DONGHAE’s POV

(REPOST)

“Hyukjae, I completely understand. I just…I don’t want to run away again, especially not from you. I just want everything to be back the way they used to be, Me being Hae, you being Hyukkie, and us being best friends, being EunHae that the fans love. Let’s just let things be like that, forget I ever confessed to you, okay?”

My words kept on playing in my mind the whole day. Why did I say that, you might ask? It’s because I think…I think it is the best way to solve everything, to not drag anyone else into the mess I put myself into. I got myself into this, so I should be the only one suffering. Smiling bitterly, I walked out of the dorm, not bothering to look back since the members are all asleep, anyway. I just needed some air to get things out of my head.

The wind was a bit chilly as soon as I stepped out of the door. Grabbing a cap and a jacket, I proceeded to the park just a few blocks away, kicking rocks along the way. It is a good thing that there are only a few people wandering around the street at this time and they didn’t even bother looking at me since I am practically looking down, not taking the risk of getting notice. If one of my members knew that I went out alone just after recovering from illness, they will surely scold me till my ears bleed, especially Heechul-hyung, I chuckled at the thought. The park was deserted when I reached it, I walked towards the swing and sat down, swinging it a little bit, letting the air caress my face. Just then, a memory came rushing in…

“We’re finally debuting, Hae!” Hyukkie said for the nth time while we’re sitting at the swing.

A little while ago, our company finally announced that we’ll be debuting together with 10 other trainees in which I am close with. At last, after a long time of working hard, we’re finally taking a big step towards our dream; we’ll finally be known and be loved by people. Seems only yesterday when I first stepped in SM building, getting anxious about the atmosphere but it dissolved as fast as it arise since I got to know Hyukjae and the others, they made my stay worthwhile. And now, we’re debuting together, Me and my bestfriend, in one group, one team, one family. Everything is just perfect.

“I know, Hyuk. I can’t believe we actually are,” I replied, smiling.

“You know, I always knew you and I would debut together,” he said.

“Hmm? Why?”

“Duuuh, we’re best friends, we’re a package deal, of course we need to be together in one team,” he simply answered.

“Well, duuuh, it is not something you get to decide,” I rebutted but I was very happy hearing those words from him.

“They have too, even if they don’t want to. I won’t allow being apart from you,” he answered back with a serious voice that made me look at him and found out he’s also looking. Our gazes locked for a few seconds before we finally laughed like crazy people.

“That---that just---that just sounds so wrong!” I howled in laughter, clutching my stomach and wiping the tears at the corner of my eyes.

“Ahaha! I know! That was sooo funny!” Hyukkie answered, calming down.

“But seriously, Hae, we need to promise, even after debuting, nothing will change between us. We’ll be best buddies forever,” he said, standing up and walked towards my direction, offering his hand to help me stand. I stared at him and he gave me that gummy smile.

I took his hand and smiled back, “forever.”

Remembering that promise we had just solidifies my resolution more to get back my previous relationship with Hyukjae, to be his best friend again, and this time it will…it must last forever. Being best friends is the best option now if I don’t want to be completely ruined in the end; it is far off better this way. I checked the time and it’s already half past twelve, so I decided it is time to go back and take a rest.

+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+

Working is helping me get rid of things that I’m not supposed to worry. It is keeping me away from things that will make me depressed. Right now, we’re shooting for the music video for the Chinese Version of our song “U”. It is a bit hard considering that we memorized the whole Chinese translation and do must not make mistakes. I’ve rehearsed with the rest of the members of SuJu M for the past week and I must say our hard work is paying off.

“Hyung, water,” Kyu appeared behind me, handing me a bottle of wate. We’re currently on a break right now and I’ve been standing outside the building to overlook the view of China and to get a breather.

“Thanks,” I said, opening the bottle and chugging down some of its contents.

“Donghae-hyung, are you alright?” He asked.

“Of course I am,” I answered back with a smile.

“I know something’s bothering you. You’ve been keeping yourself busy and I can see it. What’s the matter? And don’t you try deny it, hyung, because I won’t buy it,” he finished with that evil smirk of his. Really, this kid. I can’t help but just sigh.

“You’re too observant, you know that,” I remarked, chuckling a bit.

“Just for you,” he answered back before nudging me so I looked at him and found a pair of eyes staring at me rather lovingly, eyes that shows pure concern, and I can’t help but wrap my arms around his neck, nuzzling my face at the crook of his neck and taking a breath, he smelled like a mixture of sweet caramel and nuts. His arms found its way around my waist and his hand rubbed my back in the most comforting way. It didn’t even bother me that I need to tiptoe a bit because this maknae is annoyingly tall, but just a bit.

“It’s okay, hyung, cry if you want, I’ll be here,” he whispered in my ear but I shook my head lightly.

“No, I won’t cry. I will never cry about something like that again,” I answered, closing my eyes. He remained silent for a few seconds before asking another question.

“Why? Hyung, did…did you talk to Hyukjae?”

“You really are one smart ,” I commented with a bit teasing and his arms tightened around me for a bit.

“What did you say?”

“I told him that we’ll be back the way we used to be, being best friends forever. I said that he should just forget that I confessed,” I answered back slowly, closing my eyes as my eyes are showing signs of tears. No. I will not cry.

“Hyung…are you sure about that? After our promotion as Super Junior M, we’ll go back to Korea and you’ll have to be that couple Eunhae for the fans again, and you’ll just act like you feel nothing? That it’s all just pure friendship? You’ll hurt yourself more, hyung…you’ll suffer more,” he said.

“Kyuhyun-ah, I know what I’m doing,” I said as I held his shoulder and pulled him away from me to look directly at his eyes, “Don’t worry too much, okay? Besides, I got you and the other guys, for sure I’ll be fine,” I smiled at him. He sighed.

“You, how can you make people feel like wanting to protect you from everything you do without even trying?” He said with a chuckle and I playfully punched his arm.

“Ya, I never said you need to protect me.”

“I never said I needed your permission to do so,” he answered back and stuck his tongue out at me like a kid.

“Seriously, what am I? A kid?” I gave up. No one wins with this guys.

“You’re not a kid. You’re a baby,” then he ran inside as I playfully gave him a glare.

+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+

We finished our schedule at around 11pm and arrived at the dorm half past midnight. My band mates are dead tired but I am still full of energy. Why, you asked? Well, it is the fault of that freakishly tall maknae with the combination of a caring Ryeowook! They bought me lots of chocolate treats so that I won’t be drained, they said. And I, being that addict with sweets, actually finished all of it. And now I am suffering from having too much glucose in my bloodstream and I can’t sleep! The moment Mochi and I reached our room, he slumped on his bed without even bothering to change his clothes and he’s already snoring, while I sat there, silently envying the sleeping figure infront of me. I can’t even close my eyes for a minute! I feel so giddy and hyper! Tsk. With nothing else left to do, I grabbed my phone lying on my bed which I left here since morning and flipped it open, causing me to gasp.

I have 30 missed calls and 10 messages. Wow. It must be Heechul-hyung or Leeteuk-hyung. I was correct but I was completely shocked when I finally saw who really bombarded my phone with phone calls. The person I least expected to see his name appearing on my screen.

Hyukjae – 29 missed calls.

Heechul – 1 missed call.

Hyuk…seriously? What are you trying to do? I checked my messages next and sure enough, most of it came from him.

From: Hyukjae

Good morning, Hae~ do you have any schedule? You should just rest for more.

From: Hyukjae

Hey, I’m at the Mnet studio right now, we’ll be having a variety show. What about you? What are you doing? J

From: Hyukjae

Eat you lunch, Hae~ ^^

From: Hyukjae

Donghae

From Hyukjae

Lee Donghae

From: Hyukjae

Ya! Fishy! Why are you not replying?!

From: Hyukjae

Fishy! Hae! East sea! Donghae! Yaaah!

From: Hyukjae

You not replying only means either of the two…

1.      You left your phone

And number two…

From: Hyukjae

You’re ignoring me? Are you?

From: Hyukjae

Hae…

I can’t help but smile at his messages. It’s so…childish. I can’t believe I’ll get the chance to call him that since between us I was always the one who acts childish and stubborn. But him sending this messages is just a proof that he finally agreed to what I said last night; us being best friends again, like nothing happened. Thank God. As I was about to reply to his messages, my phone beeped and I checked yet another message from him.

From: Hyukjae

Hey, I just got home from Sukira. What about you? If you got home please let me know, okay?

To: Hyukjae

Monkey, I’m home! Sorry I didn’t reply, I left my phone. Haha ^^

I sent it, and not less than 2 minutes a reply came.

From: Hyukjae

I knew it would be the first reason. Haha. You never change, do you? Anyway, how’s your day?

To: Hyukjae

It was fun. We started filming today for the Chinese version of “U”. After that we had a radio guesting.

Right after clicking sent, I started counting how long it will be for his reply…and just when I was about to reach 115, my phone beeped.

From: Hyukjae

Don’t overwork yourself, okay? You just came from illness. Eat more and sleep more, okay? In fact, why are you not sleeping? For sure you are dead tired.

To: Hyukjae

Yes, dad. :P I would love to sleep but I can’t! Wookie and Kyu made me eat lots of sweets that it’s making me so hyper!

From: Hyukjae

Haha. That’s what you get from being a glutton!

To: Hyukjae

Look who’s talking. Ya! You eat way more than me and you would’ve done the same if they served you lots of strawberry treats! Haha

From: Hyukjae

…you’re probably right. Oh well, let’s not talk about food. When are you guys coming back?

To: Hyukjae

It’s a secret. Why? Miss me?

It’s been a long time since we actually texted like this. After our debut, we were so busy that we can’t even text each other about random things. And it felt good that I get to be like this with him again.

From: Hyukjae

Of course. Duh. Tell me when!

To: Hyukjae

Why are you so excited anyway?

From: Hyukjae

…because

To: Hyukjae

What?

From: Hyukjae

I have something for you.

To: Hyukjae

Really?! What?!

From: Hyukjae

:P it’s a secret.

To: Hyukjae

Hmp. Fine. Hyuk…

From: Hyukjae

Haha. What, Hae?

To: Hyukjae

Remember the promise we made to each other when we learned we’ll debut?

From: Hyukjae

The one at the park? Of course…

To: Hyukjae

Buddies forever ^^,

From: Hyukjae

^^, But hae…

To: Hyukjae

Yep???

From: Hyukjae

…nothing, I’ll tell you when you came back. It’s getting really late, you need to sleep.

To: Hyukjae

I told you I can’t sleep.

From: Hyukjae

Want me to call and sing you to sleep?

My eyes almost bugged out from reading that. That’s just…so cheesy. He never said it before. And then again, maybe he just wanted to make up for the time we lost as buddies. Of course.

To: Hyukjae

No thank you. My ear drums might bleed. :P

From: Hyukjae

Meannie! Haha. But I can’t disagree.

To: Hyukjae

You know it yourself. Haha. If you’re sleepy just go to sleep.

From: Hyukjae

I can’t sleep too.

To: Hyukjae

Why?

From: Hyukjae

Because you can’t.

To: Hyukjae

What’s that suppose to mean?

From: Hyukjae

Secret. Haha. Seriously, Hae. Sleep.

To: Hyukjae

Fine. Fine. I’ll try. Happy now?

From: Hyukjae

Not yet until you actually get some sleep.

To: Hyukjae

But I won’t be able to get some if we’re texting. Duuuh.

From: Hyukjae

Just close your eyes and dream of me. Haha. Good night, or good morning, Hae. I love you, okay? Don’t reply back!

I stared at my phone for atleast 5 minutes because of his final message. My whole body froze after reading it the first time and my fingers can’t seem to type a reply even if he told me not to.

I love you, okay?

Seriously, this guy never fails to surprise me with the words he use. It’s just…he can easily say something that’s so hard for me to utter. Smiling to myself, I texted him back with a short reply, closed my phone and surprisingly, I was able to get a peaceful sleep.

I love you too, buddy.