puking, I felt a bit better, I guess? Ugh...I still feel a bit sick.

"Fishy, here's the water. What are you doing there?" Kangin-hyung came back and handed me the water which I gulped in one go, again. But I felt the cold water run through my throat and I felt much better.

"You really have low alcohol tolerance," hyung commented.

"I didn't even know what I was drinking," I said, massaging my temples and sat back down at the bench.

"I'll go inside now. Stay here and take a breathe, okay? And I'll handle Kyu," he said before closing the door. I smiled. How I love my hyungs. I leaned back, closed my eyes and took a deep breath as I heard the door open again.

"Hyung? You handled Kyuhyunnie that fast?" I said, without opening my eyes.

"Donghae," I heard the person speak, then my eyes flew open and I looked at the door.

"Hyukjae," I said as he walk towards me, and I am very much aware that my heart is beating like crazy. Again.

"I heard you were drunk. Are you okay, now?" He asked, sitting beside me, I just nodded, Not meeting his eyes.

"Hae," he whispered, and damn how I missed his voice. The way he calls my name with kindness, and if possible, with love.

"Hae, we need to talk," he said.

Here it goes...

"Yes. Yes we do need to talk," I whispered.

"I just...I wanted to apologize for...shouting at you back then," Hyuk started. I can never stay mad at him, can't I?

"It's okay. I apologize too, for my...words," I said and clenched my fists.

"I forgive you. You know I can't stay mad at you for too long," He answered, flashing me that smile...that smile...that smile that I missed badly. I smiled back at him and I don't know why...but...I started leaning in...my body won't listen to my brain! It's moving on its own...my feelings...they're...it's overpowering my brain! I can't stop! Just as our lips is an inch apart, he pushed me back gently...and I...I just snapped...I can't take it anymore...

"Hae, what's wrong?" He asked.

"H--Hyukkie, I--I'm sorry...It's my fault...I know it--its wrong but I---" I stuttered, tears starting to form in my eyes.

"Donghae, I said I forgive you, right?" He just answered back.

"No! Hyukkie! Listen to me...this---this is different! I---I'm so sorry! I know I shouldn't habe..but...but I can't stop myself..Hyuk---I just---" I said, now the tears falling non-stop.

"Shh..." He shushed me, cupping my eyes, and wiping my tears with his thumb, he looked at my eyes and I looked back...I don't know what I'm doing...but all I know is that...I can't hide it an longer...not to him...

"Tell me what it is, Hae? DOn't cry. Tell me..." he said with that gentle voice...not letting go of his face.

"Hyuk..I---I'm in love with you," I said.

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Yay! Another update! If I didn't have class tomorrow, I would still continue! Aish... :I

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